Wishing in the past…
Fifteen years old

Happy birthday, kid! We still on for seven o’clock tonight?” Aiden asks, mussing up my hair as he rushes by me, turning to walk backward as he makes his way to class.

“Stop messing up my hair! And yes, seven. Don’t forget the snacks!” I shout after him as the warning bell rings, kids start moving faster down the hall, and lockers slam closed.

He gives me a salute before turning around and running through the sea of students.

“Is he still dating Michelle Lanford? I heard they broke up. Do you think he’d say yes if I asked him out?”

My head turns to the side as I close my locker to see a girl standing next to me with a dreamy look on her face as she stares after Aiden.

“Yeah, they broke up last week. Doesn’t hurt to ask,” I tell her with a shrug, hefting my stack of books up higher in my arms as she thanks me and goes running in Aiden’s direction.

Shaking my head, I start walking down the hall to algebra class when my books are suddenly snatched out of my arms. I look up to find a smiling Everett staring down at me, and my stomach flops as he tucks my books under his arms and walks me to class.

“Happy birthday, Cam. How does it feel to be fifteen?” he asks, bumping his shoulder against mine.

I nervously reach up and twirl a lock of my hair between my fingers, forcing myself not to giggle.

“Like I’m too young to drive and too old to play with Barbies.”

Jesus, Cameron. Barbies? Really? Way to make him try and see you as a woman instead of a little girl. Real smooth.

Everett just smiles at me, pausing by the algebra room door and handing my books back to me. He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me against his side for exactly three seconds before dropping his arm and moving away.

“Have a good day. See you at the treehouse tonight,” he tells me with a wave.

I stand in the doorway watching him walk down the hall and let out a long sigh.

“He’s so hot. I can’t believe you’re friends with him,” Allison Brantley says, stopping in the doorway next to me to stare after Everett.

Allison Brantley has had a crush on Everett since the beginning of the school year and has flirted shamelessly with him. She lost her virginity a month ago to Alex Conrad, a senior and a football player who’s friends with Everett. Ever since then, she thought she was hot shit and she’d upped her flirting game with Everett and it made me want to puke. SHE’D never talked about Barbies in front of him.

“I’m gonna ask him out tonight at lunch.”

My head whips in her direction and I can’t stop the scowl that takes over my face. I hate Allison Brantley.

“He doesn’t date skanks,” I inform her, ignoring the pissed-off look on her face as I shoulder past her and into the room to take my seat.

No matter how rude my statement was, Allison would never argue with me or make a scene, because she knows I have the upper hand. Just like every other girl in this school when it comes to my two best friends. Maybe that makes me a total bitch, but I don’t care. Every girl here knows if they piss me off, they’ll never have a shot with Aiden or Everett. Well, maybe not Aiden. He’d date anything with a vagina, no matter how skanky or pathetic she was. But not Everett. Everett listened to me when I gave my opinion on the girls he dated, even though just the fact that he went on dates with other girls made me sick to my stomach. That thought gives me pause as I set my books on top of my desk, not hearing a word the teacher says when he walks into the room. Why DOES Everett always do what I say, when Aiden always does the exact opposite? Does he really value my opinion? Does he know I have a crush on him and he’s just doing it not to embarrass me? Oh, my God, please don’t let that be it. I hope he just listens to me because I’m his friend and I’m a girl, therefore I know how other girls think.

Besides I wasn’t a complete jerk, even though I wanted to be. I didn’t put my foot down with everyone. Just the girls I thought had potential to steal his heart. I learned how to be okay with Everett dating other girls, as long as they weren’t “happily ever after” material. It’s not like I thought Everett would fall madly in love with Allison and run off and marry her, but it’s my birthday, dammit. Nothing is going to ruin this day, especially not Allison Brantley and her giant boobs, skinny waist, long legs, and missing virginity.

“Stop laughing at me. I am totally your pimp.”

Aiden ignores my order, laughing so hard he has to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“The struggle is real. ‘Do you think Aiden likes me?’ ‘Do you think Everett will ask me out?’” I say in a high-pitch, annoying voice. “I am your pimp, letting the female population know when you’re free for a new hook-up. It’s disgusting. I should start charging both of you.”

I bring the bottle of beer up to my mouth and take another drink, realizing quickly how drunk I am when half of it dribbles down my chin instead of going into my mouth.

Everett takes the bottle out of my hand, using the sleeve of his sweatshirt to wipe the beer from my face. I don’t even realize I’ve stopped breathing until he moves his arm away and smiles at me.

Aiden decided Grape Crush wasn’t enough for us this year, and brought along a case of beer with his usual provisions. At eighteen, Aiden and Everett have both had plenty of opportunities to drink when they hang out with friends their own age, but I never have. I thought it was the perfect way to show Everett that I’m not a little girl anymore, but somewhere after my third bottle, things got a little hazy and I started slurring my words, talking about pimps like a complete idiot. This is why he’s always dating skanks. Because I’m just a little girl who can’t hold her liquor, and those skanks are women who probably can.

