CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
SERAPHINA
When my door had opened for a second time that night, I'd smiled beneath my hood. I wasn't sure how long I'd lain in the same position I was left in, but I was proud of myself for remaining still - for proving I had what it took for Anthony to take me away from everything as he’d promised.
Regardless of my ulterior motives and the desperation I felt to fly free of the torment I'd endured over the years I'd been a captive, and despite the small voice in my head telling me to use Anthony's kindness for that purpose alone, I was growing to like Anthony more, to see him as someone different despite the sad truth he was as wrapped up in the Society as the rest of my abusers.
The question of how a man like him could turn a blind eye to the terrors the Society committed against women kept repeating in my head, and the only answer I could find was that Anthony truly believed the women who were stolen were happy and treated well in their lives as courtesans. Perhaps they were when in his control.
After the way he'd taken me, I also grew to understand that he wasn't some soft spoken man without cruel urges and the need to exercise his power over others. Like the rest of them, he would dominate any women beneath him. But unlike the rest, he gave as much as he took, and I understood for the first time what he meant by finding freedom within submission. There was no fear, and although the pain was sharp, it somehow added to the pleasure.
I assumed it was because, when practiced by a skilled hand, pain was as perfect a compliment to pleasure as sugar was to salt. Neither was too much to bear, and when combined, it was enough to send me high into a euphoric state from which I never wanted to come down.
It was a high to which I could easily become addicted, but one that wouldn't kill me like the drugs of my past.
The euphoria that gripped me - the spark of hope I bundled next to my chest like a mother would her child - it blinded me as much as the hood and the darkness within the room. Whoever walked over to me with slow, succinct steps, laid his hands on my legs, massaging up until my hips bucked and my body begged for more of what I'd experienced before.
But that's not what happened.
"You smell like a used whore," he'd said. The instant I heard his voice, any hope I'd had that it was Anthony was smashed beneath Aiden's expensive leather shoe. "We can't have that, now can we?"
I won't flood you with the details, but needless to say, I was given a bath that was more of a threat to my life than anything I'd experienced before. By the time it was over I was coughing up water, praying that I wouldn't drown on any small drops that had found their way into my lungs while my head was held beneath. Aiden had tried forcing me to orgasm while he terrorized me, but it didn't work, not after what Anthony had shown me - and that only served to start the systematic flogging, leading me to the moment I was chained in the kitchen and left there as a live piñata bearing the marks of the cane he'd used.
But still, I didn't buckle, didn't beg and didn't scream. As blow after blow rained down on me, I let my mind escape to the promises Anthony had made, and I ignored how Aiden was using my confessions about my previous owners to devise methods to damage my psyche more than my body.
He wasn't beating me as senselessly as my previous captors. Aiden was an expert at delivering pain as a punishment, as a tease, as a method of turning my body into a sensitive set of nerve endings without distinction. For every blow, there was a sensual touch. For every humiliation, there was the force of pleasure to make me hate the way my body reacted. I hated him and wanted him at the same time, and the dichotomy of those two realities was enough to scramble my mind.
I hadn’t been in the kitchen for long, and as soon as Anthony left the kitchen, Aiden lowered me from the chained cuffs hanging from the ceiling. He fed me and he let me see to my needs as a living, breathing human being. I wasn't made to sit in my own filth for days and I wasn't chastised for becoming filthy. He honored the submission I gave him in the moments when Anthony wasn't around to see.
After several days, it became clear that the worst abuses were saved for those times he knew Anthony would witness the degradation. And although I'd fought to keep my spirit, and endured whatever memories and nightmares he could throw my way, I started breaking down, piece by piece, losing what hope I had that Anthony would come through on what he'd promised.
I think that was the worst part of the week that followed: the moments when Anthony stood witnessing the cruelty and said nothing. Most times, he barely even looked my way.
The promise I'd held onto like a security blanket slowly slipped away. I was left naked and cold, and I was returned to a damp, dark place filled with bodies of the dead, just waiting for the day I would join them.
While sitting in my cell, as I liked to call it, the sound of a silver dog bowl hitting the floor drew my attention. Barely able to raise my head up to look at the man who'd brought me dinner, I somehow found the strength to at least act like I was alive.
"Dinner's served, Kitten. Or I guess I should call you Pooch. It's more fitting."
Blinking my eyes to expel the gunk that was a haze across my vision, I reached up to brush the hair from my face. Cuffs were attached to my wrists and shackles were locked to my ankles securing me to the bed. There was no need for Aiden to bind me in place, but I think it amused him to remind me I was nothing special.
