Maverick

“Shit, Lo, we overslept.”

“What? Huh?” Her voice was thick with sleep as she roused in my arms. “What time is it?” She smiled at me through half-opened eyes.

“Seven-thirty.” I brushed my lips overs hers in a lingering kiss. “You need to go before someone realizes you’re not in your room.” Pulling my arm free, I threw back the covers and started yanking on my jeans. 

Lo stretched her body with a soft sigh and my dick jumped to attention. Fuck. What I wouldn’t do to climb back into bed and lose myself in her again. But I’d be losing a lot more if anyone found her in here. Naked. In my bed.

Grabbing her sweater off the floor, I balled it up and threw it at her. “Put this on. You have ten minutes before I drag you out of here and throw you in the pool for a morning dip.”

Her eyes snapped to mine, and she tried her best to glower at me, but she looked too damn cute. I chuckled, running a brisk hand over my head, and left her to it. I needed coffee or a cold shower. Anything to calm my racing pulse and the urges rushing through me.

When I’d woken with Lo wrapped around me, her face buried in my chest, her silky hair plastered everywhere, it took a few seconds for my brain to register. It was the first time she'd stayed over after two weeks of stolen kisses and dry humping in the back of my Audi. I’d stayed at her place once when Uncle Rob was out of town for business but other than that, time alone was a luxury we didn't have.

For a second, I wondered if it was real; if she was truly here, in my arms. Lo had that effect on me. Shifted some of the unrest in my chest. Made me believe things could be okay, that the darkness living inside of me could be erased. But then the memories came quick and fast, a surge of waves crashing against the shore. Christmas Dinner. All the talk of college. Mom’s pale face as she tried to cover for him. Lo asking me questions—too many fucking questions. I’d surprised myself when I’d answered her. But she was right, if we were really doing this, I needed to let her in. Even if it went against my default setting of shutting everyone out.

But Lo wasn’t everyone.

Not even close.

Since that very first night, last summer, she’d reached me in a way no other had. Maybe it was because she didn’t know who I was. She wasn't driven by some ulterior motive to get close to me. She didn’t want to use me to get to my dad or to win some popularity contest. I was no one to her and yet, she cared enough to ask me if I was okay. To stay with me, despite being a rabbit caught in the headlights. 

To give herself to me.

Shit. 

I’d really fucked up that night. And almost every other day since she arrived in Wicked Bay. The things I’d said, how I’d treated her… she deserved better. But it was all for her. To protect her from becoming collateral damage in the shitstorm of my life.

The second I felt her enter the room, I turned slowly, drinking in the sight of her, bed hair and all. “Morning,” I said, trying to disguise the emotion in my voice. Lo had barreled into my life and turned my world upside down, but I didn't want to play all my cards, not yet. Not with so much on the line. Because once she found out the truth, there was every chance Lo would fold, and I'd lose her. 

I couldn't lose her. Not now I knew the curves of her body. The taste of her lips. How perfect she fit against me.

I just couldn't.

“Hey.” A deep blush spread up her neck and into her cheeks as she tugged her sweater down, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her there, right in that very spot. “Do we have time for coffee?”

My eyes flickered to the window. There was no sign of life from the main house yet, and I figured if anyone was stirring, Kyle would send a signal. He might have enjoyed seeing me get chewed out by Gentry or my mom, but he wouldn’t do that to Lo. She had him wrapped around her finger almost as much as me.

“Sure, if we're quick.”

She sat at one of the stools while I turned on the coffee maker. “You have done this before, right?” Amusement laced her voice, and I glanced over my shoulder with a scowl, but Lo shrugged. “I just figured that with Loretta around you never had to fend for yourself.” She smirked around her words. Taunting me. 

“You think I'm spoiled?” I acted insulted. 

Lo tilted her head to one side and chewed her bottom lip before replying, “Aren't you?”

I was on her before she could escape. My fingers dug into her sides, tickling and squeezing. Lo shrieked, trying to fight me off, but I was bigger. Stronger. And she'd known exactly what she was doing when she baited me.

“Maverick, stop. Stop,” she panted, pressing her face into my shoulder to drown out her pained laughter. 

“I never had you down as ticklish.” I'd have to remember that. 

My touches became slower, surer, and she gasped for breath. “Maverick... Rick. Stop. Stop, I'm sorry.” It came out muffled.

“Sorry,” I said. “What was that?”

Lo pulled back and met my eyes. “I'm sorry, okay. I take it back.”

My fingers brushed back and forth in gentle movements and she pressed her lips together to contain her cries... or were they moans?

“Does that feel good?” I cocked my head, and she stared at me, squirming on the chair as my hand moved lower, skating across her bare thighs. Over the scars she still refused to talk about. I knew they from the accident but Lo wouldn’t go there. And I’d tried. More than once, I’d tried to get her to open up. I guess we were both strangers to letting other people in.

“You really should have put on pants,” I leaned in close, whispering in her ear, and Lo shivered as I ran my hand up the inside of her thigh. It rippled through her body like a shockwave and it was my turn to smirk. As I pulled away, my lips grazed her ear… her cheek… the corner of her mouth.

Fuck, I would never get enough of her.

“Too bad we have to get back to the house,” I said against her lips before I pulled away fully.

