Trent
“Parker tells me you’re moving out.”
Geez, one more unwanted intervention. This day has been difficult to say the least. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not have this conversation right now.”
Porter sits on my couch, making himself comfortable. “I do mind. She’s my sister. I’m worried about her.”
I laugh internally. If only he knew that he was also my brother. “I’m worried about her too. Just because it hasn’t worked out for us doesn’t mean I don’t still care about her. She’s the mother of my children. I will always have a special place for her in my heart.”
“Is there someone else? Are you cheating on her?”
“Why would you ask that?”
He crosses his legs and a smug look appears on his face. “I’m just trying to figure it out. You two have known each other all your lives. It’s a match made in heaven. Not to mention Parker is pretty easy on the eyes. No guy in their right mind would give up a woman like her.”
“In an effort to preserve our friendship, I’m going to ask that we talk about something else.”
“Fine. How’s your mom handling your father’s death?”
“She’s not. She has no idea he’s dead.”
Porter leans forward. “Why is that?”
I heed my father’s warning and go on with the lie. “I haven’t been able to get a hold of her. She’s not answering her cell phone and I have no idea what boat she’s on. It’s a mess, really, but I’m going to have the funeral anyway. We can have a family thing when she gets back. I don’t know what else to do.”
“That’s a hard one, man. I don’t know what to say.”
“I think I’m going to take some time off. I’ve got a lot of crap going on and I need some time to process things. I’m postponing various court dates and talking to my existing clients. I won’t be accepting any new business for a while.”
“Are you sure you’re ready to make such a big decision as ending your marriage? There seems to be a lot going on in your head right now. Maybe you two just need to spend some alone time together. Go away on a trip or something.”
I’m confused about his sudden interest in my life. He hasn’t given two shits in the longest time. So why does he care now?
“What’s up man? You’re hot and cold. Some days you’re my friend and seem like you give a damn and other days we’re colleagues that barely know each other. What’s going on with you?”
“I’m fine. You know…living the dream. Like you, I’ve been busy. No worries. We’re still buds. Anyway, enjoy your time off.” Porter leaves my office.
There is definitely something different about him. Maybe my dad’s right. Perhaps he is in on whatever is going on between our fathers.
I pack up my things to leave for the day. I’ve had enough crap and just want to go home, have a beer, and watch some television. I’d like to get my mind off anything and everything in my life. I want to feel normal again.
I race out of the parking lot onto the street. I’m not a mile away from the office when the burner phone rings. I pick it up eagerly. It’s been a few days since I have spoken with my father and I still have so many questions.
“What’s up, Dad?”
“Where are you going?”
I look out the windows and in the mirrors trying to figure out how he knows I’m going anywhere. “Where are you?”
“I’m a few cars back. I’m trying to make sure you’re not being followed.”
Completely annoyed by my dad’s paranoia, I ask, “Why would I be followed and who would do it?”
“Edward would. And he’s bugged your office. He’s going to try and destroy you and probably your boys too.”
“Why, Dad? Don’t you think this is odd? Why would he go after his own grandchildren?”
“Because he’s sick in the head. He snapped when he found out about Porter.”
“Why would he bug my office?”
“Because he’s trying to catch you with that little girlfriend of yours. Do you know what will happen to you if he gets proof? You’ll lose everything—your business, family, and money. Not to mention it would drag our family name through the mud. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but you need to stay away from her until she’s of legal age.”
“Fuck!” I slam my fist against the steering wheel.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you need to stay with Parker right now. Find a way to get sole custody of those kids.”
“Dad, I can’t do that. It would break Parker’s heart. She loves them more than anything.”
“What about you? Do you love them more than anything or are you willing to sacrifice them for the underage young lady you’ve been messing around with? Trust me, Trent. Do what’s best for them.”
“What about Mom? I can only keep up the lie for so long that she’s on the boat. What do I tell people? Where is she?”
“I’m right here, dear. Please listen to your father. He knows what’s best.”
I get a little emotional when I hear her voice. Jonathon said she was okay, but until now, I don’t think I actually believed it.
“Mom, are you okay? Where have you been?”
“I’ve been with your father. He’s taking care of me. Now son, don’t you leave those grandbabies of mine. As a parent it is your responsibility to put their needs above all others. Make sure you do that.”
There is no way I could do that to Parker. She loves our boys and would never do anything to hurt them. Maybe it’s not working out between us, but she would never take them away from me.
“Neither of you answered my question. What do I say about Mom?”
“Just say you were notified by the cruise line that she went missing. You don’t need to give any more information. Son, we’ve got to go. We’ll be in touch. And watch your back.” The line goes dead.
I’m more puzzled now than ever by what’s going on.
I’m distracted from driving by the screen on my phone lighting up. The motion sensors in my home office have been tripped. I pull over to the side of the road to log into the cameras. Sure enough, Parker is standing there looking around the room. She has something in her hand, but I can’t tell what it is.
I pull back on the road and hightail it home. Something isn’t right. I can feel it in my gut. God damn. Life shouldn’t be this complicated. I’m a Davis. Things just naturally go right for us. Right now, my world is spinning. I don’t know which way is up. I’m torn between what I want to do and what I should do.
