CHAPTER TWO
“I got in,” I squealed, holding up the letter from Mesa Community College.
“Of course you got in.” Tammy smirked at me. “It's a community college. Everyone gets in.”
“Don't rain on my parade.” I scowled at her.
“I'm sorry. I just don't understand why you want to go to college so far away.”
“There aren't any good video game design colleges around here.”
“Still. Wouldn't it be better and cheaper to just get an associates in art locally and then transfer out.”
“I'd rather not spend my first two years of college learning about stuff I don't give a crap about. Besides, it's not like you can't afford to send me.”
She frowned. “I just don't like the idea of you being so far away. We've never been apart. Aren't you worried about being alone?”
“Oh, come now, Mother. All little birds must leave the nest sometime.”
She laughed and then sighed, “If this is really something you want to do. We'll have to find a cheap apartment for you though, maybe fly up there in a week or two and scout out the area.”
Tammy's phone rang, and I plopped down on the sofa in the living room as she went to answer it. I was just about to turn on the television when I heard her say, “Oh, hi Dom. Long time no talk to.”
It took everything in me not to seem enthusiastic. Even though he never wanted to talk to me, I always looked forward to his phone calls, to hearing about what he had been up to. Five years had passed since I had last seen him, but I always pictured him looking the same, being the same amazing guy. How he wasn't married yet baffled me, but I was secretly happy about it. It was stupid, but there would always be a small part of me that wanted him for myself.
Ever since I became old enough to date, I found myself comparing other guys to him. Were they selfless like him? Were they as handsome as he was? Were they as generous or caring? No one ever stacked up. Maybe that's why I was still single. In a world full of villains and men with cruel intentions, Dominick was the only real prince charming I had ever met. I was convinced that knowing him had ruined me for other men.
“Kim just got accepted to Mesa Community College,” Tammy was telling him. “Oh? I didn't know you had moved. Why'd you move?” She paused, “Really? I don't know, Dom. You've done so much for us already. I wouldn't want to impose any further.” More silence. “Well, it would save money. Marcus and I are trying for a baby right now, you know?” She paused again, “I'll talk to her about it, but I still don't think it's a good idea.”
From that point, the conversation became one-sided with Tammy filling him in on her new promotion and everything that had been going on in our lives. I noticed that she rarely gave Dominick room to talk. He had always been a better listener though, a man of few words.
I turned the television on, pretending to watch a show on Lifetime Movie Network while I waited for her to get off the phone so that I could ask what Dominick had said. Last I heard he had been living in Valencia, California. He seemed to like it there, so I couldn't understand why he would move. Then again, ever since Tammy's wedding, he hadn't stayed in one place for long. This was the fourth time he'd moved in five years, though he had lived in Valencia the longest. I had thought that he was finally settling down somewhere, but I guess not.
Finally, she hung up the phone and came to watch television with me until Marcus got off work. I expected her to start talking the moment she walked in the room, but instead she focused on the television, ignoring me completely.
“Well?” I asked.
“Well what?” She looked at me blankly.
“Well what did Dominick have to say? It's been a while since he called last.”
“Almost six months.”
“I wish he'd call more.” I frowned.
“He's a busy man. I imagine that being a famous author doesn't leave him with much time for idle chitchat with old friends.”
“I suppose. So, what did he have to say?”
“He moved from Valencia.”
“I heard. That's kind of weird. I thought he really liked Valencia.”
“He did, but you know Dom; he doesn't like to stay in one place for too long.”
“Yeah, that's weird too.”
“That's just how he is.” She shrugged.
No. It's not. It's how he became after the wedding, I thought bitterly. If Tammy had never married Marcus, then maybe Dominick would have stayed with us forever. There was no way of knowing now.
“So, where'd he move to this time?” I asked.
She hesitated, “You won't believe it if I told you.”
For a moment, I was filled with excitement. He came back. He came back, which means I'll get to see him again. He came back, and I'm leaving. That thought caused a fissure in my heart. Maybe I would go to a local community college after all. If he had come back, then I didn't want to run off to another state.
“He moved back here, didn't he?” I said finally.
“No.” She shook her head. “He's living in Mesa, Arizona right now.”
My breath caught in my throat. He's living in Mesa.
“That's awesome. That means when I move to Mesa, you won't have to worry about me being alone.” I did my best to contain my enthusiasm.
“Yeah,” she sighed.
“What's wrong? You don't sound happy.”
“It's not that I'm unhappy. I'm glad there will be someone there that you know and will look after you.”
“Then why did you sigh?”
“I don't know if I should tell you or not.”
Here comes the bomb. He got married, didn't he? Or he had a kid? Or he's married and has a kid? Part of me didn't want to know. My heart was already slowly breaking inside at the thought, though I kept trying to tell myself that it didn't matter. Dominick, above all people, deserved to be happy. I should be elated for him if the news was so good.
“You can't say that and then not tell me.” I hid the disappointment from my voice.
“Well, I told him that you got accepted at Mesa Community College, and he asked if you would want to come move in with him, since he lives close to the college. He figured it would save me money, and he says he has plenty of room.”
I think I stopped breathing when she told me that. Dominick offered for me to move in with him? It was like a dream come true, better than just getting to see him. This was the closeness to him that I had always wanted, wasn't it?
“I don't really like the idea,” Tammy continued. “I mean, I know he'll take care of you, but I know he works from home, and I don't want you to be a burden to him.”
“I wouldn't be,” I said quickly. “I could cook for him and clean for him. I would pay my way. It's not like I would just be mooching.”
She gave me a quizzical look. “You'd actually want to live with him?”
“Yeah. I mean, if he's offering. Just think about it. It would save you so much money. And if I took care of his house, then it would benefit him too. It would be a win/win situation for all.”
“I guess. I'm just thinking about you, really. I mean, don't you want your own place to hang out with friends and bring boys back to. I don't know if Dominick would allow that. He's a very private person.”
“I'm going to Mesa to go to college, not to make friends or pick up boys,” I told her, though I'd honestly never factored any of that in. Tammy was right; I probably wouldn't be able to have friends over if I stayed with Dominick, but at least I could go out if I wanted to.
“Take a night to think about this, okay? I know it sounds like a good idea now, but he's not the same person he was before.”
“Sure he is. Dom would never change.” I frowned at how little she seemed to think of him. He had always been the same steady stable caring Dominick. She was the one who had changed. She had become selfish, casting him aside for Marcus after everything he had done for her. The resentment bit into me, but I tried to hold it back.
“Just think about it, alright? You don't have to decide tonight.”
