* * *
Once back at the co-op, Janna grabbed a quick shower then decided to attempt working on her dissertation. It had been days, okay, maybe a week or more, since she'd looked at it, and even then she'd barely gotten anything done. The slender salamander was losing its appeal, her attention now taken up by a much grander specimen.
Pulling up the document on her laptop, it took a long time for her to get back into the headspace of her current chapter. She re-read what she'd written so many days ago over and over again, trying to get the flow back. Just when she'd gotten into the groove, the phone rang, shattering her concentration.
"Hello?" she answered without bothering to check the number.
"Janna." It was Brice. His voice sent a wave a gooseflesh over her body. Part of it was due to the heat she felt whenever she heard his voice. The other part was the coolness she felt radiating from it this morning. "I'm glad I caught you."
"Good morning Brice." She wasn't sure if she was glad she'd been caught. At least, not entirely.
"I'm having breakfast nearby. I was hoping you would join me."
Janna sighed. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face Brice yet. Of course, she wanted to, wanted to really bad, and that was part of the problem. But there was so much she needed to keep hidden: her feelings for Brice, her certainty of heartbreak, and now, the Alex Drake factor. She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep it all inside if she saw him again right now. "I don't know, Brice. I've got a busy day planned, and--"
"Don't turn me down. Not again. Not today." She heard the note of pleading there, even though it was disguised by gruffness. "I'm at Joy's Diner, two blocks off campus. Come meet me. Please."
It was hurt that she heard. And she couldn't stand for him to hurt. "I'm on my way. Order me a small breakfast, gluten-free toast."
"See you soon," he whispered.
Janna shivered and hung up. It didn't take long to grab her jacket and make her way outside into the drizzly day. It was only a ten block walk to Joy's, so before long she was making her way into the crowded breakfast joint, searching for Brice. She finally found him at a table in the back, the only person in the farthest-away dining room. She slid into the seat across from him, attempting a smile. "Hi."
"Hi yourself," he replied, trying for playfulness but falling short. As she was shrugging out of her jacket, the waitress stopped by to deposit her plate of steaming-hot food.
"That's what I love about this place," Janna murmured. "Fast service and good food." Without looking up, she dug into her pile of hash browns.
"Thanks for meeting me. I wanted to see you." His tone was heavy, and she finally risked a glance at him through her lashes. She shouldn't have.
The look in his eyes was powerful. "I've missed you."
Swallowing a bite of bacon, she gave him a small smile but said nothing. What should she say? She didn't know, so she took a bite of toast to combat the awkwardness.
Brice remained silent for a moment, then began drumming his fingertips on the table top. "So..." he began casually. "Do anything interesting last night?"
The hairs on the back of Janna's neck started to rise, and she pushed down a growing sense of panic. "Not really. Watched some movies with a friend."
"Oh. Anyone I know?"
Shit. Janna got an inkling that she was being led in a very particular direction. She tried to ignore the flare of distrust and decided that honesty was the best policy. "As a matter of fact, yes."
"Oh really. Who?"
Yep, he was definitely leading the witness. It wasn't so much his innocuous questions that tipped her off, but it was the look in his eyes. Like he already knew the answers. Well, if he already knew, what could it hurt to tell him? "Alex Drake."
"Oh? That is interesting."
Now she knew for sure that he had already found out she'd slept over at Drake's. How could he know already? She'd barely made it home three hours ago. Did Drake tell him? Wasn't that a horrible thought. Apparently, she couldn't trust anyone these days. She was exhausted by the battle of wits and petty jealousies. Time to confront things head on.
"How'd you find out? Did Drake call you himself?"
A look of surprise manifested itself on Brice's face before he managed to cover it. "I'm actually amazed he hasn't called me yet to gloat."
"If Drake didn't tell you I spent the night, then who did?"
Brice stared at her for a moment before responding. His chilly tone was an ice pick through her heart. "It's actually refreshing that you're not denying anything. You openly admit to spending the night at Alex Drake's house?"
"Yes," Janna replied without hesitation. "You know I did. What I want to know is, how do you know?"
"And you're not going to offer me some kind of excuse? Some explanation?"
"Why? You haven't asked for one. And you aren't explaining to me how you found out."
Brice broke suddenly, his words coming out in a snarl of cold rage. "Fuck how I found out. You're going to tell me what you were doing over there. And you're going to tell me now."
Janna sat back, amazed at the change in his demeanor. She'd never seen him this furious. Suddenly, it wasn't so important that she get the last word in. Maybe he did deserve an explanation. "I told you, we watched movies. That's all. I fell asleep on his couch and didn't wake up until this morning. Nothing happened."
