Boston Bound
I had left when he fell asleep. I didn’t want to break down in front of him again. I had been a mess for two weeks and Xavier had noticed and been wonderful anyway.
I skipped class one day and went to the doctors. I didn’t know when I walked in that my dreams of a life with Xavier would be crushed and because I would lose him my entire life was going to fall apart.
How ironic is it that when you finally find the kind of love that doesn’t hurt, hell it didn’t even sting, you lose it. It was perfect once we committed to each other. Xavier Steel loved me and I was going to break his heart.
~
I stood in line for an hour. I never realized a five am flight would be was so popular. I suppose it was because all the people who flew for business between New York and Boston would be taking the early flight so that they could get home to their families.
I exchanged my ticket to get an earlier flight for a hundred bucks. The only seats left were in first class. So I would be taking it to ensure I was long gone before he woke up and found my note. I knew he’d be pissed and I didn’t want that but I knew it was going to happen anyways.
I was pregnant. Me, the girl who faithfully took the pill everyday, was pregnant. When they asked me when my last period was I told them. They asked if it was normal and it wasn’t. So me, the girl who took the pill regularly and has only been with two sexual partners was pregnant. To make things worse it was a good possibility that it was not Xavier’s.
If it was Xavier’s I am sure he would try to do the right thing for me and his child but for the rest of my life I would feel guilty. He made it clear he didn’t want kids. So I was running home to try to clear my head and decide whether I would keep my baby or not. Then I had to decide whether to tell Xavier and even worse I may have to tell a man who hit me that I was carrying his child.
I walked onto the plane and sat in my big cushy seat and closed my puffy red eyes. I put on the earphones and tried to fall back to sleep.
I was almost asleep when I felt someone moving into the seat next to me. I pulled my legs in so that they could have room to move. Normally I would give a nice smile and say good morning but it wasn’t a good morning. It was a horrible morning.
The plane started to taxi and I sat my seat back in the upright position. I glanced over to my left and into the most intense set of blue-green eyes I had seen. His hair was a mess and his expression unreadable. But I did know he wasn’t happy.
“You have an hour and twenty minutes to tell me what’s going on. You should be aware that I’m pretty sure I can figure it out and that I cannot believe you are pulling this shit on me.”
He was beyond angry, he was livid.
I nodded and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
“Keep going Taelyn.”
“I’m doing this because I love you.”
His eye brows shot up as soon as the plane left the ground. My very sensitive stomach did a flip.
“I have an appointment later this afternoon. The clinic I went to Tuesday doesn’t have ultrasound equipment. I didn’t know--.”
“Hold up! You’re sick and you couldn’t tell--.” He stopped talking and I’m pretty sure realization set in.
A smile crept up on just the corner of his mouth. “So you weren’t leaving me for him?”
My stomach lurched and I reached for the vomit bag. He grabbed my hair and held it back as I threw up several times. When I sat back the flight attendant took the bag and handed me a cold clothe.
“You left because I told you I didn’t want kids. Taelyn, I also told you I didn’t want to get married but I gave you a ring and fully intended on switching hands. Wait.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring, I assumed a belly button ring with a very large dangling emerald. “I was gonna propose to you tonight. A little unconventional I know but that’s us--.”
I sat up and reached in front of his seat for the bag and he grabbed my hair again as I threw up.
“Irish if you hadn’t just thrown up I’d be kissing your beautiful red lips right now. The lips of the girl that I am gonna marry and that will have my--.”
“Xavier please stop. No more, it’ll only make this harder.”
“Don’t you hear me? I love you. I want this. Say--.”
I blurted out, “I don’t know if it’s yours.”
And then the tears began to fall.
The flight attendant was back she took the barf bag and gave me two more and a bottle of water. He hadn’t said a word and I couldn’t look at him.
The pilot announced that we were at twenty five thousand feet and would be landing in an hour. The flight attendant came back with a blanket and a pillow. I thanked her as I wiped my eyes. I pulled my legs up and closed my eyes facing as far away from him as I could. I didn’t want to see him hurt and I didn’t want to see him angry. I just wanted for this day to be over and for him to go back to New Jersey and lead a happy life.
I was almost asleep when he took my hand and held it. I didn’t pull away. I wanted him so bad it hurt and now that he knew he wouldn’t be able to love me ever again. I was sure I wouldn’t love me either.
When they pilot announced we would be landing I sat up and looked straight ahead.
Xavier was still holding my hand but now he was rubbing his thumb over the ring he had given me. I slid my hand from under his and pulled the ring off.
I turned and looked at him. He was staring intently at the ring.
“I’m sorry I did this to you.” I reached over and handed him back the ring. “Xavier.”
“Do you think it’s his?”
“I have no idea. My period wasn’t normal. It may not have even been a period. I was sick then too.”
