Chapter Nine
For Beverly the weekend was a dream. It was odd having to lie on her side for the entire massage, but she was pleased it wasn’t hurting the baby. Colin was at her beck and call, taking her everywhere she wanted to go, and making sure she got her Mexican food fix.
“Are you going to need to keep eating this much Mexican food after the baby is born?” he asked on Saturday evening as they sat down to one of the local Mexican places.
“I hope not, but maybe. She seems to want Mexican more than anything else in the world.”
He shook his head. “She’s already turning our lives upside down, and she’s not even here yet.”
“It will be even worse when she is here. Midnight feedings, diaper changes, and all. My whole world is going to have to revolve around her.”
He started to ask her if she was sure that’s what she wanted, but he checked himself. There would be no negative words about the baby that weekend. He would adjust and that would be the end of it. “Are you feeling better after your massage?”
“Definitely. I needed that relaxation in a way I haven’t needed anything in a very long time.” Beverly reached out and covered his hand with hers. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. When I realized how much you hurt, I felt like I’d neglected you more than I should during this pregnancy. I’m going to make up for it.”
She smiled. “There’s no need.” It sounded like he was accepting the baby more and more, and that’s all she asked. “I appreciate all the furniture you’ve built, and you really went above and beyond this weekend.”
“I wish I’d done more all along.” He picked up his menu. “Now what Mexican food have you not figured out how to cook and made a dozen times in the past few months…”
Beverly swatted his arm with a giggle. “I haven’t been that bad.”
“I’ve had every kind of Mexican food known to man. You’ve definitely been that bad.”
“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. Baby girl got what she needed.”
And for Colin, that was the bottom line right there. The baby was more important than anything or anyone else in his world. He’d have to get used to it or he’d have to end their marriage. Why should he have to choose?
*****
Monday morning, Beverly had a bout of renewed energy. She hurried through the house, cleaning everything. Every quilt, every surface, and every floor. By the time she was ready to start supper, every single surface shined.
She had even skipped her nap for the first time since she’d found out she was pregnant, determined that she would have the house spotless the first time little Sara saw it. Throwing together a thick, hearty soup, which she knew was Colin’s favorite after a long day at work, she was pleased with her day. It had been long and hard, but now she felt ready to have the baby. She’d even taken the time to pack her hospital suitcase, which included two tiny little outfits for the baby.
Colin was a bit later than usual, and she waited at the window, watching for him. When he finally came in, he looked exhausted. “Is everything all right?” she asked, hurrying to him and hugging him. “You’ve never been this late getting home!”
“A tourist decided to get a selfie with a moose today. I had to stay with him until the care flight arrived. They’re still not sure he’s going to make it. Why don’t people read the signs about not approaching the wildlife?” He shook his head, holding her tightly. “Don’t go near the moose, okay?”
“I wouldn’t. I’m not a stupid tourist. I’m a native Alaskan now, remember?”
He grinned, happy she could pull him out of his sadness at what he’d seen that day. There had been an entire patch of snow covered in the idiot’s blood. “You think you are. I’m going to give you the test later. You can’t be a native unless you pass.”
“I can do it! I can do anything!” At the moment her superpower was growing another human inside her, but she was sure she could learn more about Alaska than he already knew. She had Google, and she knew how to use it.
He sniffed deeply. “Did you make soup?”
She nodded. “I found a new recipe for enchilada soup. I thought between the heat of the soup and the spiciness of it, you’d feel warmed from the inside out.”
“And you wanted Mexican.”
“That had very little to do with it,” she said with a grin, knowing he wouldn’t believe her—and he shouldn’t. Her Mexican food obsession had been epic, and she wasn’t even ashamed of it.
“Uh huh.” He looked down and saw that he had blood on his hands and jeans. “I’m going to shower before supper. If you’re super hungry, go ahead and start without me.”
“Don’t think I won’t! I’m a pregnant woman, and I’m hungry! You can’t delay my meal!”
He sighed, shaking his head. “I need five minutes.”
Despite her words, she hurried into the kitchen and set the table, putting a huge portion of soup into each of their bowls. She got them glasses of water, and just as she was sitting down, he emerged from the bathroom, his hair still wet from his shower. Her heart beat faster as she watched him walk toward her. How was it that she hadn’t gotten used to him in the almost nine months they’d been married?
