CHAPTER FIVE
Tyler had laid out his quandary for Billie. He’d explained about the movie role, although they’d discussed it before and how much he wanted it. He’d explained about the director Ron Weller and how he didn’t think a person could act in love unless they’d actually been in love, plus his preference for actors who had settled down and didn’t party. Then to put the cherry on top of the sundae, Tyler had explained that the only person he could possibly stand to be around that much was her. He’d thought she’d be complimented.
“It won’t even change things all that much, babe. You can even keep your last name if you want.”
She was looking at him as if he’d lost his mind, which he was sure he hadn’t. It was the smartest idea he’d ever come up with. It was perfect. She was perfect.
“What do you mean things won’t change? Dear Lord, we’ll be married.” She shoved at his shoulder. “That’s a change. A big one, idiot.”
“It doesn’t have to be a big change.”
She shook her head, her eyes wide. “Have you even thought this through? I mean, I know you’re impetuous but this is beyond anything you’ve ever done. Let me ask you this…after we’re married…where will I live?”
That was a silly question. “With me, of course. Husbands and wives live together.”
“So that would be a change. How about another question? Would I travel with you? Because that would be different.”
Billie was throwing up roadblocks where there didn’t have to be any. “Sure, if you want to. If you weren’t working. Why wouldn’t you travel with me? And you have traveled with me, Billie. You’ve visited me on several movie sets.”
“So that would be another change,” she stated. “Already we have two big changes. I’m sure there are more.”
Why was she making this so difficult? Couldn’t she see how this would help not just him but her as well? She hated to take any assistance in her career but being his wife would give her connections that could make all the difference.
“Billie, I know I’m asking a lot but I cannot lose this role. I just can’t.”
Cocking her head, she regarded him steadily. “Do you? Do you really and truly understand what you’re asking because I’m not sure you get it. Marriage is a commitment even if as you say it won’t be forever. It’s still a promise that I would make to you.”
Was she worried about not being allowed to date other guys? Love and men had never been high on her priority list in the past.
“You’re not even dating anyone, are you?”
That was apparently the wrong question to ask because her face turned red and she jumped to her feet to pace the small space.
“No, I’m not but you didn’t know that for sure and you’ve already assumed that I’d say yes. Why on earth did you think I’d say yes to something like this, Tyler?”
Swallowing hard, he was beginning to see that she wasn’t thinking about this as some run of the mill request. He knew it was major but she’d give him a kidney. Was a marriage license a much bigger deal than a kidney? “Because we always said we’d do anything for each other. This is much less of a risk than burying a body for me or giving me a vital organ. It’s just a piece of paper, Billie.”
Abruptly she stopped pacing, her fingers pressed against her temples. “It’s marriage. Do you even know what that means? We’d get up in front of witnesses and say vows.”
He was starting to see what it meant to her. “It wouldn’t be forever.”
“That makes it worse.”
He threw up his hands. “Make me understand here because you’ve lost me. I’m asking you to marry me to help me get what is probably the most important role of my career. You wouldn’t have to be married to me for the rest of your life. How many Hollywood marriages survive? Just a couple of years. I’ll make sure you’re well taken care of when it’s over. Whatever you want. You name it.”
Her face had gone pale and she took two steps away from him. “Are you trying to buy me, Tyler Christopher Gaylord?”
The shit had really hit the fan when Billie used his middle name. He was in some big fucking trouble and he needed to step carefully.
“It would be a business arrangement, baby girl, so of course you would be compensated. Think of it as the ultimate acting gig.”
Sitting back down, she buried her face in her hands for a long moment before looking up at him. “Let me try this again. First, I’m upset that you told your publicist that we’re engaged without speaking with me. It was high-handed and presumptuous. Pretty much all the things that you are. Second, despite my background and lackluster family situation, I do take something like marriage seriously. It’s…sacred. You say vows in front of family and friends. You sign a paper and make promises. I’m not sure I can do that knowing I don’t intend to keep any of them. Jesus, Tyler, your parents have been married like forty-five years. How can you take this so lightly?”
This was turning out to be much more difficult than he’d pictured.
* * *
Clearly Tyler had been hit on the head at some point during the day and now he was suffering from a serious break with reality. He wanted to get married. To her – Billie Oliver. But not for forever. Just for awhile. Just long enough to make a movie and promote it. Maybe attend a few award shows.
Billie wasn’t a naive Hollywood virgin. She knew the drill. Relationships were often more business out here than emotional. Girls and guys calculated what and who could give them a leg up in the industry and they considered it the cost of doing business. She was proud of the fact that she hadn’t slept her way into a role and she wanted to keep it that way.
