As soon as I opened the door, Rob asked, “Where are the drinks you promised us?”

Shit, I’d been so distracted, I’d forgotten to get the only thing that was going to get me through all this. “Sorry. They fell into my mouth on the way back.”

Thankfully, Hayden hadn’t emptied the minibar yet, so I grabbed two handfuls of tiny bottles and sat down next to him on the couch.

“No, thanks,” Hayden said, waving away liquor I hadn’t intended to offer him.

“Come on. You need it.” I shoved the Macallan Single Malt at him, tossed Rob a Pyrat Rum, lined up the other bottles onto the table in front of me, and cracked them all open. I did the eenie-meenie thing to see which I’d enjoy first, and boy, did I. First, a little Hennessy—always a nice way to begin the day.

I grabbed the next one—a goose of the grey variety—and took a small sip. You know, moderation and all that. “I’ll be the one who gets blamed if you pass out from dehydration during the ceremony.” I don’t think I’d had a single sip of water since we landed. Thank the god of beer for making it mostly water, so I wasn’t worried.

Hayden said a quick thanks, opened the bottle, and tipped it back, draining it in one swallow. “You’re right—I did need that.” Then he set the empty bottle onto the coffee table.

All three of us watched as it tipped over and fell onto the floor. Not one of us moved to get it right away. We just stared at it in silence, too preoccupied with our own issues maybe. I wasn’t complaining—it was a lot better than staring at each other and feeling like we should communicate.

“What’s wrong with me?” Hayden said suddenly, snapping out of the daze and picking the bottle off the floor. “I’m getting married to the woman of my dreams today. I’ve been looking forward to this day since the first time we spent the ni—” He cleared his throat. “Spent time together.”

I popped a brow and looked at him. How much would I bet “spending the ni-time together” wasn’t exactly truthful. But I appreciated his attempt to keep the conversation PG-13.

“Remember, the wedding is the hardest part, Hayden,” Rob said gently. I was pretty sure Emilia said he was a lawyer, not a kindergarten teacher, but from the tone of his voice, he’d have made a great one. “Once you get past today, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m not nervous—I’m anxious. The last time I was in this position, I was nervous. Terrified, actually. But with Andi?” He shook his head. “I don’t have any doubts or fears at all. Because I know, this time, it’s right.”

“I felt the same way with Emilia. I knew from our third date.” Rob nodded his agreement, and I watched the men bond over their mutual conviction that the next forty years of their relationships would be just as good as today.

So there we were—one happily married guy, one formerly-unhappily-married/soon-to-be-happily-married guy, and… me. The guy who had everything he needed to be happy but who was terrified he’d blow it if he took the next step. If the woman he loved would take it with him.

“Did you talk to Laney last night?” Hayden asked me.

“A little. She’s not a big talker during, you know. She tends to revert to religion—‘Oh God, yes, God, yes’—and greed—‘More, don’t stop, give it to—‘”

“Enough!” He rolled his eyes. “More than enough, actually. You promised you weren’t going to talk about that to me again.”

Yeah, but I didn’t want to talk about Lane and me. What was there to say? We’d crashed early last night. Our first night in a tropical paradise, and I couldn’t touch her. That fucking jellyfish had ruined everything. But I couldn’t complain about not getting laid enough. Especially not to a man about to go through a ceremony that, from the horror stories I’d heard, was the first stop on the never-having-sex-again train.

“I don’t remember promising anything,” I said. “Besides, why do you want to talk about me and Lane now? We should be talking about happy things.”

Rob turned toward me. “You two are having problems?”

Great. Now both of them were focused on me. “We’re fine. Really. Maybe a little off in our wavelengths, but it won’t last. We’re here, on a beautiful island, in a beautiful country, for the wedding of my beautiful brother and his fiancée.” The back of my hand slammed into Hayden’s chest as I gesticulated wildly to get my point across. “We’re going to enjoy the beautiful stuff and figure out the crappy stuff after we get home.”

Rob nodded. At least one of us understood. “Just don’t wait too long, Carson. No matter how committed two people are, it’s impossible to be together for a long amount of time without any conflict. The trick is to deal with the issues while they’re still small. If you wait, shit builds up, and it takes a whole lot of work to fix it. That’s when an unbiased third-party should step in.”

