Jude
I can feel my body being moved and the hardness that was under my back is replaced by a softer cushion. A mattress, I guess. It’s pretty evident that I’m in the hospital and have undergone surgery.
I feel like crap, sluggish, and kind of nauseous but not completely awful. I try to move my fingers again as I’m rolled away to somewhere. I still can’t open my eyes but I can tell my fingers are moving as I can feel the sheet moving around them.
The sounds come and go as I listen to the constant sound of the squeaking wheels as they roll along the floor. Then I feel the hesitation of a door being pushed open by my bed and the woman who’s walking next to my bed, says, “This is Jude. I have to pee like a racehorse, the surgery went so long. Page me when he wakes up, will you, Bonnie?”
“Okay, what happened to him?” the other woman asks.
“Car wreck. One of those eighteen wheelers hit him as he pulled out in front of it. And he’d been drinking so here’s another story to tell those teenagers of yours about when you get home tonight.” I hear the door close and feel warm breath on my face.
A hand moves over my cheek then I feel a little pain as something’s pulled away from my skin. “Let’s get this out of you so you can be more comfortable, Jude. I feel something slipping up my throat and then it’s gone.
A cool cloth is run over my forehead and the lady starts humming. She runs the cool cloth over my face and then along my arms and the back of my hands. “Time to wake up, Jude.”
I try to open my eyes and find I’m in a dim room and an older woman is hovering around me. “Hey,” I say with a whisper.
She looks at me and smiles. “Hi there, handsome. It seems you got yourself in a little accident and landed yourself in the hospital. How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” I say and can’t really understand why my voice sounds so damn scratchy. “Is anyone here for me?”
“I don’t know. I’m just the nurse who makes sure you come all the way out of the anesthesia they used to put you under to do surgery on you. I don’t know anything else,” she says as she looks away to check some lines that seem to be going into me.
“So, you don’t know what happened to me?” I ask as my voice seems to be getting a little stronger.
She shakes her head. “Nope. Are you waking up more?”
“Yeah,” I say.
She presses a button and says, “Recovery, paging Marci Kingston. Marci Kingston, your patient is ready in recovery.” Then she smiles at me. “Your nurse will be here soon to take you to your room.”
“I guess you also don’t know how long I’ll be staying here?” I ask her.
She just smiles and says, “I have no idea. I don’t even know what they did to you.”
The door opens, letting in a bright light and I close my eyes. “Ouch!”
“Good, you can see,” the woman’s voice, I have come to know as Marcie, says.
It opens again and some man comes in and starts pushing my bed out of the room. Marcie walks alongside it again and messes with the lines that are attached to me. “How are you feeling, Mr. Hurst?”
“Fine,” I say. “You can call me Jude.”
“Okay, Jude. We’re taking you to your room and will be bringing in your family. A doctor will be joining us and explaining the surgery you just went through,” she says then we get onto an elevator and she looks down at me as we become stationary. She runs her hand over my forehead and I feel my hair move back. “You don’t look too bad for all you’ve gone through.”
“Not too bad, huh?” I ask with a chuckle but stop because it hurts to laugh.
The elevator doors open and the big guy pushes me out into the hallway where I pass some other poor man on a bed too. Only he’s all propped up and looks like crap.
“Hi,” I say as we go past him.
He just looks at me like I’m stupid. My nurse looks at me with a grin. “Don’t mind him. He’s kind of crabby. He’s been here for a week and wants to go home.”
“Oh, I bet he does. How long am I going to be here?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. The doctor will be a better person to ask that.”
“Okay,” I say then my bed is turned and I find myself in a small hospital room. The curtains on the one window in the room are pulled back and I see that it is night time. “Wow, it was daytime last I recall.”
“What do you recall?” the nurse asks as my bed is placed smack dab in the middle of the room and the bags of fluid are hung up on a new IV stand. The big guy leaves without saying a word and Nurse Marcie is looking at me, waiting for me to tell her what I remember.
“Um, well, I was swimming with my brothers,” I say as I try hard to remember why I was driving.
A scene flashes in my head and I see us laughing as I talk about Mercy being the one for me. Then I see the back of her Suburban as it leaves the house. And that’s it. But I know something was wrong.
“I think my girlfriend was mad at me,” I say. “I have a distinct feeling she was mad and leaving our house.”
“Oh,” the nurse says. “Okay, I’m about to go get your family. They’re all here and I think there’s a young blonde woman with them. Is that the girlfriend?”
“Yeah, that’s Mercy, my girl. So, I guess she’s not mad at me anymore if she’s here.”
