Courtney
His palm tentatively rubs along my hard, rounded stomach. The butterflies swarming inside of me take flight. I can’t read his expression. It’s as though he’s stunned and trying to figure out a puzzle.
“You’re pregnant,” he repeats before jerking his hand away. He paces the ground in front of me, his eyes glued to my stomach. “Fuck.”
I tense at his words and sit up. My body feels alive, my nerves pulsating for the first time since I left him that night, but it’s nothing more than a tease. I shouldn’t have let it get this far. Because, once again, my heart has flared back to life and I’m desperate for his mouth back on mine.
“How far along?” he demands, his jaw clenching.
“It’s not Elliott’s if that’s what you’re asking,” I bite out, irritation in my tone. It’s only ever been Rome since the first day we had sex.
“Courtney.”
“Almost five months.”
He lets out a relieved sigh, which bothers me. Still, he has zero faith in me.
“I thought you were on the pill.” He crosses his arms and glares at me. “Was that a lie?”
I curl up my lip. “I never once said I was on the pill. You never asked. When I suggested condoms, you weren’t interested. You put off the vibe that I was yours. That you’d take care of me.”
He gapes at me. “You were on the pill in high school. I saw your damn pill box. Why would you stop taking them?”
I slide off the picnic table. “Same reason why I let my engine blow up.” Storming past him, I rush over to the car. Before I can get inside, his hands are on my hips and he’s twisting me around. I’m pushed against the side of his car, the metal cold against my butt, as he touches my stomach again.
“Fuck.” He closes his eyes and exhales loudly, the cold air making his breath come out in a white cloud. “Fuck.” Then he glares at me. “How could you be so irresponsible? Didn’t you consider having a kid would be costlier than a package of fucking birth control pills? Jesus, this is a more colossal mistake than letting your engine fry from not changing the oil! It’s a lifetime mistake, Courtney.”
“Take me home.” I swallow down my emotion and straighten my spine. I will the steel to flood through me and harden. “Nobody asked for your help, so how I afford my mistakes is my business.” I hiss at him. “Oh, and fuck you.”
He blinks at me in shock, as though my words snap him out of his tantrum.
The anger fades and his features crumple. Hollow. Gutted. Broken. With one look, I feel as though he reaches right inside me and yanks my heart from my throat. It was always his to begin with. Something in my own expression must spur him on because his mouth is on mine the next instant. For one moment, all the fury and betrayal and sadness fade away.
I get lost in him.
It’s that simple.
He sucks every part of me into his vortex and doesn’t let go.
With one kiss, he dizzies and confuses me, as though we’re inside a powerful tornado. Spinning and spinning. Again. It’s one of the reasons I’ve kept my distance for so long. I can’t think straight when he’s touching me. All reason and logical thought fly out the window as I get swept up in his kiss. He doesn’t just annihilate me, he wraps me up and together we annihilate everything.
“Oh, baby,” he groans, emotion making his voice thick. Regret is heavy in his voice. “Please forgive me.”
I’m so stunned by his remorseful words that I freeze. “Why are you so hot and cold?”
He cups my cheeks and peppers kisses on my lips. “I don’t know, but what I do know is I can’t live without you.”
I believe his words because he speaks them in such a raw way that I can almost see them bleeding from him.
“It’s not just me anymore,” I challenge.
“I’m not ready to part with any piece of you,” he murmurs.
I want to believe him and let things get back to the way they were, but I’d only be deluding myself. If Elliott were here, he’d agree. If it weren’t for meeting him on my first day of Freshmen Comp, I would’ve struggled a lot harder. He’s been a great friend.
“Take me home,” I say sadly. I’d already resigned myself that I would be a single mother. No sense in starting to think otherwise. Rome is too moody. He’ll get my hopes up only to smash them next time he gets upset.
He gives me a hard stare. “Fine. I’ll take you home.” He leaves me to stalk around the side of the car. It takes everything in me not to cry.
