“Ready to get to work?” Joe walked around his desk to shake Thad’s hand.

“Absolutely. I can’t wait to get started. I’m looking forward to working with everyone.” Thad handed Joe a folder. “Here’s my clearance. Doc says I’m good to go.”

“Glad to hear it.” Joe gestured toward a fabric office chair, then hit the ignore button on his cell phone. “It’s Mara. I’ll call her back when we’re done. Take a seat.”

Thad sank into the fabric-covered chair and did his best to keep the nerves from wreaking havoc.

“I’m putting you on rotation.” Joe dropped the file on his desk without opening it. “As you know we’re shorthanded, and need everyone trained for anything. Stella King will give you orientation. Follow her rules, and you’ll get along with her fine. She’ll get you set up with a locker and gear. Ernie will walk you through the crime-scene training.”

Thad’s thumbs pounded on the chair arms in time with the excitement beating in his chest. “Sounds good.”

“I’d like you to spend the rest of the day going over the open case files.” Joe snickered, a reaction to Thad’s grimace. “It will be tedious and painful, but I want you to familiarize yourself with what you can expect, what scenarios might come up.”

The sheriff looked at his phone again. “Would you excuse me a minute? Mara’s called me twice in the last couple of minutes. It must be important, or she wouldn’t have called again.”

A little lump of envy got stuck in his throat. He’d like to get a phone call, to be needed. Karly never called, or texted, or dropped by just to chat.

Joe reached for a post-it and pen. “Slow down, Mara. Give me the timeline again.”

Thad wasn’t an expert on body language, but he knew when something wasn’t right.

“Would you switch to video so I can have a look around?” Joe gave him the come-here finger. Thad moved to the edge of his chair and leaned in to see the real-time video.

Karly’s office came into view. Gone were the piles of paper and files stacked everywhere. Everything had been put into boxes. Had she already given up? She promised a week?

“I came to do the feeding,” Mara’s unnerved voice wobbled. “The bowls were missing, so I went searching for them. I discovered someone had already fed the animals.” The video jostled up and down as Mara walked past the reception desk, into the employee entrance, down the row of dogs.

“Mara, this is Thad. Can you show us the kennel area one more time?” He watched the image on the screen shift.

“Oh good. You’re there.” The camera swung around. The wire gates with dogs inside came into view.

“Can you turn slowly in a circle?” Thad studied the picture. “All the dogs are accounted for. She doesn’t have any with her, which is odd.”

The picture flipped, and a distraught Mara came into view. “I’m telling you, something is wrong. She’s not answering her phone. I called her mom. She’s not at her apartment. Her truck is missing. I’ve called everyone I can think of, even you, Thad, but you didn’t answer your phone.”

“It’s my first day on the job. I didn’t think my new boss would appreciate me taking personal calls.”

Joe shook his head and looked at his wife. “Maybe she’s out for a run.”

“While Tony was out delivering flowers, I had him check all of Karly’s usual running spots. Karly’s predictable. She likes routine. I wouldn’t have called you if I didn’t think something was wrong.”

“Okay.” Joey’s voice conveyed a calm Thad wished he felt. “I’ll alert the guys. Thad, can you think of anywhere Karly might have gone?”

“There are a couple of places I might look. If orientation can wait, I’ll go now.”

“Go.” Joe nodded. “Keep your cell phone on in case I need to get ahold of you.”

Thad was out the door and down the hall in three seconds flat. His mind raced. Would she go there? Maybe.

She was predictable. Mara had nailed Karly’s personality perfectly.

He backed out of the parking lot. His heart was pounding.

Please, let her be safe.

Almost twenty minutes later, Thad relayed, “I found her.”

“Good. That’s really good.” He felt Joe’s relief by his response. “I’ll let Mara know.”

“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll call you back after I make sure everything is okay.” Thad shoved his phone in his back pocket and made his way down the steep hill to the wooden bridge. The vibration of his footsteps on the old wooden planks made her turn.

“Go away, Thad.” The sound of rushing water below camouflaged her words, but he got her meaning. She didn’t want him to go away now, she wanted him gone for good.

“You keep telling me to go away, but I’m still here, Karly. I’m here to listen.”

“You never listen.”

Yes, I do. Thad pushed his hands into his khaki pockets. “I promise I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just let me stay. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t do this anymore.” Karly covered her mouth with her hands, her body caving, a raging river of tears flowing.

“Do what? Karly. What is that you can’t do anymore?”

She brushed her nose with the back of her hand. “I can’t pretend everything’s okay. That I’m okay. I can’t lie anymore.” She leaned forward, and his heartbeat throbbed in his temples. The rushing water bubbled and cascaded over the giant boulders below. He leaned against the back railing to see if she would turn away from the edge. She didn’t. He needed to keep her talking. “You don’t need to pretend with me.”

“You left me.” She pulled her hair into a bunch and twisted it around and around, trying to make a knot. When the hair wouldn’t stay, she dropped her hands to her lap with a whimper, her chin quivering. “I loved you. Why didn’t you love me enough?”