Her palms slammed into my chest and I staggered back with a whoosh of breath. Lo slid off the stool and made her escape, mumbling something about my unfair games, and continued with the coffee.

“I'm proud of you,” the words tumbled out and her head snapped up to mine as she added sugar to the mugs.

“You are?”

“For yesterday, for keeping it together in front of Stella.”

“I didn't do it for her.” 

“I know.”

I'd seen how painful it was for her. Watched as she tamped down the urge to bolt every time Stella spoke or laughed or so much as looked in Lo's direction. She was a better person than me because if it had been me in her shoes I doubted things would have played out so smoothly. 

Lo pushed my mug across the counter with a heavy sigh. “She's not going anywhere. I guess I have to get used to it.”

“Your dad, he seems happy.”

“Yeah.” Lo's gaze moved to the window that looked out on the house. “I still don't understand it, though. I've tried to process it but it's like my mind can't unravel it all. It’s too much.”

I caught her hand and tugged her around to me, trapping her between my legs. “Give it time.”

She didn't answer, too lost in her thoughts. 

“Wait here a minute.” I dropped a kiss on her head and switched us, helping Lo onto the stool. “Wha—” she started, but I was already moving. When I'd spotted it in a store downtown, I knew I had to get it for her. 

After retrieving the package from its safe place in my nightstand drawer, I returned to Lo. She eyed my hands and said, “Maverick?”

“I don’t think I got to say it yesterday, but Merry Christmas, Lo.” I kissed her again. Just a quick peck but it was still like a bolt of thunder in my chest, then I handed her the gift.

“Merry Christmas,” she swallowed as her fingers traced the edge of the parcel in her hands. “What is it?”

“Open it and see.” I ran a brisk hand over my head, a sudden burst of nerves flooding my chest. What if she didn't understand? What if she didn't like it? What if it was too soon?

“You got this, for me?” She stared at the journal in her hands and then slowly slid her tear-filled eyes to mine. “It's beautiful.”

“I saw it and it reminded me of your tattoo.” The black floral design was handstitched into the silk material binding the journal. 

“It does, it's...” her voice wobbled. “Maverick, this is... I don't have words. I love it.” She clutched it to her chest and leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine. My fingers slid into her hair, anchoring us together as I ran my tongue along the seam of her mouth. Lo let me in, let me take what I needed. When I was one second away from hauling her back to the bedroom, I pulled away.

“I thought it might help,” I breathed out. “Writing stuff down.” Miss Tamson had suggested it to me more than once over the last year. But my answer was always the same.

“I- I used to keep a diary, when I was younger.” She swallowed, and I saw tears in her eyes. “Thank you, this is… it’s perfect, Maverick. I feel bad now, though. I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t think—”

“Stop.” I cupped her jaw, staring at her. “I don’t need anything from you, Lo. Just you.”

“You mean that?” I gave her a pointed look and she blushed again. And then she said, “You really think they’ll be upset?”

“Gentry won’t be happy. He thinks I’m a bad influence.”

Lo placed her gift on the counter and looped her arms around my neck. “I like your bad influence.” A suggestive smile tugged at her lips and I gave her a smirk of my own.

“Is that right?”

She nodded up at me through thick lashes and I leaned in again to kiss her, but she leaned back out of reach. “But I don’t like the idea of you getting hurt, Maverick.”

“Lo,” I warned. She’d asked me once about the fighting, the day after the dance. And I’d told her then, she didn’t need to worry.

“I just want to understand,” the uncertainty in her whisper crushed me, but I couldn’t tell her. Not that. Anything but that.

“It's just something I need right now.”

“But—”

“I'm not doing this, Lo, not today. Not now.” I moved away from her. 

“You were hurt, Maverick. You got hurt.”

My body went rigid as I clenched my jaw.

“Maverick.” The inflection in her voice cooled the molten lava running through my veins, just enough for me to look at her. “I didn’t mean to push. I just,” she swallowed. “I care about you, a lot.”

Closing the distance between us, I looked at Lo. Really looked at her. We were both broken. Products of our fucked-up pasts. But where I wanted to hurt and feel pain, she wanted to fix and make everything better.

“This is who I am, Lo. I’m not the good guy. I fight. I lose my shit and see red. It lives inside of me and when it gets too much, I have to let it out.”

“What happened to you?” Her voice was a gentle caress and it would have been so easy to tell her. To bare the demons that haunted me. But I couldn’t do it. Not now. Maybe not ever.

I gathered her against me, tucking her head into the space between my jaw and chest. Lo’s fingers curled into my t-shirt and we stood there in silence. I knew what I was asking of her was a lot. But I also knew she had her own demons. Things she still hadn’t laid to rest. And when—if—the time was right, she’d tell me.

“I want you, Lo,” I said. “I want this. But there are some things I need to handle myself.”

I wish it could be different. I wish I could be the kind of guy who deserves you. But I didn’t say the words. Because I was a selfish prick.

“Okay.”

It was so quiet I almost missed it but Lo wiggled free, craning her neck up at me. “I trust you. When you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be here.”

As I stared down at her—the girl who held my heart in the palm of her hand—I knew I was going to hell. One way or another, my secrets would ruin us. But it was too late to walk away.

Because in the end, maybe I was more like my father than I wanted to admit.