Chapter10
The months of Savannah’s pregnancy went by quickly for her. The anger and judgment that she had suspected might come from her father’s congregation and the rest of the community never materialized. In truth, she was just too well loved in the community for anyone to treat her any differently than they always had.
In fact, it had brought some people closer to her, especially her brother. Where there had once been distance, now there was the strongest bond they had ever shared. He went with her to pick out a crib and was beside her in all of her childbirth classes. Without him, she was sure she might have gotten overwhelmed at some point. With him by her side, though, she had the strength to face anything. His excitement about his role as uncle was heartwarming to her.
The only exception was Tony. He and her brother remained both partners on the police force and friends, though their relationship was strained. Sam had not quite forgiven Tony for using his position on the police force to interfere with his sister’s life. Though Tony refrained from even mentioning Savannah, Samuel knew that his friend was still deeply in love with his sister and deeply hurt at the turns their lives had taken. He also felt some scrutiny from those throughout the town who suspected him of being the father of Savannah’s baby.
Savannah, for her part, didn't mention Tony either. To her, his actions were beyond forgiveness. The only thing that spared him the full extent of her anger was the fact that he had not destroyed the letters from Jake.
She read all of the words her true love had written to her during those weeks of silence. In those pages, he described in beautiful detail all of the places that he had been and reassured her that his love grew ever stronger, no matter how much distance was between them. He spoke of his brothers and his deep love for them.
He painted such a vivid picture of each one that she felt as though she knew them all personally. To her, they felt like family as much as her own parents and brother did. After all, the man she loved cared deeply for them. How could she not love them as he did?
After her confrontation with Tony and her visit to the Post Office, the letters began to arrive in her mailbox again regularly. The relief she felt each time she opened the box to see one of his signature envelopes was indescribable. Though her parents were kind enough not to push her for more details about him, she knew that they were not completely oblivious to his continued presence in her life.
It was an odd arrangement, to be sure, but Savannah felt blessed to have what connection she could with Jake, especially after the fear she had felt when they lay together on the floor of the old church together after their first time together.
Lying there, she had been consumed by the fear that he would be taken completely from her life after that night. She had not known if she could handle a life without him. Thankfully, he had found a way he could to stay with her and the baby made her even more grateful for that.
When the house was quiet and she knew that she was truly alone, she would read his letters aloud to the baby. It was during one such moment that her life changed forever. Her mother and father had decided to take a walk and enjoy an unusually lovely early spring evening.
As soon as she was sure that they were gone, she went to her jewelry box and pulled out her letters, then she went to the nursery and settled in to the rocking chair that her father and brother had made for her and the baby.
Gently, she rocked back and forth as she read Jake’s first letter out loud to the baby. She felt the baby gently kick her as she continued to read, forcing her to pause for a moment.
“You like the sound of your Daddy’s words, don’t you? I wish you could hear his voice. It's deep and strong, but clear and comforting all at once. There is no better sound in the world than your Daddy’s voice,” she cooed as she rubbed her stomach, connecting with the child within.
She cleared her throat and began to read again, saying gently “I plan to write often. Should these letter be unwelcome or a burden, please discard them. I hope, though, that you will cherish any link that can continue to exist between us as I do. I feel as though there is a wound upon my soul that can only be healed by your sweet touch. Though I don't know when, I promise you that one day we will meet again. With all my love, Jake.”
It was then that she felt it. She knew, as she read the final words, that the baby was coming. She froze for a moment, allowing the sadness that Jake wouldn't be there to share in the joyous moment wash over her. She pictured his smile and imagined the feeling of his hand wrapped around hers as he told her everything would be alright and wished with all of her might that he was by her side. She needed to be strong though, both for herself and for the baby. With that, Savannah stood and gathered her thoughts.
The first thing that she did was call her brother. He was, after all, the one who had agreed to be her labor coach and he was also the only one who would be able to keep their mother calm during the process. Once she got off the phone with him, she went to her room and gathered her hospital bag.