“The house looks great. What did you do today?” he asked as he sat beside her at the table. “Please tell me you didn’t do all that yourself.”
Beverly shrugged. “Of course I did. I want the house to be beautiful when I bring Sara home. Tomorrow I’m going to make sure her room is perfect.”
“Don’t do too much. I can help you with anything you need tonight. Or I can find someone who will clean for you. I don’t want you hurting yourself, or going into early labor.”
“You know that if I go into labor now, it won’t be early? It’ll just be labor, right?” She had no qualms about physical labor like she had early in her pregnancy. Her little princess had cooked enough that she could be born at any time she was ready.
He shook his head at her, his eyes wide. “I’m not ready.”
“I will be by tomorrow evening. And she’ll come when she comes. Babies have a way of ignoring calendars and doing whatever they want to do.”
He shook his head with a sigh. “What are we going to do with her?”
“Love her.” She shrugged, knowing he was still struggling with the idea of being a father. “At first, she’ll just sleep, eat, and dirty her diapers, but within six months or so, she’ll be awake a lot. We won’t have a problem until she starts crawling and getting into everything.” She wondered if she and Sara would still be with him then. Usually she thought so, and then there were times like this when she truly had no idea what he wanted at all.
“I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to help with her much…”
“You work outside the home. I’ll be her primary caregiver, and I’ll be the one to feed her. You might be asked to change a diaper from time to time, but if you’re adamantly opposed to that, then I’ll do it.”
“Sounds good to me.” It didn’t. He still wasn’t sure what she saw as the appeal, but he’d try his hardest to love the baby, for her sake.
“Do you want to have a movie night tonight?” she asked. “I ordered a couple of new movies from Amazon, and I thought you might want to watch them with me.”
“What movies?” He didn’t necessarily trust her taste in movies.
“Some of the new superhero movies that are out. I thought we could both enjoy those.”
Colin grinned at her. “You’re the best wife a man could ever ask for.”
Beverly laughed. “Next time maybe we’ll watch a chick flick. I love rom-coms.”
He wrinkled his nose. “I think we should stick with superhero movies!”
She didn’t tell him to expect Disney princess movies to be the norm in just a couple of years. He’d dread the baby coming even more.
*****
Beverly did what she wanted done in the baby’s room the next day. She carefully dusted every surface, rearranged the clothes, chose two more outfits to take to the hospital just in case the baby didn’t look good in the ones she was taking, and rearranged the stuffed animals she’d purchased.
When she was done with that, she looked for more to do. Surely there were more things that needed to be done before they brought the baby home from the hospital.
Then it came to her in a flash. “Windows! I need to wash the inside and outside of all the windows.”
She gathered up the supplies she’d need and started on the outside of the house. It wasn’t big, so it shouldn’t take her too terribly long. And since it was mid-April, the snow was only up to her knees. Colin hadn’t been kidding when he’d said there was a very long winter.
Summer nights with her baby and her husband at her side, sounded absolutely glorious. She would love to sit outside with some patio furniture—of course with the mosquito problem in Alaska, it might be best if she had some mosquito netting to cover Sara.
As she worked, she sang softly under her breath. She had been talking and singing to the baby since she’d found out she existed. She’d heard that would make it so the baby would know her voice when she was born, and the idea thrilled her!
She was just finishing up the outside of the last window when her phone rang. “Hello?”
“You sound out of breath. What are you doing?” Lachele asked. “You’re going to have that baby any minute, and you should not be exerting yourself.”
“I’m washing the windows. I want the cabin to look absolutely perfect when Sara sees it for the first time.”
Lachele sighed. “You know she’s probably going to be sleeping when you walk into the house with her, right? Cars put most newborns right to sleep.”
“I know, but I still want it to be perfect just in case.”
“I know better than to argue with a crazed pregnant woman! You do remember that I get the first picture of your little munchkin, right? For my scrapbook?”
“I won’t forget.” Beverly carried the cleaning supplies into the house and shut the door, sinking onto the couch. “He’s still not excited about her. He’s agreed to try to coexist with her, but you can tell he’s dreading her coming home with us. I feel like the worst wife alive for choosing my child over him, but she’s my baby.”
“Give him time. He may never have the paternal feelings you want him to have for her, but they may develop. He was adamant he didn’t want children when I interviewed him, and I talked to you about it as well. I know this baby was an accident, but you’re fighting years of him thinking he hates children.”