"Nothing happened," he mocked. "That's becoming a very familiar refrain. You know how I feel about Drake. How I feel about you. Why do you insist on--"
"Insist on what? Having my own life?" Janna interrupted, his tone infuriating her. "I told you last weekend, and I'll tell you again right now. Drake and I are nothing but friends. FRIENDS. I didn't intend to fall asleep, but I did. I left as soon as I woke up this morning. And I knew you'd overreact like this, so I wasn't going to tell you. But you found out anyway. And just how did you find out again?"
Brice leaned back, taking a deep breath. "I know you keep telling me he's your friend, but you have to understand that I don't trust him. For a good reason. And when I found out that you spent the night with him, it was eating me up inside."
"I didn't spend the night with him. He slept in his bedroom, alone. I slept on the couch. Alone."
Another big exhale. "I'm sorry." It seemed he was finally catching hold of his temper again, was finally calming down. "I want to trust you. But with my past, with my position, and especially with regards to Alex Drake, trust is a difficult thing for me."
"I understand." Janna took a deep breath of her own. "But we have to have trust, or we have nothing."
"I know." He bowed his head. Janna's heart went out to him at that moment. She realized he was struggling, that his past was riding him hard, and that he wanted to get over it for her. But she still couldn't let it go, not yet, not without finding out how.
"So prove you trust me. Tell me how you found out I spent the night at Drake's."
Brice's eyes shot up to hers, and the anxiety present in their green depths scared her. He didn't want to tell her. Whatever he said, it wasn't going to be good.
"I found out from the security detail. I've had one posted on you since we got back from Portland."
"What?" The word came out a whisper, but it felt like a scream.
"Now trust me to explain. I've been receiving threats from my cousin. I helped put his father away in prison, and he holds it against me. His last promise of revenge was accompanied by a picture of you and me, together."
Janna ran her fingers through her curls, her mind churning. That's awfully convenient, an inner voice whispered. He just happens to have an emergency that would explain things. Janna shook her head, not wanting to believe it. But he'd had her followed, by a security team!, for days now. He was kept apprised of her whereabouts, her comings and goings, and he wasn't afraid to use that information to confront her. It seemed so invasive.
"If your cousin was making threats, why didn't you tell me? You've had me followed for days, and you didn't even let me know I was in danger?"
She watched as a flush crept up Brice's cheeks. She'd hit a sensitive area.
"I knew it would upset you."
"Hell yes, it upsets me! Especially because you didn't tell me about it. Another sign of your inability to trust me."
"No!" Brice replied, his eyes narrowing in anger. "I didn't want to upset you if I could avoid it. I figured it would only be a couple of days until we found my cousin, and we could quickly and quietly deal with the potential threat. If everything went according to plan, you wouldn't even have to know about the security detail."
"But everything didn't go according to plan, did it?" She was beyond mad, and his half-assed answers weren't helping things. "Or did you catch your cousin already?"
"No."
"So the detail is still following me around?"
"Yes."
Janna sighed, moving past anger into regret and then hopelessness. "How am I supposed to believe all this, Brice? You said you wanted to keep quiet about the security issue, but you drag me out to breakfast this morning to confront me with the information they gave you. That doesn't make sense if this whole thing is about my safety."
"It is about your safety. And you're right, it was a mistake to confront you about Drake, but when I found out you'd slept there, all the old feelings came crashing back. He's trying to steal you away from me to hurt me. But you'll end up getting hurt too. So in the end, confronting you was about your safety."
"Bullshit," Janna said, standing up. "I'm beginning to think this whole thing was manufactured. You've been acting weirdly possessive since Saturday night. So you hired a PI or two to spy on me for you, to make sure I'm not doing anything you don't like. And instead of trusting me, you're willing to jump to conclusions, the wrong conclusions I might add. So call off your dogs and give me some space."
"I can't," Brice countered, anguish creeping into his voice. "You are in danger. This shit with Drake is a side issue. My cousin is still out there."
"So you won't call off your team?"
Brice stared at her for a moment, his face showing that he was warring with himself over the answer. Finally, he responded. "No, I won't call off my team, not until the threat from my cousin is neutralized."
"Asshole!" Janna ground out her reply, then stomped away from the table and the stubborn man seated at it. "Of all the immature, messed up, controlling--"
"Don't leave, not like this." Brice grabbed her arm and spun her around. At that moment she realized that, for the first time in her life, she was the one felt smothered by the weight of commitment.
His expression was serious with a hint of desperation. "Please, Janna, you know I lov--"
"No!" Janna pulled away with all her might and stumbled backward, then took off through the restaurant at a near-run. She made it out the door just ahead of him, but Brice was gaining on her.
"Leave me alone!" she yelled, then broke into a full out run. It was several blocks before she turned back, and by then she was alone and breathless.