Acceptance
*Dallas*
September 28, 2015
After Kayla dropped me off at my house on Saturday at three, I took a shower, ate a hearty lunch, and then slept until the next morning. Waking up on Sunday, I felt as if my stomach was heavy, and my head was pounding. I remember vividly the conversation I had with Kayla.
She showed up in the moment I needed someone the most. She was there, talking me away from the bottle of whiskey and reminding me that from now on, I am to be living in honor of Kyle. Not in pain or hatred or anger.
I do have to apologize to her in some extravagant way. I should never have said the things I did to her. It was all out of blind anger, and I regret it completely. Kayla is everything my mother and brother said she is.
Kayla Williams is kind. She is selfless and charismatic. She is a bookworm; however, she doesn’t seem to miss anything that’s going on around her. Her smile lights up the room, and her laugh sends goosebumps up my arms. She’s smart, and…perhaps she is good at basketball. That is still something I’ll have to see for myself.
So Friday night, I will take her out for a movie and dinner. I will apologize for everything, and hopefully from there, we can start a new relationship.
I want Kayla to see me as the man Kyle looked up to. The man my mother was proud of.
I have decided that I need to focus on my schoolwork these next few weeks. Only on school and my friendships. When basketball tryouts come into play, I will hopefully know if I am stable enough to be on the team one last year.
Today is Monday, and while I liked being off school and sleeping in, I have to go back. I’ve already missed too much schoolwork. Tyler and Mikey have been great with providing the homework to me. However, it’s time I went back for good.
When my mom sees me in the kitchen this morning, she isn’t as upset that I’m going back. Instead, she’s making me toast. She is dressed this morning in faded jeans and a simple t-shirt. Her hair is blown dry, and I find myself smiling.
“I hope you have a great day back, sweetie,” she whispers in my ear when she gives me a hug goodbye. I gently squeeze her before I grab my bag and jog outside to my Jeep. It’s a good thing I checked the weather and threw the soft top over my car yesterday, or it would be drenched.
The drive to school is short, and when I pull in, I smile at the students walking in. Again, many girls are carrying Starbucks cups or even Dunkin Donuts.
I jog into the school, shaking my damp hair as I quickly walk to my locker. Tyler and Mikey are waiting there, talking and shoving each other.
“Dallas. Who would win in a fight? Aragorn or Daryl?” I smile at Mikey. Mikey obviously favors Aragorn. The Lord of the Rings trilogy is his favorite movies.
Tyler favors Daryl. His favorite show is The Walking Dead. I personally think both are equally awesome; however, there is no question as to who would be the winner.
“Aragorn. Obviously,” I say, opening my locker.
“Ha! I told you!” Mikey shouts, and Tyler gives Mikey’s shoulder a shove, turning silent. All three of us are competitive, and we don’t like to lose. Even if it’s to a stupid question.
“Aragorn is a Dúnedain. He has elongated life. His best friend is Legolas, an elf. He has explicit training on both bow and sword,” I explain, not caring that I sound like a nerd. All three of us enjoy those movies, and we’re not ashamed. “Oh. And he’s also a king. Now. If you asked Ragnar verses Aragorn…that would have been different.”
Tyler slaps a hand to his forehead, groaning. “Damn! That is such a better opponent!” I laugh. Vikings is another show we like to watch.
“We are idiots,” I mumble, turning and walking toward our Government class. We say goodbye to Mikey before we head in and sit in the back.
When Psychology comes around, I’m a little nervous to see Kayla again. What does she think of me? That I’m some unstable drunk? That’s just not true. Sure, I was unstable and I was drunk; but I don’t drink regularly. In fact, I hardly drink because of basketball.
Kayla is sitting in the back, her head bowed as she quietly reads. I notice the seat next to her is empty, so I walk over to sit beside her. She doesn’t take her eyes off the book, absorbing everything written on the pages.
Only when she’s finished with the chapter does she close the book and sigh, a small smile on her lips. Must have been a good chapter. Her eyes shift over to me, and they slightly widen.
“D-Dallas. Hi,” Kayla stutters slightly. Her hazel eyes drift downward to my hand on the table before they dart to my face. She has a blush on her cheeks.
“Hi, Kayla. How was your weekend?” I ask, picking up my pencil and twirling it around my fingers.
“Oh, it was fine. I had to deal with some drunk teenager Saturday afternoon.” She shrugs, a small smile on her lips. “Apparently he’s taking me to a movie now.” I can’t help but laugh gently.
Kayla has a talent at being able to carry any conversation and make it light and easy. Even when I was crying on the courts, she was still able to lighten the mood a little.
“Well, I think that guy has a lot of making up to do if he made you deal with his drunk self. Couldn’t have been fun,” I respond, playing along with her third person conversation.
Kayla shrugs again. “It wasn’t too bad. In a way, I think a small spark of friendship was formed. But that could have just been me.” I smile.
She feels the same way. That the stupid drunken haze actually formed a friendship. One I am determined to keep.
“I think you’re right.”
“Yeah?” she asks. A full smile breaks her lips, and I notice her spine straighten in hope. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to be her friend.
Yes, I understand that I was always hard and cruel to her, but I always saw her as a threat to my relationship with Kyle. I was wrong. She would have been the glue.
Kayla is the answer, the person I need to talk with to cast light on what Kyle’s life looked like outside of basketball. I need her to help me grow closer to his memory.
I need Kayla because I somehow feel Kyle’s presence when I’m with her.
I need Kayla because she is the person who talked me back from the darkness.
I need Kayla because everyone was right. And already I don’t want to think about having her out of my life.
All of these reasons…I’ll make sure I never push her away, never harm her or let harm come to her.
Yes, Kayla. A friendship for you has formed within me. However, I look to you as so much more. In the little time I have known you, you have saved me in more ways than you will ever know.