Chapter Eight
Rory
Rory sipped his lemon water and looked around, taking in his surroundings. Nick had insisted they spend the whole day together, and while the idea had been a lovely one, it didn’t sit well with him that Nick felt obligated to ignore someone he cared about for an entire day, even if he did like the idea of having Nick’s undivided attention. He could tell by how quiet Nick had been lately that he struggled with something.
That something being Andrew Jeffries, the six-foot-something-sex-on-a-stick, whom Nick had pinned to a wall in a shower and jerked to orgasm in the showers at a fitness center. Nick had dommed before, he’d dated before, once or twice since he’d gotten involved with Rory, and none of Nick’s previous relationships had ever bothered Nick or Rory. They had clearly defined boundaries of what was acceptable and what was not, and Nick hadn’t ever come close to those lines, let alone crossed any.
“This is a nice place.” Rory mused as Nick came to the table.
His drink had been more complicated than Rory’s lemon water so he’d sent Rory to sit down while he paid for their purchases and waited on his latte.
Nick set his sandwich and his coffee down, then stuck his hand in his pocket.
“What are you doing?” Rory scrunched his brow as he watched Nick wander over to the fountain.
“The owner is obsessed with wishing wells, so she installed this water fountain. When I come here with Andrew, he always flicks a penny in.” Nick dropped the penny and Rory watched it tumble through the air, catching a glimmer of sunlight for a split second before it vanished into the water.
Flick a penny.
Rory could scarcely breathe. He was sure, at the time, that it had been a throw away line Everett said, a random bit of advice that he probably never meant for Rory to take seriously, but there it was. The answer to everything. Andrew.
Flick a penny in a kink club and you’d hit at least three people willing to be on their knees for you and Nick.
Andrew was the solution to the constant fear that Rory would lose Nick. Nick liked Andrew, Rory knew that. It killed him to see Nick struggle with his feelings for someone, but if they brought Andrew into the relationship, they could close it. Rory with Nick. Andrew with Nick. Nick with them both. Seeing Nick completely happy would mean everything to Rory.
Nick returned to the table and sat down. He smiled at Rory, but he didn’t look happy. Rory reached out and put his hand on Nick’s. “Are you okay?” He stroked his fingers across the back of Nick’s hand and smiled when Nick turned his hand over and took Rory’s.
Nick opened his mouth to speak and Rory sensed his hesitation. “And don’t you dare lie to me, Nicky.”
Nick shook his head. “I’m out with you, and I’m supposed to be focused only on you, but…” Nick stopped talking as if the admission that he couldn’t focus on Rory twenty-four-seven was too painful.
“But you’re thinking about Andrew.”
Nick nodded. “I’m sorry. When I told him that I couldn’t talk to him today that today was your day, he said he understood, but I felt like I’d kicked him.”
Rory leaned back a little. “You told him that you couldn’t talk to him today? Why would you do that?”
“Because today was supposed to be about you, only you. I didn’t want him to think I was mad or upset or something, but I wanted him to know I wouldn’t be answering my phone today.”
“You talk every day?”
Nick nodded and wrapped his free hand around his mug.
“It’s okay to like him, you know. You’re not breaking any rules if you have feelings for someone else.”
“I’m not used to caring like this though, Roar. I’m used to comparing everyone to you. You’re the yardstick I use to measure everyone against. You’re the standard and no one has ever lived up to you.”
“And Andrew measured up?” Rory furrowed his brow. The way Nicks’ brain worked always marvelled him. His unique perspective intrigued him. Nick’s drive to dominate in some situations, but his need to submit in others, was a puzzle Rory would happily spend his entire life figuring out.
“That’s the thing. He doesn’t compare to you at all. He’s Andrew. He’s quiet and unsure one moment and confident and fierce the next.”
“And you want to help him.” He squeezed Nick’s hand. “He brings out your dominant nature, your protector. I’ve seen it. You see that he’s struggling with something and you want to help him. And that desire is a powerful one, especially with someone as gorgeous as Andrew.”
Nick finally lifted his gaze. “You think he’s gorgeous?” The corner of Nick’s mouth turned up in amusement.