“Probably not,” the nurse says. “So, I’ll go get them if you’re ready for them.”
“How do I look?” I ask as I have no idea.
She smiles and pulls a tray to the bed and presses a button on the bed to lift my top half up. When she opens it, I see my reflection in a mirror. I don’t look too bad. I don’t look too great either.
She nods. “There you go. I think you look wonderful, considering what you’ve been through.”
She leaves and I move my hands to lift my body up a little better and notice my legs are very heavy as I pull myself up. There’s no pain but when I go to pull the sheet back I stop as I see my hospital gown is bunched up at my side.
I see a bag of yellow fluid hanging from the bed rail and pull the sheet back.
I’ll let the doctor tell me everything. I don’t want to see something that might freak me out!
The door opens and a tall man walks in wearing a long white coat. “Hey, son. How’re you feeling?” he asks me as he looks at a clipboard full of papers.
He hasn’t even looked at me yet as his forehead is full of creases. His eyes are trained on the page then he looks at me. He seems to be looking around for someone else. “Is anyone with you, son?”
“Not yet.”
He looks back down at the clipboard then back at me. “We’ll wait.”
How bad could it possibly be that we need to wait?
Mercy
It feels like it has been forever since the doctor came and told us Jude was out of surgery and would soon be in his own room. Silence has entombed us since Zeek let me know what he thinks.
I don’t how they’re going to take it if Jude wants nothing to do with me after all I’ve taken away from him. We’ll see if anyone of them is still telling me the same thing in a little while when Jude finds out some pretty hard shit about himself. Shit, I caused him.
A lady in purple scrubs comes into the room and says, “He’s ready.”
All of us breathe sighs of relief after hours of waiting and we all get up and follow the nurse down a series of hallways. She walks at a face pace as I lag at the back of the line of his family.
Finally, she turns into a room and we file into the little room. I see a doctor standing at the end of a bed and when I get inside, I see Jude laid up in that bed.
His family is all over him. Kissing, hugging, and murmuring soft words. Our eyes meet and I find mine burning with tears that are threatening me. He wiggles a finger at me and I come to his side. “Hi,” I whisper. “You don’t know how good it is to see you, Jude.”
“You don’t know how good it is to see you, Mercy.” He takes my hand and pulls me in for a kiss.
As our lips touch my heart pounds and I have to struggle not to cry. I pull back and look at him then he pats the side of the bed. “Sit with me, baby.”
I do as he’s asked and he moves his arm around me. I hate how everyone is watching us. I completely hate it. Then the doctor gives us a nod. “Your better half, Jude?”
Jude nods. “This is Mercy.”
The doctor lifts his light eyebrows at me. “Pleasure to meet you. Before I proceed with this information, I’d like to let you know that how you handle this is important to this young man’s recovery, Mercy.”
I nod. “Yes, sir. I’ve been made aware of that.”
Jude turns his head and looks at me with an odd expression. Then I kiss his cheek. “It’s going to be okay, Jude. Let’s hear what the doctor has to say.”
He nods and the doctor clears his throat. “Jude, you have a crushed pelvis.”
“What?” Jude asks as he grabs the blanket to pull it back.
Jude
My father who is standing next to me takes my hand, stopping me from pulling the blanket back to see what the hell this doctor is talking about.
How can my pelvis be crushed? I can’t even feel anything hurting down that way!
“Jude, just listen to the man, son,” Dad says,
I look at the doctor. “I can’t feel anything. How come there’s no pain?”
The doctor frowns as he says, “Parts of your lower vertebrae were shattered, rendering you paralyzed from the waist down.”
“Paralyzed?” I ask. He can’t mean that.
The doctor nods. “Yes. You will have to wait to heal then undergo extensive therapy which may or may not lead to you walking again.”
My mind is going hazy and I lie my head back on the pillow. “How long will I be here?”
“Most likely for several months,” he says.
Dad asks, “If we can get him the proper things, can we take him home and get a private doctor and nurse for him?”
“Well, I suppose you could do that. That’s very expensive,” the doctor says.
Dad just nods and pats me on the shoulder. “Money is not an issue, thank the Lord above.”
“We will need him to be here for a few more days to be sure no infection sets in on the wounds,” the doctor says.
“So I have more than crushed bones?” I ask with a shaky voice.
Mercy holds my hand as the doctor answers me. “You had extensive damage to your lower region. Your scrotum was severely lacerated.”
“Whoa! What?” I ask as I reach for the bedspread again to check that out.
Mercy takes my hand and holds it still. “You can’t see that right now, Jude.”
I look around the room at my mother and little sister. “You’re right.”
