CHAPTER FIVE

Cady

 

 

 

I STOMPED MY WAY through the doors of Dalton & Montgomery, Attys at Law. Diane Montgomery was my litigation partner in crime.

I stormed toward my office, barely greeting Joelle, before slamming into my silent, kid-free sanctuary.

Joelle sauntered in after me, not delivering a cup of java as usual. Unlike me, my paralegal played by no rules at all.

I slammed my briefcase on my desk and slumped into my chair.

“Oooh, grumpy. Usually you’re just so shiny and happy every Friday morning I can’t even stand it. It’s sickening. Glad to have the old Cady back. For a minute there I was sure you’d started getting some.”

If only she knew.

Joelle was equal parts bossy-sassy and business-savvy. A fifty-year-old fashion-forward yoga fanatic who liked her spicy margaritas by the pitcher come Happy Hour. She never missed a beat, and she usually kept me sane on an hourly basis.

I’d been getting some all right.

Without a word, I jumped up, hustled to the reception, and poured a mug of coffee into my favorite cup. The one Luke, Dane, and Aiden had given me for mother’s day. The one that said Best Effing Mom Evah. Now Luke was a budding delinquent, Dane too smart for his own good. And Aiden was . . . fapping?

My entire body shuddered. Not from the caffeine intake.

And I’d left them in the care of Jude. Jeeeeesus Christ. The man who made my dirtiest dreams come true was suddenly, completely, firmly in my life.

And my phone chimed from inside my office.

Taking one deep breath, I walked back inside.

Joelle still stood by my desk, but her head was craned as she peeped at my iPhone.

“Didn’t see a thing, boss lady.”

Uh huh. Like I believe that.

I took one sip of coffee. Took one look at the text flashing up. Dropped back down into my chair.

And groaned.

“Problem?” Joelle asked.

“Just a reminder.” And now Jude had my number. Out of necessity. But still.

“Why all the scowling? Reminder for a mammogram? Pap smear? Something else super fun for us gals?”

“A reminder for Luke’s football game tonight.” I flipped the phone upside down on my desk. “From my new . . . babysitter.”

“Babysitter?”

“Nanny.”

“Nanny?”

“More like manny. Okay? My damn sexy stud of a manny, who just happens to be a former NFL football player. He’s also the semi anonymous boy toy I’ve been meeting every Thursday night for the past two months for a naughty assignation! Are you happy now?”

“Well alrighty then.” Joelle feigned indifference. Or tried to.

Actually, she took the seat across from me and avidly leaned forward like I was feeding her reality TV obsession.

“Now he has the key to my house. My phone number. And he’s seen me naked. He’s done a lot of things to me naked that no one’s ever done before.” I cupped my forehead in my hand. “I thought Coach Jay would send one of the cheerleaders, not this . . . this . . . this . . . gorgeous, sex-god, hothothot HOT man. And he’s young. He’s so young. He’s only twenty-six!”

Exhaling a breath, I took another sip of too-hot coffee.

Joelle sat wide-eyed and rapt.

I barely saw her.

“So now Jude’s probably thinking win-win, because he has an in into my life. What isn’t win is I can’t even look at him without—you don’t even want to know what the sight of that man does to me. I can’t . . . He can’t . . . Just his smell, and I’m . . .”

“I think I need to turn up the AC.” Joelle leaned back with a pleated piece of paper fanning at her face.

“I was just scratching that itch, you know? No names. No details. Then he arrives at my house. He’s too young. Too brawny. Too . . . ohmygod he’s really talented. How am I supposed to look at him like I don’t want to have him in bed every Thursday night?”

“Sounds horrible.”

“It is. It’s too much. He’s too much!”

Joelle adjusted her glasses in lieu of commiserating with me.

“Then he found my missing stiletto this morning, and he kneeled down in front of me. He asked me if he could put the shoe on my foot. It was—”

“A Cinderella moment!” Her eyes lit up.

I scowled. Even though my heart pitter-pattered like it had earlier. “I was going to say mortifying.”

“So you hired him?”

“Yes.” I bit out the word like it left the bitterest taste in my mouth. “He’ll probably start sending me dick pics next.”

“Does he have a nice one?” Joelle asked, no boundaries.

“You have no idea.” Apparently I had no boundaries either.

“Did you Google him yet?”

“No.”

“His last name?” Joelle pulled out her phone.

“Raleigh.”

Phone forgotten, she babbled, “Jude wha-oh my God!”

“What?”