I’m stronger now, though.
I have to be.
With my chin held high, I get in the car with him and manage to keep my tears at bay.
I wake to someone carrying me. It takes a second to realize that it’s Rome who has me in his grip. My house is warm and he smells too good. I let out a contented sigh as he sets me on my bed.
A whimper.
A bark.
And then a big tongue licking my face.
“HB!” I croak out as I fully wake and hug the dog I’ve missed.
Rome chuckles as he turns on a lamp. I’m shocked to find myself in his bed, not mine.
“You said you were taking me home,” I grumble as I scratch Harvey Benjamin behind the ears.
“And I took you home. You belong with me,” he replies in a no-nonsense tone.
I scowl at him as he sheds his coat. Underneath, he’s wearing a black wooly sweater that I instantly want to steal for myself. He kicks off his shoes before stepping over to me. I let him pull me to my feet. With gentle tugs, he relieves me of my stocking cap and coat. Then, he scratches at his jaw as he regards my body.
“What?” I huff and place my hands on my hips.
“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”
A smile creeps over my face. “You must not get out much.”
His hands find the hem of my Harvard sweatshirt and he peels it from my body. I’m self-conscious in my giant mom bra with the maternity pants covering half my stomach. Thankfully, he seems more interested than turned off. He pushes the material down to my hips and falls to one knee as if to see my stomach better. When he kisses my belly, I let out a choked breath.
“A baby. We made a baby.” Awe fills his voice.
“Not exactly,” I murmur.
He snaps his head up to glare at me. “You and HB have something you want to confess?”
I snort out a laugh and slap at the side of his head. “Ew. No.” After letting out a heavy sigh, I rub the side of my stomach and sigh. “We made two, Rome. Apparently, the whole twin thing is genetic.”
In a surprise move, he wraps his arms around my thighs and hugs me, his ear pressed to my belly button. I can’t help but run my fingers through his hair. “Courtney…”
His voice sounds so broken. Terrified even.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t know how to do this.”
I sit down on the edge of the bed. His head falls into my lap as if he can’t physically hold himself up anymore. “I don’t either,” I admit, my voice a whisper. “But I’m doing it anyway.”
He lifts his head, his brows crashed together as he stares at me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. “What if I fuck it up? I already have.”
Leaning forward, I kiss his forehead. “Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”
“Did you just quote Vanilla Sky?” he asks, a smile tugging at his full lips.
“I love that movie.” I run my fingers through his unruly hair again. “And apparently, you do too.”
“I don’t want to be like my dad,” he says suddenly, his features darkening. I’ve never seen him so lost or scared.
“You won’t be,” I assure him. Thoughts of Raven’s journal under her bed cause me to shiver. I wonder how Rome would feel knowing I know exactly what happened to him. But then again, her poem seemed to lead right to its hiding place. It makes me wonder what else is in her journal. I always thought journals were supposed to be private.
“My dad was cruel to me, Court.” His jaw clenches and his green eyes flare with rage. “He was cruel to my mother.” He closes his eyes, letting out a sharp sigh. “I was cruel to you.”
“You’re not like him,” I breathe, my voice steady and firm. “You’re good.”
“No,” he barks out bitterly as he rises to his feet. He towers over me, strong, fierce, unbreakable. “I’m not good.” Tenderly, he strokes my hair from my eyes with his fingertips. “But I can be. I will be.” His palm cups my cheek.
I cover his hand with mine. “I can work with that. We can work through all of this together. I have faith in us.”
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he murmurs, his thumb running along my bottom lip.
“I missed you more than you could know.”
“Elliott?” Jealousy flares in his eyes.
I smile. “A friend. Maybe more like a protective brother. He has a fiancée. She and I text each other baby Pinterest ideas. She’s pregnant too.”
He lets out a rush of air. “Damn, I almost kicked his ass for no reason.”
“Elliott is scrappy. He wouldn’t have gone down without a fight,” I taunt, a grin on my lips.
