Chapter three
I had my hand on his shoulder and he didn’t say anything for almost ten minutes.
“I’m sorry I put you through this Stephanie. It was never my intention to leave you alone for that long. I thought that I could trust my brother, but I think deep down I always knew he was jealous. He thought that he could take you away from me.” His words were the only thing that mattered. I stood there and waited, not saying anything and allowing him to reveal as little or as much as he needed.
His shoulders were shaking and his mind was now dealing with something that was very painful. The reminder was this stone and for some reason he had allotted a spot for Stephanie on his property. That had to mean she was very important to him and held a dear and special spot in his heart. I wasn’t sure if anybody could replace her, but maybe that was not the reason for me being here. I had no hope of becoming like her. I was my own person and if he couldn’t deal with that, then this was never going to work.
Folding my dress up underneath me, I sat down beside him. It was not my place to say anything. I really didn’t know what was going on, but the puzzle pieces were falling into place. I felt the wind blowing through the grass, but there was more a melancholy feel that I couldn’t shake. Sadness held us tightly and didn’t let go. I wasn’t sad for Stephanie. I was sad for Grady and what he had put himself through.
“We never talked about this, but the looks that I give my brother and the ones that he gives me tell a very poignant story. Stephanie was the love of my life. I thought that I had found the one I was going to grow old with. I got caught up in some work and I had asked Daniel to look in on Stephanie and make sure she got home from work safely. He was reluctant, but I promised him that I could make it worth his while. He assumed that I was going to give him part of my fortune, unbeknownst to him that my fortune had been slowly slipping away.” He had started talking and I could feel that talking about it had given him an outlet he didn’t have before.
“I am so sorry for your loss. I get this feeling that there’s more to it than what you’ve already told me. By all means, you can tell me anything and I will never judge you.” I was giving him free rein to speak openly and honestly. This was the only way to take that power of the memory away.
He reached up and grabbed onto the stone on either side. He placed his cheek against the cold hard surface.
“I was too busy. I didn’t know that Daniel wanted her for himself. He never showed any interest, but maybe he was only trying to ruin the one good thing in my life. His advances were rebuffed and she ran off. My brother claims that he was only trying to help her, but witnesses were very adamant that he was trying to manhandle her. Anyway, she ran, tripping over a stone and she plummeted into a ravine. The only thing that I take solace in was that she probably died quickly and without much pain.”
“I know that this is very painful for you, Grady. You have to know that your brother didn’t mean to make her run off like that. He probably feels as guilty as you do, if not more so. You both hate each other with a red hot anger. Your mother does nothing to help matters. I think she actually enjoys pitting you against each other.”
“I know all of that. It just makes me feel like he was trying to hurt me on purpose. He never wanted to kill her, but his hatred toward me made him do something that was stupid. We actually had nothing to do with each other until mother told me she needed a place to stay. Believe me, I was reluctant, and I had to take some time to think about it. It was bad enough that she was coming, but she also told me that Daniel was part of the package. She claimed that he was instrumental in helping her during her ailing years. Between you and me, I think he only sticks around to make sure that the will reflects he’s in it.”
That was a horrible thing to think about his own brother. I could see the reason why he would go there, but this whole thing was predicated on a terrible accident. They could beat themselves up every day, but it wouldn’t bring back the one thing that Grady wanted most of all.
“I’ve had my own fair share of dealing with grief. It comes in many forms, but the thing you need to remember is that she’ll always be with you right here.” I touched his heart and he grabbed my wrist and placed his lips on the back of it. “The love that you two shared was something that nobody could break. In life or in death, I know that the both of you will see each other again.”
I didn’t know for certain if there was room for me here or not.
He sniffed and wiped away the last of the tears before standing and smoothing out his clothing. He shook himself loose of the leaves and twigs sticking to him. He looked like he had come to some kind of conclusion.
