Chapter Thirty-One
Rogue
The first day of my new job was coming up. I was so fucking scared. I was going to be a fucking chef at the Old Blue Tavern. Dad and I used to eat there when I was a kid. It was under new ownership now, after it had gone downhill, but I wanted to bring it back to its glory. Make it into a place where I would want my family to come and enjoy. I smiled. My family. Me, Claire, our little Richard, named after my dad, and the new little one on the way. Now, all I had to do was make it perfect.
For the first time in my life, I had a purpose and I didn’t feel like the bad apple anymore. If anything the complete opposite. As if for once I could look in the mirror and feel proud about who I was and what I was going to do with my life. This was all new to me, but it filled me up with this crazy warm feeling and I knew that it had everything to do with Claire. Whoever said that love was made for fools, had obviously never been in love.
“You coming in here, big boy, or are you going to make me wait all weekend?” Claire yelled from the bedroom.
I’d promised to make her breakfast in bed. Something that I had been doing every Saturday morning. The only difference was, this one was very special.
Sure, it was her favorite—pancakes, cream, and strawberries. But this time I put something on top of the strawberries, and I was fucking nervous about what she was going to say.
Shit, I moved back and forth like a woodpecker against a tree, changing my mind every second. I glanced at Richard in his playpen, watching some weird kids show with bright colors and crazy sounds. It was the right step. Wasn’t it? I bit my lip. We’d never talked about it, but it was what I wanted. I hoped she wouldn’t throw me out on my ear. I hoped she thought I was good enough.
The old me, the old Rogue, wouldn’t have had a chance in hell.
The new one.
The soon-to-be chef of the Old Blue Tavern and the father of her children.
He should be.
Or so I fucking hoped so…
The problem I kept coming back to was, we’d never talked about the future. I’d just moved in, and stayed. She helped me through two years of culinary school, while I worked at the coffee shop that I used to think was boring to work in as a kid. However, it had been my main source of income for the last two years. Until now, I reminded myself.
“Rogue?” Claire shouted out once again.
“You can do this,” I whispered to myself, give Richard another look. “Daddy can do this, right Richard?”
Richard looked at me and said, “Da-da-da-da.”
“Rogue?” she yelled out again.
“Right. Time to do this.”
She was on the move, shit that woman could never keep still, she always had to be moving or doing something. Chill and Claire just didn’t happen at all, I knew that but I was so fucking nervous that my stomach was in fucking knots.
When did I become such a chicken?
“Go back to bed. I told you, I’m coming.” I held my breath, waiting for a response.
She shouted back, “I thought I heard voices.”
She did alright, it was me, myself, and I and Richard.
What if I asked her and she said no? Then what? Did I move out? Did we continue the way we were?
Shit. I picked up the tray and headed to the bedroom with my hands fucking shaking.
If she said no, I’d just have to deal with it.
“About time,” she said as I walked into the room. She patted the bedside and said, “We were getting very hungry.”
Great, the pressure’s too much, but I need to do this. I need to if I want things to go exactly the way that they need to.
Fuck!
I dropped the tray.
Then so much for the strawberries hiding the ring. It rolled across the floor to spin and drop right by her side. It wasn’t the romantic setting that I had picked out. But she looked at the ring and then back at me. I avoided her gaze why I tried to clean the mess up.
Shit, here goes nothing, I know what she wants me to say, but the fact that she’s not saying anything kinda makes me even more nervous.
“Claire. I know that things haven’t gone exactly as planned, this is kinda difficult for me. It’s just that…”
Tears started to stream down her cheeks. “Is this why you were taking so long in the kitchen?”
Like a kid that’d been caught stealing in the candy store, I nodded.
“And why you’ve been acting all crazy lately?”
Again, I nodded. I felt as if my lips were glued tight. I wanted to speak, but no words were coming out. I fucking hated when that happened.
“Are you going to ask me?”
I raised an eyebrow and I was just about to tell her that I didn't know if I should, that this was some fucking big mistake.
But I got on one knee in front of her, looking up at her beautiful eyes. I muttered, “Will you marry me?”
Shit. I didn’t even recognize my voice, I was so caught up in my madness that it was as if I’d completely lost it. How was I going to cope if she said no?
“Rogue,” she purred as she moved down my level. “I couldn't think of anything better than being your wife. I love you.” She hugged me.
I hugged her a little too tight and she laughed, and this time she wasn’t the only one crying as I started to wet her shoulders from the tears that couldn`t stop falling from my eyes.