Chapter Three
Rory
Rory rolled his shoulders back, exhaled, and tried to relax into the calm that usually awaited him when he meditated. But he couldn’t shut his brain off. Jealousy wasn’t an emotion he was used to feeling. It was an ugly and useless emotion and he’d always been secure enough with himself and in his relationships that he’d never felt it before.
It unsettled him that he felt it now. He’d told Nick more than a year ago they couldn’t be exclusive, and he’d been fine with it. Okay, fine was a stretch. Rory begrudgingly accepted that Nick needed more than he could give him. As much as Nick needed the sweet sting of submission he’d always needed the other side of the equation to balance himself out. Nick had a driving need to dominate and while Rory would do anything for him—flog him, cane him, tie him up, beat him, fuck him, force him to his knees—he didn’t have it in him to be submissive, he wasn’t strong enough for that, not even for Nick. Rory’s need to be in control had never bothered him.
Until now.
Now, jealousy crept into the corner of his heart and nagged at him to do something to fix things with Nick before he lost him completely. Rory untangled his legs and flopped backward, stretching out on the floor of his bedroom. He stared at the ceiling and noted another not often encountered emotion, helplessness.
If he could find it in himself to give up control, to let go, he could take control of the situation and seize Nick for his own. Then, Nick would have all his needs met, and he would be the one to do it. But the idea of being on his knees, of letting Nick strip him bare, of being completely controlled by nothing but the will of another human being made him break out in a cold sweat. It wasn’t that Nick hadn’t seen him laid bare before, with his soul flayed wide open, but it had always been on his terms, and he needed that. He’d never not need it.
With a sigh, Rory rolled over and pushed himself to his feet. He showered and dressed in a pair of grey trousers that hugged his ass and a soft white sweater that made his blue hair stand out. He’d gone purple briefly but had switched back to blue since then. Blue was his go-to color.
He understood it was childish, but when he’d started to grey at the obscenely early age of twenty-three, he’d started to dye his hair to cover it up. Steve bought him his first bottle of blue dye years ago and he’d never looked back. Though he usually went blue, sometimes he changed it up, but he always went back sooner or later.
Rory arrived at his jewelry store to see Nick already parked and waiting for him. Sometimes, Nick met him there to enjoy a coffee and a quiet breakfast in Rory’s office before he had to open the store. Rory climbed out of his car and was greeted by a freshly showered, damp haired Nick.
“Did you already go to the gym?” Rory asked as he raised himself up on his tiptoes to brush a kiss against Nick’s lips.
“Andrew and I went for a run.”
Jealousy stabbed at Rory. He wasn’t a runner, especially when it came to running with Nick. Nick’s legs were too long, and he couldn’t keep up. Not only that, but he preferred quieter, more controlled forms of exercise, like Tai Chi, or yoga, or shoveling strawberry sorbet into his face. “I’m glad you made a new friend.” He wanted to be glad, but mostly he felt left out. Nick had spent more of his free time the past couple of weeks with this new friend than he usually spent with anyone besides Rory.
Rory unlocked the door and Nick followed him inside, throwing the deadbolt and leaving the sign on the door flipped to closed.
“I wonder if you can get Andrew to stop hating me long enough to introduce me to him.”
“Andrew doesn’t hate you.”
Rory rolled his eyes while he unlocked his office, thankful that Nick couldn’t see. Of course, Andrew hated him. Rory had Andrew’s secret affection for Everett pegged within the first ten minutes of meeting him. Not that he ever told Everett his suspicions of Andrew’s feelings, but Everett found out anyway. Secrets always did have a way of coming out.
The thought nearly prompted Rory to share the flicker of jealousy he experienced over Nick’s friendship with Andrew, but he decided some things were better left unsaid. “How’s Andrew doing, anyway? I heard from Everett that it was hard on Andrew when Everett and Xavier got together.”
Nick laughed and followed Rory into his office. He perched on the edge of Rory’s desk and handed him his coffee. “Why don’t you ask blondie yourself?”
Rory shook his head. “Asking Everett anything right now requires prying him away from his boyfriend.” He took the breakfast burrito Nick offered and gingerly unwrapped it. It warmed Rory’s heart that Nick drove halfway across town to get his favorite breakfast burrito from a little family run deli.
“Still attached at the hip?”
“And the lips.” Rory smiled softly as he brought the burrito to his mouth. He loved how into each other they were, but he’d admit to himself—and only to himself—that it made his chest ache to see Everett and Xavier so happy. He didn’t want Everett, they’d never been like that. Even though Rory was a Dom and Everett was a sub, it didn’t mean they were compatible. They’d never done a scene together. From the moment he met Everett he’d been like a kid brother to Rory.
Rory watched something flicker through Nick’s expression, and he knew what it was. He knew Nick had been ready to settle down for a while now. Years, even. Rory’s breakfast turned to ash in his mouth. He should let go of Nick completely. He understood Nick would never find someone who could be everything he needed if he still hung onto hope that Rory would relent and let him settle.
