Chapter Twenty
Five days later, escorted by fifteen Sutherland soldiers, Kai resting on a makeshift sled pulled by Colin’s horse, they arrived in Lagrith. Miran was overjoyed to be back in Fraser and Mary’s comfortable cottage, where with special care, Kai’s strength would surely return. Twas a miracle he was alive at all.
She sat beside his bed spoon-feeding him a clear broth. “Doona fight me, Kai. Sip this broth.”
“I am not a babe, I am capable of feeding myself.”
“Ye are acting as a child would.”
“I am safeguarding my pride, woman.”
She chuckled.
“Give me the spoon.”
She held it out of reach. “Doona deprive me of the pleasure of taking care of ye.”
Sighing, he tasted the broth. “I am sorry for being in a foul mood.”
“I understand, Kai, ye almost died.” If he had, she dinna know what she would have done.
“Why are you crying?” He thumbed a tear from her cheek and the corners of his mouth tightened. “I have hurt you.”
“Nay, tis nothing ye have done. Tis only…” They hadn’t spoken about what had occurred yet. She dinna want to upset him unnecessarily. “It will keep.”
“Don’t hide your feelings from me. I want our lives together to be built on truth. You can confide in me, Miran.”
She blinked at him, assessing his appearance. Aye, he was nearly himself. The light had returned to his beautiful eyes and his color had improved immensely. “Cadha’s death fills my sleep. I see her face, hear her scream.”
Kai took her hand and squeezed it. His intense gaze raked across her face. “I have waited for you to speak of it.”
“Aye?”
He nodded. “Miran, there is something I must tell you. The poison rendered me motionless and muddled my mind, but I could see and hear everything that happened.”
She froze. Jesu. He’d watched her kill Cadha. She covered her face with her hands. “I-I doona know what to say.”
“Listen to me.”
Still she dinna look at him; she was too ashamed.
“Please.” He gently pulled her hands from her face. “You saved my life, Miran. And for that, I am forever indebted to you.”
“I would do it again if anyone threatened ye…” She sniffled. “But surely it changes things between us.”
“Nay.” He scooted closer, tugging her into his arms. “Ye are brave. A worthy woman any man would be proud to call his own. Ye must pray and ask your God for peace. Everyone loses a bit of their soul when they are forced to kill. I experienced the same feelings you have now after my first battle, and I killed four men.”
“Four?” Her eyes widened.
“Aye. I was sixteen and proud to fight beside my father.”
“So young.”
“But fighting on the side of righteous justice, as were you. God always punishes the wicked. Cadha deserved to die, and her family must be destroyed.”
She nodded. “Colin shared more details about the conditions in Cacalay. How Igor withholds food from the children if they doona follow his orders. Three have died this year alone. How the young women are beaten and shared with his men. Women who are not favored by Igor are starved slowly, whipped, and eventually drowned or banished. Tiva is fortunate she hasna been raped yet. My heart broke for her. But she is recovering now, warm clothes and wholesome food is a start.”
“I am happy to hear it. Tell me you understand what I’ve been saying, that you will not be so hard on yourself.”
“I can say whatever ye want to hear. But the moment I am alone, dark thoughts fill my mind.”
“Then never be alone again, Miran.”
She gave him a sideways glance. “What do ye mean?”
He kissed the top of her head. “Marry me. Now. Tomorrow.”
What did he mean exactly? “That willna solve my troubles.”
“I disagree. Sleeping in my arms every night, feeling how much I love ye, will help heal yer heart.”
At the beginning of their journey, those extraordinary words would have frightened her, maybe even made her angry. Now that she knew Kai, had felt his strong arms around her, and experienced his dedication to her, she could accept it. But still… “Ye love me? Truly?”
“Come here, sweet one.” He slid his hand behind her head, guiding her closer until their foreheads touched. “I have always loved you.”
*
He kissed her softly at first, then desire exploded inside him and his tongue sought hers. Her sweet taste filled his mouth, providing more healing powers than sleep or food could ever give.
