⌽ Samael ⌽

 

My thoughts are consumed with Anna. It wouldn’t be something unsettling me if they weren’t unusual for me. I’m not thinking about how I will torture her, how I will prepare her for her life as my father’s wife by showing her what he did to me. I’m not relishing in the idea of her torment about that she just learned it was me, who killed her grandparents. I’m not eager to see her again, so that I can finally see hatred and pain in her eyes.

No. I know she can’t kill herself. Not the way I left her, but I’m still worried. I’m not worried that I might hand her over to my father damaged.

I simply worry.

I have this strange ache in my chest I can’t find words for. I want to push the accelerator down to the floor, but that action will definitely get me pulled over. So, I drive slightly above the speed limit, like everyone does and continue to feel how something inside me is getting eaten away, slowly.

I need to sort my mind, and work through it. I can’t avert my eyes from the truth anymore. I cannot ignore what is happening around me. I want to, and I tried, because I believed that it was the only life that would ever be possible for me.

I want her for myself. I don’t want to give her to my father. I will have to find a way around it. I don’t want anyone to touch her. Not even my father. No matter what he says, no matter what he throws at me, no matter the punishment. I don’t care.

And if I must keep her locked and hidden away in that cellar forever, so be it. I won’t share her with anyone. She will get used to it. She will learn to love me for it, for protecting her from the outside world and the one on the inside.

Yes. She’ll be mine and mine alone. No matter the consequences.

 

೦ Anna ೦

 

I try to come up with a plan, but there is none. I can’t escape them and Samael is at least one day out. And then, I’m not sure anymore that I want him to save me. Maybe if I vex them enough, they will kill me and all of this will be over. Virginity untouched or not.

I could simply bite off Gabriel’s cock once it’s in my mouth. That is a good idea, I will do that.

I try to hide my grin, try to stand here, primly, and wait for them to tell me what to do. Since they have stopped talking to me I cast my eyes down again, and hope that they haven’t given me away, that these two vile creatures haven’t seen the spark of defiance in me. No, this isn’t defiance anymore. It’s blood lust.

“Turn around,” one of them orders, and I don’t care which one it is, I obey without hesitation, while I try to prepare myself for tasting blood, and for trying to chew down on an erect penis.

It’s not going to be easy and I will have only one attempt to really bite it off. It’s going to be filled with blood, that’s how it stands up straight. And I will have to be absolutely determined.

I guess I will have to thank Samael for teaching me how to overcome my reluctance of biting down on something that’s not meant to be eaten. A cock is definitely not as disgusting as a roach. That’s what I tell myself. And blood can’t be more disgusting than the liquid insides of a roach either.

I grin. They can’t see it anyway.

“Hands behind your back,” is the next order and this time, I want to hesitate, but I don’t.

Of course, they like bondage. Or, they don’t trust me. Maybe they are just testing me.

I stay still as one of them pulls a thin rope through the shackles at my wrist and binds them together.

“Now, bend over.”

Again, I am obedient, but my mind moves from preparing myself to wondering, what they are up to.

I flinch, as I feel one of their hands brushing my inner thigh and pull through the thin rope that Samael used to bind my ankles with. I watch a pair of shoes move to my side and see how the rope is brought up to my collar.

I don’t dare to move or flinch, as I feel the coarse hand on my neck. He pulls on the rope and I feel it dig between the lips of my pussy, pressing against my clit uncomfortably. He knows perfectly well what he is doing. I don’t like this, but I can’t start to struggle, or otherwise I might not get the chance of biting someone’s cock off. And I am really looking forward to doing that.

“Open your mouth.”

Oh, crap, no.

He hasn’t finished binding the rope. What is he going to do with it, now?

“Open your mouth!” he insists and I panic.

I push my mouth open and I instantly regret.

“Tongue up.”

Nonono.

I feel it on my teeth and under my tongue. Fuck, no. He’s binding my jaw down so that I can’t bite down with it.

My blood lust made me stupid. And now, I’m helpless. Fuck!

The other one pulls at the chain that is attached to my collar and I stumble backwards, almost losing my balance.

“Did you think we trust you to be an empty shell?” He mocks me. “Samael has no clue how to train sex slaves. He only knows how to punish silly boys. I am not relying on that, little bitch.”

I don’t know why I am more shocked about what I learn about Samael duties than about anything else that I just heard. Maybe, I’m just denying reality, but that is crashing down on me, right this second.

Fingers sliding along the rope that is cutting into my pussy, playing around the entrance, dipping inside. I might be moist there, but that is no comparison to how wet I was when Samael touched me there.