Several times, I'd watched his true courtesan prance through the house dressed provocatively with a bright smile on her face. I didn't hold it against her for not stepping in to help me in any way. She was in the same position as any woman brought under the care of the Society.
"What's wrong, Sera? Aren't you hungry?"
"Yes, Master," I answered obediently. I wasn't hungry, but I learned saying no only ended up with the food being forced down my throat. It sucked to admit I was putting on weight while staying with Aiden, and I wasn't being injured in any way that threatened my life with internal bleeding or infection. The observations weren't my way of praising him for his care. They were simply a means of holding on to my sanity by seeking out the paper thin silver lining.
"Then why don't you come over here and eat?"
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I refrained. "Would it please my Master for my cuffs to be removed?"
Aiden laughed. "Such obedience, Sera. It really is remarkable."
As he walked to my bed, my thoughts reached back to the owners I'd escaped. What little food they gave me was served in much the same way. At least with Aiden I didn't have to worry about him spitting in the bowl first to prove he was the alpha dog. Apparently, even that form of humiliation was too crude to be palatable for a man like him.
He removed my cuffs and shackles to stand and watch as I climbed down from the bed to crawl over the floor. As he'd taught me the first time he fed me this way, I tucked my hands behind my back and leaned over to eat like a good puppy should.
It always surprised me to find that the food he gave me was cooked well and filled my stomach.
I finished the meal and was thankful for the pain in my stomach to be driven away. But my fear that something worse would follow was quickly realized when Aiden threw white towels at my knees and told me to lay down on top of them.
His silky croon flooded my ears when he explained what he wanted from me.
"I don't think it'll be necessary for a collar to be wrapped around your throat, or for me to drag you by a chain. But I had to let my housekeeper take an extended vacation in order to keep you here, and the floors have become quite filthy over the past week."
He knelt down beside me and placed a finger beneath my chin. Tilting my face up to his, he asked, "Would you take care of that problem for me?"
"Yes, Master."
Grinning like a snake, he said, "Good girl."
The messed up part was that he really meant it when he said those words. Aiden had an interesting definition of praise. Regardless of that, I hated it.
“They used me as a human mop. They'd attach a dog collar to my neck and drag me around by a chain. Normally it was to clean whatever filth was left behind after they had one of their special parties with another woman. I always ended up puking afterward...”
It was one of the confessions I'd given under the willow tree that day, and as usual, Aiden found a way to use it against me.
"Follow me."
He opened the door and strolled down the hallway like a man taking a walk on a breezy, beautiful Sunday. There was no hurry to his steps, no true direction to his wanderings as he led me up one hall and down another. It took me a few attempts before I learned how to slither along behind him, keeping my body pressed tightly to the floor and the towels beneath me. But eventually I picked up speed and was able to be the obedient mop cleaning and scrubbing as I followed in his path.
Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to blink them free. A remnant from my past, the nightmares attempted to take hold. I had to constantly remind myself I wasn't being dragged by the neck through every bodily fluid known to man. The scent of vomit wasn't stinging my nose, and the metallic tang of blood wasn't sticking to my skin and smearing beneath me as I was slung back and forth across the floor.
For as humiliating as this moment was, I hated to admit that it was better than what I'd lived through before.
Aiden's courtesan stepped out of a room as we were passing and almost tripped over me as I slithered along. Aiden caught her by the hand before she lost her balance and smiled. "Careful, Pet. We wouldn't want you tripping over the new floor cleaner."
Blue eyes widened with momentary shock before softening with sympathy. "Master?" she asked, "I really miss being the toy you play with."
Her hand ran up his arm, the tips of her fingers reaching his shoulder before sliding closer to his neck. I knew immediately that she was attempting to distract his attention from me, and I appreciated her for that small effort.
Aiden, on the other hand, also knew, and when he caught her fingers in his iron grasp, he squeezed hard enough to make her whimper. Releasing her a moment later, he kissed those fingers and whispered to her so quietly that I couldn't hear what he said. The blush on her cheeks told me she liked whatever it was he'd promised.
Playfully patting her cheek, he told her to run along before turning his attention back to me. Thankfully my forehead was pressed to the floor before he realized that I had been staring. "Let's go, mop. The kitchen requires a good cleaning."
Obediently, I slithered, stopping only when a familiar voice with an exotic accent that made me think of warm climates, seaside resorts and mysteries any sane women would want to explore filtered through the room.
"Aiden," Anthony crooned in greeting, distaste a distinct flavor to his tone.
