“What the hell are you doing, Gage?” Katie’s pale-blue eyes widened, then they narrowed. The second her brow creased, I was in trouble—not surprising, considering I was always in trouble around this one. However, the instant she sat up, a tiny voice that sounded very much like Corinne told me to run.

I held up my hands in a show of surrender and took a giant step back. “The bible says you should sleep on your side…specifically your left side. It’s better for the baby. Something about blood flow and nutrients and the placenta.”

With a scowl marring her face, she grabbed the pillow that had been beneath her head moments ago and threw it at me. I wasn’t sure why, but it seemed most of the people in my life liked to chuck objects in my direction. Luckily, this one was made of feathers, so its impact didn’t hurt.

“You know…” I cocked my head to the side. “You’re much nicer when you’re asleep.”

“Yeah, so maybe you should remember that next time you think about waking me up.”

“I wasn’t trying to wake you up. In fact, I was very quiet. I made sure to take my shoes off before coming in and even tiptoed to your bed. If you hadn’t been sleeping on your stomach, I wouldn’t have any reason to move you. So really, this is your fault. You have no one to be upset with but yourself.” This was the moment the present me told the past me to shut up right after the first sentence.

If she would’ve had another pillow on the bed, she would’ve hit me with that one, too. Thankfully, she didn’t. Instead, she shifted onto her knees, pressed her balled fists into the mattress, and leaned toward me like a rabid dog pulling on a chain.

“This is my room, Gage. Mine. I was aslee—”

“On your stomach.” It seemed like the right thing to say at the time.

Katie fell back on her haunches and shook her head in dismay. “Yeah…because that’s how I like to sleep. It’s comfortable, and who knows how long I’ll be able to do it, so I might as well enjoy it while I can.”

“But the bible says it’s bad for the baby.”

“I realize it’s been a while since I’ve been to church, but I’m fairly certain there’s no such passage in the Bible regarding the way a pregnant woman sleeps.”

I shook my head and tried to bite back my laughter. “Not that bible. I’m talking about the one people buy when they’re having a baby. What to know when you’re knocked up…or something like that.”

“You mean, What to Expect When You’re Expecting? When did you read that?”

I propped my hands on my hips and puffed out my chest, fully proud of myself for the impressive initiative I had. “I read it in the mornings while I run. It’s chock full of information, and not just for the mother-to-be, either. It has great insight for expecting fathers.”

“Oh my God…I just can’t with you. First of all, how in the world do you read and run at the same time?”

“Easy. Treadmill. Next question.”

She rolled her eyes and attempted to drag her hands through her hair, which only served to piss her off even further. When her fingers became trapped in the whitish-blond bird’s nest atop her head, she fisted the messy curls and growled. Seriously, it was like a scene straight out of Ghostbusters. All she was missing were the two red-eyed gargoyles.

I couldn’t help but picture Katie, channeling Sigourney Weaver’s character from the movie, saying, “I want you inside me.” As embarrassing as it would be to admit, I was half turned on and half scared shitless. Although, my disturbing fantasy didn’t go far because she spoke—in her usual, irritated tone, which ironically, wasn’t that different from the Gatekeeper’s voice I’d imagined her using a second ago—and pulled my attention back to the crazy woman in front of me.

“I don’t even know where you have a treadmill, nor do I care right now. It doesn’t matter what you read in that book—or from the internet or hear from others—you don’t have the right to come into my room while I’m asleep and try to turn me over because I’m not laying in the position you think I should be.” The instant she finished that sentence, she pointed a finger at me and added, “Don’t you dare make a sexual comment about positions.”

She knew me too well. “Listen…I’m sorry I woke you. It wasn’t my intention. I just happened to learn about how good it is for an unborn baby when the mother is on her left side.”

“That’s another thing!” Her voice got higher as she found yet another point to make. “You weren’t rolling me onto my left side, dumbass! So you did all this for nothing!”

I held up both hands in front of me, palms facing her so that my index fingers and thumbs created two Ls, one backward and the other the right way. Dropping my right arm, I closed one eye and focused on the spitfire as if I were looking through the site of a rifle. “Nope. Incorrect there, Katiebug. I was definitely rolling you onto your left side.”