She had asked Samuel to drive around before he came to pick her up and find their parents so that they knew that the day had finally come. She was in no position to track them down herself, but she knew that her mother would never forgive her if she returned to find an empty house and a note telling her that her first grandchild was on the way.
While she waited for Samuel to arrive with their parents, she simply sat on the old porch swing outside of their front door and thought about all the ways that her life was about to change. When she next walked through the front doors of her home, she would do so with the baby in her arms. For months, the child’s arrival had seemed like something that was so very far away. Now, though, it was finally upon her. She had some nerves about the actual physical delivery of a baby, but she had no doubts or fears about being a mother. Any nerves she had faded as she placed a gentle hand upon her stomach and imagined holding her baby for their very first time. She was so lost in her own thoughts about it that she didn't realize that her brother had arrived.
“You planning to have that baby on the porch?” he called out the window of his truck.
“Wouldn’t you have to deliver it then, Mr. Policeman?” she said with a laugh.
“Get out of that truck and help your sister,” their mother chastised, siding with Savannah for the first time in a spat against her brother. She wanted to savor the moment, but a contraction came and the pain forced all humor from her mind.
“Come on, easy now,” Samuel said as he picked up her bag in one hand and supported her gently with the other until the pain passed.
“Thank you,” she said, unsure what she would have done without him.
“Don’t thank me until we get this baby born,” he chuckled as he got her settled in his passenger seat and closed the door behind her.
“We are right behind you,” her father called as he stepped in to the house to grab his car keys.
Savannah waved as the pulled out. Silently, she went through a checklist in her head of everything that she had planned to do before the baby arrived. There wasn't anything left that she could think of to do. It was just up to God and Mother Nature now, she thought, as she prepared to bring the baby in to the world.
The labor itself was long, but she didn't suffer a great deal of pain. With her family by her side, nothing seemed too great an obstacle to overcome. It was nearly 3 o’clock in the morning before her beautiful son was born.
Never once did her parents or her brother leave her side. As they all sat there, staring at the little miracle that had just joined their family. Savannah couldn't remember a time when she had felt more connected to them.
“My baby is a mother,” her own mother said with tears in her eyes.
“Yes she is, my dear,” her father said as he wrapped his arm around his wife’s shoulders.
“I cannot believe he is really here,” Savannah said, in awe of the perfect child she held in her arms.
“He is handsome, just like his uncle,” Samuel said with a grin.
“Yes he is,” she agreed, too tired to tease him.
“Should we leave you alone to get your rest?” he asked, looking suddenly very concerned.
“That might be a good idea,” she said, touching a loving finger to the baby’s cheek.
“Yes, that is an excellent idea,” their mother agreed, beginning to stand to go.
“Wait, I have to tell you all his name,” Savannah said, realizing that she had not yet said his name out loud yet.
“I didn't know you had already chosen one,” their father said, coming closer to look adoringly at his grandson.
“Yes,” she explained. “I had some ideas, but I wasn't quite sure until I saw him if it would be just right.”
“What is it?” her mother asked, her eyes twinkling with tears of happiness.
“Brian Samuel,” she said, tears glistening in her own eyes as well.
“Samuel?” her brother said, sitting down as the emotion of the fact that her son was named after him settled in.
“Yes, I couldn't have done this without you. I want you to know that my son and I will never be able to repay you for all of your support,” she said, crying in earnest as she spoke.
“There is no thanks necessary. That is what family’s do,” he said, though she could tell that he was emotional about it.
“I hope you don't mind that it's his middle name, not his first name. I just thought that having two Samuels running about might be a little confusing for everyone,” she said with a giggle, knowing how it had bothered her brother when a new boy had moved to their school who shared his first name.
“I think that was a wonderfully thoughtful plan,” he said as he went to sit on the bed beside his sister.
“I hope you will be his godfather,” she continued, feeling at peace in the knowledge that her son would always be looked after by the same strong, good family that had made her the person that she was.
“It would be my honor,” he whispered and his sister was quite certain that she saw the start of a tear beginning in his eye.
