Something was terribly wrong with Seth. I had fallen asleep with this thought last night and woke up with the same thought in my head. I flopped over onto my back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling as I usually did when thinking about a serious problem. He wasn’t in bed with me, which never happened before. He must have moved about quietly, too, because I was now stationed in his master bedroom since I had finally caved in about us keeping up a pretense as though we weren’t sleeping together. I’d never woken up and not been in Seth’s arms since I had moved into his apartment.

I stretched a hand over to his side of the bed. It felt cold like he had woken up early or perhaps hadn’t slept beside me at all. I knew he hadn’t wanted to do the improv, but I never expected him to act like this. He hadn’t done badly, except for when we were acting out the scene and he had asked if I would ever lie to him. The line was one of his better ones to suit what we were doing, but I found myself answering it as though he was asking me about Greg. I should have given him a straight ‘no’ answer, but I’d felt so guilty that I’d tried to go on the defensive.

He had been unresponsive for much of the night after that, and at one point I’d wondered if he knew about my secret. He would have confronted me about it if he knew. Instead, he had me up against the door as soon as we walked inside the condo. I pressed my legs together, feeling the dull ache between them where he had pounded me desperately last night. I’d never seen him like that, so wound up. It would have scared me a little if I hadn’t enjoyed it so much, and I was glad Kelly wasn’t home because she would have heard my screams.

I got out of bed gingerly and made my way to the bathroom. I tried to shrug off waking up to find him gone. Maybe he had something urgent to do. I climbed into the shower and took my time washing. The hot tub would have worked wonders on my sore flesh, but I didn’t have the time. I had to get to work to hand in my resignation.

If I remembered correctly, the bid was supposed to be conducted tomorrow. I’d held out this long, not giving Greg the information he wanted, and today, I would pull the big gun. If he thought he could manipulate me, he would get the script flipped on him. I knew he wanted the information badly, and I wouldn’t give it to him until he handed over the drugs. I’d done as much research on ecstasy and had stared at the pictures of them online for so long I didn’t believe he could trick me so easily this time.

Either way, I would be doomed when he told Seth the truth, which I was sure was coming, right after I handed over the information. I’d realized for some reason I still didn’t know, Greg wanted to hurt Seth in the worst way possible. What better way to do that than to attack his business and the one person in the world he loved?

After taking a shower, I dressed for work, pulling on a navy-blue suit and frowned because Seth still hadn’t returned. I tried not to think much of it, though, because some mornings he ate breakfast with Kelly. These days I had no appetite for breakfast and often ate a heavy lunch to make up for it.

Dressed, and in my stockinged-feet, I wandered down the stairs to find Seth. I didn’t think I could do anything about losing him, but I could make sure Kelly was safe from prosecution. I would take one out of two if I couldn’t have both.

Kelly was cooking bacon, and my stomach roiled as the scent hit me. I strolled into the kitchen nevertheless to look for Seth. Kelly was the only one inside, making breakfast and humming to herself. She had taken over Seth’s kitchen as her own, and watching her over the weeks, I was thinking about suggesting she start culinary school. She was obviously so passionate about it.

“Hey, have you seen Seth?” I asked her, my voice sounding funny because I was breathing from my mouth to filter the smell of bacon fried in grease.

“He already left,” she answered and looked away, almost guiltily.

“Is there a-” I broke off as I began to wretch violently. Thank God it was a dry heave, but I had to dash out of the kitchen and head for the bathroom downstairs. I flung the door open, not bothering to close it as I flipped the lid of the toilet, collapsed on my knees to the floor and emptied the contents of my stomach.

I moaned weakly as I finished and flushed the toilet, hauling myself up to the vanity to wash and rinse with mouthwash. I was gargling when I noticed Kelly was standing at the door with a silly smile on her face.

“You think me throwing up is funny?” I scowled at her after spitting and rinsing again with plain water.

“No, but I sure am excited about what’s causing it,” she responded.

I frowned at her. “What are you-” I halted as it hit me and continued in a whisper, “-talking about?”

“I think you know,” she stated, nodding her head. “It’s so obvious I wondered when you’d figure it out. You’ve been going through morning sickness like crazy and never once suspected.”

“Oh my God!” I gasped and clutched my belly as though I suddenly expected it to be the size of a beach ball. “Oh God, I’m pregnant!” I didn’t need a pregnancy test to prove it. The countless sex without a condom. Us going at it like damn jackrabbits. I had always been on the pill while William and I were in a relationship, so we hadn’t used a condom since we were exclusive. I had been comfortable with Seth not wearing a condom because of it, but completely forgetting that I needed to play a part if I was going to prevent conception. I also couldn’t remember for the life of me the last time I’d seen my period. How could I have forgotten something that had been a part of my life since I was thirteen. I was never late.