“In case you were wondering…every time you speak, you make me worried about the future of this baby. That’s your left, not mine.”

I turned around, putting Katie and the bed to my back, and held my hands out again, this time, realizing my mistake. “Well, would you look at that. Huh. That was the wrong side.” I glanced over my shoulder and caught Katie rolling her eyes. “My bad.”

“Oh my God. Get out, Gage.”

“Sure thing. I have to go make breakfast, anyway. See you downstairs in ten.”

I quickly left the room before she had a chance to argue. Then again, I just told her I was making her food, so there was a slim chance she’d fight me on it. In the four days we’d been living together, the only time I could get her in the same room with me was when I fed her. Granted, I wasn’t a chef and had never owned a cookbook, but so far, she hadn’t complained. I figured I’d take advantage of her appetite while she was with child and use it to my advantage.

Less than ten minutes later, Katie came bounding down the steps and into the kitchen. It wasn’t surprising that she didn’t say anything to me—she never did—but that didn’t mean I’d stop trying. She’d have to eventually give in and stop hating me. At least, that’s what I told myself.

When she reached for the plate filled with scrambled eggs and toast, I shooed her away. “That’s mine. Go sit down, and I’ll bring you yours when it’s done,” I said and pointed the spatula to the card table I had set up in place of the wooden one I’d taken to refinish.

She huffed and walked away. Then she made a show of throwing herself into the folding chair like Corinne did when she was sent to timeout. It was cute when Corinne did it, not so much when it was Katie proving how much she couldn’t stand me. I thought four days would’ve been plenty of time to win her over, but it didn’t seem to be the case with this one.

When her eggs were done and the two slices of bread popped up from the toaster, I took both plates to the table and went back for our drinks. Two glasses of orange juice and a handful of pills later, I took my seat in front of her.

“What are these?” she asked while studying the assorted capsules in front of her.

“Vitamins. I read about all the good ones you need and even asked the clerk at the drugstore about which prenatal was the best.”

Her gaze lifted from the table to my face, and the pale-blue color turned so light they were almost see-through. Every now and then she’d look at me like this, almost in awe, yet I couldn’t figure out why. Actually, it made me a little uncomfortable at times, as I wasn’t sure how to react to the brief glimpses of affection in her stare. Although, this time, I was pretty sure it was confusion rather than adoration.

“When did you get these?” A hint of surprise danced in her soft-spoken words.

“This morning.” I shrugged and scooped a spoonful of egg into my mouth. “I went after my run.”

Normally, she’d berate me for talking with my mouth full, but not this time. Instead, she went back to studying the pills on the table. “What’s this?” She held up the black bean and squinted as if she needed glasses to see it. “Is this a coffee bean?” And just like that, the Katie I knew was back.

“Yeah. You won’t shut up about coffee, so I got you some.”

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

I lifted one shoulder and took another bite. “Eat it. Smell it. Doesn’t matter to me what you do with it. Heck…drag it through a cup of hot water and call it a latte for all I care.”

In the blink of an eye, she was out of her seat and racing into the kitchen. I knew exactly what she was doing—looking for the bag of coffee beans. Although, if she knew me half as well as she acted like she did, she’d know I wouldn’t have kept it in the kitchen.

After slamming closed numerous cabinet doors and then the pantry, she returned to the table—with zero enthusiasm, I might add. Had I known how excited she’d get at the thought of coffee, I would’ve bathed in it and stored a few beans in my pants. Actually, that wasn’t a bad idea. I made a mental note to do so the next morning to see if it made her like me better.

“You know…I made your food last so it wouldn’t be cold. Letting it sit there kinda defeats the purpose, don’t ya think?” I pointed to her untouched plate with my fork, avoiding looking at her face.

She huffed as she picked up her silverware and began to stab at her eggs. “At some point, we’re going to have to have a serious conversation about this baby, Gage. The season starts in a week and then you’ll be gone. We don’t have all the time in the world, you know.”

