Alexander knew kissing Charley was a bad idea, but he couldn’t stop himself. She was the most amazing woman he’d ever met. She was insane, and yet she made the most sense he’d ever heard. She was lively and spontaneous. She caught sunshine in her hands and somehow made it come out of her eyes. She was the very breath in him, and he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

He moved slowly toward her, for even though she’d given him permission to kiss her again, he didn’t want to scare her off with the intensity that he was feeling. As their lips touched, his nerve endings exploded. He kissed her with the fervency he felt coursing through his veins. He needed her, like he needed air, and he pulled her closer.

Emotion surged in him for the woman who had taken his pain and helped him see he was strangling himself with it. He trusted her. Wanted her. He kissed her jawline as she closed her eyes against the night air.

Her fingers found their way to the back of his neck, and the touch sent his heart into overdrive. He pulled back and looked into her fascinating green eyes. “I love you,” he whispered. The words were out before he could stop them, and immediately he regretted them. Charley stiffened, her facial expression suddenly guarded.

Panic began to seep into his chest. What had he done? Why had he said that? He wasn’t in love with Charley. He couldn’t be. What was happening to him? “I—I didn’t mean that.”

Another wrong thing to say. She scrambled away from him, her lips pinched tight, her cheeks flushed. She splashed some water on her face, wiping at her eyes.

Was she crying? Good heavens, he had not meant to make her cry. His panic grew. What had he done? “Charley,” he said, reaching out to her.

“No. Don’t. It’s fine. We obviously have some chemistry between us. Things got carried away, that’s all.” She didn’t look at him. “We’re both adults. We don’t have to feel ashamed for the kiss. It’s fine.” She stood and climbed out of the tub. “We’re fine.” She grabbed her towel and hurried into the house.

He sat there, staring up at the stars, feeling terrible for what had happened. He’d gotten carried away, all right. How could he have said that? He didn’t love her. He barely knew her. And yet, as those thoughts circled through his mind, he realized that wasn’t true. He knew what she liked. Knew her laugh. He loved her spirit. Her creativity. And loved the way she felt in his arms.

She made him feel whole again.

The realization crashed into him and he sucked in a breath of frigid air. He was falling in love with her. And she only thought of him as her employer. An older man whom she thought was handsome, but whom she didn’t want to have a relationship with.

He sighed, watching the way it rose up with the steam from the water. He was in love with a woman who would never return his affections.

Great. This was going to be a super Christmas.

***

ALEXANDER CLICKED HIS mouse and stared at the computer screen. It was Saturday, but he normally worked all day on Saturday, just like every other day. He just couldn’t expect a response from his developers during the weekend. They all took the weekends off. He couldn’t blame them. They all had families.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He’d avoided Charley this morning by skipping breakfast, but now his stomach was complaining. Maybe he would sneak into the kitchen and have Dorothy make him a sandwich. He didn’t want to run into Charley. He wasn’t sure how she would act around him after last night. Why had he allowed things to go that far? How could he have blurted out that he loved her? Stupid.

He got up from his desk and opened his door, listening for voices. When he didn’t hear any, he made his way to the kitchen. No one was in there. He opened the refrigerator and scanned the contents. He pulled out a Tupperware tub and opened the lid. What was that? It was brown and looked like refried beans, but they hadn’t eaten any recently that he could recall. He sniffed it. It smelled like a beef stew. He shrugged. Whatever it was, he’d probably like it. Dorothy didn’t make anything he didn’t like.

He stuck it in the microwave for thirty seconds. When it beeped, he took it out and stirred it up with a fork. He scooped up a little and brought it to his lips to see if it got hot enough.

“What are you doing?”

He turned to see Dorothy with her hand on her hip. “Give me that.” She took it from him.

“Why? What is it?”

“Cat food.”

Alexander balked. “What’s it doing in the fridge? I almost ate it.”

“It’s Milly’s. What’s wrong with you? You don’t eat breakfast, and then you’re in here scrounging around. This isn’t like you.” Dorothy cast a long look his way. “Something bothering you?”

He couldn’t help but glance at the door to the garage. “No.”

Dorothy got a knowing look in her eye. “Ah. I see.”

He glared at her. “You don’t see anything. I’m simply hungry.”

“Lunch will be served in one hour. Get out of my kitchen. You can eat at the table with Charley.” She waved her hands at him, shooing him out.

“Do I need to remind you who works for whom?”

“Don’t you give me sass. I’ve whopped your butt before. Now get.” Dorothy gave him one of her, “I mean business,” looks and he did as she said. He knew she would get her way if she ever put her foot down.

He grumbled as he walked down the hallway. He didn’t want to go back to his office. And of course, he couldn’t go in the garage. So he wandered his own house, feeling like a stranger. When he came to the music room, he entered. He hadn’t learned to play the piano, despite his grandfather paying for lessons. It wasn’t in him. His grandfather was the one who had played.

Alexander sat down on the bench and fingered the keys. His grandfather had been there for him, whenever he needed him. But now, he was gone. Just like everyone else in his life. And Alexander was left alone to figure things out.

Why was he messing up everything in his life? Why did he feel the need to take what good he’d been given and twist it around until it was warped? He was alone, and at this rate, he was going to be alone for the rest of his life.

The door opened and he turned around on the bench to see Charley standing there. He inwardly sighed at the sight of her. She wore her hair up in a messy bun. It looked cute on her. Today’s socks were giant reindeer with red noses. They were ridiculous, but they fit her personality.