Luckily, there is no comment about my dryness, because I might lose my shit. I don’t get the chance to fantasize about hurting them, because those fingers are shoved up my anus just a moment later.

I flinch, and want to grit my teeth, but I can’t.

“That’s why,” the brother standing in front of me states, and as if he wants to prove his point once more, he sticks his cock into my mouth, right down to my throat.

I cough, I can’t breathe. I can’t relax my throat. This is something Samael hasn’t taught me, yet.

Tears shoot up into my eyes. I can’t stop them. My eyelids are pressed shut as a reflex, but I can still feel the tears running down my cheeks. I hate it. I heave, trying to get air back into my lungs, which I’m only able to, when he pulls out again.

I look at his cock. I don’t want to see it, but it’s too late now. It looks like a blind, old, and pink snake. I start to retch. He uses the chance to prod that thing into the right tube. Apparently, he doesn’t care if I puke on his cock. I hope it’s nothing but acid.

But that reflex shuts down the second my ass is torn open, violently prodded. I whine. I don’t sound like a human. The pain is beyond anything I’ve ever felt. I tense, clench, and shake. My knees buckle, but I am held where I am by cruel hands.

The cock in my mouth twitches. The bastard loves the sound. I’ll be silent as a corpse. I have to be a corpse. I try to relax, but the pain is too horrible, I feel as if he has pushed his hands inside me to tear me in two.

“She is too dry,” Michael states the obvious.

I want to mock his intelligence, but I can’t find the words. This pain. It’s too much. Tears run down my face. I try not to taste that thing that crawls across my tongue. I think of being at the dentist. Open wide, and tongue out. Be a good girl.

As Michael pulls out, another cry breaks from me, and Gabriel’s cock twitches again.

I don’t want to think about what is happening. I don’t want to feel the shame, this disgust. I’ve been covered with worse than their hands, I’ve had viler things in my mouth. I had my grandparent’s killer up my ass. But the shame is stronger than all that. It is making my skin crawl. I want to vanish into nothing.

Gabriel continues to fuck my mouth, I don’t even notice Michael leaving or returning. I’m doing my best to think myself away, think of something else. A part of myself ushers me to replace them with Samael, just as he told me. I consider it for a second, but then I notice my body’s reaction. It’s a positive reaction.

I shake my head, I am barely able to. No, I won’t think of him. I won’t try to make this better, to make this anything else than it really is. I am being raped!

“What is that?” Gabriel asks, I only hear a mumble from far away.

“Olive oil.”

Michael pushes his finger back up my ass, and it’s slippery now, but it burns even worse. I wail, I try to breathe, I try to protest, and just then, Gabriel comes into my mouth. He pulls out and continues to spread his disgusting goo all over my face.

Lucky me. I had my eyes shut.

Again, my body tries to throw up, but can’t.

I spit out what is in my mouth, not caring about the punishment I might get, but there is none.

Michael prods his thing back inside me, and it’s moving inside me more easily. It still hurts like hell.

My body bobs back and forth thanks to him. He holds onto the rope that binds my wrists for support. I try to concentrate on the pain, not on him pushing in and pulling out. Not him ‘riding’ me. At least it’s just my ass. I’d die if he put his cock in my pussy.

I don’t know how long it takes. I just hear a loud groan and then I can feel him come inside me. Shame makes my stomach churn. I feel beyond violated. I feel tainted.

It’s such a difference to my first time. Samael felt different. Even knowing what he did, I would rather have him inside me.

I don’t notice that I have stopped crying until the tears start running again, drenching the dried cum on my face. I retch.

And the bucket with my drinking water is emptied over my head. I fall onto the hard ground, but I’m grateful for the pain that numbs out everything else. I cough. I suck in water and spit out the taste of cum that was left there, and hope that my face will be cleaned a little bit.

They both laugh. Sounding relaxed and I let myself drop on one side, rolling up into a ball. It’s a reflex.

“What next?” Gabriel asks. “We still have the rest of today and tomorrow with her until the little loser comes back.”

“We should wait for when he comes back,” I hear Michael suggest. “Father will not mind us having our way with him. We could force him to watch you use her, while I use him.”

“I like the idea,” Gabriel agrees.

I close my eyes and prevent myself from reacting in any way to what I hear. They just confirmed it. I don’t know why I didn’t believe it although it was so clear, so obvious, so undeniable. They did the same to their little brother what they just did to me.

I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to ask myself when they started with it. Or imagine a young Sam, trying to fend them off, being bound like me, and maybe even beaten. I’m sure they beat the hell out of him first and used him after. How is he even still alive?

It’s his rage. I’ve seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice. The same rage that made him kill my grandpa. Hate-fueled rage. That kind of rage that, if you lose control over it – turns you into a monster, a mindless, murderous monster.