Anytime she’d tried to bring this up, I managed to avoid it. But there didn’t seem to be a way to get out of it this time—other than shove as much food into my mouth as possible. Which, in my case, was a lot. However, I hadn’t thought about the fact that doing so would mean I’d finish my breakfast in a few bites and then be left with nothing else to keep me from answering. Unless I got up and ran out of the house, which I didn’t think would go over too well—especially since I was here to prove to her that she wouldn’t have to do this alone.

So, after washing down my last bite with the remaining orange juice in my cup, I wiped my mouth and took my dishes to the sink. “Good talk, Crispy Cream.”

“Gage Aaron Nix.” Leave it to Katie to pull out my middle name to keep me from leaving the room.

I turned my face to the ceiling, shook my fist in the air, and muttered, “Damn you, Granny. Damn you for letting her know my whole name.”

“Don’t bring Granny into this. You know as well as I do that if she were here, she’d have you strapped to this chair until we figured out what we’re gonna do about this baby.”

“Actually, if she were still here, there wouldn’t be a baby.” Damn, that was the wrong thing to say.

Not because it pissed her off—because it didn’t—but because it made me remember things I wished I could forget. Such as the night I’d spent with Katie. As incredible as it was to be with her, be inside her…the memory of her body would never take away the pain that crept into my chest every time I thought about why we ended up in bed in the first place.

“Is that how you really feel?” Sadness mixed with indignation laced her voice.

“You know what I mean.” I collapsed into the seat I’d vacated and pressed my palm against my forehead to avoid eye contact. I couldn’t handle seeing the disappointment I was sure lined her face.

“Actually, I don’t. But that’s neither here nor there. I need to know how to proceed with this pregnancy, Gage. You keep giving me mixed signals, and I’m not sure how to take any of them. I want to believe that your actions are genuine, that you honestly want this baby. But the truth of the matter is, I can’t afford to be naïve, only to find out after it’s too late that you didn’t mean any of this.”

I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands, needing to collect my thoughts before speaking. There were things about my life that the public was aware of, and things only a select few knew. And then there were the private memories no one had knowledge of. Right now, I was stuck between telling her those parts of me and giving her the pretty version with just enough information to make her understand.

But she didn’t give me enough time to make a decision about either before she continued her lecture. “It’s easy for a father to say they’re going to be involved and take responsibility while the woman is pregnant, because right now, it’s just an idea. It’s not real to you—and I don’t blame you for that. You can’t see it, feel it, smell it, hear it. Right now, to you, it’s like it doesn’t exist. If it weren’t for the changes in my own body, I might feel the same. But I can’t risk you changing your mind once you realize the reality of it.”

“I don’t know how else to tell you that I’m in, Katie.” Defeat dripped from my words. “You’ll never believe me until he’s here and I don’t go anywhere. Until then, all I can do is promise I’ll do everything I can for you and him. Hell, every morning I read about what to do and not do during pregnancy to ensure you and my baby are okay. Every night I look shit up online for things I can do now, because I feel useless. You’re the one carrying him. You’re the one having to make all these sacrifices. I can’t do any of that for you, so the only thing I can do is learn as much as humanly possible and do my best to support you for the next six months.”

Her throat dipped with her swallow, and her gaze fell to the center of the table. I couldn’t see any visible tears, but by the way her shoulders slumped and she blinked repeatedly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she were on the verge of crying.

I waited for her to say something else, and when she didn’t, I finished what I had to say in order to end this conversation once and for all. “I never wanted to be a father. I love kids—hell, Corinne’s my best friend—but I’ve lived with a constant fear that being a shit father is genetic, and I never wanted to find out how true that was. Because if it is, I can’t make it right. And I won’t lie…when you told me that you were pregnant and the baby was mine, I freaked the fuck out. I ran away and holed myself up in my house. I tried to pretend it wasn’t real.”

She sniffled and dropped her chin, hiding her emotion.

I reached across the table and took her hand in mine, forcing her to release the fork she lazily held between her fingers. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for my reaction. I left you alone when you needed me the most, and that wasn’t fair. Especially since you were there for me when I needed it. I can’t go back in time and change my behavior or right my wrongs. But what I can do is make it right from here on out. And that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. I may have never wanted a kid, yet now that I’m having one, I can’t imagine taking that away.”