At least I’m not talking about Barbies anymore, so I have that going for me.

“I think you’ve had enough,” Everett tells me, looking away to set the bottle on the other side of his legs.

Everett and I are sitting side by side, our legs straight out in front of us, and Aiden is sitting cross-legged across from us. I stare at Everett’s profile when he leans forward, busying himself collecting all the empties, clinking the bottles together as he pushes them into a cluster on the floor of the treehouse. I want to reach over and rest my palm against the side of his strong jaw, say something to make him smile so one of his dimples pops out and I can lean in and kiss it.

“You’re such a buzz kill, Ev,” Aiden jokes, finishing off his beer and setting it down next to the empties Everett just collected. “It’s her birthday, she can get drunk if she wants to!”

When Everett leans back and puts his hands on the floor behind him, he sprawls his legs out and his thigh brushes up against mine. My heart starts hammering in my chest, and for the first time since I was seven years old, I wish Aiden wasn’t here with us.

I hate that that thought is going through my mind. I love Aiden, but right now, I just want to be alone with Everett. I want to move closer to him until our shoulders are touching, I want him to look down at me and smile, I want him to brush my hair over my shoulder like I’ve seen him do with girls he’s dated, I want him to look at me and really see me. As a woman and not as his best friend.

“Good thing you already wrote down your wish and put it in your box; otherwise I might have had to help you and I would have seen what you wished for,” Everett says, giving me a wink.

I was kind of grateful for that, too, until just now. If he’d helped me write my wish, he would know how I feel. It would be out in the open and I wouldn’t have to keep pretending anymore. I’m so tired of pretending. I’m so tired of wanting something I feel like I’ll never have, no matter how much I wish for it, no matter how hard I try to prove to Everett that I’m not a little girl anymore and I can make him happier than any of those slutty girls at school.

“Aiden! Are you almost done? I’m bored!” a voice shouts from outside, down at the base of the treehouse.

“Oh, my God. Did you seriously bring a date to my birthday party?” I complain, glaring at Aiden while Everett chuckles and shakes his head at him.

“Hey, it’s not my fault I’m irresistible and my social calendar is full. And besides, it’s not like I brought her up here. I made her wait for me down below, like a gentleman. You can’t be pissed at me, kid,” Aiden explains with a smirk.

I roll my eyes at him, but the action makes the room spin and I wave my hand at him, concentrating as hard as I can on not throwing up.

“Go. Go be with your skank.”

“Are you sure?” Aiden asks, already pushing himself up from the floor.

“Yes. You can make it up to me by sending out a memo that I am done being your pimp. Tell her, to tell all her friends, that I am no longer answering inquiries on the status of your love life.”

Aiden laughs, bending forward and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he smiles, straightening up and pointing at Everett. “You’re in charge of holding her hair back when she pukes.”

Everett gives him a thumbs-up and I shout after him as he races toward the door.

“I AM NOT GOING TO PUKE!”

He laughs all the way down the ladder, and when silence fills the treehouse, I turn toward Everett.

“I’m not gonna puke,” I reassure him quietly, really, really hoping I don’t puke.

He bumps his arm into mine and smiles at me.

“But if you do puke, I’ll hold your hair back.”

It’s really sad that that is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m definitely drunk.

His eyes never leave mine and I want to keep my mouth shut so I don’t ruin the moment with the word vomit of a beer buzz, but I can’t help myself.

“How come you’ve never brought a girl here?” I ask softly.

Aiden brings a different girl here every week, showing off the fact that he’s friends with the people who own the camp, trying to impress them. Everett has never, not once brought a date here, even for the charity dinner my parents throw every year.

He leans closer to me and I tip my head back to look up at him. Our faces are so close, all I’d have to do is lift my chin and our lips would touch. I want him to lift his hand from the floor behind him and curl it around my waist, turn toward me, and pull me closer until we’re chest to chest and I can feel his heart beating against mine. I want more than a brush of his shoulder against mine, or a quick side hug. I want him to close the distance. I want him to make the first move. I don’t want to be the one to do it and have him pull back and laugh at me.

“This place is special to me,” he answers in a quiet voice. “It got me through one of the hardest times in my life. I’d never bring a girl here who wasn’t special. Who didn’t mean as much to me as this place does.”

I wanted him to say he’d never bring a girl here, because he doesn’t need to. Because she’s already here. But at least I know I won’t have to worry about him bringing a skank who doesn’t mean anything to him here every week, like Aiden, and that’s good enough for now.

He pulls away from me and gives me another smile, and I immediately feel cold without his arm pressed up against mine.

I think about the wish I wrote down on my star, the same wish I’ve written down since I turned thirteen. Maybe I should have changed it up and wished that he’d kiss me or, hell, just give me a hug that wasn’t brotherly, but it’s too late to change it now. It’s been put into my box and nestled back down under the floorboard until next year.

Hopefully someday, I’ll get my wish, which will lead to a lot more than hugging anyway.