The doctor smiles. “It’s bandaged anyway.” He looks at the chart again and then back at me. “The surgeon made some notes here about your reproductive organs. I’m not sure now is the time to get into that with you. I’d much rather talk about what happens next for you.”
“I’d like to hear what he put about my reproductive organs,” I say. “Was more than my scrotum injured?”
“Well, there are lacerations in a few places. The underside of your penis has a couple which could lead to erectile problems in the future but I don’t think that’s relevant at this time. There’s also the fact that with the injuries to the scrotum you may be infertile now, another thing that I see as irrelevant at this time,” he rattles off.
I have to shake my head to clear it. “If that’s so fucking irrelevant then what is the relevant news, doc?”
“Your paralysis, of course,” he says.
“I don’t understand,” I say. “When the bones heal, I’ll be able to walk again.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t seem to understand. Crushed bones don’t just reform and heal up. You’ll be in a wheelchair, most likely, for the rest of your life, Jude.”
“No,” I whisper. “No!”
Dad looks at me with a stern expression. “Jude, we’re going to get you the best doctor’s that money can buy. We’ll do everything we have to in order to get you back to yourself again. Don’t you worry.”
Then I look at Mercy and my heart sinks. “No kids, Mercy. How do you feel about that? Oh, God! No sex, Mercy?”
She shakes her head. “I love you, Jude. Don’t worry about any of that. I’m not.”
“Sure you’re not!”
“I’m not,” she says. Then she takes my face between her hands and holds it tight. “You’re alive, Jude. We’re so happy to have you with us. You have no idea how hard I prayed for God to let us keep you. We all love you, Jude. I don’t give a shit about the rest. I’ll be here for you for as long as you want me.”
“You can’t mean that,” I say and feel myself slowly falling apart. “You should’ve let me die.”
“No!” my mother says harshly. “Jude Hurst, no! Don’t even think that. Lots of people live their entire lives in a wheelchair. You can do it for however long you need to. Don’t say anything negative about yourself. We’re glad to have you.”
“Well, I don’t see how life is going to be worth a shit if I have to be in a wheelchair and can’t feel anything below my waist. I can’t see it at all.” I look at Mercy. “And you already have your hands full with the kids. I can’t glom onto you too. I can’t do that to you.”
“You won’t be glomming onto me, Jude. I want to be there for you. I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I really do,” she says as tears start to fall over her pink cheeks.
“You say that now but you won’t. I’ll be a burden on you. Just another burden on your shoulders. I can’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you, Mercy.”
Mercy
“We can talk about this later, Jude.” I kiss his cheek that’s gone red with his anger. “You stay calm.”
“Yes, Jude,” his mother says. “You stay calm. We won’t let Mercy carry the work of caring for you all on her own. You let us worry about that and you just worry about getting better.”
“There is no getting better, Mom,” he shouts. “Did you hear him? This is me forever, now. Because of one stupid ass decision, this is me now. For fucking ever!”
I get off the bed and look at the doctor. “Can’t you give him something to calm him down?”
He shakes his head. “He’s got too many drugs still in his system. And frankly, I’ve never seen anyone who could get so irate with so many in them. You all have a lot on your hands to get him to accept what’s happened to him. I’ll send in the chaplain. Maybe he can help.”
I watch the doctor leave the room and turn back to see Jude’s face is red and he’s pissed at the world right now so I reach deep down into my own private misery and pull out a bit to try to help him understand things better.
“Jude,” I say, pulling his attention to me. “I know this is hard. I do. But you need to be grateful for your life. Take it from someone who’s lost nearly her entire family in a matter of minutes. I know how life can knock you out with one punch. I do. You were kept alive and nearly completely intact.”
“Not intact enough, Mercy. Not enough. I won’t do this to you. I will not do it. You deserve more. You deserve a real man. Damn, baby! You need a real man to help you. I’m not that anymore and I’ll be Goddamned if I make you take care of me. I’m supposed to be the one who takes care of you and those kids. Not take more away from you.”
Zeek steps up to bat. “Jude, let her take care of you, bro. She’s the one who caused it all, anyway.”
All eyes go to Zeek and all are shocked with what he’s said. Then Jude asks, “How is that?”
“She overheard you talking about how you hunted her down and all that and got mad and ran off. You chased after her and that’s how you were nearly killed. Let her take care of you. Fuck! She’s the reason you can’t walk or fuck anymore!”
“You watch your mouth, Zeek!” Jim shouts then he looks at Jude. “You were drunk and driving is the reason you’re here. Not because of anything to do with Mercy.”
