I woke up, still in Adam’s clothes, to the sound of his truck rumbling down the street. I heard it stop outside his house, the car door shutting, then the light squeak of his front door as it opened and then shut.

Finally I opened my eyes, thrown by how easily I could hear everything that was going on next door, and I quickly realized why—it wasn’t raining anymore; in fact, it was an intensely bright day, sunlight pouring through my window, illuminating the room in a way I hadn’t seen in weeks. It dappled across the sheets, my floor, the wall, and judging by its intensity I knew it had to be afternoon already.

When I checked the time I saw it was already a little after 2 o’clock. Adam must have just come back from work.

I sat up and found Chewy, sleeping in one of the patches of sunlight, happy and content as I’d ever seen her. It was unlike her not to wake me up early, but I’d taken her outside late last night after leaving Adam’s, so she must have slept soundly the rest of the morning.

As I got out of bed she woke up, and I took her out back right away.

The yard looked so different in the abundant sunlight, in a way looking strange to me, like the greens were too vivid, the air too clear. I could smell the grass

On Adam’s back deck, the glasses of rum we’d abandoned last night were still there. It felt like another world, even though it had only been hours ago, and I’d slept so late my memories of it took on a dreamlike quality: his strong hands, kneading against me, his lips, his cock… his hand in my hair as I heard the deep tenor of his voice resting against his chest.

I brought a hand up to my shoulder, realizing that there was none of the acute tension I normally felt, just a pleasant background soreness from how thoroughly he’d worked over my skin.

The night had been nearly perfect, until I’d remembered again who I was, remembered my failed attempts at love and living fully. I’d been slightly embarrassed telling Adam about my proclivity toward romance novels, but even worse telling him about my own life. Because I saw too quickly where it would go: he would feel sorry for me, or I’d feel too sorry for myself, and we’d lose the beautiful night we had, the intense physical connection.

Because maybe that’s just how Adam was with everyone he’d fucked—but I sure as hell had never experienced anything like it. I don’t think there was anywhere on me he left untouched, and I’d wanted to give him all of me.

I hadn’t admitted it to Adam, but I’d only ever had one sort-of boyfriend—and Bryce certainly didn’t ever touch me like that. He’d only blown me a handful of times, anyway; more often I’d be the one giving it to him, always worried about what he thought of me. My lack of skills.

But I hadn’t been able to think about anything last night when I was with Adam. Not a fucking care in my mind, just pure physical bliss, never doubting for a second how into it either one of us was.

Too into it. Into it enough that I’d let my guard down completely.

Off at the corner of the yard Chewy looked like she was about to start munching on a big stray leaf, and as I went over to take it away from her I heard the faint sound of guitar coming from Adam’s house. I paused after calming Chewy down, and listened, actually taking a few steps closer to his place.

It was beautiful, just like I’d heard the other day, the melody floating out into the air. I briefly thought about how I wouldn’t mind hearing that sort of thing every day, but then curbed the impulse of that line of thinking and hurried to take Chewy back inside.

* * *

“Grey, I need to talk to you back in the office—it’ll only take five minutes,” Randy said.

Randy didn’t normally come in during business hours at all, especially not on a Tuesday—he was the owner of Freezy Sweet, and had at least two other businesses to run besides the ice cream shop.

I nodded at him and set down the cleaning rag I was wiping the front counter with, shooting a glance at Audrey, who just shrugged at me.

I’d spent the rest of my day off yesterday reading, cooking, then falling asleep early again, clearly needing to catch up on the sleep debt I’d carried for weeks. For the first time in forever, I’d actually come into Freezy Sweet feeling well-rested and ready to go, but seeing Randy there around lunchtime had kind of worried me.

“How’ve you been, Grey?” Randy said as we stepped inside the fluorescent glow of his small office in the back of the store, and he closed the door behind us.

“Uh, pretty good… what’s up, Randy?” I said, taking a seat in the creaky office chair across from his desk. I liked Randy—he’d been a friend of my mom’s for a while—but we typically didn’t talk one-on-one very often, and it felt a little awkward.

He took a deep breath, clasping his hands in front of him on the desk. He looked up at me, seriously, with a set in his jaw.

“I don’t know how else to put this, so I’m gonna just come right out and say it,” he said, looking up at me. “I’m closing the shop,” he said simply.

I blinked at him for a moment. “This shop?”

He nodded.

“You’re closing Freezy Sweet?”

He nodded again, leaning back in his seat and puffing out another breath. “It’s been in the works for the past year, but I needed to be sure before I told you anything definitively.”

I sat back slightly, my eyes falling to the floor, kind of unable to process what he was telling me.

