Graduation day came, and Evie readied herself with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. It wasn’t the degree—she’d fought so hard for this that it felt like she’d climbed Mount Everest just to get it. And it wasn’t the company. Chelsea would be there, getting her own degree. And Evie’s mother had finally come for a visit and would be in the crowd.

Everything was perfect. Except Alexei wouldn’t be there.

She still loved him. After everything, she still loved him.

But she also knew she couldn’t be with him. Not unless he made a concrete effort to change. But did she even have a right to ask that of him? Would he make the effort to change if she did? Those questions haunted her.

With her mother in town, Evie had been out of the apartment enough to neatly avoid seeing Alexei, but he still consumed her thoughts. Some days she convinced herself she’d done the right thing. Maybe Alexei hadn’t done anything wrong, but she was still too damaged to be with a man like that. It was her, not him, that was the problem. But the outcome was the same.

Other days, she thought she’d made a terrible mistake. Alexei wouldn’t hurt her, she knew that. She’d just run from a wonderful man out of fear that he was like a man who had hurt her in the past.

Most of all she just missed him. Missed the man she’d believed in before that bar fight. Missed their time together, in bed and out. Missed what they’d shared.

But she was determined to enjoy this day. She deserved to celebrate her achievements instead of moping over a man. Surely she could set aside her grief and confusion for a brief moment in time. There was always tomorrow to wallow in her heartbreak.

The ceremony went off without a hitch. And it was a moment of triumph as she was handed her diploma cover, even if it was tinged by a slight sliver of melancholy.

She, her mother, and Chelsea went for their own celebration after, and Chelsea studiously avoided any mention of Alexei. A few days before, Evie had broken down in her mother’s arms and confessed what had happened with Jimmy. She’d been wonderfully supportive, but it was too much to expect she deal with two of Evie’s heartbreaks in one visit.

A few days later, Evie’s mother left, leaving her alone again to endure her thoughts of Alexei. Hearing him move around his apartment was both a knife to her chest and a balm to her soul. He was so near, and yet so far from her reach.

She had to talk to him, to explain. But not yet. She wasn’t ready just yet.

 

 

It took Alexei a few days to admit there might be some truth to Evie’s words. A man who uses violence to solve his problems. Maybe that was true. Over the next few days, he thought back over his recent encounters. The bar fight, yes, where he’d escalated the situation more than necessary. He could have walked away at any time. He’d seen the fear in their leader’s eyes, and the bravado he used to hide it. Alexei could have just taken him out, or even scared him into leaving them alone. But instead he’d wanted violence. Wanted revenge. Wanted to scare the man away. His intentions had been noble, but perhaps his actions had not been.

Alexei also thought about the way he’d handled Jimmy the night he’d met Evie. Again, he’d come in, primed for a fight and escalated the situation. It hadn’t been his intention, but he’d scared Evie again that night, too, so it had been much harder for her to trust him.

While he didn’t live a life of pure violence, he certainly relied on it a little too much because of his upbringing. His father had used violence until Alexei was big enough to punch back. Maybe he only understood that fighting back with your fists was the only thing that stopped a bully.

But regardless of why he’d done it, he knew he’d scared her. And that wasn’t acceptable, not with any woman, let alone the woman he loved.

And he did still love her, despite everything. His ego had been bruised by her accusations, but once he’d cooled down he understood. She’d been through something awful and it still impacted her. It might always have an effect on her thoughts and actions. If he wanted her in his life—and he did—he’d have to understand that and make allowances. Take steps to make sure she was never frightened of him again.

He had to fight for her, but first he had to make sure he wouldn’t scare her again.

After his fight on Saturday he stopped by to see Doc in his makeshift surgery to get a small cut tended.

“Hey Doc,” he greeted the man.

Doc looked up from where he’d been packing away his medical kit. “Alexei. Were you hurt?”

Alexei shook his head. He’d beat Chen easily enough. “Not badly.”

Doc nodded and gestured to his chair. Alexei eased himself into it as Doc pulled out a few items ready to treat Alexei’s cut.

“How’s your girl?” Doc asked, eyes shrewd.

Alexei blinked in surprise. “Which girl?”

“The one you asked me about.”

Alexei deflated as memories of Evie overwhelmed him. It hurt worse than any hit he’d gotten tonight, like his heart was one big bruise.

“She broke up with me,” Alexei said, bitterness lacing his tone.

Doc raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I’m sorry to hear that.” After a moment where Doc focused on Alexei’s cut, he continued. “Were you slow and patient like I said?”

Alexei pressed his lips together. “Yes. Mostly.”

Doc gave him a side-eyed look and Alexei huffed.

“I scared her,” he explained. He squirmed in his seat, not sure he wanted to be talking about this. Noise from the crowd leaving the warehouse filtered into the office as Alexei tried to ignore the memories his explanation had conjured.

“Do you want to make it up to her?” Doc asked. “Get back together?”

Alexei exhaled, resigned. “Yeah.” Fuck yeah. She was his. That hadn’t changed. “Why do you ask?”

Doc shrugged, but there was some underlying emotion in his expression. “I guess I feel some responsibility for you all. Believe it or not, I like you kids.” He glanced out through the doorway where Weston and Spider hovered in the distance. “Most of you, anyway.”

Alexei chuckled.

Doc’s eyes grew serious. “I don’t know what happened between you, but if you want to talk to someone more qualified about it, I can recommend someone with more expertise than I have in this area, if you like. He’s like me—he’ll see you off the books.”

Alexei considered the other man. Was Doc suggesting some kind of therapy? His first reaction would be a hard no. He didn’t need that.

But would he if it was the only way to get Evie back? He swallowed, digesting that possibility. Maybe, he allowed. Even if just to prove to Evie that he’d do better.

Doc scribbled out a phone number and handed it to Alexei, who reluctantly accepted it. “Just in case,” the older man told him.

“Thank you.”

Doc just nodded with a smile and finished tending to Alexei’s cut.

As Alexei was leaving, McCready gave him a slight nod. Whatever the man’s beef had been with Alexei, it seemed he’d finally gotten over it. Either way, it was too late. Alexei knew his days here were numbered. He had to get out before he did something else seemingly innocent and McCready forced him out.

To do what, he didn’t know. He wished he had Evie to talk to about it, but maybe that would happen soon, if he was lucky.

He would get her back, he vowed to himself.

Whatever it took.