“Why? That’s the thing I really don’t get.” Beverly wasn’t sure if having a reason would make her more understanding or less, but she needed one.
“Have you asked him? I know he thinks he’s too old to raise a child, but I think there might be more to it. I just noted it down, and went on with my life so I could find someone who also didn’t want kids. Or couldn’t have them, like you.”
Beverly patted her belly. “We blew that theory right out of the water, didn’t we?”
“Sure did! I have a patient coming in any second. Ask him. See what you can figure out.” Lachele abruptly ended the connection, which was how she seemed to end all her calls.
After a moment, Beverly got to her feet. She was chilly after her time outside, and she wanted a hot shower. Surely she would be able to talk to Colin about his hatred of children that night. There had to be a reason.
*****
After she’d done the dinner dishes that night, Beverly went to sit on the couch with Colin. He was watching a baseball game, but as soon as he realized she was there, he muted it. “How are you feeling?”
“Like an overripe watermelon. How are you feeling?” There were times it was impossible to keep her sarcasm at bay.
“A little overwhelmed by my overripe watermelon of a wife.” His slipped his arm around her and snuggled her close.
“Can I ask you something?” she asked softly.
“Sure. I’m an open book.” He looked down at her, thinking about just how thrilled he was she was in his life. If that meant he had to put up with a baby, then he’d do his best.
“Why do you dislike children so much?” Her words were soft, not accusatory. She’d practiced all afternoon about how to keep her voice even.
He thought for a moment, not sure how to even answer her question. “I don’t really dislike them. I just don’t think I’ll make a good father. I’m too old, and I’m too impatient.”
“I don’t see you as impatient at all. Maybe that was true of you years ago, but it’s certainly not now.”
He shrugged. “So many of the tourists’ kids disobey and go places they’re not supposed to go. They’re snotty.”
She nodded. “Some are snotty, but not all. Sounds like the children you’ve been around have been the worst of the worst.”
“Maybe.” He sighed. “It’s just not a desire I’ve ever had…having kids that is. I don’t know how I’m going to handle it, but I do know I will. I promise you that.”
“We’ll work on it together.”
He jumped and looked at her. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“I felt something against my side. Where your belly is touching me!”
She laughed. “That’s Sara protesting that she’s pressed up against you. She likes to have a few inches around her at all times.”
“That felt like a real kick, not like the flutters they talked about in the childbirth class.”
“Yeah, Sara’s a bit obnoxious. I have a feeling she’s going to be born with a huge amount of personality. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with that.”
He shook his head. “We’re in for a rough ride, aren’t we?”
“Probably. I was something of a diva myself before the car accident. I needed my hair to be perfect at all times, and I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing clothes that weren’t from Saks or Bloomingdales. Sara’s going to wear Walmart clothes, and she’s going to like it!”
He laughed. “Are you sure?”
“Well, Sara will be raised a great deal differently than I was. I was in the big stores on 5th Avenue every weekend with my mom. I didn’t think anything of her paying hundreds of dollars for a dress I’d wear once.” Beverly shook her head. “Sara will be given the clothes I purchase to wear. I don’t think she’ll even realize it’s possible to pay hundreds of dollars for one item of clothing.”
“I’ll pay that much for a good coat or a good pair of boots.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m talking for a party dress. You wear it once, and then you stick it in the back of your closet, because you can’t go to two parties wearing the same dress. It would be social suicide.”
“Yeah, no. Our daughter is not going to be that way. I’m not sure there’s anywhere in Alaska where she could be that way. It’s just not how people are around here.”
“Good. I’ve realized that it was very superficial. People don’t need to be that way.” She shrugged. “Aren’t you glad you met me after the accident and not before?”
“Would you have even looked at me twice before?”
“Maybe. I’d have been attracted to you, but my friends would have told me you were there to play with, but you settle down with a Wall Street man.” She made a face. “I can’t believe I was even friends with that kind of person.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have liked you at all. I probably would have tried to kiss you though. Then I could have bragged to my friends that I kissed a snobby New Yorker.”
“Did you brag to your friends when you kissed a girl?”
“Well, yeah! That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? I was a Boy Scout, but not an athlete. We Boy Scouts had a harder time finding girls to kiss than the athletes did.”
She sighed. “So let’s not tell Sara about that.”
“Sounds good to me.”