“I know.”
“Take the week, and if you still want to move in with him, I'll call him back, and we'll set everything up.”
“Alright.”
I didn't change my mind. The rest of the week, my thoughts were consumed with seeing Dominick again. Was he still as handsome as I remembered? I tried to think about how Tammy and Marcus had changed over the last five years and use it as a comparison. They were both a lot more mature looking. Tammy had gained a small bit of weight. Marcus's shoulders had gotten broader. They were both just older versions of themselves. Then again, so was I. Would Dominick even recognize me anymore?
The weekend came around, and I had my answer. I wanted to live with Dominick, wanted to return some of his kindness by caring for him as he had cared for us. There was no way I could ever repay him, but I would try.
When I told Tammy my decision, she sighed and reluctantly agreed. I listened as she called Dominick and talked to him about the arrangement. Everything seemed to go smoothly, though Tammy sounded apprehensive throughout the entire conversation. It didn't matter to me though. This was my life, not hers. He had made the offer, and I was going to take it.
In the weeks that followed, I brushed up on my domestic skills, offering to take over all the cooking and cleaning until it was time for me to leave for Mesa. By the time I got there, I wanted to be perfect—perfect for him. I even tried to remember what his favorite dishes were and practiced cooking them. As they say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
The reality of the situation didn't really sink in until the day we left for the airport. Even as we loaded up our bags in the car that morning, my stomach twisted like a nest of angry snakes, striking out at my insides with what ifs. What if this was a mistake? What if I was a burden to Dominick? What if I annoyed him? What if I just got in the way?
It was too late to turn back though. I had made my decision, and I would have to see it through for better or worse. Of course, if things got too bad, I was sure I could call Tammy, and she would find some way to make things alright. There was no point in worrying about it now. I knew that, but my brain was on overdrive.
Tammy flew with me to help soothe my nerves. It was the first time I had been in a plane since before our parents had died, and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. There was a little turbulence, but for the most part, it was a pleasant flight. I remember looking out the window and thinking about how I was leaving my old life behind. I was leaving Virginia as a little girl. I would be arriving in Arizona as a woman.
Tammy told me that Dominick wouldn't be waiting for us at the terminal. He had turned into somewhat of a hermit and didn't like being in public. Instead, we would meet him at the passenger pickup area outside of the airport.
Once we got off the plane, the snakes in my stomach really became active, twisting themselves to the point of nauseous pain. I couldn't believe that it would only be minutes before Dominick and I were reunited. Five years was such a long time. I was both happy and scared, excited and dreading it. Part of me wondered if I'd still have feeling for him at all. What if I saw him and there was nothing there? Did it even matter? College, Kim. You're here for college. Remember that. Seeing Dominick is just a bonus.
We collected my suitcases from baggage and then headed toward the passenger pickup area. Tammy seemed equally nervous as we approached the large automatic sliding doors that led outside. She was biting her bottom lip, scanning ahead to see if she could locate Dominick.
A sign with my name on it caught our attention first. Kim Naramore, it said. The man holding it was far too old and short to be Dominick. He had white hair and weathered skin, looking to be somewhere in his mid to late sixties. Tammy pointed to him as if I couldn't see the sign, and we approached with smiles on our faces.
“Are you Kim?” the man asked with genuine kindness in his voice.
“Yes, sir. We're the Naramores,” Tammy replied.
“This way, please.” He turned and led us toward the line of cars and limousines that were waiting for other passengers.
I felt embarrassed when Tammy spotted Dominick first. “Oh my God,” she said, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree. Then she jogged ahead of me, setting down one of my suitcases and practically leaping into the arms of a man I never would have recognized from afar.
It took a few more steps before I began to believe what I was seeing. This was not the man I remembered. Where were the jeans and T-shirts he always wore? The unkempt hair? The five o'clock shadow? It had been replaced by a business suit, perfectly styled hair, and sunglasses so dark that you wouldn't be able to see his eyes unless you were right up on him. The man whom Tammy was hugging was a complete stranger to me, I realized with despair.
“You look so different,” she was telling him when I finally approached.
“I try to be better kept these days.” Even his voice sounded different, harder, less friendly. Perhaps that was because he was nervous. I couldn't really tell. “And is this your sister?” He turned to me.
“Hi Dom,” I greeted him nervously.
“It is. Kimlet. How you've grown.” He smiled, but it didn't feel genuine.
Kimlet. When I was little, I had a Piglet doll from the show Winnie the Pooh that I carried around everywhere. Dominick used to tease me about it, and eventually started calling me Kimlet. At the time, the pet name delighted me, but as I grew older, I began to hate it. It was a cruel remember that he still thought of me as a little girl. I wasn't little anymore though. Surely, he could see that now.
“Well, as much as I'd love to stick around, my flight back will be leaving soon,” Tammy said. “I just wanted to come and see Kim off, make sure that she got to you safely.”
Dominick nodded respectfully. “I understand. Shall we?” He looked down at me.
The man who had been holding up the sign went to take my bags and throw them in the back of the limo. Tammy hugged Dominick a final time, telling him how much she appreciated this and that if I was any bother to him that he should call her, then she hugged me, telling me pretty much the same thing about him.
“I'll be fine,” I growled in annoyance, embarrassed by how motherly she was acting. “You don't need to treat me like a baby. I have my cell phone. If anything goes wrong I'll call you.”
“Alright. No need to get so defensive.” She gave me a serious look, and I instantly felt guilty for acting like such a bitch.
“I love you, and I'll miss you.” I hugged her tightly, trying my best to make up for it. “I promise I'll call you every night.”
“You better, little sis. I'll miss you too. Remember that if you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call.”
“I won't.”
She released me from the embrace, and as I watched her walk away I had never felt more alone. It was like I had been delivered to a stranger, and I would have to make the best of it.
Dominick placed a hand on my back, startling me. “Are you ready to go?” he asked.
“Mhm.” I nodded, glancing at Tammy's back for a final time as she walked through the double doors, leaving me behind.
We climbed into the limousine, and I looked around in wonder. Dominick grinned when he crawled in behind me, sitting on the opposite side. The thing was spacious enough that we could put a good amount of distance between us, and he did, perhaps feeling as nervous and awkward as I was.
“You've never been in one of these before, have you?”
“No.”
“I don't usually take limousines, but it's easier to get in and out of the airport with one.”
“Oh.”
The limo pulled away from the airport, driving us toward Dominick's home.
“How was your flight?”
“It was alright.”
“I'm not a fan of flying, though I do it more than I like these days.”
