I was in a dismal mood.

After Luc had left, I’d soaked in the clawfoot bathtub big enough for two for over an hour, but the hot water hadn’t done a thing to help me relax. Feeling boxed in, I’d dressed and headed out to explore, thinking fresh air would do the trick, but it hadn’t.

Marco’s property was big, and I didn’t once come near any kind of wall or fence, but I felt trapped just the same. Hoping to distract myself, I’d picked wildflowers as I’d walked around the picturesque lake, but even the cheery blooms didn’t lift my spirits, and I had a helpless feeling nothing would until Luc returned from his parents’ home and I saw for myself that he was all right.

I dropped to a bench near the water’s edge with a huff, part of me irritated I was worried about the man when he was being so distant, another part of me disgusted he seemed resigned to go along with whatever his family wanted him to do.

He was going back to Covet after things with Dante were settled? Just like that? I understood the power his House wielded, but at some point, he had to stand up them.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Startled by the voice to my left, I jerked around to see Felicity standing several feet away.

“Sorry.” She smiled beneath a wide-brimmed straw hat. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” She wore denim shorts, a loose-fitting T-shirt, and white sneakers, and in her hand she lifted a basket filled with apples in a variety of colors. “I was down in the orchard and saw you sitting here on my way back to the house. Up for some company?”

“Uh. Sure.” I scooted down the bench to make room for her.

Sighing, she sat beside me and set the basket on the ground near her feet. “I should have picked apples earlier in the day. It’s too damn hot to be out in the sun.” She lowered the hat to her lap and swiped at her damp forehead. “Nice and cool here by the lake, though. One of my favorite spots. Did you go all the way around?”

“Yes. It’s a nice walk.”

She smiled again. “I think so too. Marco prefers to hike in the mountains, but give me a relaxing lake path any day.”

“The property’s really amazing. How many acres do you have?”

“Roughly six hundred. Though most of it’s not developed. But we like it that way. More private.”

It was definitely private. Which was a plus for me in my current situation, even if I didn’t particularly like it. “How long have you lived here?”

“About three years. Marco inherited the property from his grandfather when he was a teenager, but the buildings were so old, they needed major renovations to be inhabitable. We’ve been working on them slowly. The main house was first. We just finished the guesthouse where you’re staying last spring.”

“It’s really pretty inside. I love the way you’ve decorated.”

“Thanks. Hobby of mine, I must admit.”

I nodded and looked out at the water. Silence settled between us. Unable to stand it in my current mood, I glanced up the hill toward the main house. “No sign of them yet, huh?”

“Not yet. I wouldn’t worry, though. They’re not going to do anything to Luc. He’s too important to them.”

I rubbed my aching temple. “Yeah, so I’ve heard. Being the heir and all.”

Felicity was silent again, but I could tell she was watching me, something I found unnerving.

“Luc told me you volunteered to come along on this trip,” she said several minutes later.

“I did.”

“Why? You could have stayed in the tropics where you didn’t have to be near any of this.”

“I don’t know.” I dropped my hand to my lap and stared out at the rippling water. “I guess I thought he might need me.”

“He does.”

“For what? He’s going to make whatever decisions he wants to make on his own. Clearly, women have no say in this world. I can’t even leave this property.” I stared back out at the lake. “I don’t know how you can live like this.”

“From the outside, I’m sure it seems quite archaic.”

“And misogynistic, and oppressive as hell, and—”

Felicity laughed. “Yes, all those things. But that’s not my life. That’s not Marco’s life either.”

It seemed like every other marriage I’d encountered in this damn House. I couldn’t help but think of Luc’s mother, doing whatever Luc’s father told her to do. “Is that why you won’t marry him? Because you won’t give him that kind of power over you?”

“No. Marco isn’t like the other men in his House. We’re equals. Our reasons for not getting married have nothing to do with my trust in him. It has to do with my family and different laws in the different Houses.”

“Laws that oppress women.”

“Partly.”

She was purposely being vague, which I did not like. “How can you even stay with him, knowing the things the Salvatici House does?”

She sighed. “When I first met Marco, I didn’t know he was a member of the Salvatici House.” She waved a hand. “It’s a long story I won’t bore you with, but I didn’t discover his allegiance until long after we were involved. And, believe me, I was horrified by it. I’ve known about the Salvaticis and what they’re capable of for quite some time. I never wanted to be part of that. I even left him because of it. But...” A dreamy look filled her eyes as she stared across the water. “I eventually came back.”

“Why?”

“Because life without him no longer made sense.” When I only stared at her in disbelief, she met my gaze with a gentle smile. “I didn’t know what love was before Marco. I didn’t know how it changes your priorities and the way you see the world. I just knew that he was not what they were, and I was not the person I was supposed to be without him.”

My heart picked up speed as I held her gaze, and deep down, I recognized the same feelings inside me. I was just afraid to face them head-on, because...what if I made the wrong choice?