Katie nodded, slipped her hand out of my gentle hold, and pushed herself away from the table. Without another word, she left the room—and her half-eaten breakfast. This was exactly why I had avoided this conversation. I had no idea what I did or said to make her cry, what I could’ve possibly done to upset her, but I wished I could’ve taken it back.

There was a reason I didn’t bare myself to many people.

Being the stupid jock was much simpler.

* * *

Corinne sat next to me on the couch while ESPN played on the screen in front of us. There were only a few days left of Spring Training, and she wanted to watch the Titans play. She always got excited when she’d see the trident—Ellie said it was because she knew her daddy used to play for the team, but I knew the truth. She loved the Titans because I was their best player.

“You gonna miss me when I’m gone?” I asked and handed her the tub of Nutella.

“Yeah!” She bounced on the cushion like I’d just asked if she wanted to go to the park.

I shouldn’t encourage her in case she got loud. Katie was still in bed sleeping, and after our conversation yesterday at breakfast, I wasn’t in the mood for a repeat. Then again, I had a member of my support system with me this morning, so I felt safe.

“You know, your words and actions don’t really match. You’re gonna fit right in with the rest of the female population. Just do me a favor, will ya?”

She stuck her fingers into her mouth and mumbled, “Sure.”

“If a guy wants to prove something to you, let him. Unless, of course, he’s already tried and let you down. Then you tell him, ‘no way, Jose.’”

“No way, Jose,” she repeated. “No, no, no.”

“Good girl.” I patted her on the head and went back to watching the pre-recorded game. “Do you think Katie will ever stop hating me?”

Corinne placed her tiny, chocolate-covered hand on my arm. “Hate is bad,” she said, vigorously shaking her head on the last word.

“I know. Someone should tell Katie that.”

“Someone should tell me what?” Out of all the times she came down the stairs, she chose this one to do it quietly. Go figure—she probably sensed we were talking about her and wanted to sneak up on us.

“Hate is bad.” Instead of shaking her head as she elongated the word “bad,” she held up her pointer finger and wagged it back and forth, just like I’d seen her mother do time and time again when unjustly punishing this sweet angel.

Katie glanced between the toddler at my side and me, standing directly in my line of sight of the television. Apparently, she didn’t care that I couldn’t see through her wild hair, because she didn’t move, no matter how obvious I made the fact I couldn’t see the game.

“Yeah, Katiebug, hate is bad.” When in doubt, repeat a child.

“I’m not really sure why you’re having a two-year-old tell me that, but okay. Is Coby here?”

“Nope. He dropped off my wingman about an hour ago to run some errands. So you can uncross your arms now.” I wagged my brows, not caring if my insinuation of seeing her braless in a thin shirt pissed her off. “No need to get all modest in front of me. I’ve seen. I’ve tasted. I likey.”

Katie’s stare narrowed and darkened just as the crease between her brows deepened. “Don’t talk like that in front of her.”

“What? She doesn’t know what I’m talking about.”

Just then, Corinne giggled, calling our attention to her scrunched face and squinted eyes. “Likey,” she repeated, full of hilarity. And then, as if on purpose, she wiped her hand down her pink shirt, directly over her chest.

“See? She knows exactly what you meant.” Katie stomped her foot and then ran for the stairs.

Before she made it to the top, I called out, “No she doesn’t. She was just wiping off her hand. Right, Rinny?”

“Right, Age.” With a stern nod, she licked her lips and went right back to the tub of Nutella in her lap. Either the spoon was too big or she was too small, because it seemed she had difficulties scooping out the chocolatey goodness and bringing it to her mouth.

I didn’t care, though—as long as she was happy, I was happy.“You know, you’re not supposed to scare her off. You’re supposed to make her want to be around me. It’s kinda hard to win her over with my impeccable charm if she’s never in the same room.”

With a mouthful of Nutella, Corinne gave me some amazing advice. I couldn’t be sure of the exact wording, since not much of it was intelligible, but I got the gist of it—if Katie won’t be in the room with me, I should be in the room with her.