“I liked watching the buildings and people get smaller when we took off for the airport. I don't remember ever seeing anything like it.”
He smirked. “You've grown.”
“I have.” I tried not to blush, wondering what he thought of me.
Dominick was still handsome, though he was a different kind of handsome than he had been before. Like Marcus, his shoulders had gotten broader. He had lost most of his boyish looks and was now all man. Instead of being a bit messy, as I remembered him, he seemed refined. An upgrade of the Dominick Parker I used to know.
“You look so much like your mother,” he said
“I don't remember much about my mother.”
“I didn't think you would. You were very young when she passed away. But she had the same hair as yours, brown and curly.”
“I wish I would have gotten Tammy's hair. I hate how unmanageable my hair is.” I tugged at a strand. Somehow, my mother had learned how to control her hair. In all the pictures that I'd seen of her, it looked nice and soft. Mine was a frizzy mess most days.
“I think it looks nice.” He smiled, but I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not.
“Thanks. I hear you're a big time author now.”
“I am. If you asked me ten years ago if I saw my life going this way, I would have definitely told you no.”
“How did you think your life was going to turn out?”
“Different.” The word sounded short, and I knew he didn't want to talk about it. I had a pretty good idea of how he wished it would have turned out, with him marrying my sister. The thought made me sad.
The rest of our journey was fraught with silence. Thankfully, the drive was short.
Since Dominick was rich now, I expected us to pull up in front of a mansion. Instead, we drove into what appeared to be a luxury apartment complex. The car lurched to a stop in front of a building at the back of the complex, and Dominick and I waited for the driver to open the door before we climbed out of the limo.
“Home sweet home,” Dominick said as the driver went to retrieve my bags.
“You live in an apartment complex?” I asked.
“No. It's a condo.”
I felt underwhelmed but tried not to show it. Why it bothered me that he didn't live in a house, I don't know. If he hadn't offered to take me in, I would have ended up in an apartment anyway.
Dominick picked up my suitcases and carried them to the door of his condo. He pulled out a key and opened it up before going inside. I followed him through the living room into one of the bedrooms.
To my surprise, the condo was spacious and incredibly well decorated. It almost didn't look lived in, like a show unit. The color scheme was all beige and mahogany and black and silver. Everything matched and flowed together perfectly. I was almost scared to touch anything.
“This will be your home for the next few years. I want you to make yourself comfortable,” Dominick told me as he placed my suitcases on the bed.
“Wow, Dom, this is really nice,” I commented, looking around.
The room was small, but it would do. There was a full-size bed with a bedside table, chest of drawers, and desk with a laptop. I had brought my own computer, so I wasn't really sure what to do with the one that was already there.
“It should be sufficient,” he replied. Even his mannerisms had changed from what I remembered. The Dominick I knew would never say something so stuffy. I felt like I would be on pins and needles around him for a while.
“Um, Dom?”
“Hm?” He straightened himself and looked at me, pulling his sunglasses off and folding them before hanging them from the front of his shirt.
“I just wanted you to know that I didn't come with plans to be a burden on you. I want to carry my own weight. I plan to cook and clean. I don't know if you had someone else do it for you before, but I'll take over from now on.”
He smiled warmly at me, and it was the first glimpse of the old Dominick that I had seen since arriving. “That would be great. I typically do the cleaning around here myself, though cooking isn't really my forte. I go out to eat for most of my meals.”
“That's not very healthy.” I frowned at him.
“I know.”
“Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore. I'll cook for us, and it will help save you some money too.”
“Much appreciated.” He paused for a moment before speaking again, “I'm going to give you some time to settle in, and then I'd like to discuss some things with you.”
“I don't really need to settle in. We can discuss them now, if you want.”
“It's whatever is easier on you. I'm not the one who just got off a plane.”
“It's fine. I'd like to visit with you for a while. I have all the time in the world to get unpacked.”
“Well, I wouldn't say that you have all the time in the world, but if you're up for a quick chat, then I suppose we can get it over with.”
His words stung. Already, I was feeling like a burden. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.
Dominick retreated to the living room, and I followed behind, trying to keep a positive attitude. He sat on one of the two loveseats, lounging back, a habit that he still retained from the days before my sister betrayed him. The small familiarities helped to comfort me somewhat, though they were few and far between. I sat across from him on the other loveseat, feeling like I was about to get a lecture.
“I figured that since I work from home and don't really have a set schedule that I could drive you to and from school every day,” he said.
“Is there not a bus route around here?”
“There is, but the college is only nine miles down the road. It's a straight shot, and it would be good for me to get out more.”
“That's not really necessary. I don't mind taking the bus.”
“I insist,” his words were polite yet strict at the same time.
“Alright,” I replied hesitantly.
“I spend most of my days in my office. If I'm in there, it means I'm working.”
I waited for him to say something else, like that I wasn't to bother him when he was working. Apparently, he thought it went without saying.
“Anything else?” I asked.
“No. That's all I can think of.”
“Am I allowed to have friends over?”
“I'd rather you not. I don't mean to be rude, but I live a very private life.”
“It's fine. I kind of expected it, to be honest. Well, Tammy told me to expect it.”
We sat in awkward silence for a moment. This wasn't the chitchat I had imagined at all. It felt like we were complete strangers, but like he had no interest in finding out about me. After a few more minutes, Dominick stood and went to his bedroom. I sat there for a while longer before doing the same. It didn't appear that he would be coming back out anytime soon. Our discussion was over.
That night I was restless, wondering if I had made a mistake by agreeing to move in with him. He was not the Dominick I remembered. Sure, he still looked like the same guy, for the most part, but emotionally, he was so different. There was no warmth or love emanating from him. He seemed to be just a shell of the man I had known before. That made me sad, but I supposed that time changed all people, and not always for the better.
The next morning when I emerged from my bedroom, I found Dominick already in his office. To my surprise, the door wasn't closed. Then again, I suppose since he had lived alone for so long, there was no reason to close it. He didn't even acknowledge me as I walked past his office to go to the restroom.
Once I finished getting dressed, I went into the kitchen to check out the refrigerator. It was bachelor central in there. I had never seen a more empty refrigerator in all my life. The only thing occupying the shelves were a few bottles of water and a six-pack of beer. He hadn't been joking about not eating at home.
My stomach growled as I looked at all the empty space. With a frown, I closed the refrigerator and opened freezer. An ice cube tray. Are you serious? That's all that's in here.
Grumbling, I closed the freezer and started checking out the cabinets. By some miracle, I found a box of cereal and some ramen noodles. Without milk though, there was absolutely nothing I could eat for breakfast. Had he even thought about the fact that I was going to need to eat?