“K-Kai…”
He pulled back so he could see her face.
“I love ye.”
His heart thundered in sweet victory. He’d waited what seemed a lifetime for her to realize they were meant for each other. “We belong together.”
“Aye. But there is something I must know.”
He arched a brow.
“Before I discovered Cadha in yer tent, I was on my way to see ye.”
“Another blessing from God.”
“Nay,” she disagreed. “I was verra angry. My maid told me Jamie encouraged ye to woo me, gave ye permission to marry me.”
Kai inhaled deeply and repositioned himself against the pillows on the bed. “Aye. I sought his blessing before we left. What did you expect me to do? How could we travel together and not face the truth of our feelings? I knew we had to come to terms. I want to be yer companion and husband. Your lover.”
“Why not ask for my blessing?”
Kai did not want to hurt her. Sometimes Miran had unusual ideas about how men and women should act. She was intelligent and imaginative, but had lived a sheltered life. “Even if I had gained your approval, Jamie had to give his permission.”
“We could have sought it together—once we decided what to do.”
“Miran.”
“Aye?”
“You cannot change the rules.”
“Why not? Do we not all change as time passes?”
“Aye.”
“Traditions change, too.”
“Slowly.” He knew that from personal experience. At one time, foreigners were not permitted in the holy city of Constantinople. When the princes realized how much coin they could get if they opened up their ports for trade, they enacted new laws.
“I am a patient woman.”
“Save your strength for another cause. If you require an apology for me seeking Jamie’s approval to win you, I refuse to give one. It was the best decision of my life. We are betrothed now.”
“Aye,” she said. “But, please, the next time ye want permission for anything that involves me, seek me out first.”
He grinned. “I will do my best to honor your request.”
“Captain Kai?” Colin peeked inside the room.
“Colin,” Kai said. “Come in.”
“Ye doona know how happy it makes me to hear ye laugh!”
“I am feeling better,” Kai said.
“The Sutherlands are growing restless. It’s been days. Are ye strong enough to meet with them?”
“Aye. Bring their captains to me now.”
Colin bowed and departed.
“Do ye wish me to go?” Miran asked as she rolled off the bed.
“Nay. I would like you to stay and listen. Please sit in the chair by the door.”
An hour later, three men wearing Sutherland tartans entered the small bedchamber.
“Captain Kai MacKay, I am Captain Gordon Sutherland, second cousin to the earl. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances.”
“Captain,” Kai said.
“Ye’re young commander has relayed everything that happened at Cacalay. We dinna know how dire the conditions were under Igor’s rule.”
“I am grateful for your help. Captain,” Kai said. “And I believe we can find a way to end Igor’s reign. Once I am home, it will be my first priority to organize a larger force and march against Igor. I will accept no less than his life as payment for his transgressions against Clan, MacKay, me, and the innocent people he brutalizes every day.”
“I have sent a request to the earl seeking his permission to restore order in the village. I believe both our clans will benefit greatly.”
“Agreed.”
Kai and Gordon grasped each other’s forearms.
“I will return to our stronghold and await word from ye.”
The Sutherlands left.
“That is all?” Miran asked, sounding surprised.
“What do you mean?”
“Ye trust the word of that man?”
“No more than he trusts me. We are adversaries but want the same thing. Have you ever heard the saying ‘keep your enemies close’?”
She shook her head. “Would it no’ be easier to be allies?”
Kai patted the open space beside him on the bed where Fraser and his wife normally slept. “Sit with me.”
She did.
“Because Laird Jamie and Lady Helen married, there is an unspoken peace between our clans. Yet, in order to keep his reputation intact and his alliances with other clans that don’t like us, the earl pretends to be our enemy.”
“A deceptive man.”
“Aye. And a brilliant statesman.”
“I doona like it.”
Kai chuckled. “Do not worry, Miran MacKay, all will be right soon enough.”