Chapter 4
Lucy
We were having dinner when a knock sounded on the door. My brother, my mom, and I looked up from the rickety table we sat around, and my mom moved to stand, but Jeff put up his hand and rose.
Confused, I shrugged to my mom as we watched Jeff head through the living room. We never had company. If we did, it was usually because Jeff was drunk and passed out somewhere. We’d gotten three of those visits from neighbors in the last two weeks.
Jeff didn’t take well to us not leaving. My mother wouldn’t budge in her decision without an explanation, and Jeff wouldn’t elaborate past needing a fresh start. I kept waiting for him to disappear and try to take me with him—not that I would leave after what I found. I even tried to convince him, but my brother wasn’t well. His story wasn’t even plausible. The poster was old. Rhonda…she wasn’t missing or dead. She’d ran off with her boyfriend and was now back in town, knocked up. That’s what I had forgotten and re-discovered through my search. Nothing he said made sense, and now I didn’t know what to believe.
“Hello, Jeff.”
“Mrs. Marks. What are you doing here?” My brother shifted nervously, pulling the door more closed around him.
“I need to speak with you. It’s about Boston.”
“Actually, we’re eating dinner. Can we do this some other time?”
“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid not. This won’t take long. I just wanted to know what happened between the two of you. This couldn’t be about the accident. Or, is it? We all saw the video of the movie you boys were making. It was clearly an accident. It’s just…I don’t understand why you haven’t gone to see him after everything you’ve been through together. You’re best friends. Was there something else? Maybe before he got hurt?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But Boston needs you, Jeff. He’s not doing very well.”
I stood, easing toward the door.
“He doesn’t need me, Mrs. Marks. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
“I’m not so sure.” She paused, and I moved closer. “He keeps asking for Lucy. That’s why I’m here. He made me promise to tell her to come see him. Because of the amnesia, I’m hoping he’s confused. That maybe it’s you he wants. You boys grew up together.” Another bout of silence, followed by her shaky voice. “Jeff, you have to keep Lucy here. You have to go to my son and fix whatever it is that’s gone wrong between the two of you. It has to be you.”
Jeff’s head shook, but he sighed. “I’ll try to go by and see him tomorrow. I have to work, but I’ll swing by the hospital on my way home. As for Lucy…you don’t have to worry. She knows better than to go back.”
“Excellent. He’s been moved to room two-twenty-one.”
Jeff nodded, closing the door. The moment he turned and spotted me, he jolted to a stop. The look he threw was threatening, and I felt guilty for what I knew I had to do. If Boston wanted to see me, I was going.
“Sit down, Luce. Let’s finish dinner.”
“What did Mrs. Marks say? That was her, right?”
Jeff and I took our seats, and he gave my mom a grin. “She just wanted me to visit Boston. Apparently he’s not doing so well adjusting to amnesia.”
“Oh, honey, that’s horrible. I really do think you should.”
Jeff dug the fork into his potatoes, agreeing with a hard nod. He stayed quiet as he kept eating, but I didn’t miss the way he kept taking glances at me. My appetite wavered, and I picked at my food as I thought over the last few weeks. What if Boston hadn’t done anything wrong? What if Jeff was the one with a problem? After all, he claimed he killed a girl who wasn’t even dead.
Dinner went by in a silent clanking of utensils. Jeff made an excuse like he did every night and disappeared. My mother wasn’t much different. She was exhausted from working a double the day before and said she was going to catch up on sleep. I found myself impatient as my need to see Boston grew overwhelming. Before I could stop myself, I was on my bike, peddling as fast as I could for the hospital. Maybe memories returned concerning Jeff. If they had, perhaps he could make sense of what was happening.
Or maybe I was making excuses for what I knew I wanted—him.
The hospital was relatively empty except for an occasional nurse. I kept my head down as I walked quickly through his hall. When I found the room and knocked, his deep voice echoed through, and I eased in. Boston was sitting at the bottom of the bed. He wasn’t wearing a hospital gown like I expected. He had on a pair of black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. At seeing me, he sat straighter. There was no smile. No expression at all. Just a widening of his eyes as he scooted more toward the edge.