She tentatively stepped into the room. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not supposed to bother you with questions. I just didn’t know...and I asked Dorothy and she said I should come find you to ask you because she didn’t know either, and I...”

Now he’d made her so nervous, she couldn’t even talk. Nice. “Spit it out.”

Charley’s face flushed and she looked to the floor. She brought something out from behind her back. It was a photograph in a silver picture frame. “The frame is real silver. But I’m not sure if you want me to put this in the auction box.”

He motioned for her to bring it to him. She stepped forward and handed him the photograph. He knew it instantly. It was a snapshot of him and Sadie, right before they had gotten married. They were at a Christmas party. Sadie was laughing and he was looking at her like he adored her every move. They both looked so young.

He touched the photo with his finger. Guilt rose up in his throat like bile. Sadie was gone, and he had to push those memories away. He didn’t want anything lying around the house to remind him of what he had done. He thrust the photo back at Charley. “Sell it. I don’t want it.”

“Are you sure?” Charley took the photograph but looked like she was going to throw up. “What if you regret getting rid of it someday?”

“I won’t.” He hadn’t meant to yell it, but that’s kind of how it came out. He turned away from her. “I don’t want to see it again. I don’t want to see any of it. That’s why I hired you. If you can’t do the job I hired you to do, then you can leave.”

He sat staring down at the piano keys, waiting for her to leave. But when she didn’t move, he turned and glared at her. “I said—”

“I know what you said, but you didn’t mean it.”

He stared at her. “How dare you—”

“Alex.”

The way she said it, like his name was a soft caress, made his guilt cut into him. He should not be taking things out on Charley. She was only trying to help. He scrubbed a hand over his face and his shoulders fell. “I’m sorry.”

She slowly sat down on the bench beside him. “I know. You’re in pain. But maybe you should keep a photograph. Something showing a happy time.” She held the photo between her shaking hands.

She was quaking with fear. Of him? He felt terrible. He’d yelled at her again. How could he have done that? He swallowed, his guilt choking him. “Are you frightened of me?”

She jerked her head up. “No.”

“You’re trembling.”

“I’m nervous.”

It wasn’t fear? He looked into her green eyes. “To be around me?” he asked softly.

She flinched. “Yes.”

“Is that because of last night?”

She didn’t answer, which told him the truth. He had destroyed everything good they had. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

He didn’t know how to fix things between them. The kiss. The blurting out that he loved her. It was all a mess. But maybe if he pushed it all aside, they could go on like it hadn’t happened. He decided to change the subject back to the photograph. He pointed at it. “I don’t want it around. It’s another reminder of what I did.”

She placed her hand on top of his. “Today it is. I hope someday you can grow past that. I hope it will be a reminder of a good time in your life.”

“I don’t want to look at it every day.”

“Then let’s put it away. Even in this piano bench. Hide it so you don’t have to look at it. You can wait until it’s not painful anymore to bring it out.”

He didn’t want to agree to that but couldn’t bear to tell Charley no. He struggled with his emotions for a moment, swallowing down the pain. “All right,” he finally said.

She smiled at him. “I’m proud of you.” She stood and waited until he did the same before slipping the photograph into the bench. Then she sat back down, this time facing the piano keys. He sat beside her.

“You don’t play the piano, do you?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Why do you have one?”

“My grandfather played. This was his piano. I just kept it after he passed.”

Charley put her fingers on the keys and started playing a song. He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t know how to play?”

She laughed. “It’s just “Heart and Soul.” Everybody knows how to play that song.”

“I don’t.”

She stopped and gave him a weird look. “You don’t?”

“Nope.”

“Do you want to learn?”

He didn’t, but she seemed excited to teach him, so he shrugged. “Okay.”

She placed his hand on the piano keys. “Perfect. You can play the left hand. Just play these four keys, like this.” She showed him which keys to hit and when to play them. He continued the rhythm and she started playing the higher notes. It actually sounded good.

When she was done with the song, she laughed and clapped her hands. “Great job. Now I’ll teach you the other hand, and you can have one song you can play.”

He stayed there with her showing him how to play “Heart and Soul” until he’d learned the song. He looked over to her, the dimple back on her cheek, along with the light in her eyes he’d gotten used to seeing. He enjoyed spending time with her. But he also had to remember how she’d reacted last night when he’d blurted out those three words that killed the mood. He couldn’t allow anything like that to happen again.

“Does this song have words?”

She nodded. “Yes. Play it and I’ll sing the words.”

He went through the song she’d taught him, playing the tune as she sang. It was a sweet song about falling in love. She had a good voice, pure and lovely. When the song was done, she looked at him, her smile gone. The mood turned more serious. He leaned closer to her, and she swallowed, her gaze dipping to his lips.

He wanted to kiss her again, but that was not going to happen. Not after his huge mistake last night. He simply put his hand on hers. “Thanks for showing me the song.”

Her gaze lifted to his and he sat there, staring into her green eyes. She was beautiful. How had he not seen it before? He lifted his hand to her cheek, unable to stop himself from touching her creamy skin.

A black streak jumped past his view and the piano made a noise. Charley turned and picked up the black kitten. “Milly! How did you get out of the garage?”

She hugged the cat to her chest and hopped off the bench. “I’d better be getting back to the garage. I still have a lot left to go through.”

Yeah. She wanted to get away from him. He swallowed down his hurt. “Of course.”

Charley left him sitting on the piano bench, staring at the keys and wondering what he could have done to keep her there a little longer.