I had been going back and forth between the hospital, Freezy Sweet, and the shelter so much that I’d forgotten there was anywhere else to go. For the next two days I essentially only stopped at home to sleep and shower, and the only small comfort was that I could share the bed with Adam.

And God, did Adam ever pick up the slack. He helped with Chewy, every morning, afternoon and night, and stayed back with her when I spent all my free time at the hospital with my mom.

It soon became obvious that it was kind of unnecessary—my mom seemed completely normal, and after they started her on a blood pressure medication, it had been stable for the full two days. My mom held court in her hospital room, and she’d seemed to have made at least two new friends—an older man with a Texas accent from down the hall who came to visit and a middle-aged woman who had brought in cookies my mom was strictly forbidden to eat, but snuck in anyway.

Overall, she seemed to be doing better than ever. She asked about Adam more than I would have expected, which was a little strange. At the end of the second night, the doctor told me that they’d keep her for one more day, just to make sure the medication wasn’t causing any long-term side effects, and then they would let her go.

At around 11 p.m. I finally headed home. I’d been taking the bus to and from the hospital, feeling too guilty or proud to ask Adam to shuffle me back and forth every single time, though I’m sure he would have offered.

Because Adam was preternaturally nice. Kind, and giving, and willing to drop everything to help me and my mom. I still kind of couldn’t believe it, and as I stared at the fogged-up bus windows on my way home, I tried to think of what I could do to repay Adam for all the help he’d been. My little terrariums and mangoes weren’t going to cut it anymore. I needed to give him something better, I just didn’t know what.

When I got back to my house I saw that the light was on inside, and I knew that meant Adam would be there. I unlocked the door and opened it to find Adam sleeping on the couch with a book resting on his chest, Chewy lying on his lap. It was such a beautiful moment, but was quickly gone when Adam sat up, waking up from his slumber, which made the book slide off him onto the floor. Chewy also sprang into action, leaping off the couch and bounding toward me in greeting.

“Hey,” Adam said, his voice a little groggy with sleep.

“Hi,” I said with a deep sigh. “They’re making her stay one more night. Probably for the better, I guess.” I crossed the room and sat on the couch next to Adam, sinking my body against him almost involuntarily.

“Alright,” he said, standing up and holding out a hand. “You’re gonna lie face down on the bed, and I’m gonna massage you.”

“Adam, I’m so tired—”

“I promise this isn’t me trying to get you into bed and fuck. Although if you end up wanting that, I sure as hell won’t say no.”

I snorted.

“Seriously,” he said. “I just want to help you be less tense. It’s been a hell of a few days.”

“It really has,” I said, standing up and crossing over to my bed. I lay face down and let him begin working out the knots in my shoulders. “Jesus, that feels so fucking good,” I said.

“You say that every time I massage you,” Adam said.

“Yeah, well that’s ‘cause you’re goddamn good at it,” I murmured, my face squished to the side of a pillow.

For a while we were silent, and I just gave into the exquisite sensation of him working over my taut muscles. It made my mind blank, which it hadn’t been in days, and that in itself was a treasure.

“You’re so damn good to me, Adam,” I murmured after a while.

“I try,” he said, moving his hands to flank my spine in the middle of my back.

“No, you fucking succeed,” I said. “Why are you so good to me?”

His hands stilled for a moment, resting flat and warm against my back, before they started working over me again. “Because I care about you, Grey, duh,” he said. “I mean, I try to be good to everyone unless they give me a reason not to be, but… you’re special.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“What?” he said. “You’re hilarious, and sweet, and sexy as hell, and helpful, and… I admire that you’re dedicated to following your dream.”

“My dream?”

“Of moving to Portland. Finally getting out of Fox Hollow.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, suddenly anxious at the thought. “If I can even still do that.”

“What are you talking about?” Adam said, pausing again.

“I mean, shit, Adam,” I said. “You saw what a fucking wreck I was. All I did was go on vacation and I freaked out about not being able to be there for my mom. If I move away, who is she going to have?”

“I mean, she has friends, right?”

“Not really. I don’t know. Part of me just… doesn’t trust her to take care of herself.”

“How so?”

I thought for a minute. “Like if I leave her to her own devices, she doesn’t do simple things like the dishes, because it hurts her hip to stand there too long. Same with watering the plants. And beyond that, she also still smokes, despite everything, and doesn’t really pay any mind to her diet.”

“That’s tough,” Adam said, working his hands to my lower back. “Really tough. But… it shouldn’t be solely your responsibility, either.”

I took in a deep breath. “I know. Deep down, I know that. But it doesn’t make it easy to just pack up and leave.”

Adam released his hands from me, and then his weight shifted, moving closer toward my face. I leaned upward slightly, looking him in the eye.

“Grey, you can’t seriously be thinking about staying in Fox Hollow, right?”

I cast my eyes down, and hitched one shoulder up in a shrug. “I don’t know.”

