Chapter One

Ryan

I know this is just a practice run for the real thing in a few weeks time but it’s still enough to get my heartbeat racing so fast I feel like I’ve just chain drunk a gallon of coffee. I’m not usually the kind of person that gets nervous, especially not during rehearsals, and definitely not amongst friends, but with Sophia it’s a different thing entirely. Beyond the fact that she’s the most beautiful girl I think I’ve ever seen, she also seems to be absolutely perfect for me in almost every way, which is truly terrifying because no-one else in the history of the universe has ever made me feel this way before.

Based on the feedback we’re getting so far, I’m not the only one who thinks we’ve got some kind of special chemistry going on either, and anyone who thought before this all began that I wasn’t good enough to make this work - and there are plenty of people who did, believe me - couldn’t possibly look at us both now (my heart beating wildly, my pupils dilating, my palms about as sweaty as they’ve ever been) and say that I’m not the perfect man for this role.

The celebrant continues: “Ryan Carter Speed do you take Sophia Grace Moreaux to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish her for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do”, I say without hesitation, while Sophia continues to look at me with her doe-eyes, the sexual tension between us about as thick as a concrete wall.

She’s so natural at this whole thing, I can’t tell if she’s consciously biting her lower lip because she knows the effect it will have on me and everyone else watching, or if it’s just something she’s doing subconsciously like the handful of other things I’ve noticed over the course of our short but intense relationship that have made me fall head over heels in love with her. Whichever is true, it’s totally working, because it’s making me want to skip straight through this entire ceremony and get right on to the consummation.

“And you, Sophia Grace Moreaux, do you take Ryan Carter Speed to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish him for as long as you both shall live?”

“Hell yes, I do”, Sophia says with a look in her gorgeous chocolate brown eyes that spells danger in huge block capitals I would run blindly into any day of the week.

We skip the section with the rings, partly because they haven’t been finished yet and partly because we haven’t decided how we want to handle it anyway, and head straight towards the finale. No matter how many times I hear this, and how much I know it isn’t for real, this part always gives me the shivers.

“And now, with the power vested in me by the state of New York”, the celebrant says, “I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

I embrace Sophia, turn around quickly so she falls into my arms and lean over, my lips inches from hers. I can feel the warmth of her breath on my skin, the heat of her body pressed up against mine, and I wonder if the color in her cheeks is because of the blood rushing to her head from the way she’s leaning over or simply because the passion I’m feeling from her truly is real.

She’s so good at this I could easily be mistaken, which is why this whole thing feels so dangerous.

Sophia smiles and breaks character, and before I even have a chance to peck her innocently on the cheek, the director, Marshall, the producer, Sally, and the rest of the actors start clapping.

I bring Sophia back up to a standing position and then step politely away from her to give us both some space.

“Good”, Marshall says. “Better that time, Ryan, you’re improving.”

I have every confidence that my feelings for Sophia are coming across as loudly and as clearly as emergency sirens, principally because I’m doing exactly the opposite of what they think I am. The acting part starts now, when Sophia and I are not in our roles, and I have to convince her I’m definitely not in love with her.

“Excellent, Sophia”, Marshall says. “I really felt a connection from you then. Right, five minutes break and we’ll go again from the top.”

I take a seat and try to get myself quickly into role before Sophia comes over and joins me.

“That was good”, she says. “I think we’re definitely getting there.”

“I still think I’m way out of my depth”, I say. “And I need to run over the vows again, I messed that part up, I think.”

“That’s what the rehearsals are for”, Sophia says. “The rest was really convincing, though, especially for the small amount of preparation time we’ve had.”

“I guess I’m just a natural”, I say in a made up accent, trying my best to look like I’m joking, and I think it works because Sophia gives me one of her cute little laughs.

“It feels weird getting married over and over again, especially when they use our real names”, Sophia says.

That and the reason Marshall doesn’t want us to kiss until the opening show are elements of his directorial style. He thinks that using our real names in rehearsal makes it easier for us to get into character, and to be fair, it’s not that unusual at this early stage of the production, while the idea of holding back a kiss until the very first night is an attempt to build up tension between us, which I can’t say isn’t working. I have a severe case of blue lips right now, and the moment when we finally get to kiss on opening night is the point that I’m looking forward to the most about this whole performance. The play is fun, but I know that getting to kiss Sophia for real, even though she’s going to be kissing me back in character, is going to make everything else we’ve done in the lead up pale in comparison.