“You had a cold.” The pain in his voice sent chills through my body. “Were you going to tell me?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
“If it were mine would you have told me?”
“I don’t see how that matters anymore do you?”
“I would have known. I do know. How many times did you and he have sex that month? Did he always finish inside you? Have you ever had light periods before? Did you really fucking think I would turn into some monster if I knew you were having a child, my child?”
I closed my eyes and leaned back.
“Come on babe--.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
“Answer a couple questions. Just a couple.”
“Fine.”
“Did you think I didn’t love you enough to want to take care of our child?”
“I know what kind of man you are so I knew you would. Even if it meant changing the man I loved. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“You said loved. When did you stop?”
“I didn’t.”
“Good because I want you to know that I don’t give a fuck whose kid is inside of you. To me, if it’s in your body, it’s mine. Do you hear me Taelyn? It’s mine.”
“I can’t live a life with you knowing you resent me.”
“Resent you? I don’t resent you. I fucking love you.” He pulled me against him. “It won’t go away. Don’t ask me to try or make me. I love you.”
The plane landed and I got out of my seat. Xavier grabbed my bag from the overhead compartment and then grabbed his back pack.
Neither of us had checked luggage so we walked out and hailed a cab. He reached in his backpack and grabbed a baseball cap and pulled it on his head.
“You like?”
“You’re in Boston that’s probably not a good idea.”
“Gotta be true to who I am. You need to accept that. Nothing will change it. Nothing.”
~
We bickered about him coming to my family’s house. He agreed to stay at the airport Hilton if I stayed with him. I didn’t want to wake my parents at six thirty in the morning when they weren’t expecting me until four.
We slept and held each other for the rest of the day. I told him it felt wrong and that I felt like I was using him. He told me to use away.
When he woke me at three he had already rented a car. He was going to drive me to the ultra sound appointment. I begged him to let me go alone and he wouldn’t.
While we waited for the technician he paced. “I wasn’t joking about not giving a shit about the dates. I will never resent you or our child. Besides Irish I know it’s mine. It’s my kid inside of you.”
I knew he was trying to convince himself. He was just as worried as I was. I knew if it wasn’t I would not be able to hold him to what he had said in a moment of anguish.
She walked in and he stood at my head holding my hand as the technician started the exam.
“Right there is your baby. You are measuring at eight weeks.”
We both looked at each other as we counted the weeks. His face fell and my heart started to crumble into pieces.
“The date of conception would be March twenty first. You’re a very new mommy.”
“What? How does that make her six weeks?”
“Conception usually occurs two weeks after the last period--.”
“So that means there’s no way in hell that a period in January or late Frbruary and this baby’s size would even be match up?” He was nearly crawling out of his skin.
“Not possible.”
He grabbed her face and kissed her. “I love you nurse--Nurse?”
“Sandy.”
“I love you Nurse Sandy.”
He walked over and rubbed my belly and laughed. “Who’s your Daddy?” He pointed to himself. “This guy is.”
He kissed my stomach at least twenty times.
“And then there is you.” He grabbed my cheeks and kissed my entire face. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
“Of course you do, that’s how we are.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“Sure? I’ve already picked out his name, and his first tattoo.”
“Oh yeah?” I sat up.
“His name is X2 and his first tattoo is gonna say, My Mommy is Sexy as Hell.”
The nurse laughed and so did I.
“If it’s a girl?”
“Her name is Chastity, middle name Belt and we're moving to a deserted Island with its own nuclear missiles.”
When we left he seemed happy, excited even, I was relieved. We were us. Or as he said, us plus one.
~
My mom met him first and she seemed to like him a lot. He held my hand, opened doors, and paid attention to everything that went on.
When I used the bathroom I walked out and heard her ask him how he felt about my daughter.
His reply, “Is there a stronger word than love?”
“No.”
“I wish there was because then I would know what to call this feeling inside I have for her. It’s crazy, insane, and irrational. I look around and see couples and I think there is no possible way they could feel as intense a feeling I have for her.” He snickered. “Maybe I could come up with a word someday.”
I walked out and Mom looked at me and smiled. “You can keep this one.”
“I’m going to.”
When my father came home I was a bit anxious. Xavier walked out and shook his hand. They stood outside for nearly half an hour and my nose was literally glued to the front window. Mom laughed at me.
When they came in I heard my father say, “There is only one way to prove to me that you’re worthy of my only daughter.”
“Become a Sox fan.”
“There has to be something else. Like maybe cut off my left nut?”
My mom covered her mouth and we both laughed quietly so they didn’t hear us.
“Son then if you fucked up I wouldn’t be able cut it off myself.”
“I have two.”
“That’s nice to know.”
“I won’t fuck up. But there is no way I’ll be a Sox fan.”