"Anthony," Aiden replied.
Silence fell between the two men as I lay prostrate on the floor in the center of the kitchen. The sound of chair legs scraping across the floor echoed against the walls of the spacious room. The rustle of paper following shortly after.
Over the past few days, I'd noticed their friendship growing colder. They'd developed a pattern of meeting in this room, settling themselves at the table and ignoring each other while reading whatever the day's news had to offer.
Chair legs scraped over the floor again, the sound of paper being folded and footsteps across the room. I would have sworn it was Anthony leaving the kitchen like he'd done over the past few days, but when Aiden's voice filled the space, it caught me by surprise.
"I have to go tend to Rebecca for a few minutes. Would you do me a favor and keep an eye on Sera?"
Anthony didn't speak his response, but I assumed he must have nodded. Aiden left immediately after, and I waited for Anthony to say or do something.
Time passed slowly while I lay on the floor. Each breath I took and every beat of my heart counted down the time until I heard Anthony release a heavy sigh and stand from his seat.
His steps were aimless, a shark circling, or a man not sure whether he wanted to approach me or walk away. Eventually, he kneeled down in front of my head, his scent wafting beneath my nose, reminding me of what once had been promise between us.
"Look at me, Sera."
I struggled to look up, my neck craning back as my eyes found his. He smiled, although the expression was more sad than happy. "You have my permission to move enough off the floor to make looking at me comfortable."
Thankful for the permission, I propped my upper body up on my arms and elbows, relieving my neck of the awkward position. He didn't speak at first, just stared. But a million words flowed through the expression on his face and the shadows that filtered behind his amber gaze.
"When you answer me, be sure to keep your voice low. I'd hate for Aiden to be close enough to hear us talking."
I nodded my head in understanding. He reached out to brush a finger against my cheek. "How are you? Are you hanging in there with everything Aiden has been doing?"
I wanted to lie, to tell him I was strong enough to endure whatever awful punishments Aiden could throw at me, but I was too tired for lies anymore. Too tired for games.
"I feel like I'm dying a slow death," I admitted.
He cursed under his breath.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"For what?"
He looked genuinely confused and I wished I had an answer that made sense. "For everything. For you getting dragged into all of this. Just...for all of it."
His hand gripped my jaw, his fingertips softly pressing down on my cheeks. Turning my head, he caught my eyes with his. My breath caught to see clearly that he had changed.
For as long as I'd known Anthony, he'd always had sorrow in his eyes. It was a fleeting shadow, there and then gone again, giving you just a taste of the man hidden behind it.
That shadow was gone. And the man once hidden behind it was staring back at me with barely contained anger in his eyes.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. He's not doing this to you because of anything you've done. He's doing this to torture me."
My lips parted in surprise, confusion a haze in my mind, making it impossible to think clearly. "Why?"
"It doesn't matter. How does he treat you when I'm not present to witness it?"
Bothered by having to say anything good about Aiden at all, I had to admit I couldn't fault him. He made sure I was fed and I could go to the bathroom as much as I needed. It wasn't much, but when you've lived a life like mine, you learn that even small kindnesses are a gift to be appreciated.
"He's..." I struggled to find the words I wanted. "...He's fair."
"Fair?" Nodding his head as if in thought, his gaze darted over my shoulder towards the hallway door. "Have you been submitting to him fully?" His eyes met mine again. "Without complaint?"
I nodded, begging him to believe me without saying it out loud. There had been a time when I'd believed I could use Anthony to escape Aiden, that his kindness would make him a simple man for me to manipulate and escape everything, but that time had passed. Once the possibility of him having the ability to strip me from Aiden's grasp was gone, I realized quickly that beyond how I'd wanted to use him, I'd cared for him as well.
Whether I cared for him or not, it didn't matter much anymore. I was Aiden's property and Anthony was just a man I could see in fantasy when I escaped inside my head.
"That's what I thought," he breathed out, more to himself than me. Thoughts swirled like a tempest storm behind his eyes, anger a burst of lightning followed by the warning of rolling thunder. Where there had once been sorrow, there was now fury, and where doubt had plagued the man that held me enthralled, there was now power and determination.
Speaking slowly, as if treading over thin ice that could crack and swallow us both at any moment, Anthony said, "If anybody should apologize, it's me. You wouldn't suffer like you are if it wasn't for my failure, and for my poor decisions."