“At least he doesn’t want us to do it for real”, I say. “I wouldn’t actually put that past him.”

“Marshall Grange, New York’s most method theatre director”, Sophia says. “Getting his actors to marry for real might even be one step too far for him.”

“Don’t say it too loudly”, I say, “you don’t want to give him ideas.”

“Why? Don’t you think I’d make a good wife?” Sophia says, over-acting a hurt reaction.

“Terrible”, I say with a smile, “I’ve tasted the cookies you’ve baked.”

“Hey!” Sophia says, “that was the recipe’s fault, and don’t be so old fashioned anyway. I’d make an amazing wife, if I ever found the right guy to marry.”

“Still no luck on the New york dating scene then?” I ask.

Sophia shakes her head. “My characters all seem to have better luck than me.”

“What about Johnny?” I ask, purposely mis-naming him in an attempt to disguise my interest.

“Jack?” Sophia asks.

“Him”, I say, faking a reaction to the anticipated correction.

“That asshole borrowed five hundred bucks two weeks ago to fix his car and I haven’t heard from him since. Even if he doesn’t know it yet, we’re totally over.”

“Damn”, I say, secretly happy she’s not still seeing him. “I always thought that guy was a little bit creepy.”

“You’re not the only one”, Sophia says. “I should have listened to what everyone was saying and ended it way before then anyway. I’m not quite as strong a character in real life as I am in here.”

“Well, whether that’s true or not, you can do so much better than people like Jack”, I say. “I’m surprised men aren’t queueing up to ask you out.”

Sophia smiles. “Real life doesn’t work that way, Ryan”, she says. “Cinderella doesn’t always find her prince charming, unfortunately. That’s the thing that Marshall doesn’t seem to get about this love story, as real as he’s trying to make it.”

“Don’t tell me you don’t believe in true love”, I ask.

Sophia wrinkles up her nose in the way that makes my stomach tighten. “You mean like love at first sight, one perfect person in the world for everyone, me and you in this play kind of true love?” she asks.

“Exactly that”, I say. “With less of those real-life, everyday arguments Marshall has written in for us.”

“No, I believe that”, she says. “I just don’t think it believes in me.”

I can’t imagine anyone in the world not falling in love with Sophia to be honest, because after five minutes in her company I was totally sold. I’m sure I’m not the first person to feel that way either and I bet I’m not the only one now. How could you fail to fall in love with this girl? She’s talented, incredibly good looking, funny and extremely smart. The fact that she doesn’t have a serious love interest in her life yet is both surprising and very relieving for me.

Being her husband in this play and being secretly in love with her at the same time makes our own relationship with each other horribly confusing. If it were any other girl I’d have asked her out straight away, but only because any other girl doesn’t matter as much as this one.

When I say Sophia is the perfect girl for me, I’m not underestimating that in any way, and it has nothing to do with our on stage relationship either. Leading men and women fall in love with their on screen partners all the time only for those relationships to fall apart when the show is over, and they realize they’ve just fallen in love with the characters and not the actors, but I’m convinced that’s not what’s happening here.

Even if I could somehow pluck up the courage to do so, asking her out now would be far too weird anyway, because I’ve already left it way too long. If she turned me down, which is highly likely considering I have absolutely no frame of reference for how she feels about me, it would totally mess up this play for both of us, not to mention any kind of friendship we might have outside of it. Besides which, there’s every chance she’ll think I’m joking anyway, which makes telling her how I feel for real, absolutely impossible. It also makes the scenes in this play in which I do exactly that, one hundred percent surreal.

As much as it kills me to do so, sitting on my feelings until the production is over and both of us have a better idea of where we stand with each other in the true light of day, is probably the most sensible option. Or at least it would be if Sophia’s student visa didn’t happen to be running out as well.

That’s right. The love of my life has to be from an entirely different country, and one that needs a permanent visa to remain in the States. I guess fairy stories really are all bullshit after all.

“Time”, Marshall calls out. “Let’s go back to the top, act one, scene one, Sophia and Ryan meet for the very first time.”

Sophia springs into step and I fall right in behind her, the way her hips move as she walks making looking at anything else but her ass an absolute impossibility.

I would give anything in the world to be with her, but I guess if nothing ever happens between us for real, at least I get to pretend.