Anna
Nausea rolled through Anna’s stomach as the party bus stopped in front of their hotel. Layla squeezed her hand, a thankful cringe on her face as Anna stumbled down the bus steps.
The day had been filled with manicures, pedicures, massages, girl talk, and drinks.
So many drinks.
But since Layla couldn’t have alcohol and didn’t want anyone to know why, Anna secretly drank her fruity cocktails all day.
The bridal party walked across the shiny marble floors of their hotel lobby and out to the beach. The fresh ocean air felt like heaven on Anna’s face, and she breathed it in slowly.
Deep breath in through the nose…drunken spinning nausea out through the mouth. Deep breath in…
The sunset came into view as her toes hit the sand. Pinks and reds filled the sky above the endless ocean waves. A bit blurry, but still stunning.
Layla and Anna ambled over to their dates seated in the beach chairs set up for non-wedding party plus ones.
“Hey there.” Drew stood to greet Anna, but she fell into his chair, catching herself when she almost slid off the side.
Concern washed over his face as he crouched in front of her. His hands rubbed along her bare thighs as he went into doctor mode. “Are you okay?”
Anna leaned her head back, but that made the spinning so much worse. She covered her mouth, pulling in another deep breath.
“She very graciously has been drinking both mine and her drinks all day so no one would notice and ask me about it,” Layla explained from somewhere nearby.
Anna kept her eyes closed and threw a thumbs up in their general direction.
“Seriously?” Drew burst into laughter. “You’ve been drinking for two all day? Sweetheart, you are the ultimate lightweight. How are you still awake right now?”
Drew lifted her to sit on his lap, and she rested her head on his shoulder.
“You gonna be okay?” he whispered, a smile still in his voice.
She blew out another deep breath and pulled one in. “Just need a minute.”
Through squinted lids, she saw the wedding party gathering behind them, where Lisa spoke to the wedding planner.
Drew tickled her ribs. “Look alive, Sunshine. I think it’s time to get in the game.”
Ryan stood to join the other groomsmen, and Layla pulled Anna up with them.
“Sorry you have to sit all alone.” Anna leaned forward to kiss Drew but stood when the spinning returned.
He pulled out his phone with a smile. “I’m fine. Go have fun.”
When they reached the group, Anna stood with her back to everyone. She continued her deep breathing while pretending to talk with Layla.
Lisa appeared in front of her so quickly she blurred at the edges. “I’m so, so sorry,” she pled, eyes wide with panic. What could possibly have happened in the last fifteen minutes?
Anna rested her hand on Lisa’s arm to calm her. “Why? What’s wrong, sweetie?”
Lisa’s gaze focused behind Anna while she whispered out of earshot from the others. “Nick has the flu and couldn’t make his flight. So Reed asked someone else to stand in at the last minute. He just got here, and I didn’t know…”
“Okay, so what’s the—”
“Hey, Anna.”
That voice.
Anna searched her foggy, alcohol-hazed brain, squeezing her eyes tight in recognition. The rough timbre washed over her, causing a shiver. She hated the part of her that still stood up and took notice in his presence.
No…
Lisa mouthed “so so sorry” again before Anna turned to find Mason standing in front of her.
He wore a white button-down dress shirt, tight across his chest, with the sleeves rolled up and khaki shorts. One corner of his mouth twitched in a nervous smile.
Either she was drunker than she thought or her ex-husband was about to be a groomsman in this wedding. Her heart stopped right there on the sand.
He tentatively reached for a hug, and Anna considered her options quickly. Not wanting to cause a scene, she returned the embrace. Mason’s fingers lingered on her lower back, his chin resting on the top of her head.
Nick had the flu, and Mason’s arms were wrapped around her. It was the first time they’d touched since the day he left, and her brain sat on the edge of shutting down.
Mason leaned back, holding Anna’s arms as his thumbs rubbed over her bare shoulders. “How are you?”
“Good.” Awful.
He released her, his smile so big it crinkled his eyes. “It’s really great to see you.”
Mason turned his attention to Layla and Ryan. “It’s been too long. I’ve missed you guys.”
