Lo

“Ugh. I can’t believe it’s almost summer.” Laurie tilted her face into the sun’s rays while I slid my sunglasses over my face blocking out the light.

“Things seem better, with you and Kyle?” I glanced over at her and she shrugged.

“I guess. He’s more… present. But I think that’s because he finally decided on a school.”

“The University of Southern California, right?” I’d heard him talking to Uncle Gentry and Rebecca about it.

“Yeah. Coach Munford says he has a real shot and he’s already on their scout’s radar.”

“And have you decided?”

Her shaky laughter filled our quiet corner of the lawn. “Miss Tamson said my grades are good enough for USC. But do I really want to follow my boyfriend to college?”

“And what does he say about this?”

“He wants me to go.”

“That’s good, right?”

“It is, but…”

From the torn expression on her face, I knew I was still missing something. “There’s a but in this scenario?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t know.” A sigh rolled off her lips. “I love Kyle. I look into my future and see blond haired babies running around in number thirteen jerseys. But we’re young. How many high school sweethearts make it?”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. She was right. When she put it like that, it did sound… ambitious.

“No one’s saying just because you go to USC your life is set in stone, Laurie.”

“I know that. But what if I follow him to college and he realizes there’s more to life?”

“More to life… you mean what if he realises he wants to sow his wild oats?”

“Bingo.”

“Laurie, Kyle lov—”

“Loves me now. He loves me now, Lo. Who knows what he’ll feel when he leaves for college. And I know he’s been keeping something from me.”

My head snapped up to hers. “You don’t think he’s been…” I couldn’t even say the word; the idea was so un-Kyle.

“I found a text.”

“What do you mean, you found a text?”

“I wasn’t snooping or anything. He was taking a shower and his cell started going off, so I picked it up to take the call and I saw it.”

“What did it say?”

“You can’t ignore me forever.”

“Was there a name?”

“It wasn’t saved in his contacts.” She grimaced.

“Did you ask him about it?”

“And start World War Three? No, I didn’t ask him about it. It could be nothing…”

Or it could be something.

But another girl?

I didn’t buy it.

“Besides, it’s been too long to bring it up now,” she added, hurt lingering in her voice.

“Kyle isn’t cheating, Laurie.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know him, and he wouldn’t do that to you.”

She twisted and looked at me with her big honest eyes. “But how well do we ever really know someone?”

Maverick flashed into my mind. There’d been a time when I didn’t know him—not the real him. But he’d wanted me to believe the façade. Needed me to believe it.

“Lo?”

“Huh?” I blinked at my friend and she frowned.

“I said, how are things with Maverick and all that?”

“I—” I stared at her, the words stuck in my throat, wondering how I even begun to explain. Because I knew she wouldn’t understand, she wouldn’t get it.

And roles reversed, I probably wouldn’t either.

“Sorry, that was a dumb thing to ask. I know it can’t be easy. But we’ll have a good weekend, you won’t even know he’s gone.”

“You could have gone.” I knew Kyle had asked her to go with him and my Uncle and Aunt.

“And miss out on all the fun we’ll have?”

“Laurie,” I sighed. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate her support. I did. But I didn’t need babysitting. Maverick would only be gone for two nights.

Two nights with her.

My lips mashed together as I forced down the bitter words bubbling up my throat.

“Don’t let your mind even go there.” Laurie eyed me knowingly. “He would never—”

“I know.” I had no reason to doubt Maverick.

None.

But Caitlin was a whole other story because her words, her lies, had cut deep.

“Crap, what time is it? I said noticing Laurie’s watch. “I need to go.”

“Go? Go where?”

“I have an appointment with Miss Tamson.”

“Ahh, the whole ‘your future is bright speech’. Good luck with that.” She smirked, and I flipped her off before grabbing my bag and heading back into school.

Her door was ajar, and I stuck my head into her room.

“Come in, Lo,” Miss Tamson beckoned me inside.

“You wanted to talk to me about something?” I took a seat and she leaned back in her chair, her kind gaze assessing me.

“I heard Maverick pulled it off? You must be very proud.”

“I am,” I said.

He’d improved his score in the SAT and decided to be honest about his dyslexia in his application to Steinbeck, but he still hadn’t heard from them.

“And how is everything else?”

I shrugged, unsure of what to say. Like Coach Callahan, she knew more than most because we’d needed her help. But she didn’t know enough to fully understand.

“Lo, I’m not blind.” She smiled warmly. “I see things, hear things. I won’t pry. Whatever is going on with Maverick and Mr. Prince, well it’s none of my business, but I wanted to check in with you. See how you’re doing? None of this can be easy?”

“I—” My throat tightened. “I’m okay.”

Her smile slipped. “You can talk to me, Lo. I’m not here to judge.”

I picked at the hem of my t-shirt not really knowing where she was going with all of this.

“You’ve been here a while now and junior year is almost over. I know we agreed in our last meeting to wait until after the summer to think about college, but I’ve taken a look at your grades and I think the sooner you start thinking about your future, the better.”

“I—” The colour drained from my face as my chest tightened.

“Lo?”