It didn't matter what he said, didn't interest me as much as the movement of his lips, the swirling color of his gaze. The exotic cadence of his words was a hypnotic balm against the wounds of my pride and body. I forgot myself when I was with him - and in that loss of recognition, I forgot my position and the behavior expected of me, as well.
Perhaps it was rash to do what I did, but I would never regret taking that one tiny moment to reach for Anthony, to pull myself up against the warmth of his body, and press my lips against his. It wasn't more than a simple kiss, but it was a moment where I finally shook myself free of the shackles life had placed on me and took what I wanted for a change.
Innocent and soft, I'd only intended the kiss to be a fleeting glimpse of what his mouth would feel like against mine. But like that glimpse, the moment, too, was fleeting.
Anthony's hand came up to rest at the back of my head, his fingers fisting into my hair so tight that pain was a slowly spreading fire across my scalp. A few strands snapped beneath the strain, his hand tugging to pull me away from the illicit kiss I'd stolen.
With my neck arched back, I gasped out a breath, and my eyes clenched shut as I awaited whatever punishment he gave me.
His voice was an unquestionable demand. "Look at me, Sera."
Forcing my eyes open against the pain of my scalp, I stared unblinking at the predator once hidden by sorrow, the sadist once chained by doubt. I wasn't sure what happened to those chains, but even a blind person could see those chains no longer bound the man who held me in his grasp.
"When a courtesan kisses her Master, she does not do so with polite lips and hesitation. She does not doubt that her submission - that her sensual violence - is not welcomed by the man she has given herself to on every level she can possibly give. And when a Master allows that kiss, when he gives her the gift of heartache and love - then a true courtesan who knows her place and what is expected of her will ensure that the kiss isn't tender but savage."
Pulling me towards him, he pressed his mouth to mine with such force that the inner lining of my lips scraped against my teeth. His other hand reached up, his thumb hooking over the corner of my lips to force them apart as his tongue swept in to take control with a fire and passion that stole the breath from my lungs and rendered me mindless.
Caught helplessly in a storm of dominance, authority and pure, male hunger, I was lost to the taste of him in my mouth, captive to the pressure of his mouth against mine.
My body responded before I understood what was happening. My breasts swelled in need of touch, the tips so taut that the skin felt like it would fracture at the slightest brush of his hand. Unable to move due to the way he fisted my hair, I was a prisoner to his lust, a willing victim of his need, and a hopeless addict who had just tasted the forbidden fruit and would die from slow starvation to never taste it again.
He loosened his grasp at the same time he eased the pressure against my mouth, his teeth biting down on my bottom lip while I struggled to remember how to breathe.
The moment ended as quickly as it had started, but I was changed - thoroughly altered and scattered - by the experience of true submission in a Master's skillful hands.
Releasing me entirely, his eyes held mine, his lips parted as his chest moved with heavy breath. I didn't have to touch him to know he was hard beneath his pants, didn't have to touch myself to know I would burst apart if we were given the freedom to act on the fierce desire we felt.
He blinked once before straightening his posture, the sadist dragged back beneath the mask of obscurity, the predator held in check by the sad truth that I was not his.
A slow, loud clap echoed against the walls of the kitchen, and I lost the connection I had with Anthony to the slippery slope of dread and fear pulling me back down into the damp and dark reality of my life.
"Wasn't that a precious moment?" Aiden murmured, his voice as dark and sinister as the dirty pit I'd once called home. His hands stopped clapping and his voice rang out to fill the silence. "It's too bad I have another treat for Sera tonight and will regretfully have to take her away."
Anthony's shoulders tensed, his narrowed gaze locked to Aiden where he stood behind me. Rather than acting on the rage I could see so clearly in his eyes, he donned the mask of a man unaffected, the bored, blank expression of a man without emotion or heart. A part of me died every time I saw that look shadow Anthony's face, while another part of me fought to understand why it was necessary for him to hide behind it in the first place.
If it was true that Aiden treated me poorly in order to hurt Anthony, then by ignoring the acts committed against me, by pretending like I wasn't even in the room, Anthony refused to give Aiden any more reason to torture me more than he already had.
In his own way, Anthony was doing more for me by doing nothing at all.
Without speaking, Anthony stood to his full height and took measured steps back to the kitchen table. He didn't address Aiden or object in any way to whatever treat he had in store for me. He simply picked up the paper in front of him, unfolded it and began reading. In his silence, Anthony treated Aiden like a insignificant flea that he'd flicked from his shoe.