“I thought you were a lawyer, Rob, not a shrink.”

“Sometimes it’s the same thing,” he mumbled. Maybe he was hoping this would turn into a working vacation, and he’d get to write it off on his taxes. “I didn’t mean to pry. And enjoying today is equally important.”

“Ignore my brother, Rob. Carson isn’t used to people actually wanting him to be happy.”

I stopped myself from responding snidely when I realized the truth of it. Everyone who gave a shit about me was currently on this small pocket of land in the Southern Pacific Ocean. And the only person who’d never given up on me—not once—was a few doors down with the estrogenic half of this party.

Lane had never stopped wanting me to be happy, even when she thought that meant she had to be unhappy.

“You’re right.” I stood up so quickly, my knee slammed into the table, knocking all the bottles over. The other men jumped out of their seats and away from the liquid, probably afraid they’d smell like booze and have to wear board shorts to the ceremony instead of our fancy pants.

Hayden cursed at me and Rob ran for a towel, while I stood still and let my mind figure it out by itself. I’ve always found it better to just let it do its thing rather than force it to do the smart thing.

“You’re right. She wants me to be happy. And there’s only one way I will be.”

“I hope that made sense to you because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

That was okay. He didn’t need to understand. Only she did.

I apologized as I ran. “I’ll be right back. Swear.”

The main section of the resort was small, but all the damn doors looked exactly the same. Some of them must’ve been storage, the laundry room, or just haunted.

But Lane was behind one of them, sitting there, not knowing what I had suddenly realized. I had to find her.

Be myself. Women loved spontaneity. I didn’t bring my phone, so that was good. Be myself. I was so overwhelmed by love, I would've kicked down all those doors to find her if I had to.

Or I could, you know, say her name.

“Lane,” I called at a normal volume. When none of the doors opened, I called again, louder this time. “Lane! Lane, where are you? I need to ask you something!”

As soon as I heard movement to my right, I spun toward it and practically knocked the guy over as the door opened.

I stopped as soon as I saw him. “You’re not my girlfriend.”

“Thankfully, no,” the man said as he righted himself and slammed the door back in my face.

“Lane!”

Another door, farther down the hallway opened, and I heard her say, “Carson? Is everything okay?”

I ran over and bounded into the room as she backed away from me. The other women were all standing, looking alarmed, and I had a moment of regret. There probably was a better way to handle this. With a few less eyes on me. But I was flying high on my realization, feeling invincible, like no one could possibly refuse me, especially Lane.

“What’s wrong?” Andi rushed forward, holding her skirt in her fists. “Is Hayden—?”

“Fine. Hay’s fine. Super excited to get going. Are you guys ready yet?” I smiled. Fairly pathetically.

“Carson, you shouldn’t be here right now,” Lane said, pushing my arm.

“Why not? We’re not getting married.” The whole think-before-you-speak thing was new to me, and something I hadn’t yet mastered. Evident in the communal gasp and pitying glances at Lane. It still took a few more seconds until I’d processed all the worst things only women could’ve read into my comment.

“I didn’t mean we’re never getting married.” I looked around the room, hoping to see a supportive face. Someone to tell me to stop talking before I really said something I’d regret. “I just meant I can see the bride. ‘Cause you’re not the bride…yet. I don’t mean—”

“Go away, Carson.” Lane shut her eyes for a second and then shoved me backwards. “This isn’t the right time.” Then she whispered. “Today isn’t about our shit. Go tell your brother we’ll be ready in about forty-five minutes.”

“I will but, before I go, I really need to ask you something.”

Over Lane’s shoulder, I saw Sara. Her eyes were huge, like a cartoon character whose foot just got squished by an anvil. She shook her head and mouthed something. All I got was “…superpower.”

Oh shit. I was using my superpower—if there was a way to screw something up, I’d be the one to find it. I should’ve known being myself wouldn’t work.

I shut my mouth and let Lane push me out the door, mumbling a quick apology and internally slapping myself for almost ruining yet another moment that should’ve been special. Just not for me.