“He’s lacking the crazy I have.” He arches a dark brow and his raven seems to move on his neck. “Am I right?”
“You’re pretty crazy for sure,” I agree with a giggle.
His entire body relaxes at my laughter. “I missed that sound.”
“Be a good boy and you can hear more of it,” I murmur as I reach behind me and unhook my bra. When I toss it away, his eyes widen as he appreciates my much bigger breasts. “Be a good boy and you can have a lot more of the things you want.” I lie back on the bed. Harvey Benjamin sighs and jumps off the bed to go sit in his recliner. Even though he’s putting up a fuss, I can tell he’s happy I’m back.
“I’ll be a good boy,” Rome growls as he slowly peels my maternity pants and panties down my hips. “But first, I’m going to get a little naughty.”
I bite my lip as he strips me completely. I’m self-conscious about my belly that now bears some silvery marks on the sides from my skin being stretched to accommodate our babies. Although, he’s seen my others—scars I wasn’t proud of from a time I hurt myself—and he still accepted me. By the way he devours me with his eyes, as though I’m the most breathtaking thing he’s ever seen, it has me feeling bolder. I part my thighs.
“Jesus,” he curses and shoves his jeans down. “I don’t even know where to start.” His hungry gaze roves from my lips to my breasts to my belly to my pussy. “You’re going to kill me.”
I smile and hold my hand out to him. “You could start by kissing me again. I promise I’ll be gentle.”
He slowly prowls over me to cover my body with his. I like how he’s being careful of my newly shaped body but using his eyes to tear me apart. They burn holes in my flesh. They open me up and inject me with him. His lips press to mine for a sweet kiss, but when he palms my stomach, I let out a groan of happiness. This sets him off because he nips at my bottom lip before kissing me hard and full of desperation.
“Rome…” My voice is needy and I’m embarrassed at the whine coming from me. I wrap my legs around him, urging him closer. His thick cock presses against my clit, causing me to cry out. “I need you.”
He reaches between us to grip his length and lines himself against my wet opening. We don’t need any foreplay this time. We just need each other. A desperate connection. He pushes into me slowly, as if he fears he might hurt me. My body stretches to accommodate his thickness. Everything feels different while pregnant, but I’m certainly not complaining. We’re together again. Fitting perfectly together like we were meant to be.
“Fuck,” he mutters as he slowly begins sliding in and out of me. “You’re even tighter than I remember. I’m going to come so fucking fast.” Even though he’s complaining about not lasting long, I can see the awe in his eyes.
“You better make me come fast too then,” I challenge, my fingernails stabbing into his shoulders. “Do you remember what I like?” I tease.
With an impish grin on his lips, he bucks into me harder as he finds my clit with his fingers. I jolt from his expert touch, a loud moan escaping me. He pinches my clit in a way that isn’t exactly painful but certainly elicits pleasure. When he rolls it between his finger and thumb, I arch my back beneath him. The smug bastard smirks at me and all I can do is hold on for the ride. His lips find my throat and he sucks my flesh as though he wants to mark me. So primal and feral. All of the heady sensations seem to play together like a complicated game—and they’re outsmarting me. I forfeit and give in. My orgasm sweeps through me violently. I moan and clench my eyes closed as I try to keep a grip on my sanity. The moment his heat floods into me, I decide I like being crazy with him. We ride out the last of our pleasure until all that’s left of the storm we created is our heavy breathing.
“I love you,” he murmurs, his lips pressing against my neck near my ear. “I never stopped. If anything, I think my love multiplied to something obsessive and probably illegal. I stalked you, you know.”
I smile at his confession. Not hardly a secret, though. When a loud, black Challenger is parked nearby everywhere you go, you kind of catch on to the fact your ex-boyfriend is following you.
“It made me feel safe,” I admit with a sigh.
“You’ll always be safe with me. You. Our babies. Your heart.”
His promise is one I can feel down to my toes. And because I’m a fool, I believe him.