Anna attempted to calm the pounding against her ribcage while staring at the back of Drew’s head. The once beautiful sunset scene had turned total hell fire and destruction.
She needed to get to Drew before his first view of Mason was her walking down the aisle with him, but the wedding planner had already started lining them up to go.
Mason held his arm out, and she stared at it momentarily before giving in and holding it. She stumbled in the thick sand as they started to walk, and he steadied her against his chest.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
“No.”
His bright white smile only grew larger on his admittedly still handsome face. “Am I going to get anything but one word answers out of you today?”
“Sure.” His teasing was clearly meant in fun, but it drew her back to a time when being near him didn’t bring memories that physical made her heart ache. She couldn’t play along.
“I surprised you a little?” His voice came out tentative, almost apologetic.
She laughed ruefully. “That’s an understatement.”
“A full sentence. We’re getting somewhere.” He nudged her shoulder, and she rolled her eyes. The alcohol made it easier to hold on to the rage. What was the protocol for making small talk with an ex-husband? Was there a manual? Rule book?
He squeezed her arm with his hand, leaning down to her ear. “Someone’s feisty today.”
Feisty wasn’t the word she’d choose.
They’d made it to the front of the line, and the wedding planner gave directions on exactly what they were supposed to do. But Anna focused only on Drew, who would turn around at any minute and watch her walk down the aisle with someone he hated. The nausea burning her stomach was no longer just from alcohol.
Their steps were slow in the warm sand, a little damp from last night’s rain. They made it halfway down the aisle before Drew put his phone back in his pocket and turned. His melt-me crooked smile turned down immediately in confusion before becoming a line of pure rage. He covered it quickly as Anna mouthed, “I had no idea.” Drew returned a small nod, jaw clenched, and even though she couldn’t see them, she was sure his hands were balled into fists.
The arbor was in front of them, and they split to their opposite sides of the wedding party. Anna’s gaze fixed on Drew, who was calmly scanning between she and Mason. She dared a peek at Mason from the corner of her eye. His gaze focused only on her.
Maybe she could fake the flu and get the hell out of here. Puking right now would not be an issue.
The pastor did a quick rehearsal, and they filed out. She met Mason under the arbor once again with his still massive smile. She couldn’t help remembering the last time they did this very same walk and how so many things had changed.
He held her arm in place until they reached the crowd, giving a gentle squeeze before letting go. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
Drew stood as Anna made her way to his chair. She took both his hands in hers and reached up to kiss his lips softly. “I swear I had no idea he would be here. Lisa said he couldn’t come, but Nick’s other groomsman got sick, and he asked Mason to fill in at the last minute.”
“Even if you did, it wouldn’t have stopped us from coming, right?” Drew asked.
“So you’re not upset?” She raised an eyebrow in question, and he shocked her with a shrug and a smile.
“I’m not in love with it, but it’s Reed and Lisa’s day. A few minutes tomorrow and it’ll all be over, no big deal.”
Drew’s lips brushed her neck, calming the nerves that had her body literally shaking.
“You ready for this?” she asked, lacing their fingers and following the crowd to dinner.
He stopped her, his free arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her flush against him. “I’ve got the love of my life beside me. I’m ready for anything.”
Her forehead hit his chest with a grin. “That was a pretty cheesy line.”
“You love it when I’m cheesy.” He tugged at her earlobe, and she laughed.
Everyone filed into their seats, and Anna quickly realized the seating chart that put Nick on her left and Drew on her right now had her sandwiched between the only two men she had ever loved.
Her stupid heart refused to beat as both men reached to pull her seat out. Mason shook his head and stepped back.
Surviving this night would require another drink.
As if he’d read her thoughts, Mason stood. “Can I get everyone something to drink? Drew, what will you have?”
Drew asked for a beer, and he looked to Anna, but she couldn’t seem to form any words.
“I know what you like. I’ll get you something.” Mason chuckled and left for the bar.
Layla shot a sympathetic look across the candlelit table, and Anna nodded. Determination to pull herself together set in. She wasn’t that weak person anymore, and she could handle this. She wouldn’t go back to the girl she’d been six months ago.
Mason handed Drew his beer, and the conversation turned to sports, fishing and the weather.