Aiden's hand locked around my ankle, startling me into a cry of shock. His fingers gripping tight enough to bruise bone, he dragged me behind him across the floor, wrenching me so quickly that I didn't have time to brace myself and keep my chin from hitting the hard tile. The towels that had made it easy to slide against smooth surfaces were pulled away due to the speed in which I was being dragged. The friction of the floor against my skin was a searing pain across my body.
Turning a corner in the hall, Aiden ignored the sound of my shoulder slamming against a wall. My body flung to the side, I attempted to stop the movement with my hands, but I couldn't find anything to grab and stop the impact. My teeth clamped together against the pain overtaking me, and I lost the will to submit without a fight. Instinct kicked in like it would in any living being struggling to stay alive.
"You know," Aiden said casually, unconcerned about the way I kicked to free myself of him or the cries of pain bursting from my lips, "there are rules courtesans are expected to follow, rules that have been in place since the night I first found you in the park and carried your disgusting, addict body back to where I lived."
We turned another corner. I slammed into another wall. And Aiden kept talking like nothing was amiss, like he wasn't dragging a terrified woman to some special place he'd created for her.
"I ensured you didn't die from an overdose that night. I cleaned you up, fed you, gave you a much nicer place to stay than the ditch your dead body would have been found in had I not arrived, and how did you fucking repay me? By fighting me every step of the way while I attempted to give you a better life."
Another corner. Another wall. He was doing this to me on purpose.
"So, I gave up on you and dumped you off on whatever owner was willing to take you. And as fate would have it, you ended up back here again, with me, to be taught what is expected of the courtesans I train."
My head slammed against the leg of a side table, the decorative vase displayed on its surface wobbling and almost falling to the floor.
"And I thought you'd finally learned your lesson, that you finally understood what it fucking means to submit. So what did I do? I fed you, I cleaned you up. I trained you again. Only to find you breaking the most important rule the Society has."
Kicking out, he opened a door to a room I hadn't seen before and dragged me inside. Once I was lying in the middle of what appeared to be an empty space, he released my ankle, stood above me and flipped me onto my back so that I could see his face.
"You tried to fuck a man who wasn't your Master."
Tears streamed down my eyes, my head throbbed and my ankle pulsed with the warning that a bone may have been broken. I moved only slightly before Aiden straddled and sat down on my chest, his hand reaching up to grip my cheeks and force my eyes to his.
"Do you remember what you told me beneath the willow tree while you were pretending to submit? Do you remember the confessions you made about all the terrible things your previous owners had done to you?"
My lips trembled as tears slid along the crease, the salty flavor of my pain sinking into my mouth to settle against my tongue.
His fingers squeezed tighter. "Do you?"
"Yes!" I cried out, not caring that I'd raised my voice or that my teeth cut my cheeks as I spoke.
Aiden smiled. "Judging by your behavior in my house, I'm beginning to believe that every filthy, vile, abusive act they committed against you was well deserved."
The attempt at wrenching my head from his grasp was a wasted effort. He was too strong, too angry to be caught off guard. The smile that adorned his face turned into a smirk, pure malevolence a light shining behind his emerald green eyes.
"But Sera, what you don't understand is that the men who held you before you were found on that cliff were nothing more than amateurs. You see, they had given you a proper grave in order to bury you with the other trash, but what they forgot to give you was a coffin to keep you in that grave. I intend to correct that mistake."
My eyes widened as mortal fear froze my body in place. His grip couldn't stop my head from shaking in disbelief. His weight couldn’t stop the violent tremor that overtook my body.
"No," I begged, my throat working to push out the one weak word as he released my cheeks and stood aside to show me the small, brown trunk shoved to the side of the room. Large enough for a folded body, it had a heavy latch as its only adornment. Before I could attempt to crawl away, Aiden had me in his hands, dragging me to that small trunk with every intent to shove me inside.
Perhaps it was a mistake for me to fold myself into a fetal position in fear of what would come next, but he picked me up like I weighed nothing, dumped me in the small container that I knew would become my tomb, and slammed the lid down locking me inside with the scrape of a large metal latch.
The room went silent as darkness consumed me, the heat of my breath filling the trunk until it was difficult to breath. The last thing I heard before I succumbed to the terror that was a tidal wave inside was the sound of Aiden's retreating steps as he left the room.
I wasn't sure when the courageous woman I once tried to be left me entirely. And I wasn't sure where she had gone while I was returned to the victim I'd sworn I'd never be again. But at the moment she left my body, and at the moment all my nightmares flooded in to fill the space where she once had been, I didn't recognize my own voice as I banged my hands against the inside of the trunk and opened my mouth to release a terrified scream.