“You hate it here. You can’t give up on your dreams.”

I looked up again, meeting his gaze. “Well… it wouldn’t be all bad, would it?” I said.

He furrowed his brow at me. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about… you. About us. Like… I know we’ve been ignoring talking about the end, but I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say neither one of us is looking forward to being away from one another.”

Adam shook his head, still looking at me with concern.

“So… maybe I’m just being a big baby, wanting to move out of Fox Hollow so bad. Maybe I should suck it up, and just live in a place I don’t love, because my mom’s here and… and because you’re here.”

“Grey,” Adam said, narrowing his eyes and sitting up straight on the bed. I sat up fully, now, too, on the edge of the bed with Adam.

“What?” I said, challenging him.

“You can’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“…just stay here because I’m here. That wouldn’t be right. It’s more important to live your life how is best for you than it is to stay in a place you hate for me. You’ll grow to resent it, Grey, and you know it.”

I kept my eyes down at the floor. “Fuck,” I said finally. “I know you’re probably right. Of course you are.” I buried my face in my hands, resting my elbows on my thighs. Suddenly I felt like I might almost be about to cry again, the overwhelming emotion hitting me like a brick: my mom, having to leave Adam, the weight of all my decisions. “I just don’t know what to fucking do,” I said, realizing with embarrassment that I wasn’t able to keep myself from crying.

The warm weight of Adam’s arm fell over my shoulder, holding me.

“Grey,” he said softly. “Things will work out. Really, they will. I know it seems… insurmountable right now, but I know you will pull through this.”

I let out another embarrassing sob, sniffling. “Ugh,” I said, wiping my eyes with the heel of my hand, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

I took a deep, shuddering breath, looking up at the ceiling. “I hope this doesn’t sound bad,” I said, “but I kind of just want to go to sleep. I’m so fucking mentally wrecked and I just can’t handle anything else right now.”

“Absolutely,” Adam said. “I can go home.”

“No,” I said, too forcefully. “No,” I repeated a little more gently, grabbing hold of his hand. “Will you stay with me?”

He smiled softly, nodding at me. “I’ll stay.”

I got up briefly only to strip off my pants and socks, tucking back under the covers in my boxers and t-shirt. Adam got in next to me and turned off the small lamp, and I wrapped my body around him, laying my limbs across his bulk.

“Thank you, Adam,” I whispered as I felt myself pulled toward sleep by exhaustion.

He hummed against me, stroking a hand against my hair, a repetitive pattern that only lulled me further to sleep.

And then Adam did something amazing, something that he only rarely did: he started humming, low and deep, the gentle melody of some song he must have written on guitar. Adam played guitar almost every day, but he rarely sang. The soft hum of his chest hit me like a lullaby as I fell asleep, surrounding me with a comfort I didn’t even know I needed.

I felt at home in his arms. And I drifted to sleep, my anxiety floating away into the ether.

* * *

“Tell me again what you’re not going to do,” I said to my mom, looking her sternly in the eyes.

“I am not going to eat any high salt, or high fat foods,” she said, sitting on the edge of her hospital bed, purse slung over the front of her walker. “I’ve got the approved grocery list from the doctor. I know what I’m allowed to get.”

“Good,” I said. “No sneaky Domino’s delivery.”

She shook her head. “Nope. You think I want to end up back in here again? I’m gonna try harder this time, Grey. I’ve never… had a scare like this one before.”

I bent down to give her a hug, feeling a genuine wave of affection.

“So you’ve got everything?” I said, giving one last glance around the hospital room before we left.

“I’ve got it all. Including Mark Borneil’s phone number,” she said, smiling up at me.

“What? Oh, is that the Texas guy?”

She nodded. “That is the Texas guy. Mark is great. Grey, I wasn’t gonna tell you yet, but… I think we might have something.”

I stared at her, wide-eyed. Have something? My mom hadn’t even considered dating at all in many years, most notably since she had to start using a walker. She’d always said “her time had passed her by,” and that her dating days were over.

“Mom,” I said, incredulous, “have you got a boyfriend?” A slow, wide smile spread across my face as a devilish one appeared on hers.

“Maybe,” she said with a little shrug. “And Grey, you’ll love this: Mark was a pack-a-day smoker until two years ago. Wanna know what got him to quit?” she said, rummaging in her purse. “This little guy. Electronic cigarette, I guess they call it, or a vapor pen?” She held up a little device.

“Wow,” I said, genuinely in shock that she was taking an actual step toward health.

“I really think this will help,” she said. “Mark gave it to me. He got me these little packs that have small amounts of nicotine and then some that don’t. For now I’m just using a blank, and I haven’t had many cravings at all.”

“Mom, that’s amazing,” I said. Some part of me knew that the vapor probably couldn’t be totally healthy, but it had to be better than cigarettes, so I figured it was worth a shot. My mom had been smoking forever, and if she had to take baby steps, it was worth taking.

