Zandor
I woke the same way I fell asleep, angry. I decided to go to the club and see what had been done while I was sitting at a fucking airport all damn day waiting for her to land. Of course I had no fucking clue what flight it was, apparently the TSA wasn’t too giving of information, which I get but it still pissed me off. I played that attendant pretty hard too, but she didn’t budge.
Bekah was one stubborn woman. But she’d never been up against the likes of me. The me I never knew existed until just three weeks ago. I came back here to straighten out my brothers and fell right in the same fucking mess they had. It was like quicksand slowly taking you in but my stubborn ass wasn’t even trying to fight it, hell no I was just sinking lower and lower.
Today I would be a player again. No, not go fuck around but I wasn’t going to go knock in her door and drag her kicking and screaming to wherever it is I’d take her, regardless of how badly I wanted to. I was gonna sit back and let her wonder where I was, what I was doing. Let her wake up feeling hung over when she hadn’t even drank. I promised myself three days before I allowed myself to fucking lose it completely.
I unlocked the door to the club and saw the boxes. At least twenty of them from that place in Italy that sold my favorite toys. It was like Toys R’ Us for big boys and I loved it. I dragged them back to the room that would be the library, slash classroom, slash conference room. A room I would be passing off as an office until the day I knew I could bend her over the big old desk and fuck her hard. The day Bekah George would know absolutely everything there was to know about what I needed from her to make this a permanent situation.
I opened the first box and it was the swing. Oh how I’d missed the swing. I couldn’t wait to have her ass strapped up in this. Bekah dangling from the ceiling at various levels of height in different positions, restrained, teased, pleasured, screaming Fuck me Zandor was going to be amazing. I was going to lick her raw as she sat in it, knees in the straps spread wide, arms restrained allowing her to hold the bar so she didn’t get too marked up. I couldn’t wait to bring her right to the edge and push her away and let her come back crashing into my tongue, my lips, my face.
The other boxes contained a variety of dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, restraint devices, anything you could imagine, and even things most of the world couldn’t even begin to imagine. I was a selfish lover. I needed control of most every sexual situation I had ever encountered. It wasn’t hard to do that. But I wasn’t a complete ass, I made sure they came first. I could get a woman off just playing with her tits and fucking her with words. Or fingers flicking the bean, or stroking the G spot. I occasionally gave past partners a lick or two but Bekah, fuck I needed to eat her, lick her, fuck her with my mouth. She drove me insane, I would bathe in her scent and taste if I could.
After placing everything into the large closet, or prop room if you will, I locked up and took off. I was meeting Falcon at Karma.
~
We sat in the back of the bar, always the best place to hang out so you could take in the entire scene. I was nursing a Johnny Walker blue label, cause we have that shit here. I really wondered what would have happened had we not taken that road trip together, would she have stayed or would she have come home and we would have just done this shit right. What was right? I mean nothing that went on between us down there felt wrong until I woke to the fucking note.
“You here, Steel?”
“Yeah sorry just been thinking.”
“About the club?”
I laughed. “Nah.”
“The girl then.” He took a drink and smirked.
“The girl, always that fucking girl.” I sat back and looked around. “All this ass in here and none of them look the least bit appetizing.”
“It takes a while. But you’ll be alright man, I swear it.”
“Shelly?”
“Yeah, the one that I fucked up with.”
“But you have a son, which is pretty damn cool.”
“Life is good,” he nodded and looked around.
Two women approached the table and smiled. “Falcon?”
“Yeah?” He sat back and looked at the ginger standing before us.
“Teresa.” She smiled.
“I remember you.” He winked. “How could I forget?”
“This is my friend, Carrie. Could we buy you two a drink?”
“Have a seat, we’ll get you one.” He motioned to the cocktail waitress and she came over and took his order.
The sexual tension between the two of them was thick. Miss Carrie was a little fox but I wasn’t hunting and she wasn’t trying, I could tell.
“New around here?”
She looked at me. “Just visiting.”
“Cool place to visit but much nicer in the summer.”
