CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Billie stretched out on the sofa in the small flat that overlooked the Seine that the studio had rented for her and Sierra. Not fancy but it was clean and comfortable with two small bedrooms, a living room, bathroom, and a kitchen even smaller than the one she’d had in Tyler’s cottage. None of that mattered, however, as the best part of their little Parisian home wasn’t its space or amenities. It was the location in the sixteenth district on the west side of the city. The quiet streets were lined with shops and charming cafes that looked just like what she’d imagined they would. This particular district had a population of Americans so she and Sierra could easily communicate with the waiters and shopkeepers.
“What time is my call tomorrow?” she asked Sierra who was sipping on a small glass of red wine. She, too, had her feet up after a long day on the set.
“Six and can I say that I never realized that the studios work the actors and actresses quite this hard. You all make it look so glamorous when in reality they’re working you to death behind the scenes. This will be your seventh day in a row of working more than fourteen hours. Yesterday you worked eighteen.”
“But I have two days off after tomorrow.” Billie shrugged. It was the nature of the movie business. “You have to admit there is lots of downtime. I can usually get in a nap. The low budget indie films that I’ve done in the past all filmed fast. Very fast. We worked incredibly long hours and I was busy for most of that time. We’d do several scenes in one day and we’d be finished in a few weeks. This is new for me too.”
“Sam says we’re on schedule so I guess that’s good.” Sierra took another sip of her wine. “You’ll be able to get back to Tyler on time.”
It was funny how Billie and her sister had picked up their sibling relationship so easily after the years of estrangement. Until Sierra had met Brian they’d been close, sharing secrets and talking over their issues and problems.
“Is there something you want to say? Because if there is you should just say it. You’ve never been one to beat around the bush to spare my delicate feelings,” Billie said with a laugh. She’d been receiving some serious looks from Sierra, not just at this moment but all week.
“Fine, then I will. What is going on with you two? Are you together? Are you apart? Or you on a break? If a reporter stops me on the street and asks me about you what should I tell them?”
“To mind their own business and call my publicist,” Billie shot back, then remembered that her publicist was Garrett whom she wasn’t speaking to at the moment.
Mental note. Ask Sam if he’d recommend his publicist.
“Funny. I’m being serious here.”
“So am I.”
Swinging her legs down from the ottoman, Sierra faced her sister. “If you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s fine.”
It wasn’t that. It was that there wasn’t anything new to say.
“I feel like it’s all we’ve talked about and I’m exhausted from it. I don’t know what I should do. If you were me, what would you do?”
At her wit’s end, Billie still didn’t have a clue as to how she was supposed to handle a situation like this. She loved Tyler, she wanted to be with him, but he’d hurt her. There was no denying that. Maybe it was simply going to take time.
“I don’t think you want my opinion.”
Sierra had been careful the past few weeks to be sympathetic but non-committal as to how Billie should have reacted when she found the file.
“I do,” Billie pressed. “This affects you too. That folder contains your past as well.”
Sierra smiled sweetly. “Except that no cares about my past. You’re the one in the spotlight.”
“Still…it had to be a shock to read some of that. I know it was for me.”
Her smile vanished and a far more sober expression took its place. “In a way. I knew Mom had a lot of issues so it wasn’t a shock. I’d say it was more of a surprise. Sort of a milder form of shock. I hope she’s resting in peace now. I think she was a very unhappy woman.”
That Sierra could be so forgiving of their mother’s behavior amazed Billie. “So you’ve made your peace with her?”
“You haven’t? It might be time.” Sierra stood and walked over to the windows, staring out at the starry night sky. “She was sick and she did the best she could. That’s what we’re all trying to do in this world.”
“She made a lot of mistakes.”
“So have I,” Sierra replied softly. “Maybe this world would be a little kinder if we stopped judging people so harshly and cut them just a little bit of slack. We don’t know what led to her alcoholism but I do know that it destroyed her life. I don’t remember one day where she was happy, do you? Think about that because we shouldn’t hate her. We should feel sorry for her.”
“You’re a better person than I am.”
“No,” Sierra said, shaking her head. “I’m just beaten up by life, just like she was. Mom wasn’t strong enough to fight her demons and for a long time I thought I wasn’t either. What are your demons?”
No one had ever asked that. Not directly, anyway.
“I don’t know,” Billie said. “Tyler says I lack trust.”
Sierra nodded in agreement. “We both do. That’s an effect of our childhood.”
“You didn’t say what yours was,” Billie reminded her sister. “Only that you didn’t think you could fight it.”
“My demon is that I never feel good enough so I expect the worst treatment from people.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s my demon too.”
“I didn’t say it was. I was only answering your question.”
“I mean…I don’t think I have a self-esteem problem.” Billie wasn’t sure she liked where this conversation was going. “I don’t think Tyler’s too good for me.”
“Good. Because he’s not.”
“In many ways he’s lucky to have me.”
Sierra picked up her wine glass and took a sip. “I agree.”
“So it’s not that I don’t think I’m good enough.”
“Okay.”
Billie had had enough. “Just say it. You know you want to.”
Shaking her head, Sierra placed her glass in the sink. “I’ll ask you a question instead. Is Tyler a good man?”
“Of course he is. I wouldn’t be with someone who wasn’t. He truly cares about people and he always tries his best. He’d give you the shirt off of his back if you needed it.”
“Then I think you can work this out.” Turning toward the bedrooms, Sierra paused. “I’m going to bed. We have a big day tomorrow. You probably should too after you make your phone call. Goodnight.”
Phone call? Billie wasn’t planning to make–
Wait. Yes, she was.
Tyler Gaylord was a good man. Literally the best Billie had ever known. If he kept that stupid folder then she was simply going to have to get over it, because he wasn’t the type to hurt her on purpose.
Just as Sierra had said…sometimes people make mistakes and we need to give them a break. We need to be kinder.
I need to forgive and move on. He’s not perfect even if I sometimes think he is.
Grabbing her phone from her purse, she dialed his number and waited for him to pick up but it eventually went to voicemail. Unsure what to say, she ended the call. If he saw that he’d missed a call maybe he’d call her back. Although that begged the question why he’d missed the call at all. His phone was practically glued to his hand at all times. He’d answered every text she’d sent him since arriving in Paris within seconds.
Had he grown tired of waiting for her? Was Tyler done? Maybe she’d waited too long.