I pull into the driveway and make a beeline to my office. Parker isn’t in there and I don’t bother to call out for her. I sit down to review the video footage. She looks nervous as she enters, standing in the middle of the room staring at the objects in her hand. I zoom the picture to find tiny metal objects. I still can’t tell what they are. She closes her hand and walks around the office looking at all the pictures one by one before throwing the objects in the trash and leaving.
I walk over to the bin and remove the objects. Tiny little speakers. She was going to bug my office. I guess I’m happy she changed her mind, although I’m still disturbed that she would consider it. Wait. She was with Porter this afternoon. What the hell? Maybe my father isn’t the paranoid lunatic I thought he was. Maybe there is some weird revenge scheme. Why would Parker be a part of it? I pour a small glass of scotch and drop the objects into it before sitting down to contemplate my next move. Do I pretend I don’t know anything or should I confront Parker? All I know is I don’t want to be in this web of lies anymore. I’d like to get everything out in the open.
I sigh. If only it were that easy.
I contemplate my options as I stare into the amber liquid that reminds me of Beth’s eyes. I came home from the Caymans ready to leave Parker and start a life with Beth. Now all of that is up in the air. I’m not sure if I can call or talk to Beth. Who knows if there are cameras watching me? Or if my cell phone is being monitored? I have no idea. Paranoia is now taking over my thoughts much like it is with my father. Now I have a better understanding of how he got to where he is.
I lean back in the chair and place my feet on the desk. How has my life made a turn in this direction? I’m partially responsible; I’ve made choices that put me in this position. I’m the one who chose to give in to my desires for Beth. Instead of it being a simple act of infidelity, I’m now part of some conspiracy theory.
I take the last sip of scotch and put the glass down as Parker saunters into my office. She’s wearing some lingerie I’ve never seen before. I’ll admit, she looks sexy as hell, but I’m just not interested anymore. My desire for her has fallen by the wayside. When I look at Parker, I see Beth in that outfit and I want to caress every inch of her body.
“Are you okay?” Parker asks.
“What are these?” I push the glass containing the microphones and the liquid that has made them nonfunctional.
She peers into the glass. Surprisingly, she holds a straight face. “I don’t know.”
“According to my video cameras, you came in here with these not too long ago. My guess is you were going to bug my office. But my question is, why? Why would you want to do that to me?”
Parker stands in front of me, unable to speak. “Come on, Parker. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on here.”
She fidgets in place for a few moments. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? You’re the one who came in here with these. Surely you have some sort of idea where they came from.” I pour another scotch. “My father. He asked me to put them in here.”
“Why?”
Parker’s expression is pained. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s caught or something else.
“I don’t know. He’s been acting weird. I agreed to do it, but when I got in here, I couldn’t betray you. You’re my husband and I love you. You’ve got to believe me.”
“You know more than you’re telling me. What else are you hiding?” I don’t know if this is true, but if I’m going to pull information out of her, this might work.
“I don’t. Porter knows about it too, but I don’t know how involved he is. Honestly, I don’t have any idea why they would want to know what you’re doing in here.”
I slam my fist down on the desk. “Why would you agree to it in the first place? You’re my wife! How could you go against me and agree to invade my personal space?”
Tears spring to Parker’s eyes. “Because I thought you might be having an affair and I wanted to know for sure.”
I lean back in my chair and try to slow my heartbeat as the truth settles in. My wife suspects I’m having an affair. She knows I’m cheating on her.
Fuck.
As much as I’ve tried to be discreet, she figured it out. And why wouldn’t she? Parker knows me better than anyone else in this world.
“Please tell me you’re not. Please tell me you love our family and would never do anything like that to destroy it,” Parker sobs.
My heart wrenches inside my chest as the impact of the devastation I’m causing settles in. Never mind the lies that have gone on between us. I’m essentially destroying the one person I’ve devoted my life to. The one person who has committed to loving me unconditionally. Her heart is breaking before my eyes, and I’m the bastard who’s done it.
I stand up and put my arms around her. She buries her head in my chest and weeps. I don’t answer, but try to give her the support of my warm embrace. To let her know that I do still care about her. I started down a road with Beth, but now…I don’t know. I love both of these women and for very different reasons. Beth makes me feel like a man. I am strong and virile in her eyes. I have no flaws as far as she’s concerned. Yet Parker has stood by my side for years, is the mother of my children, and until recently has been a great wife and companion. Still, there has never been that spark there. I love her, but have I ever been in love with Parker?
Parker pulls her head from my chest. “Please tell me you’re not having an affair.”
“Of course not,” I respond without hesitation.
“Then why do you want a divorce?”
“Because there’s nothing between us anymore, Parker. We’re friends, and that’s about it. We’ve been friends are entire lives and we can continue to be so. But I need more. I need to feel wanted and desired. I need to feel like I matter to someone. We haven’t had that for a while. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll probably agree that you’re not in love with me.”
“That’s not true! You’re my world.”
“Am I? Or have we been together for so long that it only seems that way?”