“He was only the hottest man in the NFL, playing for the Jacksonville Charge. How could you be screwing him and not recognize him?”

I looked askance at Joelle.

“What?” She held up her hands, phone and all. “Just because I’ve been married forever doesn’t mean I’m dead.”

“I never knew you followed football.”

“I follow sports, and hot men.”

Taking her phone in my hand and shutting it off, I opened my laptop. “We have a brief to prepare for Linda’s settlement on Monday.”

“I’d like to see Jude in his briefs.”

“He usually doesn’t wear any.”

“And I’m actually dead.”

Joelle and I spent the next hour compiling all the information we needed to nail Linda’s extremely rich husband to the wall. She’d been smart when she’d signed the prenup prepared by me.

Joelle looked at her watch then placed a quick lunch order for delivery. “You have the Ashtons’ mediation in an hour.”

Head meet desk. “Oh God, not another one today.”

“It’s just Esther and Bill.”

And Gregory, Joelle wisely left out.

****

Settled at the table in the conference room, where there were always vases of seasonal fresh cut flowers, carafes of water and coffee, little nibbles—everything on offer to ease the inevitable tension of husband-versus-wife divorce wars—I sat beside Esther Ashton.

And the other lawyer, Gregory Dalton, lowered into a chair next to Bill. That was right, my ex, my wasband, was also a divorce lawyer.

I was just better at it than him.

The sniping back and forth between the golden age couple began immediately.

“Oh you ignorant old coot! I don’t want the damn house on Kiawah!” Esther made the first stab.

Bill—bless his receding hairline—placed his palms on the table. “What exactly do you want?”

“For you to put your pecker back in your pants for a start. That’d sure be something.”

I patted Esther’s hand as her gigantic diamond necklace bounced against the linen jacket of the Jackie O suit she wore.

“Remember, this isn’t a reconciliation, Esther. We just need to come to an agreement.”

Bill opened his mouth to counter. Gregory—bless his cheating heart—placed a hand on his arm to still and stop him.

“I want the money,” Esther countered, not letting her big wobbly tears fall.

Go girl.

“I want the accounts and financial investments,” she persisted. “You can have the houses and the land. All the real estate—”

Bill pushed his fists against his chin. “You’ll end up with more than me.”

“You were a scalawag when I married you, William. Count your carpetbagger blessings I’m letting you get away with anything at all.”

And there we go.

I knew I liked Esther for a reason. The woman had some major fucking chutzpah.

The unhappy couple shook on it, and I closed my folder. “I’ll have Joelle get the agreement together for signing.”

After Esther and Bill departed—exchanging more barbs—Gregory hung back for a moment.

“Are you still having the boys this weekend?” I gathered files together from the table.

“Of course. I’ll pick them up in the morning. Said I would.” His tone was immediately defensive.

“You also said you’d honor our marriage vows.” Perhaps Esther and Bill had left some of their bad juju in the room. With a short sigh, I straightened up to face my ex. “You know what? Never mind. I don’t care anymore.”

His shoulders relaxed. “At least we can agree on someone else’s divorce.”

“And there’s that.” I looked at the man I’d been married to for over fifteen years and wondered if I’d ever truly known him.

If he’d known me at all the way Jude did.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot,” he said.

“Do you know anything about fapping?”

Gregory sputtered so hard I thought he might choke. “What?”

“Fapping?” I repeated.

“Oh. We’re talking about Aiden then.”

We laughed quietly together. The moment was strange and odd and different, but far better than all the shouting, hating, and blaming. Gregory must’ve felt the same, because before he left, he patted me gently on the shoulder.

But by the end of the day, I was simply done. My feet hurt. My head hurt. And I had yet to figure out how to proceed with Jude.

“I so need a drink,” I said to Joelle when I passed her the arbitration agreement for Esther and Bill.

“Excellent. Where shall we go?”

“Can’t. The football game, remember?”

She stood by my desk, clapping her hands. “Can I come along?”

“Don’t you have a husband to go home to?” I collected my briefcase and purse, standing on my aching feet.

“Honey-chile, just because Rick and I celebrated our twenty-fifth last year doesn’t mean I’d ever say no to getting an up-close-and-personal with Jude Raleigh.”

“It’s couples like you and Rick who are bad for my business.”

“But to be fair, I also run your business.”

I halted. “True.”

“So am I due another raise?”

Joelle already had to be the highest paid paralegal in Charleston, because I just wouldn’t function without her. “Leave your request on my desk.”

“Booyah!”

For one moment the older woman sounded exactly like Luke.