“Marco is trying to instill change, but change in a House as old as the Salvaticis’ takes time. And until he’s elected as a Knight, he’ll have no formal say in the way his House is run. It’s not easy to sit back and watch the ancient rules and rites carried out, but he stays because he has hope he can make things better in the long run. And I stay with him because I can’t fault him for that. This is not the life I planned for, but it’s the life I have. And it’s the one I’m meant for.”

My mind drifted to Luc telling me he’d been planning to make changes at Covet before I’d distracted him in New York. Then to our conversation this morning and hearing him say he’d learned long ago not to want things, because wanting invariably made everything turn to shit.

I knew his life had been hard. I knew it hadn’t turned out in any of the ways he’d probably wanted. I also knew he had a good heart and that he didn’t view women as property as so many of the men in his house did. But I hated what his House stood for. I hated the things they made him participate in. And I didn’t know how to get past that hatred and disgust and accept it all the way Felicity obviously had.

“How...?” I pursed my lips, not sure if I should ask, unable to sit back and ignore the obvious. “How do you deal with it, then? When he has to leave like this for House business and you don’t know what’s going to happen?”

“Well, House business is usually not so dire. This particular situation with Dante is fairly unique, but I’m not worried about Marco’s safety. He’s tagging along today as a buffer between Luc and his father. As for day-to-day operations, I honestly don’t question Marco about that too much. I know the Salvaticis are involved in numerous illicit activities, but Marco has assured me his role in any of that is limited.”

“And you believe him?”

“I have to. Because the alternative would make me insane. Loving someone means you trust them.”

I wasn’t sure about that. “And the parties? You’re okay with those? You do know what goes on at those, don’t you?”

“Oh yes. I know. And they definitely took getting used to. I’m not saying I approve, but...” A mischievous smile curled her lips. “There is a certain thrill associated with them. They can be quite good for the sex life.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’re joking, right?”

Felicity laughed. “Not at all.” Her expression sobered. “Luc did tell you that members are required to attend but not participate, correct?”

“Yes, he mentioned that.” Though I didn’t see how that made any of it less depraved.

“They’re also always masked. Marco never participates. He particularly dislikes the rituals. But the parties... Those can be entertaining, especially when I sneak in. And I’ve found sneaking in is very good for our sex life.”

My mouth dropped open.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she said with a sideways grin.

I tried not to but... Images of that party Gio had taken me to on Long Island flashed in my brain. All the women in masks. The pulsing lights and grinding bodies. What people had been doing upstairs in that orgy room...

“Aren’t you afraid of being caught?” I asked.

“Of course. That’s part of the thrill. But I trust Marco. He’d never let anything happen to me. And I would never risk attending if I thought it would ever put him in any kind of jeopardy.”

I knew Luc was doing everything he could to keep me safe. But he was still frightened something would happen to me. The birth control device in my arm was proof of that. As was his stressed demeanor since the moment I’d said I was tagging along on this trip. And, frankly, the whole time we’d been on his island, when he’d been “giving me time to adjust to the new status of our relationship.”

“How did you...?” I bit my lip, trying to find the best way to ask what was suddenly swirling in my brain. “You said you left Marco for a while. Weren’t you afraid they’d come after you? You had to know too much about his House by then. About their activities.”

“I was. They don’t like people knowing too much.”

“Then where did you go? What did you do?”

“I had help. From a university friend who is now part of MI6. He was able to help me disappear. I learned a lot about disappearing back then. About starting over and being invisible. A lot that has come in handy over the years.”

A lightbulb went off in my brain. “You’re the one who helped Sela.”

Felicity’s green eyes narrowed. “A very sweet girl.”

It wasn’t a confirmation either way, but it was all I needed. “How does it work? Can you get anyone out?”

“It’s a complicated process,” she said cautiously. “But it’s not always the best solution.”

I didn’t care. It was the first time I had hope that escaping this nightmare was really an option. “Yes, but—”

“It’s not a simple relocation.” Felicity sat forward, her gaze laser focused on mine, no longer filled with the dreamy look I’d seen when she’d been speaking about Marco. “When someone leaves, they can’t ever go back to their old life. Family, friends, no one can know anything about where they are. It means saying goodbye to everything and everyone you’ve ever known and being alone. It’s the only way you and those you love can be completely safe.”

I heard the warning in her words, but I was too fixated on the fact I had an option—finally. “And yo—”

The sound of tires crunching on gravel echoed our way, and my words cut off as I looked to the right and spotted a shiny black Mercedes pulling to a stop in front of the cottage.

“Thank God, they’re back,” Felicity said, pushing to her feet.

Stomach tight, I rose as well, smoothing out my T-shirt as I tried not to be frustrated our conversation was ending just when it was about to get good. I needed to find a way to get her talking about this again so I could figure out just what I might need to do if things with Luc’s family became volatile.

Felicity reached for the basket at her feet. “I’m making dinner tonight. Bring Luc up to the villa in about an hour.”