“Now, I know you rely on this job a lot, and that’s why I’m giving you plenty of advance notice. We’ve still got three months before we’re closing. That should be plenty of time for you to find something new, and I’m gonna talk to Jack down at the warehouse and see if he’s got anything opening up soon. I want you to do well, Grey. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate.”

I swallowed hard, and brought a hand up to my forehead. “Three months,” I said.

He just nodded.

“Wow,” I said, “Wow.” I felt like I had ice in my veins.

“Like I said, I’m gonna do everything I can to help you get another job. You’re the most loyal employee I’ve ever had, Mr. Foster, and I’d be proud to recommend you to anyone.”

“Of course—thank you, Randy—” I said. “Why are you closing?”

He sighed and shrugged. “I’m gettin’ older, and running multiple businesses isn’t getting any easier. This store is one of my lower revenue streams, and it’s just… it’s time for it to go.”

I nodded solemnly, feeling like my future was stretched out in front of my eyes and it was just a big fat bunch of nothing. When I realized there really was nothing else for him to tell me, I slowly got up out of the chair. As I stood up the chair clattered a little against the floor and I quickly straightened it out.

I took a deep breath. “Well, I… I guess I’ll get back out front, we’ll probably get a rush soon—”

“That’s okay, Grey,” Randy said, holding up a hand. “Go on home, or talk to your mom if you need to. There’s only a few more hours left of your shift—I’ll take over for you this afternoon. I know this is a lot for you to hear.”

Finally I met his eyes. “Really?”

He nodded emphatically. “Of course. Go home. You’ll still get paid for these three hours. Do whatever you need to do.”

I took in another shaky breath. “Okay,” I said. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.” The ice in my veins had given way to a numbness, like I wasn’t even really in my body.

“Hey,” Randy said, standing up and giving me a look. He crossed the small office and brought me into a tight hug. “It’s gonna work out okay,” he said, and I nodded against him. “You’re a good kid, Grey. You’ll bounce back quick.”

I exited out the back door of the shop, out into the blinding sunlight. It was the second day in a row with barely a cloud in sight, so uncharacteristically sunny in the Pacific Northwest, and it only added to the sense of vertigo at hearing what I’d just been told.

And I throttled head-first into a wave of panic. My heart raced, and immediately all I could picture were all of my expenses: my mom, my bills, Chewy. Randy had been nice enough to give me an hourly wage that was a couple dollars more than my job should ever be worth, because he knew me and liked me, but I didn’t know how the hell I’d survive if I worked somewhere that paid less. I had no qualifications, no experience anywhere but in food service, and there sure as hell weren’t many places I could work around the area.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, pressing my hands to the back of my head and stretching. Dread bubbled inside me and for a short moment I considered going back inside and asking Randy for a cigarette, knowing he was a smoker—but I backed myself down, knowing that I didn’t need to go down that road, that the last thing I needed was to start smoking again and hate myself for yet another reason.

No. I didn’t need a crutch. I needed to think.

I had walked to work that morning, since it was beautiful out and for once I’d woken up ready to start the day. I briefly considered taking the bus back home but realized that I should take the walk back home again, clear my head, figure out what the fuck I was going to do.

As I started the walk back around to the main road, gravel crunching under my feet, I realized with a start that I had worked at Freezy Sweet for 5 years.

Five whole years of my life had gone by, and I didn’t know what I even had to show for it. I’d been able to pay all my bills on time, and I’d never missed one of mom’s payments—but even that had been a struggle, and when I tried to take stock of what had happened all I could see were bits and pieces of the last 5 years: a sick cat I’d adopted and had passed away. A brief spell of happiness when I had dated Tara and then an even briefer, less genuine one with Bryce. My mom getting sick and the medical bills only adding up. Rescuing Chewy from the shelter when no one else would take her.

But mostly, just day after day of the same: going to work at Freezy Sweet, sometimes volunteering at the shelter, taking care of my mom, and then going home and passing out. The only isolated times I’d been out of the town were a quick trip to Portland with a friend who’d since moved away, and then a weekend in Seattle with Tara’s parents.

But halfway through my walk home, something dawned on me.

It started as an inkling, and quickly grew to something bigger as I turned over the idea in my head.

What if this was my chance?

What if finally, this was the push, the impetus to get me out of Fox Hollow?

As soon as I’d even had the thought, my instinct was to push it down—I knew how hard it would be to leave, and how it may be even harder to find a job and apartment if I went somewhere like Portland.

But… what if I tried?

Thinking of it made me somehow both more scared and alleviated my panic at the same time.

I walked the rest of the way home in a flurry of thought, almost so preoccupied that it was dangerous—I had to pay extra attention crossing the roads because I was so caught up thinking I almost stepped in front of a turning car.

