Emberleigh
I WAKE WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE and my body pleasantly sore. Turning to the side, I hug my pillow to my chest and think about my mystery man. He’s not so much a mystery anymore. Well, he is, but there are things I definitely know about him now that I didn’t before. Like what he smells like, the color of his eyes—green—how his rough hands feel against me, the taste of his tongue, what his dick feels like sliding in and out of me.
The last thought brings tingles between my legs. I rub them together and release a small moan.
After calling Jessika and practically begging her to call her friend Tera to somehow get me into Blackie’s, I showed up with the hope of seeing him again. I had been there about thirty minutes when all the water I had consumed that day suddenly hit me. When I left the bathroom and saw him standing there, I was shocked, then hit with an explosive thrill. And to top it off, he was so much… more up close.
I was hoping he would ask me back to his place after fucking my brains out in the storage room, but he ended up getting a phone call and had to leave. Some work-related emergency, he’d said. Instead, he walked me to my car, took my phone and put his number in it, then completely consumed my mouth, and left me aching. With a promise to call me soon, he pushed me in my car, closed my door, and watched as I pulled out of the parking lot. The whole trip back to my apartment, I was in a daze. A sexual daze caused by someone I knew only in the physical sense.
I should be ashamed for letting myself be swept up by some stranger I really didn’t know anything about. I didn’t though. Except for a period of bad judgement when I was a teenager, I was always the good girl. The one who always made good grades, never skipped school, never let peer pressure sway me away from the right path. I dated, but they were the good-boy-next-door types.
I want Nathan, and I want him bad. Something about him calls to me, and I’m going to answer that call. At least for the time being. I know nothing permanent will come of it. I don’t have time for permanent, and to be honest, men like Nathan only do temporary anyway, so it works out.
My cell phone on the nightstand rings, and I reach over and pick it up. Seeing Mom’s name across the screen, I swipe to accept it.
“Hey, Mom. How’s Hawaii?”
I sit up in bed and lean back against the headboard.
“It’s beautiful, Em,” she says, and I hear the smile in her voice. “We wish you were here.”
“Me too.” I was invited to go along on their vacation. I wanted to so much, but I had a big exam at school that I couldn’t miss. “But I promise to be on the next vacation.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
I pick at the covers over my legs. “How’s Avery?”
That’s one of the things I miss the most about not going with them to Hawaii; spending time with Avery.
“She’s good. She’s had a smile on her face since we’ve been here.” She laughs. “You should have seen her face when they gave her a lei when we first got here. She hasn’t taken it off since, except to sleep, shower, and swim.”
A pang hits my chest, and I draw my knees up to hug them. What I wouldn’t give to be there right now witnessing her excitement.
“Please make sure you get plenty of pictures,” I tell Mom croakily.
“Oh, sweetie, you know I will,” she reassures me, a hint of sadness in her voice. She knows how hard this is on me.
I sniff and push away the threatening tears. I don’t want to dampen their time away.
“So, tell me your plans for the day,” I ask, forcing cheeriness in my voice. I pull the phone away from my ear and look at the time. “And why are you up so early? Isn’t it like four thirty in the morning there?”
“We’re still on eastern time. I woke up at four and couldn’t get back to sleep.” There’s a shuffling sound, then murmurs before Mom speaks again. “We’re going to do some shopping today, and later scuba dive.”
I smile. “That sounds like fun.” There’re more quietly spoken words on her end. “Is that Avery?”
“Yeah. She was just saying she wanted to talk to you.”
A moment later, Avery’s high-pitched girly voice comes over the phone.
“Hey, Em! I got you a pretty lei and we’re going shopping today! I told Mom I wanted to bring you home a bunch of gifts since you couldn’t come with us! And later today we’re going to scuba dive and look at all the coral! We saw fireworks last night! They were so pretty and big! I tried to take some pictures of them for you, but they came out all fuzzy!”
I laugh at her excited chatter. Avery, eight years old and so full of life. She’s also very lucky to be here. If it weren’t for my parents and Jessika, she wouldn’t be. Guilt, shame, and remorse mingle with a love so astounding that it fills my heart to bursting.