“I loved you with everything I had.” He rubbed at the scars on his hand. “I believed if I let you go, you’d have a better chance at finding happiness.”

She looked back at the water. “Well, you were wrong.”

“I was wrong, Karly.” He hoped she heard his plea. “I’m so terribly sorry I hurt you.”

“You need to go.”

He took a step, but she scooted away.

“Okay, Karly.” He held out his hand, and moved to the edge to sit a body’s length away from her. “We’ll just sit and enjoy the sunshine, listen to the birds sing, let the water roll by. We’ll stay here as long as you like. Just you and me.”

The minute hand on his watch churned one tick at a time, like a fifty-pound weight had been attached.

Keep quiet. Listen. She just needs you to listen. He rolled his head on his neck and let sound in. After more minutes than he had the courage to count, she lifted an arm and pointed at a stand of aspen trees.

“He’s over there.” Her words were barely above a whisper.

“Who? Karly. Who’s over there?”

“Charlie.”

Thad flipped through memory after memory, trying to think of every animal Karly ever had. Kenny had never mentioned a Charlie.

“He never had a chance.” Tears poured down her face, and she began to hug herself and rock back and forth. “It would have been his birthday today.”

Shock at the pure agony on her face squeezed the air out of his lungs. He couldn’t breathe. He wanted to ask questions, but he clamped his teeth together.

Listen. She needs you to listen. You promised to listen.

She put her palms to her eyes and pressed. “I loved Charlie.” Her eyes grew distant and glazed before turning to him. “You need to know that. I loved him. I truly loved him. I would have given him everything.”

“Karly, who’s Charlie?”

She swallowed hard, and her eyes pleaded with him to understand. “He was our son.”

“Our son? We had a son?” Oh, God, Karly no. Please, no. A knife stabbed his heart, and twisted, then twisted again, pushing deeper.

Her face crumpled. “I found out after you left.”

Oh, man. He pushed to his feet to resettle closer to her. He could no longer feel the sun. A bone-deep chill swept over him until he looked at her and the warmth returned. He pulled her into his arms.

“Karly. Please don’t pull away. Let me hold you.”

Seconds passed before she dropped her head to his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why? You need to know why? You didn’t love me—didn't want me anymore.” She curled tighter into herself, to become small.

“Besides I didn’t know I was pregnant for the longest time. Weeks went by. I was so upset because you left that I didn’t realize I hadn’t gotten my period. Then I started to get sick in the morning. I was scared. Really scared someone would find out.”

Her body tightened next to him, and he massaged her arm. She ran her fingers under her lower eyelashes. “I was going to find a way to tell you, then you finally called. I was so happy just to hear your voice, then you told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“Karly, if I could only take the things I said back. Change things.”

She folded in on herself, every curve and angle laden with despair. “You wouldn’t tell me why,” she wailed. “I kept asking, but you never would tell me. I just wanted to know why.” She shrugged her shoulders. “That’s when I got mad and told you never ever to speak to me again.”

He pulled her closer. “Karly, I’m sorry. I wish I had known.”

She pushed away from his arms and stood. A flash of fury sparked from her eyes. “If you had known, what would you have done? Quit the Army? Come home? You didn’t have that choice.”

“I would have sent for you. Asked you to come live with me. I would have supported you when I deployed.”

“Why? Because of the baby?”

“No, because I loved you. I still love you.”

She braced against the railing, her anger deflated. “It wouldn’t have mattered. You didn’t love me enough to trust in us.”

“I can be pretty stupid, but we were both kids. We made mistakes. I made mistakes, but I learned from them. I’m not the same guy I was back then.”

“Yes, you are, Thad Lopez. You can be brainless sometimes, but you’re still giving and kind. Look at what you did for Lily. You trained Custer.” Thad moved a little closer to her.

“Will you tell me what happened?”

She sucked in a deep breath and let it out with a rush. “No one knew I was pregnant except my cousin. She was in town for my graduation, and she talked my parents into letting us go to Denver to shop. I wanted to spend my birthday money on baby stuff without my parents finding out.”

She wrapped her arms around her waist and paced a few more steps in silence. “I had it all planned out. I was twenty weeks pregnant. Over the summer, I was going to move into a home I found for single mothers. I saw online they had free parenting classes. I was going to raise Charlie. Get a j-job.”

A torrent of tears tumbled down her face, and she closed her eyes. “It was awful,” she said in a voice so soft he almost couldn’t hear her. “The blood. There was lots of blood.” She looked up, her eyes meeting his. “The sales clerk called 911, and I was rushed to the nearest hospital. There was nothing to be done. Charlie couldn’t be saved.”

“You named our baby after my grandfather, didn’t you?”

“He was the only person who ever supported you. I was going to tell you. I was, but I didn’t know how, and then after a while I figured out you didn’t need to know, until I was telling Jenna about her sister. Then I realized I had to tell you.”

