10 years old
THE FIRST TIME I saw him I was sitting on the bench by our kitchen window.
I’d just looked up from my book, wiping my nose with the back of my hand as I sniffled. I didn’t want to be reading. I wanted to be getting ready for my party.
It was my tenth birthday and all my friends were coming over. Except Ashley. She wasn’t my friend anymore because she called me mean names and I didn’t like that. So only my bestest of friends were invited. Friends who didn’t call me mean names.
But Mom said even though it was my birthday, I still had to read. I usually sat in my reading corner next to Dad’s desk, but for my birthday she let me sit by the window. She even let me put my pretty pink dress, which had a big sparkly bow in the middle, on early.
And that was how I saw him.
He was very fast—so fast I almost missed him. But I didn’t. I promised I didn’t. Mom and Dad didn’t believe me when I told them about the boy who ran through our backyard. They told me it was fine to have an imaginary friend, but it wasn’t nice to make up stories because no one would believe me when a story was true.
I was sad, but I tried not to think about him for the rest of the day. Instead, I focused on my princess party and all the presents I’d be getting.
But once the party was over, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the boy.
What was his name?
How old was he?
Why was he running so fast?
Where was he going?
What would he do when he got there?
Would I see him again?
I thought about him the whole next week, too. I hoped he would come back. I wanted to prove to Mom and Dad I wasn’t lying.
When the next Saturday finally came, Mom took me to the library in the morning to pick out a new book. As soon as we got back I asked if I could sit by the window again—declaring it my new favorite reading spot.
She said yes and kissed me on the forehead before leaving the room. I got comfortable and picked up the book while I waited for him. I tried to read a few lines, but I couldn’t. I was too excited.
My eyes moved between the book and the window until I finally gave up pretending to read. I turned and pointed my eyes outside, the book closed and clutched to my chest.
When he finally appeared, he wasn’t running. He had just peeked his head out of the bushes, eyes pointed in my direction. The boy immediately stopped and his eyes widened when he saw me staring back. I sat up straighter and smiled real big, like Mom told me to when I wanted to make a new friend.
He didn’t smile back. Did he not want a friend?
I ran to the door anyway, eager to talk to my non-imaginary, yet still imaginary friend, who might not actually want to be my friend. But I wasn’t fast enough. The second he saw me moving, he started running. And by the time I opened the back door, he was already through the bushes on the other side of the yard. Frowning, I walked back inside, softly shutting the door before going back to my seat.
I could have followed him. It would have been easy. All the houses were really close together, our backyards only separated by rows of large planted bushes, and there was enough space between each for a tiny body to wiggle through. But I knew I’d get in trouble if I left the backyard. So I stayed put.
The next three Saturdays he ran faster than normal, not once looking my way, but I wasn’t giving up. Each time I still ran to the door with a smile on my face. A smile that always fell when I got there too late.
When the fourth Saturday came, I thought of a really smart way to make sure he didn’t slip through. I asked Mom if I could read outside instead. She made a funny face, but I didn’t let my smile drop.
“Don’t you think it will be too hot, sweetie?” She looked worried as she glanced toward the backyard.
“I can sit in the shade,” I pleaded. I knew I would get hot and sweaty since it was the middle of June, it was why I’d never asked before, but I was sick of missing him.
“Please?” I held my fists under my chin, the way Bobby always had when he wanted something really bad. Mom smiled and nodded. I jumped up and down as I followed her to the door.
“I’ll be in my office if you need me, okay?”
I had already skipped halfway across the yard when I turned and nodded. I waited for her to shut the door and leave the kitchen before dragging one of the chairs near the path he usually took.
It only took about ten minutes until I heard the rustling of branches. The boy was looking straight ahead and didn’t see me until I was already running up next to him.
“Hi!” I greeted loudly.
His head whipped in my direction and he fell backward, landing on his butt. Panicked eyes met mine as he shuffled away from me and ducked low between two of the bushes. He was really skinny, like Bobby had been when he was in the hospital. But he didn’t look sick like Bobby. Just skinny. And a little dirty.
“You can’t tell anyone you saw me,” he whispered quickly.
“Why not?” I whispered back. I dropped down next to him, forgetting about how mad Mom would be when she saw dirt on my clothes.