To Avery, I’m Em, her big sister, but to me, Avery’s my beloved daughter. A daughter I nearly lost because of my own stupid selfishness. Every single day, I thank God that he spared her, and that my parents were there to care for her when I couldn’t. I’m not sure if she’ll ever know me as her mom, and while that hurts, I will gladly give up my role as parent and be the best big sister a girl could have if that means she’s safe and healthy. I don’t deserve anything more than that.
“Sounds like you’re having a great time, sweetie.”
I lay my head on my raised knees and close my eyes.
“It would be so much better if you were here,” she says, breaking my heart straight down the middle.
I have to clear my throat before I speak. “I’ll be at the next family vacation, and when you come back, you can show me all the pictures you take.”
She goes on to gush about all the pretty flowers she’s seen, how the water is so clear she can see her feet when she’s swimming, how good the food is, and how nice the people are. Even though it’s only been three days since I’ve seen her, it still makes me wish I could reach through the phone and squeeze her small body in my arms.
After several more minutes of talking to Avery, Mom gets back on the phone. I blow out a shaky breath.
“Call me tomorrow and tell me how today goes. I want to hear all about it.”
“Will do. You have your exam today, don’t you?” she asks.
“Yeah. It’s the only class I have today, thank goodness.”
“You’re going to ace it, I just know it.”
Laughing, I toss the covers off me and throw my feet over the side. “Thanks for the confidence. I wish I had as much as you.”
“You’re so smart, Em, and I’m so proud of you. Both me and your dad are.”
I look down at my feet and wiggle my toes into the carpet. “Thanks, Mom,” I tell her, my throat suddenly feeling like there’s a lump in it. “I’ve got to go. I have class in an hour.”
“Okay, sweetie. Good luck, and I want to know how it went when I call tomorrow.”
After saying goodbye, I toss my phone on the bed and get up to go to the bathroom. I jump in the shower, then brush my teeth and apply a light layer of makeup. Once I have my travel mug full of blissful coffee, I grab it, my purse, my book bag, and my keys.
On my way to campus, I think about Nathan and wonder when he’ll call me. If he’ll call me, I amend. I hope like hell he does, because I’m not through with whatever we started two nights ago when I danced for him. And last night made me want him even more. The way he made my body feel was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It was electrifying and intense. I’ve had a couple sexual relationships, but I’ve never had a man look at me the way he did. It was as if nothing else in the world mattered to him in that moment except me giving myself pleasure. Every part of him was focused on me. Not just what my fingers were doing to my pussy, but my face. He liked looking at my expression with each new feeling I experienced.
A horn blares behind me, and I realize while I’ve been daydreaming the light has turned green. Even though there’s no one around to see it, heat creeps up my neck and into my cheeks. I drive the rest of the way trying my best to concentrate on my exam that’s coming up and not the man who’s rocked my world.
Microbiology. My least favorite class and the one I struggle in the most. Not because I don’t understand the material, but because the professor is a hard-ass. While I respect him, I still want to shove my shoe up his ass when I’m up at two o’clock in the morning finishing an assignment I’ve already spent numerous hours on. Luckily, I’ve taken summer courses the last two years so I only have four classes this semester. This is my last year, and I couldn’t be more excited to earn my degree and put it to use.
I do clinicals three days a week, and it’s those days that I enjoy the most. Dr. Morrow was my mom’s obstetrician, so I’ve known him literally since the day I was born. He was also mine with Avery. He’s old and grandfatherly, and I love working with him. But it’s the patients I enjoy the most. Seeing each woman come in every month, their stomach bigger than the last time I saw them. The look on their faces each time we listen to their little baby’s heartbeat. The joy of announcing what sex they’ll have. There’s no better feeling than knowing I was part of the team who helped keep their baby safe in the mother’s womb.
I pull into the lot, park, grab my things, and climb from the car. Nerves have my hands fumbling with my keys, and they fall to the ground. With a huff, I bend and pick them up, giving myself a mental kick in the ass as I do so. This degree is so important. Not only to me, but to my parents and Avery, even if she doesn’t know it. I need this to prove to myself and them that I’m more than what I used to be. I’ve come a long way from where I was when Avery was conceived and born, but I want to be better. For me and my parents, but especially for Avery.