Jude looks at me with a frown on his handsome face. “Mercy, I don’t care why this happened to me. I really don’t. I just know I’m not about to become another person who takes a piece of you. You have way too much on your plate to have to include me in on that too.”
“Jude, I’m not leaving you. You can say whatever you want to. I’m not going to walk away from you. I’m not this weak woman you make me out to be. I can handle what comes with you. I can do it. So just let me,” I tell him.
Jude looks at his family then says, “I need to be alone with her.”
They all nod and leave as I stand there looking at them. One by one as they file past me they give me nods except for Zeek. He says, “You better make this better with him. Or you’ll have me to answer to.”
“No, she won’t,” Jude says. “This is between her and I. Not anyone else.”
Zeek gives me a look anyway. And I know what he means. He has no idea how much I hold myself accountable for what’s happened to Jude. He has no idea of how stubborn I can be. He also has no idea how much I love the man.
As he leaves the room, I turn to look at Jude and put my hands on my hips. “Before you say a word. Let me tell you how my day went today. I know yours was hard but so was mine. So will you allow me to let you in on my rollercoaster ride of a day, first? Then you can tell me how yours went.”
He cocks his head to the side as he says, “Do you really think you can top mine, Mercy?”
“We’ll see,” I say as I start to walk slowly in front of his bed. “First thing this morning I was met with Mia’s wet bed. She was afraid to get up and go pee and she said she had called out for me but I didn’t hear her because the house is too big. So I put on my list of things I need, a baby monitor.”
He looks a little sad as he says, “Aw, I didn’t know that. Did she feel awful?”
I nod. “She was pretty upset for wetting her new bed. But I bathed her and dressed her and told her it was alright and that I was going to fix that problem today.”
“Good,” he says then looks at me. “You’re very good at problem solving. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“You’re the first,” I say as I turn and walk back in the other direction as I go on. “So, I took the kids shopping. Let me tell you how fun that was. Not one bit. I should’ve never taken them. They wanted everything but clothes. Becky was a help but we both were running in circles trying to keep them in the clothing sections of the stores rather than the toy sections.”
He makes a low chuckle. “I bet they were handfuls.”
“They certainly were. Then we took a lunch break,” I say as I continue walking back and forth. I pull at my pink shirt. “Did you notice that my shirt isn’t the one I left the house with today?”
“No,” he says as he shakes his head. “But in my defense, I did nearly die today.”
I stop and smile at him. “That you did. Well, the reason is that at lunch Carter was shoving a hotdog into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in a year and he choked on it. I had to give him the Heimlich maneuver and the hot dog came out and he started crying so I turned him around to face me and hugged him and he puked chili all over my shirt.”
“Poor kid,” Jude says as he shakes his head. “He must’ve been so scared. I choked on a cheese stick once. I was so afraid I was going to die and no one even noticed I was choking until I fell on the floor. I was six.”
“He was scared and we both were messes. So I had to go to the bathroom and change him. Luckily, I had him some new clothes so that was an easy fix. I hadn’t bought me a thing yet, so I had to put one of the little t-shirts of his on myself and go back out into the mall with my tiny shirt, looking very trampy and getting many whistles.”
“I bet you did,” he says as he raises his eyebrows. “And what hurts the most is how my dick would’ve gone hard with that story and now I can’t feel a damn thing.”
Jude
“Jude, I know that’s weighing heavily on you right now. But you’re going to get therapy, both mental and physical, to help you with that. Don’t let that be the thing that settles on you. It’s just not going to be a healthy thing for you right now,” Mercy says as she comes and sits on the bed next to me, facing me and running her hand over my cheek.
I grab her hand and pull it to my lips. With a soft kiss to it, I can’t help but notice the absence of the usual stirring in my groin. I can’t help but notice how when I run my hand through her hair and she leans her cheek against my hand, how nothing is happening in my lower regions like it has always done for me.
“This isn’t the man I wanted to be for you,” I tell her as I take her by the chin to make her look at me.
“It doesn’t matter. You are still the man for me. Can you tell me that you don’t love me?” she asks.
“No,” I say as I run my fingertip over her red lips. “I can’t say that. I love you more than I can imagine loving anyone. I love you so much, I can’t do this to you. I can’t make you take care of a man who can’t do a damn thing for you.”
“I think you can figure out how to do lots of things. Given time,” she says.
“Not make love to you,” I say as I run my finger down her neck and trace the outline of her breast.
“There’s more than one way to make love, Jude,” she says. “As long as we feel it in our hearts, that’s all that matters.”