“You’re such a smart kid. I hope I’m as smart as you are when I’m older.” I licked my spoon and dug in for more. There was nothing better than quality time with my best friend, and since Corinne was a direct extension of Coby, it was the same thing in my mind.

“You wike Eighty?”

“Yeah, I like Katie. She’s nice—to other people. I’ve had fun with her before, so I know she has it in her to pull the stick out of her ass. I mean, butt.” I faced her and leveled my stare with hers. “Don’t tell your mama I said a bad word, got it?”

“Yup!”

I hoped she meant yeah, she got it, though I wasn’t about to confuse her by asking. Not to mention, there was a good chance she’d already forgotten my slip-up, and reminding her might provoke her to tell Ellie. And if that happened, I’d be grounded.

“Good. Thanks, doll. Anyway…yeah, I guess you could say I like her. It’s kinda like your mom. We’re friends, even though she denies it most of the time. If push came to shove, she’d admit she cares about me. And if she knew without a doubt your dad would never find out, she might even confess to being in love with me. But we’ll never know for sure since your father stole her from me.”

Just then, a loud, barking laugh came from behind me. Either Katie intentionally quieted her steps, or someone came into the house while I was sleeping and added padding to the stairs. I’d been renovating this house for months, so I was confident the latter hadn’t happened.

“What’s so funny, Crispy Cream?” I asked when Katie joined us on the couch in the living room, no longer dressed in her sexy night clothes.

“I really wish you’d stop calling me that.”

“What’s the point in having the last name Crisp if no one can use it for creative nicknames?”

“You think you’re the first person to call me that?”

“Well, I did. Not anymore. Thanks for making me feel stupid.”

“Stupid a bad word,” Corinne added.

“You’re right. It is. Don’t tell Mommy I said that, either. Okay?”

She gave me a thumbs-up and went back to her snack.

“Fine. I won’t call you that anymore. I’ll just have to come up with something original, that no one else has ever called you. In the meantime…what’s so funny, Rice Crispy?”

She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. “Oh, nothing. I just find your delusions amusing.”

“Delusions?” I snatched the jar from Corinne and eyed the contents. “Did you put shrooms in here?”

“Oh my God, you’re stu—” Katie’s eyes flicked to Corinne and then back to me. “You’re intellectually challenged. Not hallucinations. Delusions. Such as your belief that Ellie is in love with you or that Coby stole her from you.”

“What do you know? You’ve never seen Ellie, and you only met Coby once less than a week ago. Clearly, you’re the one with delusions.”

“It doesn’t matter that I’ve never met her or don’t know him. Granny did, and she filled me in on the whole saga. She thought it was amusing, and at least once a week, she’d sit on the porch with a glass of tea and talk about the three of you like you were all her grandchildren.”

There was no way any of this was true. “She’d never sit around and laugh at me.”

“No. She didn’t laugh at you.” Katie’s eyes softened, as if she knew she’d hit a sore spot with me and felt bad. “But she was fully aware that you didn’t have feelings for Ellie like you used to pretend you did. She told me all about your antics. Like how you’d do or say things to rile Coby up because you could see he loved Ellie and you wanted to push him to realize that on his own. Or how you used to ask Ellie out all the time because you knew she loved him just as much, but she hadn’t admitted it to herself yet, and you wanted to keep her from dating anyone before Coby got his head out of his rear and did something about it. Yeah, Granny told me everything.”

Okay, so maybe it was all true. And once again, I wanted to raise my fist in the air and curse Granny for spilling my secrets. Then again, they weren’t really all that well kept. I mean, most of the guys on the team knew the truth, and the few who didn’t were either new or just thought I was lying to save face. It didn’t matter to me, because I knew what really happened. Coby was my best friend, and Ellie was his. A blind man could see they were in love long before they ever did, and knowing I had a hand in those two being together, I didn’t care what others believed.