“You never came back.”
Anger. It laced his words, but wasn’t prominent. Walking forward, I contemplated how close I should go. Jeff’s confession had my mind spinning. Even though it obviously wasn’t true, I was hesitant.
“I’m sorry. It’s not easy coming with Jeff watching my every move. He’s even been taking me to work.”
“I see. Come closer. Sit.”
He patted the bed next to him. My eyes flicked over to the chair, but I found myself heading toward him. Before I could decide whether to obey his command, he reached out and grabbed my hand to draw me in directly next to him.
“I can’t stay long,” I breathed out, my heart racing. “Your mom said you were asking for me.”
“Yes. I needed to see you. I like you here. With me.”
“Why?”
Multiple expressions flashed while he slid his fingers through mine, rubbing the digits in a slow, drawn out caress. I licked my lips, trying to calm the growing excitement, but I would have been lying to myself if I said there wasn’t fear. It left me shaking. Confused.
“I don’t know. It’s you. I think, maybe, it’s always been you.”
Quickly, my head shook. “Your mom thinks it’s Jeff you really need. She didn’t want me to come. She told him to keep me away from you.”
Anger had his head cocking to the side, but it was shadowed by something else. “But you came to me anyway. You wanted to see me.”
“Well, yes, but—”
His other hand slid through my hair, cutting me off. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t do anything but stare into his hazel eyes. When his lips brushed mine, the world spun around me. My entire body shook, and I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to kiss him more or run. I had always been consumed by Boston. But Jeff’s fear…that was real.
“So good,” he breathed against my lips. “If I never did this, I always wanted to. I may not remember my past, but I know what I feel: you.” He kissed me again. This time, with more heat. Fingers tightened in my hair and Boston’s tongue plunged into my mouth, sliding against mine. A moan tore from me before I could stop it. I’d kissed a boy once, but not like this. And he wasn’t Boston. The man who once ruled my world was giving me what I’d always dreamed of. But at what cost?
“Wait.” My chest rose and fell with each pant. I was tingling all over and couldn’t stop from squirming at the arousal. It hit so hard, nothing was starting to matter. It was erasing the anxiety. Eliminating any concern I should have felt. The sensations were addicting. I wanted more. “We should talk. My brother won’t like this.”
“What do you want?”
He still had my head, trapping me from moving back. My mouth opened, but speaking was impossible. All I could do was stare into his depths. I knew what I wanted. What I had always wanted.
“You are so beautiful.” His thumb moved over, tracing my lower lip. The captivating look on his face was like nothing I had ever seen. It lured me in. Gave me hope I could have never imagined. “What do you want, Little Lucy? Me? Do you want me?”
“B-Boston.”
“God, the way you say my name. Tell me you want me. I have to hear you say it.”
“I’ve always…but…”
“There are no ‘buts’ where you and I are concerned. It’s black or white. Yes or no. Always or never…and you said always. You can’t take that back. I refuse to let you.”
He moved back in, kissing me so deep, I was no longer the Lucy I knew. I was nothing but his. The girl in me shattered, dying with each suck and nibble against my bottom lip. A new Lucy who yearned for things she didn’t understand emerged. One who loved him a million times more than she ever had. When my eyes finally opened, he was staring at me. He wanted more. Lust was written all over his face. It was in the heaviness of his lids. In the way his tongue swept over his full lips, needing to taste more of me. In the way he hungrily stared at mine.
“Boston, there’s something you need to know. Jeff…told me things. They scare me. He won’t be okay with this. I would be in so much trouble if he knew I was even around you.”
“What did he say?”
Hesitating, I turned the conversation around, despite wanting to continue. “Have you remembered anything? Maybe something about a cabin?”
Boston removed his hand from my head and faced forward, blinking repeatedly as he seemed to recall memories.
