Chapter 5
Alexander sighed and slumped into his office chair, a headache beginning behind his forehead. He was tired and suddenly depressed. He pulled up a file on his computer and stared at the numbers. He needed to get this report to his accountant.
He clicked on the keyboard, but his thoughts wandered. Since when did he become such a sour person? He had not thought of himself that way before, but overhearing Charley talk about him, he had to admit he had been quite rude over the past two days.
When did his life turn into something so boring? He had known he was a work-a-holic, but he thought that just made him passionate about his business. Looking at it from someone else’s perspective, it made him bitter and alone. He frowned, not liking that assessment.
The kitten hopped up onto his desk and he picked her up, stroking her fur. “We need to get you a home,” he said out loud. He didn’t care if it made him look senile, talking to a cat. For some reason, it soothed him. And maybe he could pretend that he wasn’t turning into a crabby old man at the age of thirty.
The kitten licked the side of his hand, then curled up in his arms, purring. Now he couldn’t type and finish his work. He sat back in his chair. Oh, well. He could take a break. He scratched her fur behind her ears.
His office door burst open and Charley ran in, almost stumbling on his rug but catching herself before she face-planted. “I’m sorry to disturb you, sir, but I just couldn’t wait to show you what I found.” Her smile stretched wide, her dimple deep. She held a book in her hands.
“This is truly a treasure. Look at the dust jacket. It’s in fantastic shape. That almost never happens. Most of the time, the dust jackets are completely gone. When they’re not, they’re torn, but not this one. The book was printed in 1897, and some of the illustrations inside are hand-painted. Hand-painted! I estimate the value to be over five thousand dollars.” She gingerly held the bird-identifying encyclopedia out so he could see. He immediately recognized it, and his throat closed.
Charley kept talking, but he was no longer listening. He was back in time, the day his wife had given him the book. It had been his birthday, and she was so excited to share with him what she’d found. The memory of the pure joy on her face made his stomach clench. His heart hammered in his chest and he could barely swallow, looking at the familiar pages.
“Silence!” he yelled. The kitten jumped from his arms and scampered across the room, through the open door. He ignored it and turned to Charley, his emotions barely in check, his muscles shaking. “I told you to set aside anything of value for auction. I did not tell you to come inside and interrupt my work.” His voice was low and menacing, and she flinched at his words.
She stood there, blinking for a moment. “I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice a whisper.
Guilt immediately surged in him, but the pain from seeing the encyclopedia overrode it and he clenched his hands into fists. “You will not disturb me again. Is that clear?” He hadn’t meant to raise his voice again, but it echoed through the room.
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she nodded. “Yes.” He could barely hear her. She turned and fled from the room, clutching the book to her chest. As she entered the hallway, he heard a sob escape her, and his guilt overpowered him. Why had he yelled at her like that? She didn’t understand why something like that would upset him. She was young. Had no understanding of a loss like he’d experienced.
He sat back down in his chair, staring at the open door, feeling like the worst person in the world. He was truly horrible. She’d been so excited to find something of value in the piles of junk that she’d just wanted to share it with him. And what had he done? Acted like a tyrant. What had she called him? Mean and grumpy? That’s exactly how he’d been.
He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm his shaking body. Sadie. Her face flashed through his mind and he grew even more embarrassed at the way he’d reacted. Sadie would not have liked that. She was a gentle woman. If she were watching, she would be hiding her face in shame.
Thomas entered his office, the tiny kitten in his hands. “I found her climbing up the curtains in the music room. I suspected she got out.”
Alexander stood and crossed the room, taking the cat from Thomas. “Thank you.”
Thomas turned and headed out of the room. He closed the door behind him. Alexander stroked the kitten as he walked to the window. How had his life become like this? How had he allowed himself to grow into such a terrible person? He hadn’t always been this way.
But even as the question sifted through his mind, he knew the answer. He had allowed his grief to overtake him. He was becoming what he hated most. He was his father.
The thought took him aback and he stepped away from the winter scene out the window. He was not like his father, cold and impersonal. He would not allow himself to become this way. Even if it meant going and talking to Charley. He was not going to be his father.
He set the kitten down by her water bowl and stalked across the room. There was no time like the present. He had to get it done. Better to do it before she hated him even more.
He walked through the house, his footfalls sounding harsh to his ears. He softened his step as he approached the garage. Dorothy gave him a frown, but he didn’t have time to take any guff from her, so he ignored her disapproving look and entered the garage.
Charley started when he entered, then turned away from him, her eyes red. She quickly wiped at her face.
His heart softened and he crossed the room, stopping behind her. He suddenly felt self-conscious. What was he going to say to her? He couldn’t explain. He didn’t have it in him to talk about Sadie. He sighed. “I need to apologize.”
She turned to him and shook her head. “No need. You told me what to do. I was the one who broke the rules.”
“Broke the rules? Heavens, that sounds awful.” Was that how she saw him? A grumpy man who had rules she had to follow?
She stared up at him, confusion entering her gaze. “What?”
He shook his head and rubbed his forehead. “When did I get to be that person? The one who has strict rules and whom no one crosses or they regret it?”
Charley didn’t seem to know what to say to him. She stood there, staring at him. He reached down and took her hands in his. Her fingers were cold, and he rubbed them to warm them. “I fear I’ve become something I never wanted to be. What did you call me? Mean and grumpy?”
Her cheeks reddened and her lips parted. “I—”
“No, it’s all right. You’re right. I’m terribly mean and unquestionably grumpy. And I don’t want to be either one.”
She dropped her gaze. “I was out of line. I never should have—”
“Charley.”
She closed her mouth and threw him a questioning look. He squeezed her hand. “I came to apologize. Would you let me do it?”
She glanced down at their hands. “I suppose.”
He worked his jaw, trying to find the right words. The ones that would make him feel better. That would maybe explain a little bit of what he was going through. “My wife died two years ago.”
“I know,” she said, her voice quiet.
The fact that she knew about his wife surprised him, but then again, he should have known Dorothy would tell her. He swallowed, more emotion surging in him at the thought of Sadie. “It was terribly difficult for me. That book was something special she gave me. The memories were too raw. When I saw it, I didn’t react well.”
Charley nodded and bit her lip. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry. It’s still very hard for me to be reminded of her.”
“I should have thought about that.”
“No. You wouldn’t have known.” He let her hands go. “And I am going to try to be more civil.”
“And I promise to do my job and not lose my head if I find something else I think is exciting.” She pinched her lips together, and he stared at them. Then he wondered why he was staring at her lips. What an odd thing to do.
“Okay,” he finally said, stepping back. “I’m glad we cleared that up.”
“Thank you.”
Alexander cocked one eyebrow. What did she mean by that? “For what?”
“For coming out here to talk to me. You didn’t have to. And I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you. But you sure made me feel better. I was afraid I had messed up for the last time and you were going to fire me.”
He’d yelled at her, treated her like dirt, and she was afraid she’d messed up? Now he felt even worse. “No. I’m not going to fire you.”
She smiled at him, and he realized she had a lovely face. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed before. “Let me know if you need anything else,” he added before turning and walking out of the garage.
As he walked to his study, he felt good about how the conversation went. He thought he’d smoothed things over with her quite nicely. And he didn’t feel so much like a horrible person. Like the cold man his father had been before he’d left Alexander to be raised by his grandfather.