I helped her stand up and get steady on her walker and then we crossed out into the hallway, moving slow down to the elevators, and then stopping at the financial desk at the lobby of the hotel.

“Hi,” I said. “Here to work out payment options for Barbara Foster. She was in room 309. I’m definitely going to need to put it on a payment plan—whatever the least amount per month is, I don’t care how many years it’ll take to pay it off.”

The unsmiling woman behind the computer desk clacked away at the keyboard for many moments.

“Barbara Foster?” she said. “Room 309, you said?”

“That’s right.”

The woman gave me a blank look. “I have here that Barbara Foster is already paid for. Pre-paid, lump sum.”

I blinked back at her. “No. It must be a mistake. I haven’t paid anything yet.”

“What is your date of birth, ma’am?”

“June 4^th, 1949,” she said.

“Yes. This is her record. She is fully paid, by credit card, two days ago. Name on the credit card is Adam Fara.”

I felt like the ground had dropped out from under me. “Adam?” I said.

The woman sighed, exasperated. “Yes, sir. The bill is paid. Do you need a receipt for that?”

I couldn’t tell if what I was feeling was shock, panic, anger, or disbelief. Really, it was all four. “Yes,” I said. “Give me a receipt. Fully itemized, if you could.” My mom looked over at me, eyes wide, but she didn’t say anything.

A minute later the clerk printed out the receipt, which was a many-paper stack, and after stapling it she handed it to me. “Thank you,” I said, and took a few steps away, standing by the wall to look over the packet.

It was true. Down at the bottom, there it was: Paid in Full, Adam Fara, with a date that was two days ago.

But it wasn’t just this hospital visit’s multi-thousand dollar bill that had been paid.

It was fucking everything.

All of my mom’s hospital bills, the ones I’d struggled for years to keep up with, scraping together every last dollar to pay on time, was gone. Paid. Over.

I felt tears forming at the corner of my eyes, such a strange sense of ultimate confusion mixed with a startling anger.

“Honey,” my mom finally said, “Did Adam pay for all this? How? Why? Good God, how the hell are we going to repay him for this?”

“I think I know how he did it,” I said. At first I had been profoundly confused—I knew Adam didn’t make a ton of money at all—but then I remembered. He had that inheritance money, money he never touched.

Which meant that Adam must have pitied me so much that he’d gone against his own principles, taking his father’s money to pay off all the medical bills.

I knew how I should have reacted. I should have been elated, should have jumped for joy at the fact that Adam had acted as a glorious benefactor, freeing me and my mom from a lifetime of medical bills.

But all I felt was a white-hot blind rage.

How could he have done this without even telling me? I didn’t know he had even planned to do it, hadn’t known he’d done it two days ago, and he hadn’t told me since then. Even though he’d probably meant to do it as a gift to me, it felt like a slap in the face.

It felt like Adam telling me that I wasn’t good enough to pay my own bills, so he’d go and do it for me. Like I couldn’t take care of it on my own. Couldn’t take care of my own mother by myself.

“We’re really going to have to talk with Adam, honey,” my mom said.

“Let’s just go home,” I said, my voice coming out strangled and strange. I folded the receipt roughly and shoved it into my back pocket. “I’ll deal with Adam. We just need to get you home.”

We got on the next bus home and I helped my mom get back to her house safe, setting everything up so that she could have a calm environment. I did her dishes. Took out the trash. Even vacuumed and cleaned her bathroom so that the whole house was spotless. It was probably overkill, but I had to get out my energy, and I knew Adam might still be at my house after walking Chewy, and I didn’t want to see him.

So I cleaned all afternoon and into the night. My mom told me I was doing too much, but I didn’t care. Finally, as the sky was starting to darken, I got a text from Adam.

>>ADAM: You okay? Still with your mom?

I swallowed hard, seeing his name on the screen. How could he act so nonchalant? How did he expect me to react to finding out he’d paid thousands and thousands of dollars of bills?

I couldn’t comprehend it. So I sent back the only thing I could think to write.

>>GREY: Yeah. Everything’s fine. I need to help her around the house though so I’m gonna be exhausted when I get back.

>>ADAM: Okay. I will be asleep but I’ll be here.

I took a deep breath.

>>GREY: Actually, if you don’t mind, I’d rather be alone tonight.

I got no response for a good 5 minutes. Then, just a short one.

>>ADAM: Okay. But if you need me, you know where to find me.

I put my phone back in my pocket. He must have known I’d seen the bill, right? He knew that I was getting my mom out of the hospital that night, and I didn’t see how he couldn’t realize I’d found out.

But I couldn’t deal with it. Not right now. I was too afraid that if I went home and Adam was there, I would say something stupid or something I’d regret. I couldn’t bear to see him, knowing now that he pitied me enough to go behind my back.