Chapter Seventeen
Rogue
When I woke up, I found myself alone in bed, and I buried my face in the pillow as I held back a groan. Did Claire run off again?
“Fuck!”
I hadn't paid much attention to what she’d said last night in my post orgasm haze, but that didn’t mean I forgot, either.
We had to stop doing this…
It wasn’t like I didn’t understand her reasoning. Only, when I slept with Claire, I wasn’t exactly thinking of a reason. I could just imagine my dad if he found out, how disappointed he would be in me. And I didn’t want that, but he didn’t have to know. I didn’t know how Hannah would react, I didn’t think it would be nice, either, but did we have to tell people at all?
I sighed and pushed myself up, then slid out of bed. She’d said we needed to talk. If she’d run off again, maybe we’d get to talk after she came off work or something, but I needed to go to the hospital. I’d been scared yesterday, and being with Claire had been enough to distract me from my going yesterday. But I couldn’t keep hiding behind her when this was something I needed to do.
At the very least, I needed to know how Dad was doing. If I kept wasting time like this, and he died before I mustered the courage to see him on my own? The misery would kill me.
Scratching my head, I looked around the room for my clothes. I was a bit surprised to find they’d been picked up off the floor and were folded on the edge of the bed, the side Claire had been sleeping in. I pulled on my briefs and the slacks, then left the room as I shrugged on the shirt, but didn’t button it. I froze just outside the door in surprise when I heard Claire’s voice.
She hadn’t left yet?
A little dazed, I followed the sound of her voice to the kitchen.
“… something important came up, or I wouldn’t be asking for time off, I promise it’s only for the morning…uh, it’s a family emergency, sir…yes, I know I cut off out meeting yesterday because of another family issue, but…”
I could only hear parts of what she was saying, but it appeared she was trying to get time off work. So she was planning to go to the hospital with me this morning. I wasn’t sure why, but it made me feel relieved. And not just because I would have someone there with me to reduce my fear a little bit. If that was all it was, I could have looked for someone to take me, but it was different if it was Claire.
I wasn’t sure yet what our current relationship was, exactly, I saw her a lot differently than before.
“Uh, but sir…” Claire continued, frowning. She’d already seen me walk into the kitchen, but it was only a glance before she looked away, chewing down on her lip. “Can I just have a couple of hours off this morning? I need to go to the hospital to visit…uh, about yesterday…”
Her face twisted a bit, and I guessed he’d asked why she didn’t go to the hospital yesterday after begging off work early. I should have had some self-control, but if there was one thing I’d wanted at that moment was to lose control so I wouldn’t think. I didn’t think her conversation would end well just listening to it.
“Yes, sir,” she said moments later, sounding defeated, but it was subtle. “I’ll be at the office on time, sir, don’t worry…yes, I’ll join you in your office immediately…if you’ll excuse me, sir.”
She sighed as she cut the call and leaned back against the counter, her chin falling to her chest as she folded her arms over around her waist.
“I’m guessing that didn’t go well?” I asked rhetorically.
I’d moved to sit at the dining table, chin resting on my hand, elbow braced on the table. Claire stood unmoving for a moment; then she looked up at me with her lips pressed flat.
“I tried to ask my boss to let me off for the morning to go to the hospital, but he refused to allow it.”
“Because you came home early yesterday,” I said.
She nodded. “Your parole officer came to visit me. Did you know?”
I flattened my lips and frowned. “Yeah. She stopped by in the morning and told me she’d be coming to see you. She caught me while I was drunk. Sorry about that.”
Claire gave me a wide-eyed look of surprise. “You’re…apologizing?”
I nodded. “I know the kind of risk you’re taking in letting me stay here, Claire. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it. I know… I was throwing a tantrum before, and I promise to try not to do it again.”
I frowned at myself because the best I could do was promise to try. I couldn’t say for sure it wouldn’t happen again. Fuck, I was crap at explaining myself which was why I avoided it like the plague. Expressions and me just didn’t go hand-in-hand. Things between Claire and me were still pretty vague, and I didn’t know when we would have our ‘talk’, but it would be optimistic to hope it went well for the both of us. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, and I wasn’t sure what Claire wanted, either. Because it was obvious she wanted me; she hadn't shoved me out of bed last night, either. But, at the same time, she didn’t want me. She had her reasons, and as long as I didn’t know them, I didn’t know how to take care of them so she would give us a chance.