“I know that it’s not gonna be easy. I probably shouldn’t have brought you here until I had cleared the air with Daniel and my mother. I suppose on some level I was enjoying surprising her in this way. She was always a woman with a high opinion of herself. She thought that she had me and Daniel wrapped around her finger, but this showed I had my own independent thinking.”
Circling my hands around his waist from behind, I felt his strong back against me.
“It’s been years and I don’t see this ending without somebody reaching out with some kind of olive branch. You need to be the bigger man. I know that you’ve tried, but you gave up too easily.”
“Stephanie is my past and you are my future, Delia. I don’t know if I can forgive, but I’m willing to at least entertain the idea. You showed me that I need to be more flexible. I think what I really need to do is stop living for a ghost. She’s gone, but you’re right and she’s here with me in some way. The sun shining down is her giving me her approval of you.”
I wouldn’t exactly go that far, but he needed to find his own way to let this go.
“I don’t want to speak ill will of your mother.”
He turned to me and I thought for a moment that he was going to tell me that his mother was off limits.
“She really does have a favorite. I’ve watched how she treats you and Daniel. Her relationship with Daniel is more of a clingy mother and son bond. I don’t think that she wants to lose either one of you. By keeping this rift alive, she allows this constant infighting. For some reason, she feels that she has to keep you both from reaching your true potential. Daniel may not know this, but she holds him too tight and will never allow him to stretch his wings to fly from the nest.”
I was getting to know Grady and his family. They were not the apple pie kind of family, but they did have each other to stand strong against any adversary that came their way. I wanted them to lean on each other, but most of all I wanted them to accept me within the fold.
“I know that my mother can be hard to live with. She only wants what’s best for her family. Believe it or not, she was not always like this. With father was around, she was softer and had a caring disposition.” That didn’t seem like it was possible, but grief does change people in ways that they probably don’t even realize. She had become cold and distant.
“When father was alive, she doted on him hand and foot. She still had her opinions and she had no problem voicing them when necessary.”
“I don’t suppose that there was any tension between Stephanie and your mother.”
“They tried to get along, but both of them were stubborn. Everything had to be a competition, whether it was how I liked my clothes washed or what I enjoyed on my plate for supper. It was funny, but my father really did like Stephanie. They seemed to understand each other in some way that was foreign to the rest of us. I think that my father confided in her that he wasn’t going to be around for too much longer.”
“Keeping that kind of secret from the man that she loved must’ve been very difficult for her.” I saw that he was replaying those happy memories of a time that had come and gone.
“Five years in a lot of time to grieve. I’m through letting a ghost determine my fate. The main reason why I contacted you was because I felt that we had a lot in common. You loved being in the outdoors and you told me many times that you liked to explore the unknown. Our families are similar in that they don’t understand that this kind of relationship can work. It takes patience and time and both of those things we have. I’m not going to say that this is love, but it does feel like it could lead to something along those lines.” He may be able to say that now, but what happened between him and his brother was going to determine how both of them were going to live their lives.
“This is a huge step for you. Don’t let your mother or Daniel make you think anything differently. She will most likely see the change and want to do something to wreck your chance to find somebody new. Your mother wants you to always be around to take care of her. She doesn’t care that you want a life of your own. That is secondary. I’m not sure that you can call what you have with your mother healthy.” I was picking at that scab. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to find myself on the receiving end of some kind of backlash.
“Nobody gets to talk about my mother like that.” I had obviously touched on something of a nerve. “The things that you have said about her may be right, but I really don’t need to listen to that. I’m sorry if that makes us at odds, but my mother is the only thing that I have that is constant. I don’t suspect that my brother is going to stick around for very much longer. He has this itch to find his own way. With me to take care of mother, he can concentrate on living his life for a change.”
Daniel’s devotion to his mother had turned into something more possessive.
It wasn’t just that Daniel’s brother had found a woman, but it was the fact that he was leaving the household that had gotten him to the point of wanting to do something about it. He didn’t want to be made into a sacrificial lamb. The one thing that all families have in common is that their mothers are important enough for them to sacrifice their own lives and their own happiness for the ones who brought them into the world.