Ryan and Mason were still best friends, so a time and place where they were all together would have happened eventually. But seeing Mason for the first time since their divorce was slowly ripping apart some of the stitches she’d used to piece herself back together.
The mingling began after dinner, a welcome excuse to leave her table. She swapped recent book favorites with Julie and recipes with Summer and Heather. She and Reed were doubled over laughing about some of their more entertaining college parties when an arm wrapped around her waist from behind.
“Hello there, sexy,” Drew murmured, her back pressed against his chest.
Reed nodded, and she turned to face Drew. His bright blue dress shirt brought a sparkle to his eyes, even in the dim lighting.
“Hi, handsome.” She reached on her tiptoes to kiss him. The quick kiss she’d intended turned red hot, and she clutched the sides of his shirt. Everyone else in the room disappeared for a moment, and it was just her Drew, kissing her, holding her, loving her.
He pulled back with a wicked smile. “You wanna take a walk on the beach?”
“So much.” She breathed in relief.
He interlaced their fingers and led her to the door. Anna caught Mason’s stare from the patio as they walked out into the night air. His pleading gaze locked onto her, but for what she wasn’t sure. Forgiveness? Understanding?
He looked away, tipping back the brown liquor in his glass as Drew’s hand on her lower back led her toward the water.
The grainy sand between her toes and rush of the waves on her ankles took away her tension. She glanced to Drew in the moonlight, his gorgeous smile trained right on her. His expression playful as he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” she screamed.
“Having some fun,” he shouted over the waves as he ran into the surf.
Waist deep in the ocean, the salty smell filled Anna’s senses. Drew slid her down from his shoulder, dragging their bodies together in that slow way he knew drove her crazy. The alcohol made her head swim as he pulled her flush against him from chest to thigh. The warm water washed over them as she stared, mesmerized by every rock hard plane of this stunning man in front of her. She wanted him. No more waiting.
“I love you, Sunshine,” Drew whispered. He kissed her forehead, her cheek, her jaw.
Her arms joined around his neck. “I love you.”
They floated around in the waves, their lips moving hungrily as her hands slid under his shirt.
“Let’s go upstairs,” she whispered, tracing each of his abs with one finger until she hit the waistband of his pants and played with the button.
“Anna?” he pulled back, searching her eyes.
The alcohol buzz pushed her to flick open the button.
“Sunshine, you are caught up in the moment, and the alcohol is…I won’t let you regret this in the morning.” He stepped back, putting space between them.
Anna moved back into him with her sexiest smile. Her hand rested on the top button of his shirt.
“Maybe, but right now, I…” One button flicked open.
“Don’t.” Another button gone.
“Care.” The fourth button was open now, and she placed open mouth kisses down his chest to the fifth. He stopped her with a groan.
Both his hands gripped Anna’s like a vice. “Sweetheart, you seriously have to stop.”
“And what if I don’t?” Her lips were inches from his, the adrenaline burning through her.
He squeezed his eyes shut with a deep breath. “Then I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to keep from giving in, but I promised you I would make this special for you, and I don’t want to break that promise. You know how badly I want you, but you aren’t thinking clearly right now, and…with everything that happened today. I want it to be just about us when I make love to you. I want you to remember every single second—”
“I don’t want to wait anymore.” She cut him off, aware her slurred words proved his point. She leaned in to kiss his tattoo, but he held her away with his searching-for-something-to-convince-her look.
“You’re right.” She sighed heavily, working to cool her racing hormones. She loved him, but in this moment, she also hated his unwavering self-control.
Drew laughed, squeezing her hip as they walked out of the water. “You know that wasn’t easy for me, right?”
“Well, you did say no,” she teased, dropping his hand and jogging backward away from him.
“Is that right?” he growled, catching her in his arms. She squealed as he swung them around in a circle from behind. “Do you have any idea how much I want to strip you right here on this beach?” he whispered, his warm breath covering her ear. “I don’t want there to be any doubt in that mind of yours, because the first time I have you…there will be no stopping after that.”
He turned her to face him. Those hooded eyes bored a hole straight into her heart.
“Kiss me, Drew.”