“No! You’re my world, Trent. You’re the only one I want to be with. Let me show you how important you are to me.” Parker kisses my neck.
I fight back the desire to push her away for fear I would destroy her. I want to be in love with her, but we’re too far past that. Who I want is Beth.
Parker works up my neck and breathes lightly into my ear. It sends goosebumps down my spine and awakes my cock from the slumber it’s been in since I got back from the Caymans.
I stand there motionless with thoughts conflicting in my head. Should I or not? I’m a man with needs. This is my wife. The wife who hasn’t wanted to have sex with me in over a year. We used to have good sex and then it dwindled to nothing. Maybe just maybe, this is what we need to rekindle our relationship. Maybe I shouldn’t give up so quickly on us.
For the first time since Parker walked in the room, I notice what she’s wearing. A black lacy negligée. It’s simple but sexy, provocative but not slutty. It shows off Parker’s best features but leaves some to the imagination. God, the woman can be such a turn on when she wants to be.
She moves to my other ear, and the beast in my pants has completely awoken. Parker rubs him, pulling him from his cave. I can’t believe that even after not having sex with me for so long she still remembers the way I like to be touched. It’s as if no time has passed since the last time we were together.
Parker unbuttons my pants and gets down on her knees, ready to take me in. She bats her blue eyes at me, all the while trying to lure me under her spell. I try to fight the temptation. I want to pull away, but I have no willpower. I’m nothing but a weak man who either can’t or won’t fight the building desire.
What the hell am I doing? I pull up my pants, close the zipper, and back away. “Parker, I can’t do this.”
She sits back on her knees and stares at me in disbelief.
I take another sip of the scotch. My lifeline, my savior in times of desperation. Beth’s face flashes in my mind like a Las Vegas billboard. Lights, nudity, and desire.
You need to stay with Parker right now.
My dad’s words pop in my head as I glance back at my beautiful wife who is looking at me for guidance. I have never turned her away. Never.
I hate this internal angst. Never before have I dealt with such a thing. I’ve always been very much in control of every road I’ve ever been down. My feelings are so conflicted. I want to be the man who thinks with his head, who makes logical decisions. But emotions have gotten in the way. Perhaps it may even be my cock thinking for me. I sure as shit don’t know. The one thing I do feel confident about is that I can’t sleep with two women at once. I need to decide once and for all if I’m going to remain committed to my family or go after the woman who makes me feel things I never have. The one I’ve fallen in love with.
“You don’t want me to touch you?”
I take another drink. How do I answer the question when I don’t even know the answer?
Parker stands up and reaches for my neck. I shy away, trying to figure out what’s going on in my mind. Images of both women come flying through my mind, luring me to them. I try unsuccessfully to tuck them away in the various corners of my mind.
“Trent, you know you can talk to me about anything.”
“How can I possibly do this when I told you I wanted a divorce this morning? Our lives have gone in a direction I never expected. One incident of making love isn’t going to change things between us. We have to figure out what we’re going to do. We need to have the serious conversations about what we’re going to do with the kids, house, assets, and us.”
“Trent, I don’t want any of that. I want you and our family. You and these kids mean more to me than anything in the world. The rest of it can all go to hell for all I care. This is what makes me happy. I can’t do any of this without you.”
“You’ve been doing this without me for months, Parker. You’ve made your social events your priority, not our family. I certainly haven’t been on that list for a very long time.”
Tears stream down Parker’s cheeks. “I know. It’s my fault. I realize that I’ve been a horrible wife. You deserve better. I’ve realigned my priorities. You’re all I want. I don’t care about the other stuff. I want to commit my world to you. Please, Trent, let’s go away on that trip. Let’s reconnect and find ourselves again. Let’s show our children we’re a united front.”
What kind of father would I be if I deny her request? Have I given this marriage and my family everything I have? The answer is no. I’ve been with Parker so long and our children, well…they deserve me putting them first and trying my hardest.
“Fine.” Despite everything, I’m listening to Jonathon again.
“Fine? Does that mean you’ll give us another try?”
“Yes. I’ll commit to it for a month. We can reevaluate after that.”
Parker runs into my arms. “I promise you won’t regret it.”
I’m trying not to think about how Beth is going to react when I tell her my decision. I’m in a no win situation. Either way, I break someone’s heart. Part of me wishes that Parker wanted a divorce too. The other is excited to see if we can save our marriage and see where it goes.
Parker takes my hand and pulls me out of the office, up the stairs, and into our bedroom. I pause at the doorway, knowing that if I take this step I can’t look back. I’m recommitting myself to my wife. Is this something I want or is it some obligation? I guess it doesn’t matter. My children are the most important thing in my life and I’ve known that since they were born. My father has only made me more aware of this fact when he informed me that I need to protect them from the Edwards family.
It’s an out of body experience watching my body follow Parker into the room. She slowly begins to undress me. I don’t fight her. Instead, I shut down all of my feelings, desire, and turn into a machine void of any emotion. I give Parker what she wants and allow her feel as though we’re moving in the same direction. As though we’re on parallel planes. What choice do I have if I’m going to protect my boys?