She smiled. “I bet.”
I looked down at her hand. “You married?”
“Yeah are you?”
“Nope.”
“You will be someday even if you think you won’t be.” She smiled. She had a nice smile.
“I’m not against it.”
“It’s a lot of work.” She took a sip of her drink.
“You have kids?”
“Three.” She opened her bag and pulled out a small photo book and moved over to the booth next to me.
She opened the book and beamed as she talked about them. I liked this chick. Liked her, meaning she wasn’t someone I would have to worry about pleasing or taking care of.
I told her about my niece and she smiled when I pulled out a picture from my wallet of little Bell. Teresa and Falcon left the table and Carrie and I sat talking about night terrors. One of her kids had them, too. She would sleep walk and appear wide awake.
“I probably would have died if she was walking around in that state.”
“Yeah, the first time was crazy. I even called the pediatrician the next day.”
“You’re a good Mom.” I smiled and sat back.
I laughed when I pointed to Falcon and Teresa sucking face on the dance floor. She blushed and looked away.
“She likes him.” She nodded.
“Apparently.” I laughed and looked around.
I saw Tiffany first and then looked around and saw Bekah, in a pretty short skirt.
“Fuck!”
“Everything alright?” I didn’t answer and she laughed. “The blonde?”
“Bekah,” I grumbled.
“Don’t feel like you have to sit and babysit me, go say hello.”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Okay.”
She didn’t pry which was good because I probably would have spilled it all to her. Fuck, I was becoming a pussy.
“I’m going to get a drink you want one?”
“No, no more alcohol or I’ll make a scene.”
She laughed and I looked at her.
“Sorry it’s just…”
“I understand.”
“You do?”
“Yeah I do. Relationships take a lot of work.”
I sat back and watched Bekah. I could tell Tiffany was trying to make her smile. She did her best but she was hurting and I could tell. I knew it because as angry as I was I knew that it was deeper than being pissed off. I’ve felt pissed off before, I’ve been hurt before, I’ve lost someone I loved, and I’ve watched as my brothers had worked through their hurt and pain. Feeling it all. Making it my life’s mission to not get that close ever. I flipped a switch in my head, turned off that type of feeling and it worked for me.
She’d felt pain, too. Maybe not exactly as I had but it makes it no less of a feeling. She’d found someone who made her feel less hurt and then he crushed her. Now she wore it like a badge. Her own self-applied scarlet letter. That burden was holding her back from a happiness I knew I could give her. I wanted to give it to her…forever.
Carrie sat beside me again. “I hope you don’t mind but I don’t know anyone else in here. But if I become a bother, please just let me know. I know I will be catching a cab home, Teresa looks like she’ll be busy for the night and I won’t spoil her good time.”
I dragged my eyes away from my Kitten and smiled. “You’re not a bother.”
“Good, because I never get out. I’m a sit at home when the kids are in bed kind of girl. This is a big step for me.” She was more talking out loud, and it made me laugh. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be, someday I’ll probably be the same.”
“You like to read?”
“Sure, a little.”
“What do you read?”
“Hmm, Carrie I don’t think you’d like the answer to that.”
She blushed. “Magazines?”
“Worse.” I laughed and so did she.
“I read romance novels.” She giggled.
“I’ve read my fair share,” I admitted and she laughed.
“Tell me what you’ve read.”
“No way.” I laughed.
She smacked my chest. “Come on.”
“This isn’t a conversation I’m willing to have.” I smiled.
“Fine.” she giggled.
I looked up and saw Bekah standing in the middle of the floor motionless staring at me. She looked so fucking upset.
She turned around and a guy leaned in and asked her something and she nodded. The music changed to a slow song and his hands rested on her hips and that was fucking it!
“Excuse me please, Carrie.”
I stood up and pushed my way through the crowd.
“May I cut in?”
She looked up at me and scowled. “No.”
The guy looked at me expecting me to step away and I didn’t.
“She said no.” He looked away.
I took his hand and pulled it off her. “Let go motherfucker or you’ll regret it.”
