Chapter8
He should have gone to see her the next day at the hospital—he knew that was what everyone expected—but it just wasn’t that easy. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind spliced the picture of her lying in her hospital bed with the picture he saw every week of his only other hospital experience. The picture of his brother lying weak and getting weaker by the day ripped at him constantly. It wasn’t fair to Aaliyah that he stay away from her, he was sure that she could use a friend right now, but he just didn’t know how to bring himself to be there for her. Not when all he saw was pain.
Max knew she was awake; Eli had been texting him all day, alternating between admonishing him for his behavior and giving him updates about how she was doing. It was obvious that Eli was keeping the big things from him, things that probably weren’t right to say through a text, but truthfully, Max wasn’t sure he wanted to know them. In fact, as he paced up and down his apartment all day, he was sure he didn’t even want to be a part of any of this anymore. What had he even been thinking faking that he had a girlfriend? It wasn’t right, especially when the entire country was watching to see what kind of boyfriend he was going to be, and all he could think about was going out that night and drinking away all of the thoughts he couldn’t get rid of.
No, he didn’t need to go to the hospital; he needed to go to Eli’s office and end this contract. He couldn’t pretend to be someone he wasn’t, and he certainly knew he wouldn’t be able to be there for Aaliyah like he was sure she was going to need. It didn’t matter how much she needed to get paid to get himself out of this mess, he’d pay it.
With his mind made up, he called his driver and took off toward Eli’s office. On the ride there, he poured himself a glass of whisky; he was going to need all the courage he could get, even if it was just liquid courage. He also needed to keep pushing away the memories before they became too much to handle. His mind was a constant seesaw already; it’s why everything he did, he did hard. He played on the court hard, he partied hard, he slept around all the time—it kept his mind from hitting the ground and instead kept it up in the air, like a high.
Aaliyah had been the first girl that had been able to keep his mind on the high without all the partying and other girls. Sure, he could admit that sometimes he’d gotten edgy and restless when he’d been around her, that was usually when the fight would start in the night. But by the time he got his hands all over her, he was right back to that high he needed, which was the only thing that kept the images away. But there was no way she’d be able to provide that high for him now, not with how bad Eli was making everything sound. Maybe there was still a possibility that Eli was exaggerating how bad it was, leaving out all of the details just to make him go see her, but he didn’t think the man would play games like that.
“I’m here to see Eli,” Max informed Eli’s secretary when he got up to the office.
The woman was young and pretty, and obviously very excited that Max Connors was right in front of her. Her pale cheeks blushed, and she couldn’t meet his eyes directly. It was cute, and she was pretty. The thought of asking what she was going to be doing that night crossed his mind, but he figured Eli would really have his head if the same day he ended his deal with Aaliyah, he also took out the man’s secretary. She called into Eli’s office and motioned for Max to have a seat. When she hung up the phone, her eyes were wide. Her head whipped around when the door to Eli’s office slammed open.
“Sorry Stacey,” he apologized to her and motioned for Max to follow him inside.
It was obvious that Eli was beyond frustrated with him, but Max knew what he had to do; the way he was acting was completely out of his control. Actually, it was more like if he wanted to be able to keep his mind and body in control even a little bit, he’d have to do this.
“Why aren’t you answering anything or going to the hospital to see Aaliyah?” Max was right, Eli was definitely frustrated, probably closer to bordering on mad, but he didn’t really have any defense. Unless someone had walked in his shoes, they wouldn’t understand why he was the way he was or why he was about to do what he was going to do.
“Listen, I didn’t sign up for this. I can’t do it.”
Eli’s faced turned from anger to confusion. “Do what?”
“This contract, this fake relationship.” Max took a breath and crossed his arms in front of his body, attempting to make himself look stronger than he felt. “I’m out. I’ll pay her whatever she wants.”
Eli’s barked out a laugh that made Max jump. “Are you absolutely out of your mind?” he asked.
Max shook his head. “No, actually, I’m not. I just don’t want to be a part of this. It probably makes me look like a huge jerk, but you can spin this off and find a new way to make me look good. Revisit those charity ideas. That’s what I should have been doing from the start anyway.”
With what he needed to say out there, he turned and started to walk out of the office when Eli’s voice behind him made him stop.
“If you walk away from this contract, you’re going to be traded. It’s not a threat; it’s a guarantee.”
Max turned back around and stared hard at the man who was staring just as hard back at him.
“What do you mean?”