“That…is a surprise,” Claire said, blinking at me.
“Oh, come on. I’m not that bad, am I? I can tell when I’ve made a mistake. I knew even before Ms. Brent came to visit. But what exactly did she tell you that had you leaving work early?”
Claire narrowed her eyes at me. “She told me that you hadn't been to the hospital to visit Richard even once. Rogue, is that true?”
I sighed and looked to the side. “Well, you caught me when I was about to go yesterday, and I will be going today. It’s not like I didn’t want to go.”
Her eyes remained narrowed on me for a moment longer; then she nodded her head like she’d confirmed a thought of hers. I tilted my head a bit to the side, curious, but I didn’t ask.
“Well, anyway. I’m in the middle of a case with a superior of mine at work, so during this case, I answer directly to him. Ms. Brent showed up in the middle of a meeting, and I decided to leave right after. I practically had to beg to be let off, and he made me promise I’d go in early today to finish that meeting then move forward. So he won’t allow me to beg off for this morning.”
I shrugged. “It’s fine, Claire. I know I can't keep putting this off, and it’s not like I need you to hold my hand the entire time, or anything. I can just go by myself. Oh, I found some cash in that drawer over there, it’s where I’ve been getting funds but its, uh, out of money. So, if you’d just give me some cash, then it’s fine.”
Claire rolled her eyes. “If all you need is money, you should have reminded me sooner. I can't believe I forgot myself…”
I didn’t know what she was talking about and watched as she walked out of the kitchen. I noticed that she was already fully dressed and ready to leave. Did she have breakfast? But I couldn’t smell or see anything. Before I could think too much about it, she came back with her purse, rifling through it. She pulled out a card, then brought it over to me.
“This is my debit card,” she explained. “It doesn’t have a lot of cash in it, so you have to watch how you use it. You can call it an allowance of some sort. It’s so you don’t have to come to me for everything, after all, this isn’t your new prison or anything. You can only use as much money as the card holds and money will be deposited into the account at the end of every month. If you need extra money, you’ll have to ask me directly. And it will only be for a few months, so adjust to society quickly and find a job or something, all right?”
I stared at the card in my hands, a bit surprised. I’d had money before, and my accounts with funds Dad gave me and cut off when he wanted me to behave, not that it helped. He wouldn’t let me starve, but it did reach a point where he cut me off permanently because I kept losing money in gambling and maxing out my credit cards. I hadn't thought much what I would be doing about money, so this was very relieving.
It did make me wonder, though, whose idea it was. Dad, Hannah’s, or Claire?
Claire groaned, and I looked up.
“Shit. I need to leave now if I don’t want to be late to work. I need to get out of here.”
“You’re not having breakfast?” I asked, moving to stand. “I’ll make you something real quick if you want?”
“It’s fine. I don’t eat breakfast; I’ll just get something on the road. I’ll meet you at the hospital at lunch though, okay? Let Mom know when you see her. It won’t be for very long, but I’ll try to make it.”
I nodded along with her words, but she wasn’t even looking at me. She had a small, silver watch on her wrist and she was checking it as she backed out of the kitchen. At the last word, she turned around without a last glance at me. I was already standing, and the kitchen wasn’t that wide. I reached out and snagged her hand, stopping her from walking away, and she whirled around to face me, looking a bit startled.
“Um,” she started to speak.
I didn’t give her the chance to say whatever it was she planned on saying, though, tugging her closer, my other hand moving to cup her cheek, as I leaned down to kiss her lips. I couldn’t explain the impulse that made me do it, but I liked it. When I pulled back and met her eyes, Claire didn’t look like she minded it, either.
“I’ll see you,” she murmured.
I hummed, smiling down at her. Slowly, she backed away from me, and I didn’t stop her again as her hand slipped out of mine. She turned and left, and shortly after she was out of sight, I heard the door. Then I sighed and headed back to the bedroom.
“First, shower. Then, hospital.”
From now on, I needed to set my priorities straight. Getting to the hospital was the most important thing at the moment, everything else would have to wait. I needed to see to Dad and get a job, I didn’t like the idea of Claire giving me money like a kid. I had to be independent and stop thinking with my cock for a change, but it was going to be fucking hard, but I had to try.