He leaned in, his lips a breath from hers. “Yes, ma’am.”
Their mouths moved together in perfect rhythm as she poured every single ounce of her love for him into the kiss. The boy who’d been her best friend since they were born and the man she would spend her life with.
They eventually made their way into the hotel lobby, clothes dripping as they walked to the elevator.
Drew hesitated outside the elevator bay. “Crap, we forgot our shoes on the beach. I’ll run out and get them.”
Anna stood with her shoulder against the wall. Her forehead leaned on the cool marble. She pushed the button and watched the numbers tick down from twenty.
“Hey there.” Mason’s quiet voice came from behind. “Going up?”
She sighed, looking down at the black and white floor before facing him. She was a grown woman. She could do this. They had both moved on.
Anna met his gaze with a small smile. “That’s twice you’ve snuck up on me today.”
He looked down anxiously, hands shoved in the pockets of his shorts. She instinctively reached for his arm to comfort him but pulled it back.
“Sorry about that. Wasn’t sure there was a good way to approach you, so I thought I’d just rip off the Band-Aid.”
“I apologize for being short with you. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay. You have every right to be.” He stared at her, his blue depths pleading with her to make it okay. A year ago, she would have. A year ago, she would have done anything for him.
“It’s all right, Mason.”
The elevator doors opened, and they stood, staring at each other. “It’s not okay. What I did will never be okay.”
She stepped onto the elevator, and he followed. Mason turned her arm so she was forced to face him. “Anna, I…”
A hand stopped the elevator doors from closing, and Drew pushed his way through. His expression went from startled to pissed, but he simply stabbed the button for their floor. Mason immediately dropped his hold on her arm, crossing both over his chest.
They rode silently what had to be the slowest elevator in the history of the freaking world.
It dinged at their floor, and Mason motioned his hand. “After you.”
The hallway parted, and Mason walked left as Drew took Anna’s hand and walked right. She glanced over her shoulder and caught him watching them before he unlocked his door and disappeared inside.
***
1 year earlier
“Hey, babe,” Anna yelled, throwing her car keys on the kitchen counter. “You’re home early.”
Mason sat on the couch in the living room, still wearing his suit and tie, and Anna jumped into his lap.
“I missed you,” she murmured, kissing his jawline.
She leaned back and brought his lips to hers in a kiss, ready to celebrate his early homecoming. The kiss was intoxicating as his lips moved tenderly with hers. Until both of his hands gripped her face and he pulled them apart.
When she came down enough from the kiss to look at him, red tired eyes were locked and searching hers.
“What’s wrong?” Anna asked.
A million awful things suddenly started running through her head. Someone’s hurt? Someone’s sick? Someone died?
He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt but didn’t break his hold on her eyes. He stared for what felt like forever then slid her off his lap onto the couch next to him. Both her hands in his, Mason’s eyes focused on the floor in front of them.
“Mason, please tell me what’s going on,” she begged.
He took in a deep breath and pushed it out his nose, his eyes still on the floor. “Anna, I need to tell you something. It’s…it’s really bad, and I don’t even know how to…”
She squeezed his hands for encouragement. “Babe, you’re scaring me. Please just tell me.”
He finally looked up from the floor, and the pained expression on his face filled her eyes with tears. “On my trip…I…”
“What happened? Are you okay?” She looked him up and down, checking every surface for some accident he was in or injury he’d suffered.
“No, I…” His eyes searched hers once more before pulling her into an urgent kiss. Her hands moved up his chest, but he stopped them in both of his. “Anna, on my trip…” He looked up to the ceiling, then back at her. “I slept with someone.”
She dropped his hands and shot off the couch. “Excuse me?”
She’d misunderstood him. That was it. This couldn’t be what she…
“Please don’t make me say it again,” he pled, eyes closed.
Hot tears instantly burned her eyes and overflowed, her brain still trying to process what her fractured heart already knew was true.
“How did this…please tell me it’s not true. Mason, tell me you didn’t…” She waited, searching his face, but the denial never came. Her tears quickly became a more hysterical sob.
He reached out to hold her, but she slapped him across the face. She covered her mouth with her hands, reeling back in shock. “How could you do this to me?”