Not today. He would be selfish for a little longer. Then he’d cut Nick loose. Rory wanted to rub his chest to smooth away the knot of ache that formed there, but he refused to give his inner turmoil away in front of Nick.
“Bring Andrew around. I promise not to bite.”
Nick raised an eyebrow. “You promise not to go all super-dom on him? You’ll freak him out.”
“Is he still as jumpy as I remember him?”
“Like a scared rabbit, Roar.”
Warmth surged through Rory upon hearing his nickname. That settled it. “Come on, bring him by.” If Andrew was going to be in Nick’s life, then Andrew couldn’t avoid Rory anymore. He saw Nick’s skeptical expression and gave him his most charming smile in return. “I’ll be on my best behavior. You have my word.”
Nick considered the request for a moment, then eventually nodded. He knew better than to argue with Rory when he wanted something. Though it was unlikely that he would’ve pressed the issue, Nick understood him well enough to know when something was important to him.
That’s how, three days later, Rory found himself sitting on the other side of a booth at a diner that Nick and Andrew had been meeting for breakfast at, quite frequently, staring at the blue-eyed beauty who he was certain he’d lose Nick to one day.
Rory could tell when Nick got attached to people. Lucky for Andrew, he was oblivious to it. He never seemed to notice the way Nick looked at him, or the way Nick held the door open for him, or any of the tiny signals Nick sent out whether he realized it or not. He hung off Andrew’s every word and Andrew drank it in, never realizing how lucky he was to have the attention of such a beautiful man.
Half way through breakfast, Andrew still hadn’t said much. Nick had been telling a story to them of the bar fight he’d broken up a few nights ago. Rory watched as Andrew listened intently while he packed the food away. He appreciated the way Andrew listened to what Nick had to say. Rory could see why Nick liked him. Andrew had always been a good-looking guy and the time he spent working in construction had turned his body into a work of art. He had broad shoulders and narrow hips. His body was covered in lean muscles. Rory shoved his impure thoughts about the man aside and spread some raspberry jam on his whole wheat toast.
The conversation had dropped off and that’s when Rory noticed that Andrew had been staring at him. He lifted his gaze and met Andrew’s. Guilt and perhaps a touch of sadness pinched Andrew’s features.
“I think I owe you an apology.”
Rory frowned and set his jam-covered butter knife on his plate. “For what?”
“I hated you for no reason.”
Rory tamped down the urge to laugh at Andrew, but only because he seemed so earnest. Some people pretended to be innocent, but when Rory looked at Andrew he glimpsed the truth behind it. Andrew was innocent, and it left him painfully open to causing himself heartache. He’d never laugh at anyone for their feelings, least of all someone whose innocence had caused themselves an undue amount of pain.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Andrew.”
“I was a jerk.”
Rory reached out and put his hand on Andrew’s much bigger hand. “It’s fine, Andrew. You’re allowed to change your mind about people.” In an attempt to steer the conversation into something lighter, Rory shot him a wink. “What do you think of me now?”
Admittedly, Rory had dressed to impress. A pair of skinny jeans and a fitted button down did a good job of showing off his physique, even if Andrew didn’t check him out in an obvious way, Rory took pride in looking nice.
“I think you’re fishing for compliments.”
Rory put his hands up. “Busted.” He winked at Nick. “Are you going to arrest me?”
Rory watched a blush flash across Andrew’s cheeks before Nick pulled his attention away.
“Behave.” Nick frowned at Rory, but Rory could see the mirth in his eyes.
Rory drank in the sight of him and his chest constricted. How much longer could Rory justify keeping Nick, knowing that he’d never be enough for him?
“Are you going to handcuff me if I don’t?” They both laughed because they knew there wasn’t a chance in hell that Rory would ever willingly subject himself to the bite of restraints on his skin.
Andrew’s expression was a mixture of shock and curiosity, and maybe a little interest, and it wasn’t missed by Rory, who winked at Andrew. “Don’t look so shocked, Cub, he’d never get me into a pair of handcuffs.”
“Cub?” Nick said, as he shot Rory a quizzical look. Rory shrugged. He didn’t know where that had come from either, but he wasn’t about to admit to it. Andrew’s innocence coupled with the way he latched onto Nick made Rory think of him as a baby bear, someone who gave friendship easily and had an endearing innocence. Someone who desperately wanted guidance and who clung to authority figures.
Rory wanted to lean back and let Nick steer the conversation so he might examine Andrew a little more, but Nick knew all his tricks by now. He’d want to know why Rory was so interested in Andrew. He’d already pushed for this breakfast. If pressed, Rory would have to lie about sizing Andrew up to see if he was good enough for Nick.
Rory could cut Nick loose and hope that he’d eventually find someone to fill the void, but when he saw the easy way the two men interacted, Rory realized it would be easier to let Nick go if Rory knew he had someone to grab onto. Rory forced a smile he didn’t mean and shoved the thought out of his head. He finished his tasteless toast and did his best to join in on the conversation.
By the time breakfast was over Rory had come to one conclusion.
Andrew and Nick were probably perfect for each other.