“I haven’t really thought about it,” I choked out.

“I expected as much. Which is why I pulled some information together for you.” She leaned forward and slid a thick folder toward me.

“What is this?” I fingered the packet as if it was infected with a contagious disease.

“Some colleges you might want to take a look at. Mostly in-state, a couple further afield. Your teachers all report you have a natural flare for the Arts. Maybe that’s something you could pursue?”

“I appreciate the help, Miss Tamson, I really do, but I haven’t thought much about college yet.”

Maybe I’d take a year out or get a job or volunteer. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I didn’t start college straight after graduation. Besides, it was still fifteen months away.

“Can I ask you something?”

“I guess.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“Excuse me?” My eyebrows knitted together.

“You’re a bright girl, Lo. You arrived in a new town, started a new high school, and applied yourself with little issue. Your grades are far above average for an international transfer student and your teachers have been more than impressed with your work ethic. Honestly, with your GPA and a good SAT score in the autumn you could have your pick of schools. So, I’ll ask you again, what’s stopping you?”

I stared at her, all kind eyes and warm smile. Miss Tamson was the kind of person you wanted to tell all your secrets to. Which worked in her favour since she was the school’s guidance counsellor. But I didn’t have the answers she was looking for.

Not right now.

Expectation lingered in her eyes, so I did the only thing I knew would get her off my back. “Thanks, I’ll take a look.” I clasped the packet to me and forced a smile. Her whole face lit up with victory. But I knew I wouldn’t open it.

Not today.

I stood to leave, and she said, “We’ll talk again soon.”

When she’d want answers.

When I’d have to make decisions about my future.

Whether I wanted to or not.

~

“Do you wish you were there?” Laurie eyed me sideways before shovelling a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Yeah.”

The guilt I felt from telling Maverick I wouldn’t go to Sacramento was coiled so tightly around my heart it hurt. But I couldn’t be there and pretend. It was too much to ask.

Too much to bear.

Her phone vibrated, and she snatched it off the table, colour flooding her cheeks as she read the text message.

“My annoying cousin by any chance?”

“I—hmm…”

“Laurie?”

Her face was bright red as she slipped her phone in her hoodie pocket.

“Who was that?”

“No one.”

“Laurie,” I warned, not liking where this was going.

“Fine.” She flopped back into the big cushions. “It’s Jared.”

“Jared? As in Devon’s friend Jared?”

“Yeah. He keeps texting me.”

“I…” My mouth snapped shut as I tried to process. “Let me get this straight, you’ve been worried about Kyle possibly cheating and you’re texting another guy?”

“No. No!” Her voice went shrill. “It isn’t like that. I would never…”

“Laurie, you better start talking. Now.”

“He’s always had a thing for me. You saw how he was that day at the beach last year. But he knows I love Kyle. He’s only…”

“A dog?”

“Ugh. I don’t know. Kyle has been acting so weird and Jared saw—”

“What? What did he see?”

“He saw us fighting at school. Kyle stormed off and I was upset. He came over and asked me if I was okay.”

“You need to stay away from him, Laurie. You’re playing a dangerous game.”

Kyle might have been keeping things from her, but he wasn’t cheating. He wouldn’t. He didn’t deserve… well, whatever this was.

“I would never cheat on Kyle, Lo. But Jared is…”

“A dog,” I snapped.

“It’s not like that.” Her eyes bore into mine. “I promise. He’s a… friend.”

“And does Kyle know about your new friend?” I raised an eyebrow and Laurie dropped her head, telling me all I needed to know.

“That’s not fair,” she whispered. “You know how Kyle gets. Maverick’s the same. It’s suffocating sometimes. And he’s shutting me out. Whatever’s happening with him, he won’t tell me. Jared cares. That’s all.”

Oh, I didn’t doubt Jared cared—about getting in Laurie’s pants.

“Look, Laurie,” I softened my voice. “I know he’s acting weird. I know you’re worried, but talk to him. Do you really want to make things worse by giving him reason to think you’re going behind his back?”

“You’re right. I know you’re right. And despite what you might think, I haven’t been leading Jared on. He knows I love Kyle. He knows I want to work things out with him. I’ll tell him,”—she snatched her phone back out of her hoodie—“I’ll tell him right now, I can’t text him anymore.”

“Good.” I folded my arms across my chest and watched as she sent the message.

When she was done her voice squeaked, “You won’t tell Kyle, right?”

“No,” I said. “But I won’t lie either. If he asks me, I’ll tell him the truth.”

“That’s fair, I guess. Gosh, I don’t know what’s going on with me lately.”

“I do.” I nudged her with my shoulder. “You love him.”

“Yeah.” She let out a strangled laugh. “And it’s driving me crazy.”

“Hey, who said it was easy?”

“Oh, this is it.” Laurie clapped her hands together focusing on the screen. “Here they come.”

I watched, waiting to catch a glimpse of Maverick. Hoping to avoid seeing Caitlin. And my eyes slid sideways to my friend again. Maybe I’d been too harsh on her. She loved Kyle. She wouldn’t stray. But she wasn’t wrong.

Love was enough to drive you insane.