With my bag and purse slung over my shoulder, my back straight, head held high, and with a renewed confidence, I march across campus, ready and determined to ace the exam.
***
I LEAVE PROFESSOR WILKENS’ classroom and immediately dig my phone out of my purse. I look around and make sure no one is around who can look over my shoulder. A smile breaks across my face and warmth rushes between my legs as I reread the text message Nathan sent right as I was taking my seat. The professor came into the room and demanded attention before I got a chance to text him back.
Nathan: I slept with your panties on my pillow so I would smell you all night.
I shoulder my way out of the doors, my fingers flying over the screen as I reply.
Me: I don’t know if that’s creepy or a turn on.
As soon as I hit Send, the word seen appears at the bottom on the screen, then a second later, the little dots start to jump. It’s only a minute before his reply appears, but before I get a chance to look, my name is called.
“Emberleigh! Wait up!”
I look up from my phone and barely stop a groan as Jacob Bennigan jogs my way. He’s a sweet guy, smart, funny, good-looking, and very persistent. He asks me out every other week, and every other week, I decline. He’s all those things, which you would think would make a pretty good package, but he’s also still very much in his party boy stage. Everyone knows the shit that can happen at college parties. A shudder sweeps through me at the memories that surface. I already went through that stage in life, and I have no desire to repeat it.
“Hey, Jacob.” I turn from him to my car door, hoping he’ll get the hint and move on. I hate to be rude, but I’m running out of excuses to refuse his offer to take me out.
His huffing alerts me that my attempt to ignore him has failed. Once I unlock my car, I turn to him.
His eyes, which I know were firmly planted on my ass, lift to mine. At least he has the decency to look apologetic at being caught.
“You have plans this weekend?” he asks, giving me a grin I know works on a lot of girls. Fortunately, it doesn’t do anything for me.
I don’t have plans, but I’m not telling him that.
“I do, actually.” At his crestfallen look, I add, “I’m sorry.”
He recovers quickly and flashes me a smile. “No worries. But one of these days you’re going to say yes to me.”
I smile. Although it may be annoying, him asking me so much, he’s never offended by my rejections. I think it’s more of a game to him by now, which is fine because I’m never going to accept.
Instead of saying that, I respond with, “Maybe.”
He winks before walking off, and I blow out a breath. A second later, I’m opening my car door and climbing inside, impatient to get back to my conversation with Nathan.
Nathan: It should definitely be a turn-on. I woke up this morning with them in my hand. Can you guess what I did with them?
Warmth spreads up my legs, sending tingles between them.
Me: I could guess, but I think I’d like it better if you told me.
Nathan: I wrapped them around my cock and stroked myself to the image of you plunging your fingers in your greedy pussy.
My head tips back against my seat as an image of him jacking off in my panties comes to mind. My nipples tingle and wetness floods my panties, causing me to squirm in my seat.
Before I get a chance to respond, my phone dings with another message.
Nathan: Meet me tonight.
I lift my head and look out the window. Several students walk by, their arms full of books, laughing with their friends. There are people out on the lawn sitting under trees, enjoying the sunshine. Some stand by their cars, doors open with music playing.
I drop my eyes back to the phone and contemplate Nathan’s question. I want to meet him again so badly. My body longs for more of what he can give it, but my mind tells me to be leery. I know I should do the smart thing—after all, I know virtually nothing about him—but my body’s craving wins out. When Avery and my parents get back in a few days, I’ll be responsible again. Until then, I’m going to enjoy Nathan.
Me: When and where?
His reply is immediate, like he already knew what my answer would be.
Nathan: 9 at Blackie’s.
Blowing out a breath, I tell him I’ll be there. A flutter of excitement goes through me, and I can’t help the big grin that takes over my face. I look at the time on my phone. Six hours.
I shove the key in the ignition, start my car, and pull out of the parking lot, anticipation coursing through my veins the whole way home.