“New England Patriots?” Dad asked.
“Giants.” Xavier answered.
“I don’t know what she sees in you,” Dad chuckled.
“I don’t either but I’m grateful for whatever it is.”
All three of my brothers came to dinner. Grady was decent enough. Kaen and Keller, well that was a different story. My mother tried to interfere and my father shook his head no. I saw the look in his eye, Dad wanted to see how Xavier dealt with them.
When we all sat for dinner Kaen looked at me, “This one isn’t gonna work out either.”
Xavier did his little neck roll thing and Dad sat back ready to watch the fight.
“It’s not up to you. She can make that decision on her own.”
“She doesn’t choose well.”
“From what I understand he had you all fooled as well.”
“And what makes you any different.” Keller asked. “You are all over the internet, pictures of girls sucking you off--.”
“That was before Taelyn. Irish I don’t have to explain my shit to him in order for you and I to do our thing, do I?”
“No.” She looked at her brothers. “We love each other you’ll have to accept it.”
“Irish?”
“Keller don’t--.”
“This has got to be a joke. You can’t seriously want a man like this. He comes here to get a nightstand and kicks Dan’s ass. He’s got you living with him--.”
“We’re going to be together. No need for this discussion.”
“Fine so tell me what’s so different about Steel?”
“Everything.” I looked at Xavier and smiled.
“Dad you seriously can’t let this punk--.”
“Daniel cheated on me. Xavier was there for me.”
“To get in your pants!”
“No to stop him from hurting me.--.”
Xavier grabbed my hand. “You don’t have to sell me to anyone.
“This douche has a bad temper Taelyn. You think he drove five hours for a nightstand? He did it so that he could--.”
“Not that I want to keep living this nightmare and correct me if I’m wrong Xavier. You probably drove here more because he hit me. Because you wanted to--.”
“Daniel what?” All the men at the table said at the same time.
“When I broke up with him, and no you don’t get all the details, it’s incredibly humiliating but I confronted him. Punched him and he hit me back. He held me down--.”
“Don’t get yourself all worked up babe.” Xavier rubbed my back. “It won’t ever happen again.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Why didn’t you know that the piece of shit banging your sister was screwing around on her? Why didn’t you know that he has a blow problem and that she was busting her ass to make sure he could go to Harvard while she footed the bill and he snorted his trust fund away? Here’s the deal. We’re getting married--.”
“Taelyn for Christ sake move home. He can--.”
“Over my dead body,” Xavier sneered at Kaen.
“That can be arranged,” Kaen sneered back.
“Don’t talk to him like that. He’s been amazing.”
“Yeah we see that online.”
“Yet you can’t seem to figure out Danny boy had a little fuck pad at property your company over sees security at--.”
“We took over the two days before your sorry ass showed up.”
“My sorry ass?”
“Enough! You’ll have to learn to get along. I love him. We’re getting married--.”
“Did he have the decency to ask you Dad?” Keller snapped.
“He told me he cut off his left nut before he chose the Soxs over his New York team. Shows conviction. Your mother likes him. She wasn’t sold on Daniel. Your sister is--.”
“Head over heels in love and eight weeks pregnant.” I said quietly.
“What the hell did you just say?” Kaen snapped.
“You heard me, now hear me again. Your niece--.”
“Nephew,” Xavier whispered. “Oh and while you’re breaking the news, let your father know he’ll be a Yankees fan.”
Dad huffed. “We’ll see about that.”
“Sorry but it’s gonna happen.” Xavier smiled back.
“You Catholic?” My dad asked.
“Yes. Although I must admit I haven’t attended mass a lot lately. And when I did it was more for the wine and all the girls.”
I laughed and he winked.
“I love your sister, your daughter, the mother of this child. I told her I didn’t want kids or marriage.Two weeks after meeting her I knew I wanted it all. She was going through hell so I gave her space until I just couldn’t anymore.” He looked at my brothers. “From what I understand you three aren’t much different than I was. Fair warning, when it happens you’ll know and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it. So did I ask permission to marry her? No. That would be like asking for air that is already free, the sun to stop shining in July, or my heart to beat. It’s a given. She was mine from go and I was hers.”
My mom was crying and my father smiled. “Even if you don’t need my permission you got it son. Just remember I have your balls.”
“I told you I’d gladly hand them over.”
Xavier told my parents that his townhome was open and connected to mine. He would make sure anytime I wanted to come home he would make it happen, and that anytime they wanted to come down there was always a place for them.
He extended the offer to my brothers as well but it seemed a bit less sincere.
When we left the next morning my mother had already said she would be there next weekend. She wanted to meet his family and be there with me through every step of my pregnancy.
Xavier smiled. I knew what he was thinking.
“It’s still us,” I said as we got in the car to head to the hotel.
“Always will be.”