Epilogue

Two years later…

Crew –

“Addison?”

I just got back from my run and the house is quiet. She’s not in bed and I know she’s not at work because she’s not supposed to be. Her car is here, so that only leaves one place for her to go. Pulling up the cameras on my phone, I shake my head at what I see. She’s definitely within her confines, but she’s pushing the limits.

I head toward the rear of the house and through the door to the back of our property. Together, we own the entire section of land, although I only train recruits at my camp. I keep my office here at the farmhouse now, I prefer it here and have since the first day I set foot on her vineyard. We’ve carved out a little corner of Earth, her and me. Not very many things could make it more perfect, but we’re working on it.

I make it down the patio steps and there she is, too far away, near the edge of the yard that backs to the pasture only separated by the aged wooden fence. I look at her across the expanse, almost in the exact spot where I married her, and think about all that’s happened over the last two years.

She’s talking to her cows, and I can’t see from here, but I bet she’s feeding them molasses. We should own stock in molasses.

Maybe I’ll look into that.

She ignores me since she knows I won’t be happy about her being out here, and even though she might not hear me, there’s no doubt she knows I’m coming since Batgirl’s going ape-shit. I swear I bought a dog in a cow’s body. Even at two years old, she’s like a puppy, and still gets excited when she sees me.

Standing behind her, I put one hand to the fence beside my wife and cup her belly that’s heavy, carrying our baby, in the other. Leaning in, I put my lips to the side of her head. “What do you think you’re doing?”

She reaches in the pocket of her sweater for more molasses. “You know the doctor said I could get up a couple times a day to walk around. Surely you haven’t forgotten, you were there and argued with him when you thought he was giving me too much rein. I’ll go back in a second, I wanted to see cows. It’s not like I walked clear across the pasture.”

“Baby,” I start and gently pull her back into my front and rub the baby. “This is not what he meant and you know it. You walking down two flights of stairs is more activity than he meant. He definitely didn’t mean it was okay for you to traipse across an acre to feed the cows.”

She leans her head back against my chest and sighs. “Probably not, but she’s due in two weeks and I feel good. I just wanted to get outside.”

“I would’ve carried you if you wanted to come outside.”

She laughs but looks annoyed. I know she’s frustrated being on bedrest, not able to work and keep up with her normal level of activity, but she seems off.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She shakes her head against me without saying a word.

“What’s wrong?” I press.

She sighs again, putting her hand over mine. “Getting so close to the due date, getting to meet her, hold her…it’s hard not to think what we missed out on. Do you think about it?”

“Baby.” I slide my hand up her body and tip her face to look at me. “Everyday. How can I not? They’ll be with us forever.”

It’s true. Two miscarriages within six months will live in me for eternity. Having two babies we’ll never know, watching her go through what she did, and living through that heartache together is something you don’t ever get over. We waited months to try again, I even started looking into adoption without her knowing. I wasn’t sure I could watch her go through it again.

So when she started having issues this time and had to go on bedrest, I didn’t know what to think. Secretly, I’m not sure we should try again. If she wants more kids, I’ll press for adoption.

She closes her eyes and leans farther into me.

“Hey.” I squeeze her to get her attention. “It’s time to focus on the happy. But you need to bake the baby for a couple more weeks and you need to do that from our bed where you’re supposed to be. The cows can wait.”

She turns, her big belly pushing into me, and gives me a small smile. “I guess, but I have a feeling she’ll love the cows. Not every kid has pet cows.”

Leaning down to kiss her, I smile and take her hand, leading her to the house where I’ll put her to bed myself. “Maybe I should get you a puppy. A house pet, not a farm pet. A big dog that can hang out around the tasting room, sort of a mascot.”

“The cows are easy, Crew. I don’t think I want to train a puppy with a newborn.”

I give her hand a squeeze as I hold the door open to our three story farmhouse. “We’ll see. I think my daughter needs a dog.”

“Crew,” she drawls my name. “You can’t over spoil her. Spoil her, yes, of course. I’ll spoil her, too. But she can’t be overly spoiled. There’s a fine line.”

We make our way up the first flight of stairs and I’m contemplating carrying her the rest of the way. She shouldn’t have even walked down, let alone up. “Does that mean getting her a dog or paying off all her loans? Because if I can help it, she won’t ever pay shit high interest rates for no reason.”

She squeezes my hand. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” I respond earnestly.

We round the second floor hallway to the next set of stairs when she yanks me to a stop. I look back and she’s holding her belly, but her face is etched in pain.

“What’s wrong?” I ask quickly.

She groans.

“Addison, what’s wrong?”

Grabbing her back, she exhales and looks up at me. “I think she’s coming.”

“Was that a contraction?”

She nods, still in pain.

“But.” I try to remember what’s next. “Don’t we need to wait for the next one? Make sure it’s real?”

She shakes her head and looks down where her jeans are wet. “It’s real.”

“You stay here,” I demand. “I’ll get your shit and carry you to the car.”

“You don’t need to carry me.”

I ignore her. “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

I run up the stairs to our bedroom and grab her bag. By the time I make it down to the second floor, she’s not there. I make the turn and she’s almost to the bottom.

“Damn it, Addison.”

Without looking back, she waves me off as she walks slowly to the kitchen. “I’m about to have your baby, Crew. Don’t talk to me like that.”

Frustrated she won’t do as I say, I calm my voice. “Can you get to the car okay?”

She’s already made it to the mudroom and simply ignores me. I close my eyes and drop my head, wondering if my daughter will be just like her mother.

*****

Addy –

It went fast, which was a surprise since they prepare you for the worst of situations during those stupid classes. Especially since I was on bedrest for almost three months and we lost two babies before that. It’s about time something was easy.

It’s the middle of the night and I’m snuggling our daughter who’s only a day old. Her daddy, my man, my husband, is asleep in what looks to be the most uncomfortable chair on earth. He won’t leave us even though I told him he could go home to sleep. All he had to do was look at me like I’d lost my mind to know that wasn’t going to happen.

I don’t know how many times he’s complained about the hospital, saying he can’t wait to get us home. I think he’s just ready to get back to the fortress he’s created.

“You know.” I jump when I hear his voice. Even after years with him, he still finds ways to sneak up on me. “She’s getting a puppy on the way home.”

I roll my eyes and look back to Vivre who, for a newborn, has a full head of dark hair. But how can she not between Crew and me? “I changed my mind, you’re going to have to spoil her rotten so she doesn’t hate us. You and your family of strange names. With a French first name followed by a Spanish last name, not to mention all the V’s, surely she’ll hold that against us.”

He gets up and sits on the side of my bed, putting his arm around both of us. “Trust me, it’s better than every other language I speak. We’ll call her Vivi. Or Vee. What better name could we give our child after what we’ve been through?”

I agree, but I also have visions of teachers mispronouncing her name. Not everyone will know that Vivre is pronounced veeve. It is a beautiful name, if said correctly. Which no one will, but oh well. We’ll know and someday we’ll explain the meaning to her.

I lean into my husband and look up into his dark eyes. “Time to live.”

He looks to Vivi and back before cupping my jaw, pulling me in for a kiss. “Time to live,” he agrees. “Love you, my Abby.”

I smile against his lips. “Love you, too.”