“Okay.” To my right, car doors opened and closed, and from the corner of my vision I spotted Luc standing near the vehicle, his jacket looped over his elbow, his big hands resting on his slim hips, his wedding ring glinting in the fading sunlight as he spoke to Marco in a low voice.

Heat surged in my veins even though I tried to stop it. A familiar heat stirred to life simply by seeing his hands and muscular forearms beneath his rolled-up dress shirt sleeves and the casual way his muscles flexed under the expensive cotton as he moved.

He spotted us standing in the trees and stilled, and all that heat ignited to full-on flames when I recognized the dark look in his eyes. A look that told me things with his father had not gone well and that he was fighting to hold back the storm inside him. A storm I feared because I couldn’t control it. A storm I suddenly ached to have unleashed on me even though that made no sense.

“Natalie.”

I looked down at Felicity’s hand on my arm, then up to her gentle face.

“I know what you’re afraid of. It was the same thing I was afraid of when I first came here with Marco. Our situations are different yet so very similar. But the answers you seek aren’t going to be found in me or even in Luc. They’re going to be found in you.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. What you’re trying to run from is not a man or a House or even a threat. All those things can be worked out. What you’re running from is a promise you don’t believe is real. And that’s not something you can ever outrun. It will follow you wherever you go.”

My heart beat hard and fast as I stared at her. She was talking about trust. That elusive faith I’d spent my entire life avoiding. The one thing that was keeping me and Luc apart, even now. I loved him, but I didn’t entirely trust him. More than that, though, I didn’t trust myself, and that frightened me because it meant I wasn’t sure how I’d react if things got messy again—if I’d try to run like I had before, or if I’d have the strength to believe in him...in us.

Felicity squeezed my arm and smiled. “Give it a chance. Give him a chance to prove it to you. I promise everything else will seem less daunting when you do.”

She let go of me and moved around the bench. “We’ll see you both in an hour.”

As the sun dropped below the hillside, I watched as she met Marco and Luc at the car, slipped her arm around Marco’s waist, and lifted her lips for a kiss.

Felicity didn’t seem the least bit stressed about their earlier meeting, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that was because her life wasn’t in immediate danger or if she’d simply accepted everything I was still struggling with. But then Luc turned his gaze my way once more, and that heat flared inside me all over again, distracting me from everything but him.

Felicity was right. I needed to talk to him. Not just about what had happened today, but about us. About how he felt and where we were going. I wouldn’t be able to focus on Dante or his House or anything else until I did. He’d said he loved me, but he wasn’t particularly acting like a man in love. He’d been avoiding me ever since I’d left his bed back on the island. And I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to know if there was still a chance we could reconcile or if we were doomed for all eternity.

Because I could make a decision about what I should do next if I had an answer. It was the waiting in limbo that threatened to destroy me.

I found Luc in the living room when I entered the cottage, sitting on the couch with his laptop open on the coffee table in front of him, his long fingers busily clicking away at the keyboard.

He didn’t look up as I stepped into the room and closed the door at my back, and I told myself not to be deterred by that fact. His jaw was a slice of steel beneath his scruffy jaw, and his shoulders were as tense as I’d ever seen them. I knew instinctively that things had not gone well with his father, but I was done sitting in the background, waiting to be included.

“How did it go?” I asked as I moved down the two steps.

“Fine.”

Fine did not tell me a whole lot. “Did he approve our marriage?”

“We discussed it. He’s checking into the paperwork.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it didn’t sound good. And it didn’t sound as if it was safe for me to leave the property yet.

“Did you see Dante?”

“Yeah. He’s okay. For now.”

Sinking into a chair opposite him, I tried not be frustrated he was giving me so little. He’d talked to me this morning. Granted, it hadn’t been about anything emotional between us, but he’d been making an effort. I had to do the same. “Did your father agree to let Dante go?”

“Not yet.” He closed the laptop and pushed to his feet. “Marco and Fee invited us up for dinner. We have to be at the villa in an hour.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He still hadn’t looked at me. This morning, he’d avoided looking at me for the most part, but then he’d been stressed about his upcoming meeting. This was something different, though. The way he wouldn’t meet my gaze made me almost think he was hiding something.

“Luc, we need to talk about this.” And us. We need to talk about us.

“I know. And we will.” He lifted his laptop from the coffee table and stepped away from me. “Right now, though, I need to shower.”

He disappeared into the bedroom, and alone, I stared after him as an uneasy feeling took up space in my chest.

Instinct said to give him space. He was obviously dealing with something. But I was tired of being brushed aside as if I didn’t matter. And that feeling was growing stronger, telling me whatever he was hiding was something I needed to know.

I pushed to my feet. The bathroom door was already closed when I moved into the bedroom, but I didn’t let that stop me. I crossed the floor and reached for the door handle.

And found it locked.

I jiggled the knob, but the only response I got was the shower spray flipping on inside the bathroom. That and a deafening silence that kicked that feeling to a full-on warning blare.

One that told me whatever secret he was keeping from me this time might just be the one to ruin us for good.