I wish I could be that monster right now. I wish I could feel that kind of rage right now. I wish I would be filled with it, consumed by it, and feel nothing else.

 

⌽ Samael ⌽

 

I check my rearview mirror as I always do. I monitor the cars passing me by and following me as I am used to, but the feeling is not the same. This used to be a routine for me, now it feels annoying. I want to get back home.

Home. I never use that word. I call it my house, or my place, but never home, even though it once was. That’s when I realize that it is my home now, because of Anna. Loathing, hating, despising me or not, she is still there, waiting for me.

My foot hits the accelerator and I grit my teeth, clench my hands around the steering wheel and force myself to slow down. If I missed the police or the Feds they will pull me over and put me behind bars for some far-fetched reason, and I will lose two days. Two days with her.

I will need every hour, every minute, every second to make her say those three words again. I will make her drown in pleasure, discipline her, do whatever it takes until she believes it, until she feels it. I will do whatever she wants, to prove it that I love her.

I love her.

It was never the sickness my brothers have, which our father has. It was never only lust, always more.

I have never been as calm, as in the few days I had her with me, locked away in that cellar. I don’t know much about emotions. I’m not sure if that’s how it should be. I don’t know how to act accordingly, but I will make her believe it. Maybe, she can show me.

I’m nervous, anxious even. It’s because of her.

Anna will be furious at me the second she sees me, I know that. She will try to hurt me, and I will try to let her. I will wait until she is worn and tired, and then I will wait some more. I will try to be patient. That is something I am not good at, but I will have to.

I made her an animal, a rabid animal, eager to kill me, so I must to be patient and understanding. Anna might never forgive me. She doesn’t have to. She has only to accept that she’s mine, that she belongs to me.

I do something that feels odd as these thoughts are the only thing that fill my head. No chaos, no jumbled thoughts, no conflicting emotions. My mind is filled with nothing else but her. And it makes me smile.

There is another strange sensation in my chest. It’s familiar. I used to feel it when I watched Anna run around in the high grass around my house. I felt it when she beamed at me as I told her that I would help her nurse that little bird back to health, or when she smiled slightly every time I called her ‘little bird’ after that. My little bird.

I broke her wings, now I must fix them again.

 

೦ Anna ೦

 

Michael comes over to me and grabs me at my collar to sit me up. He’s not as strong as Samael. He would have put me on my feet with one arm only.

My mouth is still being held open by the rope, slowly dries and becomes sore.

I make the mistake of looking at him, and he slaps me across the face. Sam never hit me.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel asks, and for a split second I really thought he was upset at his brother for hitting me, but he’s just curious.

“I have to pee,” Michael answers dismissively and I tense like I have never tensed before.

My eyes are shut and I can’t bring them to open again, no matter how hard I try. I’m panicking. I hold my breath. I want to faint. I want to die.

“Not into her mouth,” Gabriel sounds disgruntled, “I want to fuck it again.”

“As you wish brother,” Michael sighs and I dare to hope that the sound of his fly is the sound of him zipping his pants.

But he doesn’t. A warm stream hits my chest and splatters up against my neck and chin, and all over my arms. I’m defeated. I turn my face away as far as I can and endure this debasement.

I’m trying to keep my pride, to remind myself that this will end. But my merciless mind recalls hearing them talk about setting a trap for Samael. He will be punished for killing Rowena. I guess I will be lucky if Joshua still wants me after this. After all, he will need a new Rowena. When I’m lucky, he might only want to fuck my ass and try to get me pregnant. If I am smart enough I might become as powerful as a woman can be in this church. I try to cling to that, but this is not hope, this is desperation. I don’t want to live like that.

When he’s done, I breathe through my mouth and do my best to not think about what is running down my chest. What Samael did was worse; I tell myself. It was, and still I feel more ashamed and disgusting than before.

I flinch, as Michael reaches out, but he only pats my cheek – the one he has slapped – as if I was a good pet.

“Finally, I get to do that,” he comments and turns away. “Let’s see what kind of toys little loser has laying around.”

I try not to draw their attention and stay still. I’ve seen the injuries on Samael’s back. I know that thing is lying around here somewhere and it’s going to hurt more than a belt. But then again, nothing will hurt as much as my anus being torn open.

Fortunately, Michael’s cock is smaller.

Gabriel moves, too, as his brother leaves, and I care to watch him, although I can’t look through my hair anymore as it clings to my face. He walks up the stairs after his brother, but his steps sound like he knows what he is looking for. I won’t be able to free myself and flee in that time. And the punishment will be cruel. So, I don’t even try.