I didn't want to bother him while he was working, but I was too hungry not to. Trying my best not to seem annoying, I knocked on his office door, waiting until he looked up at me before entering.
“Good morning,” he said politely.
“Good morning,” I replied, showing the same courtesy.
“What's up?”
“You don't have any milk.”
“I don't usually eat breakfast.”
“Ugh. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”
He smirked. “Thank you for that lesson, teacher.”
For some reason, his words made me blush. Maybe it was the way he was looking at me. Some warmth had returned to his features, some resemblance of the man he once was.
“Well, I eat breakfast every morning,” I told him. “And there's nothing for me to eat here.”
“Then I suppose we'll have to remedy that, now won't we?” He stood and walked past me, disappearing into his bedroom.
In truth, it was nice to see him out of the business suit. He looked a lot more natural in the plaid pajama pants and gray T-shirt he was wearing now—and a lot more sexy. Not that he didn't look sexy in the suit. On the contrary, he had been quite handsome, but I was craving the Dominick that I used to know, not the stranger who had shown up at the airport to retrieve me.
At first, I thought he was going to get dressed to take me out to eat. I waited patiently in the living room until he returned with his wallet. He opened it up and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill, handing it to me.
“You can buy groceries with this,” he told me.
I took the money, giving it a puzzled look. “Are you going to drive me to the grocery store?”
“You told me you didn't mind taking the bus. I'm sorry, Kimlet, I have work to do right now.”
I grumbled internally at the pet name. To add insult to injury, he mussed up my hair before retreating to his office. I'm not a little kid anymore, God damn it. How long before he starts treating me like an adult?
With a sigh, I returned to my room and pulled out my laptop to check the bus schedule. Apparently, the money would have to cover my bus fare too. To say the least, I wasn't pleased. How could he possibly expect me to buy a lot of groceries if I had to carry them on the bus? It seemed like he was just trying to get rid of me.
Two bags full, that's all I can get, I told myself as I headed to the bus stop. It was going to be a long miserable day. I could already tell. I just hoped that it wasn't going to be a long miserable two years of college.
By the time I returned from the grocery store, my arms were aching from carrying the bags of groceries all the way from the bus stop to the condo. I had over-shopped, so I ended up with four bags instead of two. And milk is damn heavy when you have to haul a gallon long distance on top of other things.
When Dominick came to the door, he took over, carrying the bags the rest of the way inside, though he left them in the kitchen, so I could unpack them. I scowled at his backside as he returned to his office. Lazy bones. When did he become so dismissive?
I decided to try not to let it bother me. I had said that I was going to make his life easier, and apparently, feeding me had never been a part of his plan. The least I could do was put away the groceries I had forced him to pay for.
When I finished putting the groceries away, I finally got to eat a bowl of cereal. At that point, it was already past noon, and my stomach was practically devouring itself. Hunger pangs had been racking through me since I first made it to the bus stop. It had been a horrible morning, but at least tomorrow I wouldn't have to go through the same thing.
After breakfast, I made myself a sandwich, trying to catch up on my meals for the day. Then when lunch was over, I started preparing dinner. As far as I could tell, Dominick hadn't gone out to eat yet, so I was sure he would be getting hungry soon.
Since I had to carry all the groceries myself, I decided to make something simple. Spaghetti and meatballs was on the menu tonight. Hopefully, it would stretch until Dominick was willing to take me to the grocery store so that I could get him stocked up on the ingredients I would need to cook other meals.
About half-way through preparing dinner, Dominick came into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. He looked over my shoulder, sniffing at the pot of bubbling spaghetti sauce.
“What's that?” he asked.
“Spaghetti and meatballs. As I recall, it used to be one of your favorites.”
“It still is,” he replied, returning to his office without another word.
When dinner was ready, I knocked on his office door. I felt like an annoyance, bothering him while he was working, but I wanted him to eat while it was still hot.
“What?” He looked up at me.
“Dinner is ready,” I told him meekly.
“Alright. I'll be out in a few minutes.”
I nodded, returning to the kitchen to get the place settings for the dining room table. When everything was set up, I waited for Dominick. Luckily, he didn't take too long.
“What's this?” he asked, standing in front of the table and looking at it like he'd never seen plates and silverware before.
“I told you I was going to make you dinner.”
“It's not even five o'clock yet.”
“You're hungry though, aren't you?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Then sit down and I'll serve you.”
Hesitantly, he pulled out a chair and took a seat. As I walked back to the kitchen with his plate, I wondered what was wrong with him. He had been acting so strange ever since he picked me up from the airport.
I served Dominick first and then myself, sitting down to eat across from him. Most of the meal was spent in silence, though he did compliment my cooking, which made me feel good. By the time he was done eating, his plate was completely empty. It filled me with a sense of pride to know he enjoyed my cooking, like I was doing something right.
After we finished eating, he returned to his office, where he stayed for the rest of the night. I did the dishes and retreated to my own room, feeling like a roly poly from all the food I had eaten. I'd had three meals practically back to back. It was the most I'd eaten in such a short span in a long time.
In the following days, I got a feel for Dominick's routine, or lack thereof. He practically lived in his office, though he'd come out for meals and to take a shower at night. Occasionally, he'd go to the gym, but that was about it. I had never met such a hermit in all my life.
While our exchanges of conversation were brief, I did feel like he was starting to warm up to me a little. Perhaps I had been too hard on him when I first arrived. He was always polite and nice and considerate, and no matter how many times I barged into his office while he was working, he never got mad.
When I wasn't cooking or cleaning, I stayed in my room so that I wouldn't bother him. Thankfully, the internet provided enough entertainment to tide me over until school started, though by the time the first day of school arrived, I was admittedly going a bit stir-crazy.
That morning, Dominick and I both got up early. He donned his business suit for the second time I had seen him wear it, and then we walked out the door and went to the garage, which was detached from the rest of the building. I nearly crapped my pants when he clicked the opener and revealed a brand new red Maserati GranTurismo convertible.
“What happened to the Frankenstein car?” I asked jokingly as I set my backpack on the floorboard.
He huffed. “Dead and buried, like so many other things.”
I wasn't sure what he meant, but I didn't like the darkness behind his words. There was a lifelessness about Dominick that I couldn't put my finger on. In fact, it seemed like he just went through the motions every day. Get up. Work. Eat. Go to the gym. Go to bed.
I was glad to have something else to worry about when he dropped me off in front of the college. This was the real reason I was here. It was time to get my learning on.