He locked his knees to remain standing. The acid in his stomach surged into his throat. “You thought I didn’t love you, or our child.” Oh, God. How could I have been so stupid? “I had a right to know.”

“I sent you a letter, but I’m not sure you got it.”

“I didn’t get any letters from you. We move around so much, it must have gotten lost.”

He’d barely survived the past ten years. Years driven by reckless anger. He’d volunteered for anything and everything dangerous, because his dad didn’t think he would ever be a man. He’d wanted to prove his father wrong. Prove he wasn’t worthless.

Dear God…what have I done?

The anger flowed out of his soul and dissolved. “Karly, I’m so—”

“Don’t.” She waved him off. “Whatever you were going to say, don’t. It doesn’t matter anymore. I forgave you a long time ago.”

“But how am I supposed to forgive myself?”

“I’m having trouble forgiving myself. Maybe we both need to learn to forgive.”

He reached for her hand, but she pulled away. “Karly. Why won’t you let me hold you? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I lost our baby.”

He cracked his knuckles one at a time, determination welling. “It’s not too late for us. We can start over. Get married. Have a house full of kids.”

Her puffy eyes turned to him. “No. I can’t. I can never get married.”

The bomb blast in Afghanistan had ripped his body apart, but nothing compared to this. “Sure we can.”

“No, we can’t. It wouldn’t be fair, Thad. I can’t have kids. I’ll never be able to have your children, and you’ve always wanted a family. We talked about having kids all the time growing up. You wanted a boy and a girl, remember?”

“I’ve seen miracles happen every day. Maybe the doctors can do something now.”

Something tromped across her face, strong and swift. He wished he could read minds. He put his hand on top of hers. “Would you mind telling me what you’re thinking?”

“Maybe I don’t deserve to be a mother.” She slipped her hand out from under his.

He pulled her into his arms so fast she didn’t have time to take a breath. “Don’t say that. You’re already a great mom. Look at all the animals you take care of. They love you. You take care of them.”

He brushed a hand up and down her warm skin. “Karly, I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but there’s no one else for me but you. I love you. I always have. If you don’t want me, then I’ll try to understand, but there will be no one else—ever.”

“You’d make a great dad. You should find someone, have kids, be happy.”

I’ve already found someone. “But if I’m not married to you, how can I be happy?” Thad reached for her hand again. “Please let me share this burden with you. I don’t want you to have to carry it alone.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “What do you say?”

“I’m tired. I can’t keep pushing you away, even if I think it’s for your own good. If you can accept that we’ll never have our own children, then…maybe,” she nodded slowly, distractedly, “maybe…it would work.”

“Maybe what will work?”

“Us. If you’re willing to help me have that garage sale we talked about and get rid of some of the baggage, we might have a chance.”

“I’ll do just about anything to win back your heart.” Thad lifted her chin to kiss her cheek, her lips, her nose. “Please, just don’t shut me out.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Karly.”

“I love you, Thad Lopez. Are you sure your willing to take me—even if all my parts aren’t working quite right?”

“In my eyes, you’re perfect. And yes, I’m willing. Wait. Did you just admit that we’re meant to be together?”

Her eyes narrowed, into a scrunched scowl. “Lopez? Do you have wax in those ears?” She shook her head, and a puff of happiness sweetened the air around him. “I just said I love you, totally and completely. What more do you want?”

He spun her toward the car park. “Where are we going?”

He spun around and kissed her soundly, making her squeak in surprise. “First, we’ll pick some wildflowers and visit our son’s grave, and then we’ll drive to the clerk’s office to get married. Just like we planned.”

“I didn’t agree to getting married. Besides, the clerk’s office was your idea when we were sixteen.”

“Yeah, well. It still works.”

“I think we should wait.”

Every one of his muscles tightened, rebelling against the idea. “Oh, here we go again. You said that the last time.”

“Yes, but this time it doesn’t matter. This time we both know there is no one else we want to spend our lives with. This time we know we’ve got the rest of our lives.”

A joy infinitely wide and deep filled the valleys of his soul. He’d wait an eternity for this woman. “You’re right. As always.” He lifted her hand to his lips and gently kissed the back of her wrist. “What was I thinking?”

“You were thinking that you love me.” Karly pressed her lips to Thad’s. He groaned, and wrapped his arms around her, and proceeded to kiss her silly.

“You taste good. Tell me you love me again.”

She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. “I love you, Thad.”

“What did you say? I didn’t hear that.”

A slow joy hopscotched across her face. “I said I love you.”

“You can do better than that. Say it louder.”

She threw her arms and head back and shouted, “I love Thaaaddd Looopezzz.”

“There…that wasn’t so hard. Now, tell me. What are we going to do about your mother?”

She pushed back her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I’m not going to worry about what my mother thinks. Not anymore. The only thing I’m going to think about is our future.”

He wasn’t about to spoil the moment by reminding Karly there was a difference between a fantasy and reality. He’d take whatever came next, as long as it included Karly.