Dizziness swarmed me and I had to sit hard on the lid of the toilet. I placed my face in my hands in distress. What was I going to do? Everything was already so damn complicated. I couldn’t have a baby right now. What the hell was I going to do with a baby when I was planning to hand in my resignation? Seth and I hadn’t talked about having a family, not even marriage, though he had hinted at wanting me to be a part of his life forever. I refused to use a child to get him to stick around after he found out about my lies, and I refused to entangle him in child support.

“You know, if you’re not exactly thrilled at having Seth’s baby,” Kelly stated, reminding me she was still there, “you have another option.”

I shook my head. “No, if I’m pregnant, and we don’t know for sure that I am yet, I’m going to keep this baby.”

She smiled at me in approval. “Good. I’ll be a kick-ass aunt and Seth will make such an amazing father.”

“No, you cannot tell Seth!” I objected.

“You cannot tell Seth, what?”

I stared in horror as he appeared behind Kelly, who had jumped at his question. I paled and my mouth fell open as I glanced at Kelly to help me. She instead squirmed by Seth and hurried away.

“It’s just family stuff,” I lied, hating myself for lying to him, but what could I say? I didn’t even know if I was pregnant yet. I would need to confirm before I said anything.

“You want to try that again?” he asked, filling the doorway with his large frame. He was dressed sharply in a dark charcoal suit, his black shoes shiny. His face that I was so used to smiling was set in a hard line.

“It’s nothing,” I insisted and got to my feet. “I just didn’t feel well and didn’t want Kelly to mention it because I know how you worry.”

“Is that one of those complicated lies you have to tell me?” he inquired, and I heard the anger coating his words.

I stared at him uneasily. Did he know about Greg? No, he couldn’t. I knew Greg, knew him enough to know he wanted the information too badly to say anything to him until the bid was over and he had the information he needed from me. Seth couldn’t possibly know, so he must be angry about something else, but what?

“Did I do something to make you upset with me?” I asked. “Have I overstayed my welcome and you wish us to leave?”

“Do what you wish,” he answered and walked away.

I remained in the bathroom, my heart hurting at the callous and uncaring words. If only I knew what was wrong. I knew he didn’t like it when the improv instructor had picked on me and repeatedly complimented me. He wasn’t mad about that, was he?

When I left the bathroom with the intent of finding Seth, the front door closed behind him. Whatever he had returned for, he had found it and left. Without so much as a goodbye.

“I messed up,” Kelly stated, walking from the kitchen with big fat tears rolling down her face. “Me and my big mouth. I swear I didn’t mean to say anything, Robyn. It just slipped out.”

I froze, my blood running cold. “What do you mean?”

She swiped at her tears with her hands. “Last night we were waiting for you to get dressed,” she said, sniffling. “I don’t remember what we were talking about, but I mentioned that you worked for Greg.”

“You did what!?” I exclaimed in shock.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I swear I tried to make up for it and tell him I must have mixed the name up, but I don’t think he believed me. I think he connected all the dots.”

“Oh no,” I groaned and headed for the stairs. “I’ve got to go to work.” I had to get there to get the bag of ecstasy from Greg before Seth showed up there. Getting it was the only reason I was doing this and I would not love and lose in vain. I located my car keys and handbag and clattered back down the stairs.

“I hope I didn’t ruin things for you guys,” Kelly stated, trailing me to the door.

“Is that the reason you’re home?” I asked her in despair. “Did Seth fire you?”

She shook her head. “No, he decided to hire me on payroll so I have to do a medical. I’m going in a little later.”

“This doesn’t make any sense,” I muttered in frustration. “If he figured it out, why didn’t he say something last night or now when he was here?”

Kelly shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t matter to him.”

I thought of how he had answered me so coldly, the silence between us and our lovemaking last night. It did matter to him.

“It does, trust me,” I stated. “I don’t think we should be here when he gets home this evening. In fact, I’m going to end this relationship. I’m resigning from Halliday Inc. and I’m dropping by to collect my things and I am leaving.”

Kelly’s face paled. “You’re not even going to talk to him about it and explain?” she asked in surprise.

“What do I say to him?” I demanded, tears beginning to gather in my eyes. “You think he’s going to care because I did this for you? He’s going to be hurt that I didn’t like him for him at first, but was coerced into being with him. I don’t even know if he will believe that I love him and that I’m not just doing what Greg wants. I have to leave!”

“And take his baby with you? He deserves to know.”

“As far as we know, there is no baby,” I said firmly. “Do not let that slip, and you may want to resign from that job.”

I walked away, hurrying to the elevator and taking it up to the parking deck on the roof of the building. I unlocked my car and jumped in, driving faster than usual in an attempt to get to the office. If I were him, I’d immediately confront Greg and I had to get there before he did.

But why hadn’t he confronted me? That was the question I kept asking myself, and I had no response. Why hadn’t he immediately kicked me out?

At the office, I didn’t even park properly, my wheels curved as I hurried from the vehicle and towards Halliday Inc’s building. I barely waved good morning to the personnel at the front desk before taking the elevator upstairs. I was relieved Greg wasn’t there yet, and there was no sign of Seth either.