The first day of school was hectic, but I made it through. I was happy to see that most of the other students were around my age, and I hoped that I'd eventually settle in and make some friends, even if I couldn't bring them back to Dominick's place. For as much as I cared about him, as things were, I couldn't imagine him being the only one in my world for the next two years.
When Dominick picked me up that afternoon, I felt awkward as the other students stared at his car and made comments. I could hear some of them talking, wondering who he was. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, and I found myself walking faster just so that we could hurry up and leave.
“How was your first day of college?” Dominick asked when I opened the car door to step inside, not even bothering to turn to me, his eyes and emotions hidden behind dark sunglasses.
“It was good,” I replied, staring out the window, watching dozens of heads follow the car as it drove away.
“What's your favorite class?”
“Probably The Electronic Game Industry.”
“What's your major?” I could see his eyebrows crease.
“Video game design.”
“That should make you popular with the boys.”
The comment sounded dry, and I couldn't tell if he meant it as sarcasm or not, but I chose to ignore it. He had no business caring about how popular I was with the boys. I was a grown woman now, after all.
Thankfully, instead of going back to the condo, Dominick took me to get groceries. I piled stuff into the cart enthusiastically, not even caring about the total until we actually got to the register. When the cashier rang us up to the tune of over three-hundred dollars, I cringed.
“I'm sorry, do you want me to put some of this back?” I asked, cowering.
“It's fine,” he replied, whipping out his credit card and handing it to the cashier.
The abundance of groceries barely fit in the trunk of his car, and it took four trips for me to get it all inside once we got back to the condo. As normal, Dominick retreated to his office, leaving most of the work for me. I couldn't help but wonder if he actually was working, or if he was busy playing video games or watching porn and ignoring me half of the time.
When all the groceries were put away, I started on dinner. Dominick came out of his office to eat with me, and then I did the dishes, and we went our separate ways. This must be what living with a roommate was like. We co-inhabited the same space, but we really didn't speak a lot or spend time together. Maybe it was better that way. After all, I would only be here for two years. There was no point in getting too attached.
The next day at school, I was greeted with the same stares and whispers as we arrived in front of the college in the Maserati. I could almost feel the eyes following me as I got out of the car and walked up to the building. Perhaps I should insist on taking the bus after all. I certainly didn't need the attention.
In my Society and Business class, we were forced into three-man groups to work on a project. I was paired with a peppy girl with hair as curly as mine and a charming looking blonde boy. The girl quickly introduced herself as Carmen Rucks and then launched right into questions about the Maserati.
“Your parents must be loaded,” she commented. “Why are you going to school at a community college?”
“The car doesn't belong to my parents,” I replied nervously.
“Oh. Is it yours?” Her eyes widened at the prospect.
“No.”
“A boyfriend?” Her excitement was completely unmerited and almost annoying.
“Carmen, leave her alone. Geez, you're so nosy,” the boy complained. Then he turned to me with a grin. “Seriously though, who does the car belong to? I don't know anyone around here that can afford a car like that.”
“It belongs to a family friend,” I told them.
“A rich family friend?” Carmen asked.
“Obviously. How many poor people do you know who drive around in Maseratis.” The boy rolled his eyes.
“Oh, shut it, Victor. I'm just trying to make conversation and be friendly,” she barked at him.
“It's fine.” I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Um, he's an author, actually. The guy who owns the car, I mean.”
“Oh, cool.” Carmen immediately calmed, returning her attention to me. “Anyone famous?”
“You probably wouldn't know him.”
“Carmen, would you leave her alone? This project isn't going to do itself,” Victor complained.
“You're such a drag,” she grumbled at him. “It's not like it's a difficult project.”
“His name is Dominick Parker,” I said, not really wanting to start the project either.
Carmen gasped. “The Dominick Parker? The guy who wrote Behind Her Green Eyes?”
I shrugged. “I honestly don't know what he's written. I haven't read any of his books.”
“Oh, girl, you should. They're so steamy. That man can write one sexy love story. He's hot too.”
I still wasn't sure if we were talking about the same person. Dominick was definitely attractive, and I did know he wrote romance. It just weirded me out to think someone who had never met him before might actually know who he was.
“Can we get to the project already?” Victor growled.
“Yeah. I think we should start working on it,” I agreed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
“Can I meet him? I'd love to have his autograph,” Carmen continued, completely ignoring both of us.
“Sure. If you want to follow me out to the car after school, you can meet him. I'm still not sure we're talking about the same person though.”
“Cool,” she nearly squealed. “It has to be him. It just has to be.”
“Well, if it's not, don't say I didn't warn you.”
The entire conversation made me feel uneasy, and I was never happier than when we did finally move on to work on our group project. All the while, I caught Victor stealing glances at me, which made me blush. He was cute and mature looking. Maybe it was the glasses that made him seem sophisticated, or his good posture, or the clothes he was wearing. I couldn't tell, but he was definitely on a different level than the other boys around me.
After school, Carmen met me in the hall to walk me to Dominick's car. Victor had been on my mind all day, and I had a pretty good idea why. I had already found myself comparing him to Dominick, though I didn't know enough about him to come up with anything conclusive.
“You and Victor know each other?” I asked Carmen.
“Yeah. We went to high school together.”
“Oh. I thought so by the way you were acting during the group project.”
“I kind of have a crush on him, but don't tell him. I was really happy when we got paired together,” she told me with an ear to ear grin, and I felt my heart sink a little.
I had finally made a friend, and we both liked the same boy. What were the odds?
“That's such a hot car,” Carmen commented as we rounded the corner and the Maserati came into view. It was parked in the dead center of the pickup area, as if its placement was purposeful to make the other cars around it feel inferior. “I can only imagine a hot person driving it.”
“Usually, when I see cars like this, I think of old men driving them,” I said, sounding somewhat bitter.
I opened the door and ducked down since the top was up. Dominick was hiding behind his sunglasses as normal. He turned to us, looking impatient.
“Hey, Dom, this is my friend Carmen. She wanted to meet you.”
Carmen gasped. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It is him,” she squealed and then proceeded to jump up and down like an idiot, drawing unnecessary attention to us.
I could hear Dominick let out a loud sigh before he said, “It's nice to meet you. Now get in the car.”
“Mister Parker, sir, can I have your autograph please? I love all your books. I've read them all. I think I'm your biggest fan, or at least one of your biggest fans.” Carmen ran around to the driver's side and waited patiently for Dominick to roll down his window. As he did, she fumbled through her backpack for something for him to sign.