“Fuck you, man, she said no,” He went to put his hand back on her hip and I grabbed his arm and jacked it up behind him.
She yelled something but I have no fucking clue what she said. I raised his arm so he was tinker belling it on his fucking tippy toes to the front door. I pushed him through it and then kicked him in the ass and watched as he fell to the ground.
“What the hell are you doing?”
I turned and saw the horror in her eyes and I wasn’t fucking thinking straight. I grabbed her hand and she tried real hard to pull away but I wouldn’t let her. I dragged her screaming behind me and opened the door and set her in the car. I got in the driver’s seat and she was almost out the door. I grabbed her shirt and yanked her back in and took off with the door still opened.
“Shut the fucking door, Bekah!”
“Are you insane?”
“You’re making me fucking insane!”
“I was dancing!”
“With some guy who wanted to fuck you!”
“It’s not your problem!”
“The fuck it’s not. You’re my…”
“I’m your nothing! You were sitting in a dark corner all wrapped up in your next fucking-- whatever you call them.”
“I was doing nothing wrong!”
“Oh, I know. That’s right, I forget you’re fucking Robin Hood. Your indiscretions mean nothing because you’re providing fuck…”
“Ladies don’t say…
“FUCK therapy to all us broken women who you can manipulate by your charm and unusually large COCK! You think that helps Zandor that you can just lay women down and fuck them better and then leave? We’re stupid! Women believe in the fairy tale, and then you walk away with a clear conscience? You’re fucked up! You’re a bad man, Zandor Steel!”
I was seriously self-absorbed because even though she just laid me out with crushing words I was still tripping on unusually large cock. “It’s a gift Bekah, not a curse.”
“Wow, there is something seriously wrong with you,” she hissed and then said nothing more.
I pulled into her parking spot and then opened the door. I tried to make it around to open hers because I am a gentleman. She was already running toward the door.
When I caught up she was breathless. “My fucking….”
“Maybe you should stop talking like that if you expect me to…” I unlocked the door and she slid in and slammed it in my face, locked it, and flipped me off.
I held up the keys fully aware that I may have the ‘Here’s Johnny’ Jack Nicholson look on my face from the movie The Shining, but I wasn’t letting her go that easy.
I ran up the stairs after her and she stood against the wall beside the door looking a mess, the same fucking way I felt.
I unlocked the door and held it open for her.
“Don’t come in.” She stood, arms crossed, shaking like a leaf.
“You really think I’m leaving right now when you just pulled that shit thinking I was going to cheat on you?”
“We’re not together.” She said slowly like I was too stupid to understand.
“Don’t say shit like that, Bekah.”
“You’re hurting me, Zandor, worse than anyone else in my life ever has. Now that you know that it should be easier for you to leave.”
“I will strip you down in every way I want and then build you back up. You’ll do as I say and you’ll like it.” I was not going to calm down, I knew what she needed, fucking me!
“You may not be able to see what it is you’re doing to me. But listen to yourself do you even hear what you’re saying to me? Do you? I was so wrong about you.” She turned to walked away and I grabbed her hand and she winced.
I looked down and her hand was red. I took it more gently and kissed it. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I don’t want that, Bekah, I want to…I want you to let me show you everything I need to about me that can make you better. Make me better. I know now how you see me…”
“The same way you saw me in North Carolina when you heard everything about me. You’re kidding yourself if you think…”
“No, you’re forgetting what it was like! What we are to each other.”
“Just stop please just stop.” She pulled her hand away from my lips.
“You deserve to be.” I stopped and closed my eyes feeling the burning rising up. The feeling of loss. “I’ll leave if that’s what you need but listen to me very carefully, Bekah, I won’t repeat this and you’ll definitely want to remember it. Quando chiudo gli occhi vedo solo te. Ti amo gattino.” I watched the confusion in her eyes so I repeated slowly three words I had never said to another woman, “Ti amo gattino.”
I walked out and closed the door and fucking just in time. I felt tears in my eyes, and I didn’t fucking cry. Ever. And I wouldn’t now.