“Do I need to spell it out for you? Listen, you have no idea how hard I fought to convince this organization that by meeting Aaliyah, you became a changed man. They were ready to drop you already, but I fought for you, assuring them that you were really settling down and making changes. They agreed to see where it was going for the time being, but they have been looking for any little screw up from you.” Eli took a couple of steps forward, and Max could feel the heaviness settling on him.
“Leaving your girlfriend, who the media loves and who is in the hospital and may never walk again, will be exactly what they’re looking for to get rid of you. You will come off as a heartless jerk, and you will be gone.”
He paused there for a moment, and Max knew he was studying him, deciding what to say next. Max himself knew that he had no words. The weight of everything that Eli had just said was crushing him. If he wanted to stay in the city, and he knew he had to stay in the city, then he needed to stay with Aaliyah. But staying with Aaliyah meant constantly feeling trapped in a nightmare where everyone in his life only got hurt. All he’d see would be hospital beds, and the smell of antiseptics would never leave him.
“She really may never walk again?”
Eli sighed and wearily rubbed his eyes. “No, she might not. She has some paralysis from her brain injury, and the doctors don’t know yet what will happen when the swelling goes down. Even if her brain is okay, it’s going to be a hard road ahead for her.”
Max sank down into a chair, and Eli took the one next to him. “I don’t know why it’s so important to you to stay in this city, but staying with Aaliyah is your only chance.”
He felt numb, completely stuck in this situation that he couldn’t get out of. For a moment it felt tempting, so tempting to just run away from it all. To leave Aaliyah—she’d be better off anyway—to leave his responsibilities at home, to just walk away from it all. The pressure of the spotlight would be gone, and with the money he had, he could just disappear into a crowd somewhere. Maybe then the overwhelming panic that routinely took over him, as if the world were about to come crashing down at any moment, would finally be lifted.
But he only entertained that thought for a single moment. He knew that he couldn’t run away. There wouldn’t be any place in the world he could run that wouldn’t make him think of the family he’d left at home and how much they needed him. And even though he wanted to deny it, he knew there would be a soft spot inside of him that would always wonder about Aaliyah and whether she ever learned how to walk again.
Eli placed his hand on Max’s shoulder. “It’s not going to be easy, but you’re doing the right thing.”
This time, when he walked past the secretary, he didn’t even glance at her. What would be the point? He was stuck, completely stuck, and headed with Eli to see Aaliyah. By the time he entered the hospital room, he was already sick to his stomach from the smell and the memories, and he wanted more than anything to bolt right out of the door. But Eli stood behind him, probably to ensure that that exact thing didn’t happen. She was awake when they walked in, staring out the window, lost in thought.
He knocked quietly, and she turned toward the sound. Only a flicker of light burned in her eyes, and just as quickly as he saw it, it was gone again.
“Thank you for the roses,” she said.
Max nodded and gave her a small smile, making a mental note to thank Eli for doing that for him. Silently, he kicked himself as well because he should have remembered to do that himself.
“I’m glad you came; we should probably talk.”
Eli pushed him from behind like a child, and Max stepped inside the room and took the chair next to her bed while Eli leaned casually up against the far wall.
“Listen, I know this isn’t at all what you signed up for when you signed the contract. So, I’ve decided we should break the contract. I don’t need to be bought out on my end, I’ll be just fine.”
Max saw Eli push off the wall immediately and step toward her, but Aaliyah held up a shaking hand.
“I will take any interview you want saying that I ended things with you. That after my accident, I’m going through too much to handle a relationship and that you were nothing but kind and supportive. This way, everybody wins. You shouldn’t have to stay stuck with me like this.” She gestured to her broken body.
Max looked between Eli and Aaliyah as they stared each other down. Eli’s mouth opened and shut again, and Max knew that he couldn’t come up with a good argument as to why that wouldn’t work. He looked at Eli, and Eli gave him a slight nod. This was the out, this was exactly what Max had been hoping for. He could escape this and lessen the pressure on him. He could stay out of the clubs and stay away from bringing every girl back to his apartment. He could clean up his act and still prove to the organization that he had changed, especially with Aaliyah’s interviews.
He was about to stand from the chair, to take the out and run with it, but he stopped when he saw her turn back and look out the window. He could only imagine how much she must be hurting, not only physically, but inside as well. Max took a look around her room and noticed there were only three things that had been sent to her, and he knew one was from him, and one was probably from Eli. She didn’t talk much about friends, and she knew she had no family left…. She was alone.
He was one of the only people she had left in her life, and he’d be a real jerk if he walked away from her when she needed him. There was no way he could do that to her.
“Hey,” he started saying, and she turned to look at him, tears in her eyes. “A deal is a deal. I’m not going anywhere.”