Emberleigh
I SLOW TO A STOP IN THE driveway and turn off my car. Pulling the key from the ignition, I swing the door open and climb out. I smile and my heart jumps at the little girl laughter I hear from inside the house. It’s one of my favorite sounds, one I’ll never get tired of hearing.
When I walk inside, I almost get trampled by a small figure, and catch Avery as she barrels into me.
“Save me, Em!” She screeches with laughter. “He’s going to get me!”
She scrambles behind me, clutching my shirt as she peeks around my side. Laughing, I look up just in time to see my dad coming around the corner, hands outstretched and wiggling his fingers. I know what’s coming next.
His eyes lift to mine, showing his attention has shifted from Avery to me.
“Oh, no, no, no.” I point my finger at him and narrow my eyes.
He grins, causing his eyes to crinkle at the corners. He takes a step forward.
“You stay right over there, buster,” I warn him. “I’m too old to be tickled.”
Just the thought of being tickled has my ribs already hurting.
“You’re never too old to be tickled.” His eyes move to Avery behind me and he wiggles his eyebrows. “Right, Avey?”
She giggles and jumps around, jostling me along with her. “Nope!”
I gasp in shock and turn to face her. “You traitor!”
I realize my mistake immediately when she screams, then starts laughing. I try to turn in time to stop him, but strong arms wrap around me from behind, effectively holding me immobile.
“Get her, Avey!” Dad’s voice yells.
Giggling, Avery starts tickling my ribs. I move from side to side, laughing and yelling at the same time, trying my best to get away but making sure to keep my feet on the floor so I don’t accidentally kick her. Dad laughs in my ear while Avery tortures my poor ribs, her sweet giggles filling my ears, making the painful encounter worth it. Tickling was always a big thing in our house when I was younger. You’d think I’d be immune to it by now, but nope. If anything, I think I’ve become more ticklish over the years.
A loud clap is heard over the laughing and yelling before Mom’s voice cracks across the room.
“All right, you three, enough of that racket. It’s dinnertime.”
I silently thank mom as dad kisses my cheek with a chuckle, then lets me go to go to the kitchen. I look down at Avery. “I’m gonna get you back for that,” I tell her with laughter in my eyes. “Us girls are supposed to stick together.”
She skips as we walk toward the kitchen. “If he was tickling you, that meant he wasn’t tickling me.”
I laugh. I can’t really fault her for that way of thinking.
A delicious smell hits my nose when we enter the kitchen. Mom is setting a bowl on the table, and I walk over to the counter that holds a couple more dishes that need to be moved. Picking up a basket of rolls, I bring it to the table and take a seat.
“This smells great, Mom.”
She smiles and pats my hand. “Thank you, sweetie.”
I scoop some potatoes on my plate, then Avery’s, then pass the bowl to Dad.
“Are you all packed and ready for tonight?” I ask Avery as I take the bowl of broccoli from Mom.
Her nose wrinkles when I place a spoonful on her plate. She grabs for the ranch dressing Mom put on the table just for her, and she squirts some on. She’s the only person I’ve ever seen eat ranch with cooked broccoli. She says it helps mask the nasty taste. Whatever it takes to get her to eat her vegetables is fine with me.
“Do you know what movie you want to watch yet?”
Thursdays are my and Avery’s day. Sometimes I take her out to eat and we go back to my house where we spend the rest of the day watching movies. Sometimes we eat here and then go back to my house. I love Thursdays because I get her all to myself. Even if she doesn’t know it, I get to play mom on those days.
“Something scary,” she answers, not surprising me in the least. She’s always loved scary movies.
“We’ll see what Hulu has for us.”
“Okay,” she says through a mouthful of chicken.
“I ran into Jessika the other day at the grocery store,” Mom remarks halfway through dinner.
“Oh?” I ask, sensing there’s more.
“Her new guy friend seems like a good guy. Handsome too.”
“Hey,” Dad grumbles.
Mom pats his hand. “It’s okay, honey. You’re much more handsome than he is.”
“Remember that,” he mutters, earning a laugh from Mom.
Picking up her glass of tea, she eyes me over the rim before taking a sip, then putting it down.
“She said you’ve been seeing someone.”
I refrain from rolling my eyes, but don’t manage to keep my teeth from grinding together. Damn Jessika and her loose tongue. When I told her about my encounters with Nathan a few days ago on one of our lunch dates, I didn’t expect her to blab to my mom. Obviously I should have, though.
“It’s nothing serious, Mom.” I repeat what I told her the other day. I break off a piece of my roll and stuff it in my mouth.
“Maybe, maybe not, but it’s nice to know you’re seeing someone.”
“I wouldn’t really call it seeing someone.” My eyes go to Avery to find her making designs with her macaroni. I look at Dad, then back to Mom. “We’re just… hanging out.”
My choice of words is laughable and so inadequate, but it’s the best I can do. Even if little ears weren’t present, it would still be too weird to explain exactly what Nathan and I were doing. I don’t even really know. All I do know is that whatever it is feels so damn good, and I don’t want it to stop yet.
“Is it the same man as the other day?”
I scoop the last of my chicken in my mouth and don’t answer until I’ve swallowed.
“Yes.”