Once inside the office, I was unlocking the bottom drawer where I kept valuables for the office such as some keys to restricted areas of the building and any file I borrowed from Greg’s office. I saw the bunch of keys and hesitated. As his personal assistant, I had a key so I could access his office in the event he wasn’t there and something important popped up. This definitely struck me as important, so I used the key to get into the office, locking the door behind me. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought to do this before.

I rushed to his desk where he had placed the small bag of drugs the last time I saw it. I searched the drawers, shuffling papers aside and didn’t find it. I cursed beneath my breath as I moved to the filing cabinet in the room. I was checking the second drawer of the cabinet when I heard a key scraping in the keyhole. I froze and watched in horror as the door opened and a surprised Greg walked in. His face turned red with anger as he took in the scenario before him.

“Good morning,” I greeted with forced cheer. “I was, umm, looking for a file I need.”

He kicked the door shut behind him. “Cut the crap, Robyn. You and I both know what you’re looking for.” He locked the door from the inside with his key. “And I’ll give it to you, too.”

“If you touch me, I’ll scream,” I snapped at him. “Go ahead and try me. I’m done with these games, Greg. I’m quitting and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop me. Give me the pills.”

“Give me the information I asked you to get.”

I walked over to his table and snatched a sheet of paper from the notepad. I grabbed a pen from a holder and scribbled the figure on it. “This is the amount of money Seth will be bidding tomorrow,” I told him. “And I’ll rip it to shreds and conveniently have a memory lapse if you don’t give me what I want.”

“You don’t call the shots here,” he stated, his voice full of wrath.

“Except I think I do,” I murmured with a smile. “I think all this time I had the upper hand and just didn’t know it. The pills, Greg, now.”

“You have no idea who you’re playing games with, you little bitch,” he snarled at me as he walked over to the corner of the room where there was a stylish table with a vase of flowers. The table had one drawer which he opened and removed a brown envelope. “I’ll eat you alive and spit you out right at Seth’s feet.”

“Leave Seth out of this,” I snapped at him. “Just give the damn pills to me.”

He threw the brown envelope onto the desk and I ripped it open. I held up the bag and checked. They looked like the right set of colored pills. “These better-” I shrieked when he pounced on me, trying to rip the piece of paper from my hand with the figure Seth was planning to bid on TelStar. I tried to hang onto it, but his fingernails were bruising, cutting my skin and drawing blood as he forced my hand open and removed the paper.

“Got it!” he cried triumphantly, and the minute he stepped back, I rushed to the door to get out. I wasn’t giving him the opportunity to force the pills from me either. Like before, I needed to flush them fast.

“You got what you wanted,” I spat at him. “Now leave me the hell alone.”

“Not on your life sweetheart,” I heard him murmur as I opened the door with the key I had and slipped out. “Not on your life.”

I wasn’t about to linger about the office. I was done with Greg and Halliday Inc. I tried not to think about Seth and how he would feel, knowing I’d betrayed him. I swiped my bag from my desk outside Greg’s office and rushed from the building. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

On my way back to Seth’s condo, I had a pretty good grasp on what I had to do. I stopped by the department store first to grab a couple pregnancy tests. I’d never had to use one before and wondered at the accuracy of one, so I picked up two different brands. I paid for my purchase and jumped into my car to continue my journey. As thoughts of Seth tried to creep in, I forced them away. Now was not the time to break down and if I thought about him, I would. I had to try to make things right.

At his condo, I parked, knowing I’d be leaving again soon. I was going to be there only long enough to pack my clothes and leave. I couldn’t stay and witness firsthand his disappointment and hurt when he found out I had been after his bid price from the beginning. Even if I told him Greg had been blackmailing me, he wouldn’t believe I loved him.

I entered the condo and headed straight for the bathroom. I needed to know whether or not I was carrying Seth’s child. I used both kits at the same time and left them on the vanity while I rushed to the bedroom to start packing. Although the instructions on the kit asked for a waiting period of five minutes, I didn’t check until after I’d packed all my things. I wanted to erase evidence of me being here when Seth returned home. He would understand why and it would be easier for him to get over me if he wasn’t seeing constant reminders of me in his home. Too bad I couldn’t just as easily erase the memories.

I stood my bags up in the hall and returned to the bathroom, my hand shaking a little. I took in a deep breath and peered over at both results. Positive. A bitter-sweet sob tore from my throat as I wrapped my hands about my waist. I was carrying Seth’s baby. My heart squeezed with love and sadness. I couldn’t decide as yet about the future of this child with regards to his or her father but I did know of a certainty that I would be keeping my baby.

Wrapping away the evidence of my pregnancy, I disposed of them in the garbage chute. I slowly walked through the door to the bedroom and paused, staring around me. If the walls could talk, they would have a lot to say about what I’d shared with Seth – sex, love and laughter. Would I ever be able to experience this with another man?

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling then, heartbroken that through no true fault of my own, I was about to lose the one man I cared for.