The whole thing made me feel awkward. Was Dominick really such a big deal? It was hard to picture it. Then again, nothing had been as I had expected when I came here, at least as far as Dominick was concerned.
Carmen extracted a book and a pen from her backpack and handing it over. I couldn't help but grin at her body language. She was shifting her weight, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, wiggling a bit. She looked down on him as if he was her favorite movie star. She was attracted to him. That last thought made me want to scowl.
“Is there anything in particular you want me to write?” he asked her.
“Um.” Carmen thought for a moment. “Put 'with love' and then sign your name.”
“Alright.” He scribbled the message onto the inside of the cover and handed the book back to her.
She looked at it for a moment as if it wasn't real and then pressed the book to her chest. “Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This means so much to me. You have no idea. I'll keep it forever.”
“I'm glad I could make a fan happy.” Dominick turned to me. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes.” More than ready. The way Carmen was treating him was getting on my nerves. It wasn't like he was God. He was just Dominick.
“See you tomorrow, Kim.” Carmen waved at us as we pulled away, still clutching the book to her chest.
“How was your day?” Dominick asked me, completely ignoring the lunatic in the rear-view mirror.
“It was good. I made some friends finally.”
“Good. I'm glad.”
“Why did you sign the book 'with love'?” I asked abruptly. “I mean, you don't love her. You've never even met her. Why would you sign it like that?”
Dominick smirked. “Does that bother you?”
I felt my cheeks growing warm, though I wasn't sure why. “No. It just seems strange to me.”
“I did it because that's what she wanted. As an author, it's my duty to keep my fans happy.”
“Oh.”
The rest of the ride was spent in silence, and I was left thinking about how much had changed. It was strange knowing that Dominick was famous now. He had always been so sweet and down to earth and humble. Now he was stiff and professional and somewhat cold.
Carmen spent the entire next day during our group session gushing over Dominick. She talked about how handsome he was and how lucky I was to be able to live with such a creative genius. Then she asked if I'd read up on the stuff he was writing now. I told her I thought that was illegal. Besides, I had never been into steamy romance novels. They were just too unrealistic to me, not what love and sex were really about.
“That's why they're fantasy,” she said, shaking her head at me. “I'd love to be in one of that man's fantasies. He's got to be an ace in bed with the stuff he comes up with.”
“Can we not talk about this?” Victor asked.
“What do you mean?” My interest was piqued.
“The love scenes he writes.” Carmen pretended to fan herself off. “I bet that man can fuck twelve ways from Sunday. I'd love to find out. You think he was into me?”
Her question made jealousy rage through me. Dominick wasn't into anyone except for my sister, from what I could tell. Even that thought made me feel unpleasant. Why did I care anymore? He wasn't the man I had known before. He was completely different now.
“I think he's gay,” I said abruptly.
Victor laughed. “Aw Poor Carmen. It looks like I have a better shot with him than you do.”
“I wouldn't be surprised,” she grumbled. “From what I can recall, he's never been married.”
“Nope, he hasn't,” I confirmed.
“Besides, what straight dude writes romance?” Victor commented.
“Nicholas Sparks, to name just one. There's also Sylvain Reynard and a slew of other guys who write under pen names. You'd be surprised how many men write romance,” Carmen told us.
“I don't like romance,” I said.
“What girl doesn't like romance?” She arched an eyebrow at me, sounding offended. “Are you sure there's not a penis under that skirt?”
“I don't like romance either.” Victor shrugged.
“Well, you're a boy. You're not supposed to like romance. Kim is a girl. Liking romance is in our blood.”
“I mean, I do like romance.” I blushed. “Just not romance novels.”
“What's there not to like? Hot guys, heart-warming story lines, steamy sex scenes.” She waggled her eyebrows.
“For the love of God, can we just get back to work?” Victor groaned.
“Yeah, back to work,” I laughed at them.
Carmen wanted to follow me out to Dominick's car again after school. It irritated me, but what could I say to my only potential friend. Besides, if she took enough of an interest in Dominick, then maybe she wouldn't mind if I pursued Victor. At least, I hoped she wouldn't mind.
This time when we approached the car, Carmen was a lot more subtle. She simply smiled and waved at Dominick, though she still shifted her weight and had the starstruck look in her eyes. I couldn't help but grin. Would I ever get used to someone seeing Dominick that way? It reminded me of how I used to look at him when I was a little girl.
The rest of the week went on as normal. Carmen continued to follow me out to the car every day after school just to say hi to Dominick. I wasn't sure what she was hoping for, but at least she was becoming less and less annoying with each visit. His magic powers were wearing off on her.
On Friday, Dominick was in a better mood than normal when he picked me up. I was so used to him having deadpan expression that it almost concerned me to see him smile.
“What are you so happy about?” I asked while we pulled out of the campus parking lot.
“One of my books got optioned for a movie,” he told me, and I could hear the excitement in his voice.
“That's awesome!”
“Yeah. I thought we could celebrate.”
“Sounds like fun. What do you have in mind?”
“I figured we'd go out to eat and then come home and have drinks afterward.”
“Does that mean you're actually going to let me have alcohol?” I gave him a suspicious look.
It sounded too good to be true. Tammy never let me drink. Sure, I had a few drinks with friends in high school, but she never knew about it. If she had found out, I would have been in big trouble, so I always made sure not to drink too much.
“Only if you want to.” He glanced over at me.
“Heck yeah. The week hasn't been too stressful, but I could definitely use a drink.”
“I don't think it will hurt too much to let you have a few drinks. You're almost an adult.”
“I am an adult,” I corrected him, frowning.
“Well, you're not of drinking age yet. But the point is that it's Friday. You don't have school tomorrow. You're not going anywhere, so I don't have to worry about you. If it's supervised, I think it will be okay.”
“Oh Dom, don't be so lame. You sound like my father.”
“Well, I am in charge of your well-being until you transfer to another college or leave this state.”
“No, you're not. You're just my roommate.” I shook my head at him, quickly becoming annoyed.
The rest of the car ride was spent in tense silence. It seemed like I had struck some nerve with Dominick. He wasn't smiling anymore, but I didn't care. Hopefully, once he got a few drinks in him, he'd loosen up. Things had been a bit awkward between us since I had arrived. Maybe this was just what we needed to break the ice.
Dominick took me to eat at Charleston's. The food was good, and the atmosphere was casual enough. When he had first told me that we were going out to eat, I pictured somewhere ridiculously fancy. I was glad I was wrong. If anyone looked overdressed, it was Dominick in his suit and tie.