Gabriel returns only a few moments later and I don’t need to look at him to know what he brought with him. A hard stream of water hits my side and makes me topple over. He aims for my exposed pussy and it hurts, burns, as if he’s using a flamethrower and not a water hose. I can hear him chuckle over the sound of the water hitting me.

Then he walks around and hoses off my chest. At least he is cleaning me, but that also means he doesn’t plan on only using my mouth.

He switches off the hose, walks towards me, and kneels beside me.

“I will force you to come, little sister,” he brushes my wet hair out of my face. “Because I can do better than Samael. He had only your mother to practice on, and I had so many more.”

As if to prove his point he reaches for the rope and pulls on it, making it rub and press against my clit. It only stings and hurts.

I glare at him, since I can’t tell him what I want to.

He reads my expression correctly, probably because, over time, he has learned to, and undoes the knot that holds my mouth open.

I don’t thank him, but he lets it slide; he is too curious about what I want to tell him. I can see that on his face.

“You might be able to do that, brother,” I spit the title out as if it’s an insult. “But you won’t be able to do it like Samael did.”

“Why is that, oh dare say,” he inquires, amusedly.

“He made me enjoy it,” I answer, dead-serious.

The smug expression on his face is replaced by a darker one, but even now he can’t top his little half-brother.

“That’s why you like little girls, right?” My mouth has a will on its own – it knows I have a death-wish. “Because you can’t make any real woman enjoy it. The wrong brother is being called loser here.”

Gabriel can’t slap me because I am lying on the ground, because of that, he grabs the rope and pulls me on my knees, and then, he slaps me.

I start laughing. I can’t stop myself. I laugh aloud, knowing that Michael will hear it through the open door.

“You can’t even hit a woman properly!” My laugh turns hysterical.

I have trouble inhaling, but I don’t care.

“Stop,” he orders me, but that just makes it worse, with every time he helplessly repeats himself. “Stop.”

I snort, I cough, and I cry tears of laughter. And I topple over again. My body hurts, it hurts so good.

My cackle is shaking my body so hard that I don’t even hear Michael return. His demanding words are only a mumble in the background: “What the heck is going on?”

It only makes me continue laughing. I desperately catch air, just to tell him. “It’s HELL, what the HELL is going on!”

I’m imagining them both flinching at the unholy word, and my body bucks as if I am possessed. I imagine because I can’t see a thing through my tears. Maybe, they believe that I am possessed, should I continue like this. When they just believe a fragment of the idiotic shit their father is preaching, they might.

“Good gracious, Gabe,” I hear Michael curse and then, I see stars.

The pain waits two heart beats and comes crashing through my body from the point of impact, which is my tailbone. I hold my breath in reflex, and my cackle is gone. I don’t dare to move, or breathe in any other way but shallowly. Something broke, and it wasn’t the bone. The pain is seeping through my body like lethal poison, leaving nothing but dead tissue in its wake.

 

⌽ Samael ⌽

 

It will be dark, when I get there. Even if I speed up now. There are fewer and fewer cars out there and I didn’t have a vehicle following me for more than ten minutes.

Still, I don’t know if I can risk it. I just can’t risk ending up in jail. It’s not only about not having a car behind me. Those cops like to stand at the side of the street, lights off and all, there is no way for me to spot them in time.

I take a deep breath to calm myself down. I need to distract myself. So, I turn on the music, something I never do, simply because usually, I don’t want to get my mind off things. I switch through several channels until I hear a song that sounds good. It still makes me think about Anna, and about the future. That is also something I do not do. But it makes me feel calm.

 

೦ Anna ೦

 

“Do you really want to use that thing on her?” I hear Gabriel ask, sounding a bit unsettled.

I can’t tell if it’s because of what Michael brought with him, or from me hurting his pride. I hope it’s the latter. I hope I have a little more time to recover.

They are silent now, probably inspecting what the elder brother has found. I try to listen, hoping that I might hear a sound that helps me identify the thing. But then again, it doesn’t make any difference.

“Apart from this Samael only has whips, and we cannot use them on her because it will break her skin,” Michael explains; they both turn around to me. “Look at her, she already has red streaks, it will only make it worse.”

“You are right,” Gabriel agrees.

“I know I am,” Michael gives back and, despite it all, it makes me smile, because he is hitting the same nerve I struck with laughing at him.

“Give me that,” the younger brother demands.

“Patience, brother,” Michael stops him, “look, what I also found. But that on her.”

There is silence, but I can feel them grin. It makes me shudder. I hear noises now, clanking, but I have no idea what it is, until Gabriel grabs me by the hair and forces me to kneel again. And then, he shoves a metal rod into my mouth. It’s a bridle.