Now that I was closer, I could see more of him. He had dark brown eyes and shaggy brown hair. I wanted to reach my hand up and ruffle it, but Bobby always punched me when I did that to him, so I stopped myself. He was white like me, except he didn’t have freckles and his skin was a little bit darker.
“Because.” His eyes darted around our backyard.
“Because why?”
“Just because.”
“My mom and dad think I made you up.” I jumped up, grabbing his skinny arm and pulling him across the backyard. “Ohmygod. You have to come with me. I’ll show them. Then they’ll believe me and stop talking about the crying wolf.”
He dug his feet into the dirt and ripped his arm away. “No,” he hissed. “Are you stupid? I just told you that you couldn’t tell no one.”
I dropped my arms and hung my head. “No one believes me.”
“Good.” He nodded and quickly walked toward the bushes on the other side.
“Wait,” I cried out, scared he would leave and never come back. He waited, but he was scared, too. I could tell because that’s how I looked when I knew Dad was going to spank me. “What’s your name?”
He rolled his lips between his teeth.
“Even imaginary friends have names.”
The boy looked back at me and smiled for the first time. It was beautiful. Bobby used to tell me guys didn’t want to be called beautiful, but I didn’t care. When this skinny, dirty boy smiled, he was beautiful.
Nodding, he stood a little taller before saying, “Hunter.”
I smiled too and waved. “I’m Sherry.”
Hunter slowly stepped forward and stuck out his hand. He looked down and saw it was covered in dirt; he quickly pulled away and wiped his palm on his jeans, trying to get it clean. When he thought it was clean enough, he put his hand out again and waited. I didn’t hesitate to slide my hand in his. We laughed as I dramatically swung our hands up over our heads before dropping them back between us.
And that was how I met the boy who ran through our backyard… the boy who’d forever be my best friend.
10 years old
Unless I was getting in trouble or my dad was angry, my parents rarely noticed me. I could go anywhere I wanted, whenever I wanted, and they would never know. They were either working or out “on the town,” whatever that meant.
We lived in a crappy apartment, a couple streets over from a really nice neighborhood next to a really nice park. A park they never took me to. It was huge with lots of things to climb, and I loved it. I ran to it every chance I could. I never wanted to waste any time, so I’d cut through the backyards in the really nice neighborhood in order to get to the park quicker.
The first time I ran through her backyard, I smiled. They had a swing set.
I had been running through her backyard for three months before I saw her. She was sitting at the window, reading a book. She looked pretty, but she also looked a little sad. She was wearing a pink dress and her long, light red hair was in two pigtail braids. The girl had seen me that day, too. Our eyes didn’t meet, but I knew it without even looking—I could feel her watching me as I ran.
When I came back a week later, she was in the same spot. This time the book must have been good because she was smiling as she hugged it to her chest. Our eyes met and I felt mine get really big. My steps were faster than ever before as I ran away from her. But once I was far enough, I started smiling. Because that was what her smile did—it made me smile, too.
I should have been mad at myself—no one was supposed to see me and I had slowed down just so I could look at her. But I couldn’t be angry because she looked so pretty and she seemed so nice when she smiled at me.
For the past few months I had run many different routes through her neighborhood, always switching so I never got caught. But after that first Saturday, I came back to hers every week for the next month. The girl always had a different book with her, and she never stopped smiling. I wondered if her mother and father were gone on Saturdays, too. She smiled like I smiled when my mother and father were gone.
It was stupid. I was going to get in trouble. But I couldn’t stop.
I knew she still watched me, but I never looked her way or slowed down. The only time I saw her was when I peeked through the bush, like I did at every house to make sure no one was there, before running through. The girl didn’t care. She continued watching and kept trying to talk to me, until one day, she won.
I’d never had a friend before. I talked to kids at school, but once they realized I couldn’t go over to their house and they couldn’t come over to my apartment, they didn’t talk to me. And maybe it was stupid after talking to her only once, but I thought maybe we could be friends.
But Sherry wasn’t like me.
I bet she didn’t get bruises when she was in trouble, and she looked like she got food every day, and she was probably always clean. Her hands didn’t have any dirt on them and her hair smelled like mint.