By the time I reached my block, I was warmed by the sun, oddly energized, and I leapt up the front stairs of my house quick, opened the door and walked inside.

“Oh!”

“Grey!”

Adam was lying back on my couch, book in his hand, Chewy on his lap. He shot up as I came in the door. “Um—hi,” he said, sitting up and putting the book back down. “You’re back early.” It was strange finding him there, seemingly so comfortable in my space, like he felt at home.

I couldn’t help but smile slightly. “Yeah, I… well, a lot happened today.”

A slight blush broke out onto Adam’s cheeks. “I, uh… I’m sorry, I just got back from walking Chewy, and I saw the book, and I started reading….”

I smiled wider. “That’s fine,” I said. “But now you don’t get to make fun of me for reading romance novels. Clearly you like them too.”

He smiled bashfully, looking toward the floor. “Hey, I never ‘made fun of you’ for it,” he said. “But, uh, yeah, it’s not bad.”

I bent down to pet Chewy, who was making circles at my feet.

“So you said a lot happened? What’s up?”

I nodded. “A lot, honestly.” I thought for a moment, petting Chewy, then looking back up at Adam. “Actually… have you had lunch yet?”

He shook his head.

“Would you want to go walk somewhere in town and get food? It would be nice to explain shit to someone who isn’t my mother. I’m not quite ready to face her yet.”

“Sure, that sounds great. The weather is unreal out there,” Adam said, sitting up from my couch and slipping his boots back on.

“It is pretty perfect outside,” I replied. “Have you ever been to Fox’s Diner?”

He shook his head.

“We’re going there then. It’s only a five-minute walk and its probably one of the best diners you’ll ever go to.”

He gave me a crooked smile. “I don’t know, I’ve been to a lot of awesome diners….”

I shook my head. “Not ones like this.”

* * *

As we walked, I told Adam what Randy had told me, and then my plans to maybe finally make the move to Portland in 3 months after the job ended.

“Wow,” Adam said, walking next to me on the narrow sidewalk, deep green shrubs brushing past his side. “So you’re… leaving Fox Hollow,” he said, more a statement than a question.

“Yup,” I said, “I’m going to try. My main issue has always been not wanting to leave my mom—but I think if I go to Portland, I can drive back here on my days off to take care of her, and then if I get a well-paying job I can save up enough to maybe move her out there somewhere. Might take a year or two or three… but I think eventually I could do it.”

“I see,” Adam said. “What kind of job would you get there, you think?”

I shrugged, squinting in the sunlight. “I don’t know. Probably just be a bartender, honestly. It’s one of the better-paying jobs I could get.”

We approached Fox’s diner, and I reached to open the chrome-coated door and stepped in.

The lighting was fairly muted as usual, with the familiar dark wood bar and low, forest-green stools in front of it. On the other side the deep red booths were filled with people, only a couple of booths left open even long after the breakfast rush. We sat at one of the empty booths, sinking in next to the brick wall.

“Shit, dude, this place is absolutely gorgeous,” Adam said, still looking all around at the black and white photos on the wall, the warm lighting, and servers bustling around. “It’s like a relic.”

“Yup. Most popular place to go in Fox Hollow, probably because it’s one of the only good places.”

“Oh, come on, there’s plenty of good places here.”

I raised one eyebrow. “Like…?”

Adam thought for a moment. “Well, there’s that awesome Italian restaurant down the street. That doughnut shop on Wilmot Ave. has probably the best doughnuts I’ve ever had. And… um….”

“Yeah, that’s about it,” I said. “I don’t know why you seem to like this town so much.”

“I can’t see how you don’t,” Adam said, looking down and picking up a little packet of jam on the table.

“Afternoon, gentlemen,” one of the waitresses, Mary-Ann, said as she sidled up to the table. I liked Mary-Ann. She’d been working at the diner for as long as I could remember, and she knew my mom and me. “Hi Grey. Who’s your friend?”

“Mary-Ann—this is Adam. He’s new in town.”

She held out her hand and he smiled up at her. It was odd—I still felt like I was seeing a famous person when I saw Adam interacting with others, but when it was just the two of us, I’d almost forgotten entirely. She and Adam had a quick conversation about the cleaning company Adam worked for, before Mary-Ann turned back to me.

“How’s your mother, Grey?” Mary-Ann asked, furrowing her brow at me.

I took a breath. “Oh, you know,” I said, forcing a smile. “She’s the same. Doing better since last year, though, for sure.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Mary-Ann said, leaning over to rub me on the shoulder. “Barbara’s a good woman. And you’re such a good son, helping her with all her medical appointments….”

I nodded, biting my bottom lip.