Hell, I deserved a medal for getting Ellie to break Coby’s third-base curse. Seriously, Babe Ruth had nothing on Coby Kyler. There was a time I felt bad for getting laid, knowing he wasn’t. Although, not bad enough that it kept me from rounding the bases and sliding into home. I mean, I was the Home Run King for a reason.

“Are you two seriously eating Nutella straight out of the jar with spoons?” The disgust that curled her lip pulled me from my thoughts and almost made me laugh. The only reason I didn’t was that Katie had become a ticking time bomb, and any hint of happiness made her detonate.

“The kid said she was hungry, and knowing Coby, he didn’t feed her breakfast.”

“Did he bring a bag or anything for her?”

I pinched my brows in confusion. “Of course. It’s over there.”

She got up and went to the backpack next to the front door where I had pointed and then came back with a grocery bag full of snacks. Holding it in one hand, she jutted out her hip and tapped her foot on the unfinished hardwood floor.

“That wasn’t there before.”

Rather than argue, she simply shook her head and took the food to the kitchen. “Regardless, why are you eating Nutella out of the jar with spoons?” she called out from the other room.

“What else was I supposed to eat it with? We’re out of bread.” I leaned closer to Corinne and whispered, “She asks silly questions, doesn’t she?”

Corinne nodded, agreeing—she truly was a smart kid.

“I have to admit, Gage…” Katie came back to the living room but didn’t take a seat on the couch. “I’m a little concerned with Coby’s parenting. No person in their right mind would leave their toddler with you unsupervised.”

“He said I needed practice. He’s helping me prepare for fatherhood.”

“You’re failing…miserably.”

“How? She’s happy. Aren’t you, Rinny?”

“Yeah!” Again, Corinne bounced on her bottom in excitement.

Katie regarded the child next to me and offered one of her rare smiles—the kind that barely lifted the corners of her mouth yet shone brightly in her eyes. It had been a while since I last saw one of those, probably before Granny died. It was the kind of smile I’d spent years trying to earn from her. I knew if I ever saw it directed at me, that would mean she no longer hated me. Needless to say, that hadn’t happened yet.

“I’m going to run to the store. I’ll be right back.”

“Oh, while you’re there, can you pick up a few things for me?”

Katie stilled and turned nervous eyes to me. “Um, sure. What do you need?”

I held up a finger to have her wait and then ran into the kitchen for the list I had stuck to the fridge. “I’ve read a whole article last night about foods you should be eating. They say you’re eating for two, but you’re really not. And even though you need to gain weight, there’s a difference between good and bad weight.”

She took the list from my hand and studied it. “I don’t need all this. I’ll be fine. But thanks for the thought.”

“Listen, I’m not trying to control what you eat and drink—or even how you sleep—I’m just trying to follow good advice for the sake of you and the baby. I’ll even do all this with you. Well, except the prenatal vitamins. I’m not sure those will do me any good. But I’ll give up caffeine and eat this shit, too.”

She smiled, although it wasn’t like the one she’d given Corinne. This one was almost sad, and I had no idea why. However, she didn’t argue with me. Instead, she nodded and walked away.

I resumed my seat on the couch and went back to watching the game, even though I no longer paid any attention to it. Corinne babbled next to me, and I did my best to keep up with her, but my thoughts were stuck on Katie, and that sad, pitiful grin that sat heavy on her naturally pink lips.

Less than an hour after she left the house, my phone chimed with a text.

I don’t know why, but reading those words did something to me. It filled me with an emotion I was unfamiliar with, and for the life of me, I never wanted it to go away.

See you soon. I don’t think I had ever said that to anyone other than Granny. And somehow, saying it to Katie felt completely different yet exactly the same. It made no sense, although I had no desire to analyze it. Then I locked my phone and took notice of the date.

The season started in six days. Nearly every afternoon, I was on the field practicing with all the players who weren’t on the Spring Training roster. It wasn’t like I could’ve forgotten when the first game was—or where, for that matter. Yet that was different, because I’d come home after my workout. Now, staring at the date and realizing I had to leave in less than a week and would be gone, out of state, for five days, I suddenly dreaded the one thing I’d always looked forward to.

See you soon.

Yeah, right. It should’ve been: I won’t see you for long.