I smiled when I peeked through the bushes and saw her sitting in the same spot as last Saturday, the day she finally caught me. I stayed still and watched her blue dress shake as her leg bounced. She was staring down at her unopened book, her lips in a flat line. But when I started moving and my feet began to make noise, her head flew up and she smiled at me like I was one of her really good books. Her book fell to the ground when she stood up and ran toward me, her hair down and blowing out behind her.
“Hi, Hunter.”
“Hey, Sherry.”
We continued to stare at each other, both of us smiling, until she grabbed my wrist and pulled me along behind her. She frowned once more as she let go and sat down on a blanket she had spread out on the ground.
“You’re really skinny,” she said.
My smile fell. She wasn’t being mean like kids at school, so I wasn’t mad. And I already knew I was smaller than most kids my age. We didn’t always have food at home.
When I couldn’t think of anything to say, I shrugged and kicked a rock by my foot.
“Are you hungry?”
“No, I’m fine.” I spoke quickly and stood a little straighter. I didn’t want people knowing we didn’t have food. But Sherry only frowned some more and tilted her head. More silence passed and she looked down at her book before her lips spread into a wide grin.
“Are you excited for summer? I love it and I’m really excited. Mom took me shopping for some new dresses and a new bathing suit!” Her voice went really high as she bounced around. “I saw a few kids from my school there. Oh, and Ashley. She was my friend, but she’s not anymore so I didn’t say hi to her and—oh! I got a new backpack. Look!” Sherry stood up and grabbed a balled-up blanket a few feet away. She carefully unraveled it to show me a bright purple backpack with white stars all over it. “I know we still have a couple months until school, but it was so pretty! I had to ask Mom for it.”
I smiled because she was happy. She was so happy it made it hard not to smile. But inside, I was sad. I never got new clothes or shoes, and my backpack had tape all over the bottom to keep the little I had from falling out.
She had gotten quiet. I looked up from her new backpack to see her smile was gone. I didn’t like that her smile was always leaving because of me.
“Hunter?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah?”
“Why do you run through our backyard?”
“To get to the park.”
She rolled her pink lips between her slightly crooked teeth. “Why?”
“It’s fun.”
“When I go to the park with Mom and Dad we use the sidewalk and walk around.” She paused. “Why don’t you do that? And where are your parents?”
I shrugged. “They’re not around. They always go out on Saturdays.”
Her eyes widened and she looked like she’d figured out a puzzle. “You could still use the sidewalk.”
“This way is the fastest, and I need to make sure I’m home before they find me gone.”
Sherry’s head bobbed up and down. “You are very fast.”
I nodded along with her, but I didn’t say anything.
I knew I was fast.
When I got in trouble, I had to be.
10 years old
Hunter always came. Sometimes it was raining, and sometimes he was limping. But he always came back.
Only he didn’t run through anymore. For the past two months Hunter had stayed in my backyard with me. He was easily my favorite friend. Maddie had been my favorite friend before the boy who ran through our backyard. She had two puppies named Comet and Celeste, and they liked to lick my face. I liked it, too, but I liked Hunter more, even though he didn’t have any puppies to lick my face.
Hunter was still skinny. He always said he wasn’t hungry, but I started bringing out food anyway. I always had to hide my smile when he immediately ate whatever I brought him, mumbling a “thank you” through the food in his mouth.
Today we were sharing a small bag of chips and the peanut butter and jelly sandwich Mom made me for lunch. I was able to sneak out two juice boxes though. We only had strawberry because that was my favorite, but Hunter didn’t mind. He had already finished his half of the sandwich and half the bag of chips and was watching while I slowly ate mine. I always got in trouble when I ate too fast. I could still hear my grammy’s voice.
Count to twenty when you chew.
A lady doesn’t shove food into her mouth.
Take small bites.
“Here.” I slid the rest of the chips toward him. “Have the rest.”
He shook his head. “No, those are yours.”
“I’m full. I had a big breakfast.” I stuck my stomach out and patted it before slumping down like I’d seen Dad do whenever he told Mom how delicious dinner was and how full it’d made him.
I giggled when Hunter snatched the bag and started eating. “Fanks,” he said around a mouthful.