“Jeff…we were making a movie there. About a girl. I think we killed her. In the movie,” he added quickly. “That’s all I really remember.”
“It was part of the movie?” My mouth opened through the surprise, and anger flooded in. Of course. But how had Jeff taken it so wrong? Had his mind somehow warped the truth to justify and cope with what he’d done to Boston? That had to be it. “He doesn’t think it was part of the movie. Jeff truly believes you both killed a girl. And before he hit you in the head with the axe, he said he was protecting himself…from you.”
“But I had a camera. My mother told me I did. I was recording. Why would I do that if I was trying to kill him? What did he have to be afraid of? It’s not like I would have used the camera as some type of weapon.”
“I don’t know. I just know what he told me.”
Boston angled himself back toward me. “I’ll talk to him. Just…” His hand rose to cup my cheek and I could tell he wanted to kiss me again. “I don’t want him to come between us. I want to keep seeing you.”
Perplexity piqued. My mind almost couldn’t believe this was happening. I still wasn’t sure it was. I kept waiting for the old Boston to return. For him to pull back and say he’d made a mistake.
“Lucy.” He scooted closer, once again licking his lips. But it wasn’t enough. He grabbed my hip, bringing us nearly against one another. My mouth parted, and he took advantage, sweeping in to taste me. A deep sound tore from Boston, the vibrations humming through my entire body. I barely recalled clutching his shirt as he held one hand on the back of my head and the other on the middle of my back.
Drawing me in, his fingers dug into my side. I gasped, letting my tongue plunge in to meet his.
“Fuck, this is right. I knew. I just knew. Even amnesia couldn’t steal you from me.”
Boston reached down, gripping one side of my ass to pull me to straddle him. I didn’t fight the fear. And I was afraid. I’d never gone this far with a guy. The need was never there. I had dedicated myself to a man I never thought myself capable of having.
“You’re going to wake up for real and know…you’re going to remember, and you’re going to see this isn’t what you wanted.”
“Wrong.” Pain sliced through my scalp as he tugged hard. The cry that left me turned into a moan as he sucked against my neck. My hips rocked, and I gripped the back of his neck as his teeth grazed my skin. And I was gone… The need consuming me was overwhelming. I kept moving. Kept whimpering for desires I didn’t know how to fulfill.
“I want you to stay the night with me.”
“W-What? Here?”
“No, we’ll leave. We’ll go back to my place. My mom said I live in their guest house. We’ll go there.”
My head shook while I scrambled from his lap. Heat burned into my cheeks, working its way down my entire body. I couldn’t keep my legs still. Stopping almost felt like a new form of suffering—one I’d never experienced.
“You shouldn’t leave early. This,” I gestured between us, “can wait. Your health is more important. They have to make sure you’re okay. I’m not sure we—you’re going to change your—”
“Never. Come back. Right here.” Boston patted his lap, and I didn’t miss the hardness of his cock through the sweatpants. The inferno grew as my head snapped up. A chuckle left him, and he stood enough to reach out and pull me back. “My health is fine. They’re letting me out in the next day or so anyway. You’re just scared.” His tone dropped—deep, coaxing, smooth. “Don’t be afraid of me. I don’t need memories to know innocence when I see it. I’m not going to hurt you, Lucy.”
Boston gripped behind my knee, drawing it in to bend on the bed. When he brought up the other, I didn’t have time to be shy. He stole the emotion with his possessive kiss. Sensations and need exploded back through and I was rocking again, holding him so tight, I was sure no one would have been able to pry me away. How long had I wanted this? Him? I was so worried he’d change his mind, I was afraid to face that he might not.
“Leave with me. Stay with me.”
“I really shouldn’t. Jeff—”
“Is not our concern. Stay. Tonight. Tomorrow. Every day. Me and you. I want to know everything about you.” He inhaled deeply, sinking his teeth into the junction at my neck as he sucked hard.
“This isn’t happening.”
“Wrong again, Little Lucy. This is happening. And no one is going to come between that.