Ghost
*Dallas*
October 1, 2015
“What? Don’t let me interrupt. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for a long time.” My body is covered in goosebumps as I stare at the impossible.
I can feel Kayla’s hand resting on my arm, holding tight as she slightly leans into me. She is in complete shock, just as I am.
How is this even possible?
I held him in my arms as he took his final breath. I saw the paramedics place his limp body on a gurney and wheel him away. Was he never dead? Was he alive this whole time, somewhere secret, and only now revealing he never died?
The uncontrollable urge to run forward and hug him is tugging at my muscles. If it wasn’t for Kayla holding onto me, I would. But all I do is continue to stare.
Then the boy who resembles Kyle to a tee arches an eyebrow. “Go on. Show her how the Perkins boys don’t lose to girls,” he says.
My stomach flips at his words. Those are the words I said to Kayla in the cafeteria after I blamed her for Kyle’s…death. I gulp, finally tearing my eyes off Kyle to look at Kayla.
She has a slight shake to her as her eyes focus on Kyle. Her grip is now tighter than before, and I realize she noticed the familiarity of the words spoken.
“How?” Her soft voice finally questions what has been on my mind. I return my attention to Kyle, who crosses his arms over his chest.
“What do you mean how? It’s my birthday. Dallas and I always come here on my birthday. I just didn’t expect to see you here.” He points at Kayla, and I arch an eyebrow.
What does that even mean? He’s speaking as if he’s alive.
Is he alive?
No. I saw his body in that oak coffin. I saw him lowered to the ground where they piled dirt over him.
Whatever is happening right now, it isn’t real.
Then how is Kayla seeing the same thing you are?
“But…but how are you here? How did you get here?” Kayla asks, bringing me back from my thoughts. I notice she’s no longer holding onto me. She has taken a step forward, her head tilted to the side.
Kyle’s brows furrow, and his eyes are downcast to the ground. I can nearly see the cogs in his brain turning as he tries to produce an answer.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember,” he says.
My heart is heavy, and my head is light. I feel as if I am about to faint.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Kayla asks, her voice so soft and gentle, as if she is talking to a wounded animal, soothing it.
“We were playing basketball. I beat you.” Kyle’s eyes are on me, and my breathing begins to pick up. “But that was the twelfth. Today is October first. How is that possible?” Kyle questions.
I close my eyes, trying to calm myself as millions of questions swim around in my mind. Perhaps this is all a dream. I’m lying in my bed right now and dreaming. I will wake up, and everything will return to normal.
Kyle will be dead.
Because he is dead.
“Dallas.” My eyes snap open, and I meet dark hazel. “What’s going on?” Kayla’s voice is shaky, and I wish I had the answer to her question.
I only shake my head. “I don’t know,” I whisper, tilting my head to gaze at Kyle from over her shoulder. “Do you remember anything else?” I ask him.
Kyle shrugs his shoulders as he kicks a rock. My eyes widen when it moves across the court.
Dead people can’t kick rocks.
“We were walking home. I was replaying the moves I pulled on you. You screamed my name and then…” Kyle lifts his head to look me straight in the eyes. My body stiffens as goosebumps cover my arms. “Cold. Everything went cold.”
I bite my bottom lip as I watch Kyle’s expressions. I can practically see the scene running over and over again in his mind. He’s trying to make sense of everything that happened, and when the look of fear settles on his features, I know he understands. “I’m dead.”
His words are a pang to my chest. I choke back a sob as I nod my head.
There are no words to describe the pain I’m feeling, telling my kid brother that he’s dead. There are no words because this is unheard of. There is no talking to the dead. There is no having conversations with the deceased. One moment you’re playing basketball and the next everything is silent, and all the things you wish you could have said are weighing heavy on the heart.
“I was shot,” Kyle says.
“Yes,” Kayla whispers softly, taking another step toward him. Kyle quickly steps back and shakes his head, eyes wide and watery with tears.
“I don’t understand. How am I here? How am I dead?” His voice trembles, and it takes everything in me to not break down crying in front of him.
However, Kayla doesn’t fight her feelings. I hear a sob escape her lips as she shakes her head. “I don’t know, Kyle. Perhaps it’s to say goodbye.” Kayla looks over her shoulder at me. “Perhaps it’s our chance to say all the things we wish we could have said,” she whispers.
My eyes return to Kyle, and he’s staring right back at me. “Dallas. I’m scared.” His voice is small. Kyle is never scared. He’s tough and brave. But right now, he’s frightened, and there is nothing I can do about it.
Because he’s dead.
He’s already dead.
Kyle walks toward me, his arms slightly opening as he goes to embrace me in a hug. I shiver as his arms wrap around my shoulders, a ghostly presence that is both felt and absent. He clings to me, and as I wrap my arms around him, it’s almost as if I’m hugging air; however, I feel a soft resistance that signifies where he is.
When he steps back, he looks over at Kayla again. “I knew you’d be friends,” he says, brushing away his tears. Kayla smiles softly at him.
“I should have listened to you,” I whisper.
“Yes. You should have.” It grows silent after that, and Kayla and I are both left staring at Kyle.
He seems to drift from the present and into thought as he stares at the letters I carved into the asphalt. A ghost of a smile is on his lips as he reads it.
“Why am I here?” he asks again. “Why am I not in Heaven?” His eyes lift to us.
“I’m not sure. Do you not feel at peace?” Kayla asks. Kyle scrunches his eyebrows and presses his lips together.
“Someone killed me.”
“Do you know who?” Kayla asks.
Kyle falls silent again, and I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for him to respond. If he knows who killed him, then I’ll be able to seek the revenge I desperately need. If he knows who killed him and I make sure the man pays, then perhaps Kyle will be at peace.
A selfish part of me silently thinks, If we don’t avenge him, then perhaps he will remain on Earth. And then we can see him again. And again.
I feel sick at the thought.
“I-I have to go,” Kyle whispers, his brows pulled together as a frown falls on his lips. What does he mean, he has to go?
“Meet us here tomorrow. Same time,” Kayla says, her voice desperate.
Kyle slowly smiles as he shakes his head. “I can’t. You guys have a date. But I will see you soon.” His eyes meet mine again and linger as his essence slowly drifts away with the wind, deteriorating right in front of our eyes.
Silence and loneliness accompany us. Neither of us speaks or moves. We just stare at the spot where my brother was just standing. My dead brother. He was gone, and again, I missed the opportunity to tell him goodbye. To tell him I loved him.
But he’ll see us soon. That’s what he said.
How soon was soon? Saturday? Will he be here on Saturday? What if by soon, he means a whole other year? What if I have to wait until his next birthday to see him again?
I bite my bottom lip as I feel it tremble. It’s as if I am losing him all over again.
Arms slip around my waist, and a warm head presses against my chest. I feel the body in my arms shake as sobs wrack through Kayla. I cling tightly to her, resting my chin on top of her head as tears roll down my cheeks.
Why did he come to us? Why the tease? I just accepted the fact that he was gone forever. And now he just shows up? For what? To cry in front of me and tell me that he’s scared? To remind me that I failed my little brother again?
There has to be a reason Kyle appeared the moment Kayla and I played basketball together. And the next time that I see him, I’ll be sure to find out the answer.