I watched him lick his fingers after each chip, making sure he got every taste. He looked better. His hair was a little longer, falling in his eyes, and he was still thin, but he didn’t look as skinny as he had when we’d first met. I smiled, hoping I might have helped.
“Hunter, how old are you?”
He swallowed this time before answering. “Ten.”
“Me too. My birthday is May fourteenth,” I answered proudly. “That was the first day I saw you. I was in my pretty pink dress, remember?”
Hunter smiled. “Yeah, I do.”
“When’s your birthday?”
“February twenty-ninth.”
“Oh!” I sat up straighter and Hunter put the bag down. “That’s so cool! You have a special birthday. It’s like magic.” I gasped and wiggled my fingers. “Sometimes it’s there… sometimes it’s not. Do you celebrate it on the twenty-eighth or the first of March?” I was almost out of breath I was so excited.
One of my friends, Jenny, was born on Halloween. She hated sharing her birthday with a holiday, she said it made her feel less special. I told her she was wrong and how I thought it was awesome. Jenny had everyone in the whole world celebrating her birthday, even if they didn’t know it. May fourteenth was only special to me and my family. But October thirty-first was a day people took notice of. And so was February twenty-ninth.
“I don’t,” he said quietly.
“Don’t what?” I whispered back. I grew even more excited. He was about to tell me a secret, that was why we were talking so softly. Hunter’s eyes looked up from the ground, meeting mine. He looked sad and my smile immediately went away.
“I don’t celebrate my birthday.”
“But…” I paused and my eyebrows bunched up. I was confused. “How do you get new toys?”
He didn’t answer this time. He just took out another chip and munched on it slowly.
“Is that why you go to the park? Because you don’t have any toys to play with?” I asked. Hunter nodded, looking a little embarrassed. “Why don’t you go to the park anymore?”
He shrugged. “Because it’s fun here.”
I smiled. “The park is a lot more fun.”
“A little.” He smiled, too. “But I’m always alone there. I’m tired of being alone.”
I nodded. I was always alone, too. Mom or Dad would walk with me, but they never played. They brought books and that was their reading time. Bobby used to play with me but he couldn’t anymore because he was dead and Mom said people can’t play anymore when they’re dead. I wished they could because Bobby was lots of fun. We stopped going when I told them it was boring without Bobby.
“Maybe we could go to the park together sometime,” Hunter said, his eyes lighting up with happiness.
I nibbled on my lower lip. “I can’t go without an adult. Mom will get mad.”
He made a weird face and wiped his dirty fingers on his jeans. “How will she know?”
“What if she comes outside?” I asked, pointing toward the windows.
Hunter’s eyes grew, becoming the biggest I’d ever seen them, before he quickly stood up. “Your mom’s home? Now?”
I looked around and frowned, confused by his question. “Yeah, she’s always home when I am.”
His panicked eyes flew to the house before he looked back down at me. “I gotta go.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
He ignored me and ran to the bushes. But I was learning to be quick too, so I got there at the same time. “Will you come back?” I was scared. I didn’t want him to leave. I wanted to see him again.
“I don’t know.” He paused, looking behind me. “I didn’t know your mom was here. She can’t ever see me. I’ll get in trouble.”
“Okay.” I nodded quickly and chewed on my cheek. “Then we’ll go to the park. You’ll run through like you used to, but now I’ll follow you.”
He smiled so big I could see all his teeth. I smiled back. He turned toward the wall of green again and I walked back to the blanket. I saw the bag of chips still on the ground where he’d been sitting. I picked them up, seeing there were still some left.
“Wait.” I ran back to him, surprised he hadn’t moved. He was just standing there, watching me. “You forgot your chips.”
“Thanks, Sherry.” He took the bag and disappeared before I could respond.
“Bye, Hunter,” I whispered to the air. I smiled at the thought of going to the park again. My smile was smaller than normal because I was also nervous. I didn’t want my stuff taken away, but maybe Mom would never know. She’d never come outside before. And even if she did, I’d be okay. I wouldn’t have my toys, but at least I’d know that Hunter didn’t get in trouble.
Mom had long forgotten about my “imaginary” friend.
But as I stared at the empty space he had just been in, I knew I never would.