“Of course I do. Who wouldn’t? He’s the kind of guy romance authors would wax poetic about for pages. The Greek god comparisons would go on for entire chapters.” Nick laughed and nodded, to which Rory raised his glass of lemon water. “Plus. You’ve seen his ass.”
Now that the mood had shifted, Rory licked his lips and thought of Andrew and Nick kneeling for him. Andrew seemed to tolerate Rory a lot better than he used to, but the thought that Andrew could one day want Rory like that was impossible. And Rory didn’t know if Andrew was a submissive, not for sure.
“You know.” Rory said as he picked at his food. “There’s no reason to feel bad for liking Andrew.”
Guilt flashed across Nick’s face. “I know.”
Rory squeezed Nick’s hand and prayed that this would work. That it would settle the unease that had built up in him ever since Nick had asked to close their relationship. Nick wanted to settle down. He wanted a life and a home and Rory knew he could never be everything Nick needed, not on his own. But with Andrew in the mix, everything Rory wanted was within reach.
“I think you should be exclusive with Andrew.” Rory said, he watched Nick’s gaze snap to his and his eyes widened and before Nick could panic further, Rory continued. “And me. I’ll be exclusive with you, and you’ll be exclusive with me, and Andrew.”
Nick furrowed his brow. His thumb stroked over the back of Rory’s hand and his leg bounced up and down, two things that Rory knew meant Nick was nervous. “You want that?”
Rory reached out and cupped Nick’s cheek. “I do. I want you, Nicky. I’ll never not want you, but we talked about us last year. I’m not enough.”
“You are, Roar. You’re—”
Rory put his hand across Nick’s mouth. “I’m not, and it’s okay, Nick. It’s never not been okay. You’re a beautiful and complex person and it’s part of the reason I love you. But I’m not enough.” He removed his hand from Nick’s mouth and carded it through his hair, knowing all the gentle touches helped ground Nick, helped him latch onto their connection and really hear what he had to say. “But you like Andrew, and Andrew likes you, and I think it would be good for all three of us to know that we’re a closed unit. Of course, Andrew is your boyfriend, and I’m okay with that, but I want him to be comfortable with me, and with us. I think he’d feel better, and so would you, if we modified our current rules to include Andrew.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Nick’s chest heaved. “When I asked you to be exclusive last year, you shut me down, but I never stopped imagining it. I never imagined being exclusive with you and someone else though. I don’t know what Andrew would say to this. How would it work? Would him and I hang out with you and just… sneak off to have sex? Would he want to be around and watch us cuddle and watch movies and stuff? Or would it always be like I had two separate relationships that I was running back and forth between? How would any of this work?”
Rory raised his gaze and a grin spread across his face. “Well, let’s ask him.” Rory raised his arm and called to Andrew, who had exited the park across the road a moment before. Andrew approached, his gaze swung back and forth between Rory and Nick. Rory lowered his sunglasses and looked Andrew in the eyes.
“Join us, Andrew.”
Andrew seemed uncertain, but he sat after only a small hesitation. His eyes held the same conflicted look that Nick’s often held. Andrew and Nick liked each other, Rory knew that, but he hadn’t expected Andrew to have enough affection for Rory to make his face a picture of tortured guilt.
Rory’s heart clenched at the sight. He loved Nick above everything else in the world, and now, here was this beautiful boy that Nick’s heart latched onto with a fervor Rory wasn’t used to seeing aimed at anyone else but him.
He wanted to give Nick everything he needed, everything he wanted. He couldn’t before and it had killed him many times over to know that he would never be enough for the man he loved most of all. But now he could. He could give Nick and Andrew to each other. He could give Nick everything he deserved. If Andrew was willing.
Rory took his sunglasses off and set them on the table. He kept a hold on Nick’s hand. Nick’s uncertainty practically radiated off him, and Andrew noticed.
“I’m interrupting.” Andrew said suddenly as his cheeks darkened.
“You were invited to interrupt. Besides, we were just talking about you.” Andrew’s eyebrows shot up and he looked so young, so suddenly and tragically young and insecure that Rory felt compelled to reach for him. To comfort him in some small way. So he did. He patted Andrew’s knee with his slender fingers. “Only good things. I promise.”