“Anyway,” Mary-Ann said, waving a hand through the hair, “Any coffee for you two?”

“Please,” I said, relieved that she’d dropped the subject of my mom.

“Sure, I’ll take one, and a water,” Adam said.

“Be right back with that for you guys.”

There was a pause after she left the table, and I looked up to find Adam giving me a faraway look.

“What?” I asked.

“Hm?”

I smiled a little at him. “Why you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” he said, giving a little shrug of his shoulder and sitting back in the booth.

I couldn’t help but smile even more, shaking my head. What was he trying to do? It was driving me crazy, but in a kind of delicious way, and I had to get inside his head. “It’s not ‘nothing.’ I know better. What’re you thinking?”

He took a breath in. “You’ll probably hate me for saying this, but…”

“But what?”

He flicked his eyes up to me, meeting my gaze from under his lashes. “…It’s just clear that you really love your mom.”

“Oh,” I said, turning my eyes back down to the table. “I mean, yeah, duh, right?”

“I just mean you really care about her. Not just in the obligatory way, but it’s clear she’s a big part of your life.”

I hitched up one shoulder in a shrug. “Yeah, well, she needs me. My dad left when I was super young. She lost her job like 7 years ago. She’s been a single mom pretty much forever.”

Taking care of my mom had pretty much just been the default for me for so long, especially after she lost her job and when her hip had gotten so bad. She lived close to me, so it was just something I felt I had to do—not some grand sweeping thing that made me a great son.

Adam pulled in a breath. “My mom… doesn’t need me at all. She won’t even really call me until I call her for something. Sometimes I wish it was different.”

I looked up to him and saw that now his eyes were downcast, the smile absent from his face.

“Two coffees for you guys,” Mary-Ann said, appearing again and dropping the two mugs in front of us. It was steaming, and it smelled so perfect and inviting, already making me feel more alert just from smelling the roasted aroma. “What can I get you to eat?”

“Oh, uh, I hadn’t even looked,” Adam said, suddenly glancing down at the menu.

“Take your time, guys, I’ll be back in a few.”

“What’s the best here?” Adam asked after a minute.

“I’m boring,” I said, “I get the same thing every time. Silver dollar pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage.”

“I’ll get the same,” Adam said. “Definitely blueberry pancakes, though.”

I nodded, and a moment later, was surprised to feel Adam’s hand on mine, on top of the table. He gave me a gentle squeeze, and my heart felt like it leapt up to my throat. I got that feeling, when he touched me. Like it was something I didn’t quite deserve, but was so lucky to have, and I wanted to feel him on me like that as much as I possibly could.

His eyes were earnest, staring gently into mine.

“Hey,” he said, “I know you don’t love talking about you family life or Fox Hollow, but I like learning about you, Grey. You never have to talk about anything you don’t want, though.”

I nodded, kind of dumbfounded by how kind he was. “Thank you. And yeah, I like… talking about stuff with you, too. But I swear there are so many more interesting things about me than just my mom, for God’s sake.”

He laughed. “Like what?” he said, turning my hand over on the tabletop and gently tracing his finger over my palm in a light, swirling pattern. It felt absurdly good, so sweet and unexpected.

“Uh,” I said, “I don’t know. Like… movies. Or the animal shelter. Or… crazy customers I get at Freezy Sweet. Anything, really.”

“Yeah, good point,” Adam said, grasping my hand in his again. “I want to know about all those things, too. I’d wanna hear probably anything you told me, though, to tell you the truth.”

I felt a gentle squeeze in my chest at the unexpected intimacy of the moment, here in the middle of a diner.

“Making any progress over here?” I heard Mary-Ann’s voice behind me. I quickly snapped my hand away from Adam’s, pressing it down against my thigh under the table.

I looked up at Mary-Ann, feeling my cheeks get hot. “Oh. Yeah. I’m gonna have what I always have, the #3.”

“And I’ll get the same,” Adam said, handing over the menu to Mary-Ann. “With blueberry pancakes.”

“Alrighty, boys, have these out to you right quick.” She walked away, rubber shoes squeaking on the tile. My entire body felt hot and uncomfortable. The ambient noise of the diner filled the silence again, and when I finally looked up at Adam I saw him regarding me strangely.

“You ok, Grey?” he asked.

“Hm?”

“Are you alright? You just… kinda pulled away really quick there.”

Shit. I was hoping he hadn’t noticed, but obviously he had. I guess it would have been hard for him not to see me recoiling from his touch as soon as Mary-Ann had showed up.

I took a deep breath. There was no way I could get out of it now. I was going to have to tell Adam the truth.

“Well,” I said, pressing my hands against my thighs and then meeting his eyes, “I guess there is another thing I should tell you about me.”