“I didn’t plan for it to happen.”
“You didn’t plan for it to happen. Are you freaking kidding me right now?” Anna shrieked, hands balled into fists at her sides. “Did your pants just happen to fall off as you tripped and fell into someone? You don’t accidentally have sex with a person that isn’t your wife!”
“I meant I didn’t leave town looking for this to happen. I didn’t plan it.”
All Anna could see was his lips kissing another woman’s mouth, her neck…taking off her clothes. The pictures running through her head were like the most disgusting nightmare she could have ever imagined. Anna knew his touch, his kiss, and suddenly the face of someone blinked like radar in her mind.
“It’s Mia, isn’t it?”
He paused then sighed. “Yes.”
The last time Anna surprised him at the office, Mia was leaning in his doorway, laughing hysterically at something Anna knew couldn’t be that funny. When Mason saw her walk up, he’d rushed over to the door and pulled Anna into a long kiss.
At the time, Anna took it as a compliment. Her sexy husband had this young girl flirting with him, but he only had eyes for her. He was all hers forever…
“So this has been going on since she started, what’s that, six months ago? You’ve been screwing her for SIX MONTHS!?”
“Anna, it just…”
“Stop saying it just happened!”
“That’s not what I meant. It hadn’t happened before three nights ago,” he explained.
The words “three nights ago” made the picture so much more vivid and so much worse. Had it been going on for the last two nights as well? While she was falling asleep on the couch in his AC/DC t-shirt, he was taking another woman back to his hotel room, and she was smiling at him like that day in his office while she took off his clothes.
“Why would I believe you?” she asked, pacing into the kitchen.
He followed her and stood across the kitchen island. “I should have stopped it.”
“You should have stopped it?” She laughed sarcastically. “You think, Mason? You think you should have remembered that you have a wife you’re supposed to love and cherish and all that bullshit you promised? Maybe, just maybe, you should have chosen not to have sex with another woman!”
He walked around the island toward her, and she took a step back. “Anna, I…”
“This clearly means nothing to you.” Anna ripped off her wedding ring, throwing it past his head. It bounced through the bookshelf, landing somewhere near the fireplace. She turned away. It made the sting in her chest so much worse to look at his face.
His footsteps moved slowly behind her then his hand touched her shoulder. She could never have imagined the pain now washing over every part of her.
“Anna, baby…”
“What, Mason? What could you possibly have left to say?”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
Anna whirled around to face him. She wanted him to hold her, to make the pain go away, but he couldn’t take it back.
“If you didn’t want to hurt me, then why did you do it?” she asked, sobbing so hard she could barely breathe.
“I don’t know! I don’t know why I did it.” He scrubbed his hands roughly down his face. “It was simple. We had dinner and drinks. We flirted, and she kissed me. It was…so easy.”
Anna’s eyes grew wide, and he continued. “We wanted a baby so bad, Anna. You were off birth control for a year before we ever started the temperature taking and calendar sex for another year after that. The pain in your eyes every time that test was negative. I needed to be the man who could give you that, and I can’t make it happen. It’s something I can’t control, and it’s killing me. The morning I left for the trip, I heard you crying in the bathroom. When I walked in, you wiped the tears away and covered it up with a fake smile. You couldn’t even tell me anymore. And I just left without even asking.”
He reached for her, and she slapped him away. “Don’t touch me. It hurts too much to look at you and not think about…you touching her. Can you please leave?”
Without a word, he sighed and walked away. She immediately wanted to run after him, but her legs wouldn’t move.
He picked up his keys from the bowl on the entryway table, glancing back one last time before walking out the door.
Anna stumbled to their bedroom and stared out the window as he drove away. The bile rose in her throat as she ran to the bathroom and emptied her stomach. She curled up in ball on the cool tile and cried.
How did this happen to them? Why wasn’t she enough? Had he been lying all along? Was it because she couldn’t give him a baby? What was she supposed to do now?
Anna forced herself to pack a bag, then walked through the halls of their house. The one person in the world she wished to comfort her, to hold her and tell her everything would be okay…was the person who’d hurt her beyond repair. She backed down the driveway knowing her life, their life together, would never be the same.