After dinner, we stopped by a liquor store so that he could pick up some bottles of wine. You'd think he was buying for a party, considering he came out of the store with six different bottles. Surely, he didn't expect us to drink all of them.
“That's quite a selection,” I said as he stepped back into the car and placed the bottle carrier on my lap.
“They give you a ten percent discount if you buy six at a time,” he told me.
I smirked at him. Rich and still a thrift shopper.
While we drove home, I read the labels on the bottles. Most of the names, I couldn't pronounce. It didn't really matter. I wasn't a wine connoisseur, and it was so rare I got a hold of alcohol that I would drink pretty much anything you set in front of me.
“You want me to make anything to go with this?” I asked him when we got home.
I was so excited about drinking I was practically wiggling. There was some strange exhilaration in knowing I was far away from home without the protective hand of my sister. Plus, this was the first time Dominick was truly treating me like an adult. At least, I took the fact that he was going to let me drink as treating me like an adult. Maybe he just didn't want to drink alone. I didn't really care as long as I got to drink and have a little fun with him. Deep down inside, I secretly hoped the alcohol would bring back parts of him that I used to know.
“Make whatever you want,” he said before disappearing into his bedroom and closing the door.
I rummaged through the refrigerator, trying to think of what paired well with wine. Fruit, cheese, crackers, and chocolate sounded the most reasonable. When I went to find a platter to put it on though, I discovered that Dominick didn't own one. I scowled as I placed everything in a bowl instead, making a messy display of it. Obviously, he didn't care, so why should I.
A few minutes later, he emerged from his bedroom in a pair of gray pajama pants and a white muscle shirt. I blushed as I looked at his well-defined shoulders. Was he trying to seduce me? He had never worn anything so revealing in front of me before. Usually, he wore T-shirts around the house when he wasn't dressed up in a suit. Though, that wasn't much less revealing than what he had on now.
“Are you alright?” Dominick gave me a quizzical look.
I quickly turned my eyes down to the bowl, embarrassed that he had caught me staring. “I hope this is okay. You don't have any platters, so I had to put everything in a bowl.”
As he came around the corner, he mussed up my hair, turning my embarrassment into anger. Why did he have to treat me like such a child? Grrr.
“It looks good, Kimlet,” he said, adding insult to injury.
I thought about saying something but decided not to. This was supposed to be a good night. Arguing with him would only ruin it.
The first bottle he opened was called Opus One. I watched as he poured it into a wine glass, then sniffed it, swirled it around, and took a sip.
His nose crinkled a bit as he looked at me and said, “I hope you like red.
“I'm not picky,” I replied, waiting eagerly for him to fill my glass.
As soon as he did, I tried to mirror what he had done, wanting to look somewhat sophisticated. I think my actions had the opposite effect, because he smirked at me when I took a drink and nearly gagged from it.
“So bitter,” I commented.
“Don't be picky.” He grinned, picking up his glass and heading out toward the patio. I followed behind with my wine glass in one hand and the bowl of snacks in the other, taking another quick sip as I walked.
It felt like the wine was alive inside my body. The heat of it drained down my throat and winded its way through my intestines. It was such a strange feeling, definitely not what I was used to.
Dominick had a small table set up on his back patio with two wicker chairs. It was quaint and comfortable, shaded by the unit above us. I settled down in my chair, popping a strawberry in my mouth before taking another sip of wine. The sweetness of the fruit seemed to make it taste better.
“I'll probably be gone a lot for a while,” Dominick said.
“Why?”
“Because I'll have to fly to Los Angeles to do some paperwork and talk to the film producers about the movie.”
“Oh. Alright.”
“I just thought I'd let you know.”
“Okay. I'll hold the fort down.”
“I'm sure you will.”
We sat in awkward silence for a moment before I spoke again, “It's weird how famous you are.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was just surprised Carmen knew who you were.”
“A lot of people know who I am, though not by sight. The great thing about being an author is that even though you can be well known, a lot of fans wouldn't recognize you on the street. Authors aren't in the limelight like actors are. I doubt your friend would have even known who I was had you not told her.”
“Probably not.”
We continued to make idle conversation until our glasses were drained. Then Dominick took them inside for a refill. Already, I was beginning to feel warm and fuzzy. The wine was going to my head, and I decided to take advantage of the situation, to give digging Dominick out of his shell the old college try.
“How'd you get so stuffy?” I asked when he brought me my third glass. The brand of wine had changed, I could tell by the taste, though I had no idea which bottle this new vintage had come from.
“What?” He turned to me, looking as emotionless as usual.
“From before you left. You weren't always like this. I remember you as being fun and sweet and smiling all the time.”
“I'm still fun and sweet, though I must admit I probably don't smile as much as I used to,” he said thoughtfully.
“There's nothing fun about you now,” I huffed. “You just hole yourself up in your office all the time.”
“What would make me more fun?” He grinned in amusement.
“I don't know.” I shrugged. “Maybe if you got out more. I remember that you and me and Tammy used to go to amusement parks a lot. You had fun there. We should go to an amusement park.”
“If it would please you.”
“If it would please me,” I mocked him. “What's with all of this proper speech? Loosen up a bit."
“People change, Kimlet. It's what happens when you get older.”
“Well it sucks. I'm never changing. I liked you better back then. And why do you still call me Kimlet? I'm not a little girl anymore.”
“You're still a little girl to me.”
His words stung like a slap. After all this time, he saw me no differently than he had before. It bothered me greatly, though I wasn't sure why. Why was it so important for him to see me as a woman now?
“I'm not a little girl,” I insisted.
“Oh really? What makes you think that?”
“Well, you're letting me drink. And I got taller. And I have these now.” I grabbed my breasts, pushing them together to make cleavage.
Dominick busted out laughing.
“What?” I growled at him.
“Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that.” He set down his glass and wiped his mouth with the back of his arm as if trying to erase the smile that was there.
Hearing him laugh, seeing him happy, filled me with a strange warmth. I had almost forgotten how sweet his laughter sounded. I wanted to hear more of it.
“Don't act like you've never seen boobs before,” I said, jiggling my tits crudely. They weren't big like my sister's, but I could still make cleavage in the right bra.
Dominick glanced at my breasts, then quickly looked away, blushing.
“Don't look away,” I told him. “I want to get it through your thick skull that I am a woman now.”
“Fine. Fine. You're a woman now. Would you stop already?”
“Making you uncomfortable, am I? Have a taste of how I've felt all week.”
“You've been uncomfortable here?” He turned to me, all amusement lost from his face.