“I couldn't ask for too better children that those the Lord gave me,” their father said as he bent in and kissed both Savannah and baby Brian, then clasped an approving hand on her brother’s shoulder.
“We are blessed indeed,” her mother whispered though her own tears of joy.
With that, they all rose and left her alone with her son. She looked down in to his eyes that were so very much like his father’s and fell even deeper in love with both Jake and the baby boy he had given her. To be a mother was her deepest wish and, now that it had finally been fulfilled, it was sweeter even than she had imagined it would be.
The nurses settled the baby back in his bassinet soon after and whisked him off to the nursery. Though she hated to be away from him, Savannah was so tired that she soon drifted off to sleep. In her dreams, she saw Jake. He held her close and whispered to her of his happiness about their child.
He told her how his love for her was eternal and was only amplified by the addition of a child. Though she knew it was a dream, it felt so real to be in his arms again, even in a dream, that when she arose in the morning, she was disappointed to not find him lying beside her.
When she heard a knock at the door, she invited the person in the other side to enter, believing it to be a nurse. Instead, there stood Tony with a bouquet of flowers and a pained expression on his face.
“I heard the baby was born,” he said, entering and coming to stand beside her bed.
“Yes,” she said coldly.
“And you're both faring well?” he asked without looking directly at her.
“Yes, Brian and I are quite well. Thank you,” she said, sitting up a bit to better face him as she spoke.
“You named him Brian. Is that his name too? The man in the letters?” he asked, his voice cold as steel.
“No, it isn't,” she said, feeling her temper rise.
“I didn't come to speak about him or the letters. In fact, I would be happiest if we never spoke of either thing again,” he said. It only then dawned on her that these were the first words they had spoken since she had confronted him about those letters.
“Alright,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ears nervously. She wasn't sure what had brought him to see her, but it was clear that he had come with a purpose. In fact, she didn't have to wait long at all for her answers.
“I have come with an offer,” he said, finally locking eyes with her.
“And what is that?” she asked, her chin held high as she spoke.
“It's an offer that will ensure that you and your son have the best life possible,” he began. He looked as though he wanted to sit beside her on the bed, but the guarded look she gave him seemed to convince him that distance between them was best.
“Say what you came to say,” she ordered, sure that she wasn't going to like whatever he was about to say next.
“If you will have me, I will marry you. I will claim the child as my own. You will be legitimate and you will have my home at your disposal to raise him in. No one would question it. There are those who already believe me to be his father,” he said as though he was offering her a stick or gum or a newspaper.
“That is the most insulting thing I have ever heard. You think I would marry you just to legitimize my son? My son is already legitimate. He was born of love. That is what matters, not some piece of paper given by the government,” she snapped, her cheeks burning with anger.
“Don't get all high and mighty with me. You have put yourself in this situation. I'm offering you an escape. Half the town already thinks I'm the father of your child,” he said defensively.
“Then they are fools. It's true that my son was born out of wedlock. He was conceived of a love and commitment greater than any that you could understand, because it's clear you have no understanding of true love. I don't regret how he was conceived and I regret nothing. Leave before I have you kicked out,” she said, doing her best to keep her voice down and avoid disturbing other patients.
“You will regret this moment for the rest of your life,” Tony snapped before turning around and marching angrily from the room. A few seconds later, Samuel burst through the door.
“I just saw Tony storming off. What was he doing here?” he asked, his voice full of suspicion.
“He was just here offering to save my son and I from a life of shame,” she said, her voice seething with anger.
“He said that?” Samuel asked in disbelief.
“He might as well have. He offered to marry me and pretend that the boy is his son,” she said, though she was still angry her voice had begun to level again.
“That fool,” he said, shaking his head.
“Yes, he certainly is a fool,” she said as she lay back and thought of Jake and their time together. Those hours meant more to her than a life time with any other man could. There was just no way to explain that to those who didn't understand the fiery depths of such love.
“I will tell him again to leave you alone,” her brother offered.
“No, that is alright. You have done enough and I don't want to strain your relationship any further. Thank you, though,” she said with a smile.
“Anything for you, baby sister,” he said with a smile.