She nods, her eyes lighting up, but luckily doesn’t quiz me further. We make small talk until we’re all finished. My parents were never the type to make everyone stay quiet at the table. Growing up, dinner was the time we all told each other about our day, and it hasn’t changed. Dinner was always my favorite time of day because we were all together.
After, I help Mom clean up while Avery grabs her things from her room and my dad throws wood in the fireplace. As much as my parents love Avery and think of her as their daughter, I know they enjoy the one night a week that she’s with me.
Hugs and kisses are exchanged, and Avery and I leave. We stop by a small ice cream shop on the way home, opting to eat it in the car since there’s a cool breeze blowing and sitting outside would be too cold. My apartment is about thirty minutes away from my parents’, so by the time we get there the sun is already setting.
“Why don’t you grab a shower while I grab the blankets and pillows,” I suggest to Avery.
“Okay.” I smile as she skips off with her bag in her hand.
Walking over to the windows, I gaze out into the night for a moment before I pull the curtains closed, then go to the kitchen and grab out a couple water bottles. Setting them down on the coffee table, I go to the closet in the hallway and pull out a couple blankets and pillows.
As I’m throwing them on the couch, my phone dings in my purse. I grab it and look at the screen. My lower stomach flutters when I see Nathan’s name. I swipe the screen to pull up his message.
Nathan: I wanna see you before Saturday.
A smile plays on my lips. Sitting down, I reply.
Me: Can’t. Tonight is movie night and tomorrow I won’t be home.
Nathan: Movie night?
I look toward the hallway when the shower turns off. Avery will be coming out soon, and I really don’t want her to question who I’m texting.
Me: With my sister. We do a movie night every Thursday. Tonight, we’re going scary.
The little dots move, stop, move again, then stop. I wait on his reply, but before it comes, Avery walks into the living room, dressed in a pair of warm flannel pants, a big hoodie, and cute zombie slippers. Water drips from her sandy-blonde hair onto her shoulders.
I set my phone down, scoot back, and pat the cushion between my legs. Walking over, she hands me the brush she’s carrying and takes a seat.
“How do you want it tonight?” I ask.
“A French braid, please. I want it to be curly tomorrow.”
Smiling, I run the brush through her hair. “You got it. Grab the remote and start browsing movies.”
While she does that, I start on her hair. Sitting here like this, I feel like a real mom. I love Avery so much my heart hurts with it. I want her as my own. I want her to know me as her mom. But I worry what it’ll do to her when she finally knows what I did. Will she hate me? Feel betrayed and unwanted? Will she be okay knowing she came from me? What will she think of me when she finds out how she was conceived and how I neglected her like I did?
Mom’s told me several times that it’s up to me when Avery finds out the truth. When she was born, I still wasn’t in a good place in life, so Mom and Dad took care of her. I felt it would be easier on Avery, less confusing, if she thought they were her parents. Mom insists that Avery belongs with me, that she’s only taking my place for the time being, until I’m ready. I’m ready now, have been for years, but I’m scared too much time has passed.
“What about The Shining?” Avery asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Are you sure? We’ve seen it about ten times already.”
Her little legs bounce against the couch, causing her whole body to bounce. “I know, but it’s one of my favorites.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want to watch.” I slip the band from the end of the brush and tie off her hair, then give it a tug. “I’m finished here. I’m going to grab a quick shower. Why don’t you grab your Kindle and read while you wait?”
She jumps from the couch and takes off to the room I have for her here. I laugh when her slippers skid on the floor and she has to catch herself on the doorway so she doesn’t fall. “Slow down, little lady,” I yell after her.
Getting up from the couch, I check the door to make sure it’s locked before going to my room. Hearing little patters of feet on the floor, I know Avery is back in the living room, probably with a blanket wrapped around her and her Kindle in her lap. She may be only eight, but she’s smart. And she loves to read.
I leave the bathroom door open as I get undressed, so I can hear if she needs me. She’s a good kid with a level head, but I still never leave her alone for long periods of time. I’m terrified something will happen to her, which I guess is normal for parents, especially with their first child.
Less than ten minutes later, I’m stepping out of the shower with a towel wrapped around me. I tilt my head to the side when I hear Avery’s voice, then another low-pitched voice. Worry has my stomach clenching, and I rush from the bathroom. I find Avery standing at the closed front door, talking through it to someone.
“Avery Renee,” I scold as I walk briskly over to her. “What are you doing?” I clutch my chest over my racing heart.
“I wasn’t going to open it, Em. There was a knock, and I asked who it was. That’s all. I promise.” She looks up at me with pleading eyes.
I bend down so I’m more on her level and place a hand on her shoulder. I try to keep my voice calm in light of the situation.
“You still don’t talk to people through the door. You ignore it and come get me. Okay?”
She bites her lip worriedly and nods. “Okay.”
I pull her forward by her shoulder and kiss her forehead. Standing back up, I look through the peephole, then just barely refrain from squeaking in surprise. He’s the last person I expected to see on the other side of the door.
I take a minute to pull in a deep breath, then make sure the towel is securely tucked around me before unlatching the dead bolt and pulling the door open.
The smile he gives me has my heart hiccoughing in my chest.
“What are you doing here, Nathan?”