But that brought up another question she was afraid to ask… Did he expect them to have sex? Was he planning to be faithful? Because Tyler Gaylord couldn’t go too long without some intimate female companionship. She’d seen that with her own two eyes these last five years. He had a high sex drive. Like Mount Everest high.
Right now, his expression was contrite but hopeful. “Listen, I’m sorry that I told Garrett that we were engaged but it honestly never occurred to me that you would react like this. Shit, you’re ten times more practical than I am, always thinking about business and being professional. I figured if I hadn’t thought of this, you would have.”
Tyler made a good point. It was something that she might have come up with and suggested, the difference being she wouldn’t have put herself forth as a candidate.
“I admit it’s not the worst idea in the world,” she replied carefully, not wanting him to get his hopes up. The answer was still a resounding no. “But can’t you hire someone to do this? I can think of a half a dozen actresses off the top of my head that would give their fake boobs to do this. Hell, they’d pay you.”
He was already shaking his head no. “No way am I going to get involved with some actress who is looking for the main chance. I’ve seen that go south more times than I can count. The only way I would do this is with someone I can trust implicitly. That’s a short list, babe, and you’re at the top of it.”
As gratifying as it was to hear that, she wasn’t going to marry him.
“Tyler,” she began again, needing him to understand. “I love you. You know that, right? And I’ve always said that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, but I guess we found a limit. Marriage is in a whole other category, karma-wise. It’s not something you play with even though I know here in Hollywood people do it all the time. I just can’t vow to love and honor you until death do us part while at the same time planning our divorce a few years later, after you win your Oscar.”
He sat across from her, placing his large hands on her knees, the warmth from his skin seeping through the denim of her jeans. “Babe, I love you too and no matter what you decide I always will. But I’m begging you here. Do you want me on my knees?” He dropped to his knees, making her want to climb over the back of the couch and hide. When he was like this he was hard to refuse. “I’ll beg and plead. This role feels like it was written for me. I can feel this character in my bones and heart, deep down into my soul. If you don’t want a contract that specifies an end date then we’ll just play it by ear. Heck, we might even really enjoy being married to each other. We can have so much fun, babe. Even more than we have now because we’ll be together. Parties, travel, movies. I’d love to work with you. We can do it all but you have to say yes.”
For a moment she was tempted. The part about working with Tyler was something she’d always wanted. He was a consummate actor and she’d played opposite him when she’d helped him rehearse but never in a real, live production.
Reaching out, she cupped his face in her hands, tears pricking the back of her eyes. Disappointing Tyler was the last thing she wanted to do but how could she do something that deep down she felt was wrong? This wasn’t how she’d pictured being proposed to.
“I just can’t,” she said softly, watching his expression fall. “I’ve never said no to you, Tyler. Not about something important, anyway, but today I have to do it. Marriage isn’t a toy you take out to play with whenever you get the urge. It’s a commitment that I don’t take lightly. When I get married – if I ever get married – I want it to be because I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life without that other person. I want them to be my soulmate, the reason I breathe and get up in the morning. I want to be head over heels, helplessly in love. I’m so sorry. So very sorry.”
Sitting back on his heels, he gazed down at the floor. “I never realized what a romantic you were, babe.”
Shrugging awkwardly, she swallowed the lump that had taken up residence in her throat. Her little speech had shocked her as well. “I guess I am. More than I knew.”
Raising his head, their gazes collided as his fingers tightened on her legs. “I’d do anything to make you happy, Billie. I know I don’t look it but I think I could be a decent husband to you. I’d treat you right.”
He’d try but would old habits come back to haunt them? As one of the premiere movie stars in the world, rules simply didn’t apply to him like they did to other mortals.
Standing, she rested her palm on the top of his head, struggling to keep the tears at bay. Saying no to the one person in the world who had treated her like family was tearing her apart. It would have been easier to give him part of her liver.
“I think you should go.”
He also rose to his feet, his arms falling to his sides, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
“Promise me you’ll think more about this.”
It was almost funny if it hadn’t been so tragic. “I doubt I’ll think of little else.”
Tyler turned and walked out of the cottage without another word but she knew this wasn’t over. He hadn’t reached the pinnacle of his career by being a quitter. Tyler Gaylord had more than his share of perseverance and grit. He’d be back after he thought of something else to sweeten the pot. She’d need to be ten times stronger to resist.
Or maybe he wouldn’t come back. Maybe he was done with her. By saying no had she ruined the only good thing she’d ever had in her life? Had she just broken her own home?