Suddenly, I felt guilty. “Well, not so much uncomfortable. It's just not how I expected it would be.”
“How did you expect it would be?”
I shrugged. “I guess I was just looking forward to things being the way they were before you left.”
Dominick gave me a strange look. “Things will never be as they were before.”
“Because my sister got married?”
He tensed. “Because we've all changed. We're not children anymore.”
“You weren't a child back then either.”
“I know, but I was a different person.”
“Well, I think you need to learn to relax more. Life's too short to be uptight all the time.”
Dominick sighed, “I'll try to relax more if it pleases you.”
“If it pleases me,” I mocked him again, sulking.
He wasn't going to change. This was just the way he was now, and I was going to have to accept it.
“I know, let's play a game,” I suggested.
Dominick looked at my suspiciously. “What kind of game?”
“How about truth or dare?”
“You claim to not be a child, and yet you want to play child's games?”
“Shut up and get me another drink, and when you come back, we're playing. Maybe I could do with being more mature, but you could do with being more childish. Meet me somewhere in the middle tonight, yes?”
The smile returned to his face, and I melted again. Damn this alcohol. Despite the fact that I'm mad he's changed, I still want him. Carmen was right, he's incredibly good looking. Those muscular arms. That charming smile. His dark hair and gray eyes. I want him to be the man he used to be, but above that, I just want him.
Dominick went back inside to refill our glasses, and I puzzled over the strange desire running through me. Warmth wasn't the only thing that had taken over my body. I looked down and blushed to see my nipples pressing hard against the fabric of my shirt. There was a needy throbbing between my legs too.
When he stepped back through the sliding glass door, I zeroed in on his crotch, wondering what was beneath those pajama pants. Stop it, Kim. What in the hell has come over you? This is Dominick. He has no interest in you, and you shouldn't have any interest in him either. He's already made it perfectly clear he doesn't see you that way.
Dominick handed me the glass, and I chugged it heartily, trying to still my nerves. Nothing about me was still though. The world was becoming a confusing swirl the more I drank. The only thing that was clear to me was my desire. My body had been denied the pleasures of a man for far too long, and the one I had always wanted was only a few feet away. When he had originally left after the wedding, I never thought I would see him again. Now, here we were, sitting side by side. I was no longer a child. He had to see that. I would make him see that.
“Truth or dare?” I asked.
“I bet you want me to say dare.” He gave me a sarcastic look.
“I don't care which one you say as long as you play,” I lied.
“Truth.”
“Did you ever have sex with my sister?”
Dominick shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I don't want to play anymore.”
“It's too late.” I shook my head. “You picked one already. You have to see this through.”
He sighed, “No, I didn't sleep with your sister.”
“Why not?”
“I told you I wasn't playing anymore.” He frowned.
We sat in awkward silence for several moments before I spoke again, “I'm glad you didn't sleep with her.”
“Why?”
“Because I've always liked you.” My heart felt like it had climbed up into my throat. All the warm alcohol in the world wouldn't push it back down. While I was feeling bold, I was still scared of rejection. This was the moment of truth—the best time to bring it up. If he said something that made me feel like crap, I could just pretend like I didn't remember anything tomorrow. Then we could go on like nothing had ever happened.
“Puppy love,” he replied, staring forward.
“I'm not a puppy anymore, Dominick.” I looked over at him, biting my bottom lip.
“No. You're a drunk little girl.”
Hearing him call me a little girl made anger rage through me. I rose from my chair and attacked him, flailing and slapping at him.
“I'm not a little girl, you asshole. Stop calling me that.”
He quickly went on the defense, laughing and cowering and covering himself with his arms at first to deflect my attacks. When he realized I wasn't going to stop, he tried to grab my wrists. I lost my balance and fell onto his lap, worming myself around into a sitting position. By that time, he had a firm hold of my wrists. Both of us were breathing heavily. He was smirking at me, looking gorgeous with those warm gray eyes. For a moment, I thought I saw the man he had been before, and I lost myself. My body bent forward, my lips zeroed in on their target. Apparently, my perception wasn't as good as I had estimated, because he turned his head just in time, and I missed. In that moment, my heart shattered into a million people. He had rejected me.
“Kim, you're drunk,” he said when I pulled away, and he turned back around to face me. The hurt was plain on my face. My eyes were watering, and I suddenly felt small and alone.
“I'm not, Dom,” I insisted, wiggling my wrists free of him. “I'm a woman, and I've wanted you for as long as I can remember.” I crawled off of his lap and returned to my chair, feeling ashamed of myself. Of course, he had rejected me. He would never see me the way I saw him—feel for me what I felt for him.
Suddenly, I was angry again, angry that he had rejected me, angry that I had been stupid enough to hope and try. “I'm glad my sister never fucked you,” I grumbled.
“I think you've had enough to drink.”
“And I think you need to realize that she never loved you. It was me. Always me. Do you have any idea how many times I daydreamed about you being my husband? How many nights I cried after you left because I missed you so badly? Did you even think about me when you left? About what it would do to me? No. Because you were too wrapped up in my stupid selfish fucking sister to notice. You never saw me. Never. I love you. Not her. I always loved you.
“Do you remember the day my sister told you that she had become engaged? You acted all cool and tough like it didn't faze you. I went and sat outside because I thought you were okay. Then you came outside, and I saw you crying. I wasn't meant to see you, but I saw you. And then I started crying. Do you know why? Not because I gave a shit about my sister and her stupid boyfriend getting engaged. Not because I was worried about myself. I cried because I was afraid I'd never see you again. I cried because it wasn't fair. You were always so good and perfect. You deserved to be happy. And she was so fucking selfish that she never even looked back at you when you left. But I looked back. You were all I could think about. And I cried and cried and cried.”
The tears came unbidden like the words from my lips. I couldn't be around him anymore. Just being in his presence was tearing me apart. Why was I saying these things? Why was I embarrassing myself like this?
Unable to handle it anymore, I got up and ran to my room, closing the door behind myself. Then I laid on my bed and sobbed. Part of me hoped Dominick would come comfort me, but he never did. The look on his face when I had left was of utter shock. He was speechless and probably uncomfortable. It didn't matter. I had been carrying the weight of those words for so long, it felt good to get them off my chest but horrible at the same time. Tomorrow, I would pretend like I didn't remember it, but I would remember, and he probably would too. What was going to happen now?
Thankfully, I didn't have too much time to worry about it. My head was spinning and the crying I did expended what little energy I had left. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep, a night of dreamless sleep carrying me away from my worries and fears.