She takes my hand and pulls it to her mouth, leaving a kiss on it then holding it. “I can’t stand the thought of you having to push me around in a wheelchair.”
“Then get a motorized one,” she says with a light laugh.
“How can you not be running away from all of this?” I ask her.
She should be hauling ass as fast as she can. Then I remember that she doesn’t have a nice place to live right now. It makes me think that she might be thinking she has to hold on to me.
“Running away? From you? Never,” she says as she leans in and kisses my cheek. “You’re stuck with me. So just get used to it. I’m not ever going to run away from you. Not ever again.”
“You’re not blaming yourself about me, are you?” I ask as I can see it in her eyes. I just want to see if she’ll be truthful with me.
Her head cocks to the side as she says, “You want a lie or the truth?”
“The truth,” I say. “Always the truth.”
“Then the answer is, yes, I do feel I’m to blame. But that’s not the reason I’m determined to stay with you. That reason is pure love. Nothing else. I promise you that.”
“I’ll let you stay in the house. I’ll still take care of all of the bills until your house is ready for you to move into it. I’ll still do the partnership with the fitness center and everything will stay the same. Only I’ll set you free. Free of taking care of me, and free to move on to a man who can really take care of you in every way.”
She looks at me for a long time then she leans in and kisses my lips. “Thank you, Jude.”
I guess that’s her answer. I guess she’ll accept what I want. I can’t let her waste her life away with me. Half of a man.
“I completely understand,” I say.
“Do you?” she asks as she runs her hand over my chest. “Do you, really?”
I nod. “I’m not about to let you end your life by being with me.”
She nods and looks at me then gets up. “So the rest of my day went like this. I came home after one hell of a long day and found the man I love telling his brothers how he had hunted me down, used my orphaned niece and nephew to pull me in, and put me in a gorgeous mansion all to capture his trophy.”
“About that,” I say. “You don’t know how sorry I am.”
She looks at me with a stern expression. “Don’t. Don’t you dare try to explain that.”
I have to say, I didn’t expect her to bitch me out after all I’ve been through. But I do believe she’s about to give it to me and I have to say, I don’t think I can take it. Not right now. Not with everything that’s happened to me.
“I don’t know what came over me when I first saw you. I wanted you like I’ve never wanted anyone before. And I’m a hunter, Mercy. That’s what I am at my very core. So when I set my mind on you, I went into hunter mode. But I swear to the Lord above, I didn’t pretend to love those kids to reel you in. I swear that. I genuinely love them. As a matter of fact, I want you to bring them to see me. No matter what our situation is, I want you to know I’ll be there for those kids forever. I mean it.”
“So you are admitting that you did some pretty sneaky things to get to me?” she asks as she puts her hands on her hips.
I nod. “Yeah, I did. I made sure you fell into the traps I set for you. I made sure you became mine. I made sure you’d stay with me forever. I know the things I said may have sounded crass. And I did mean them. I’m not going to lie. I meant it when I said that you were the one. I meant it when I said I was going to make you mine. I meant it when I said you were my trophy. Because that’s how I see you. You’re my golden trophy and I couldn’t be more proud that I’m the one who caught you.”
“Why?” she asks as she sits back down on my bedside. “Why, Jude?”
I run my hand through her hair and hold a lock of it, reveling in its softness and wishing like hell the accident hadn’t happened. If it hadn’t, I’d have given her the ring I have at home.
I was going to ask her to marry me tonight. Instead, I’m lying here, half the man I was earlier today. All because I hauled ass after drinking way too much. If I had been sober and in my right mind, I’d have known she’d calm down and we could’ve talked on the phone and worked things out.
Instead, I drove a car when I shouldn’t have and fucked myself up. Fucked my entire life up, forever. This isn’t her fault. It’s entirely mine and I am man enough to admit that and man enough to let her go for her own good.
But she has asked me a question so I answer, “Because somewhere in time, I think it was written that you and I belong together. I felt it the moment I saw you. When I touched you, it became more evident. As time went on, and we made love, it was cemented in my head. You and I were meant to be.”
“So, why end it now?” she asks as she leans in close and presses her lips to mine.
I don’t let it get further than that. I turn my head before her tongue moves past my lips. “Because I am no longer a man. I’m sorry if you can’t understand. This is over. I love you too much to keep you attached to what I’ve become.”
The tears that instantly stream down her cheeks hurt me, but only to my waist because from there down, I feel nothing and it’s evident to me now that numbness will soon move all the way through my body as life without her is never going to be the same.
Giving Up The Hunt Part 9
Mercy
“So that’s it then?” I ask Jude as he looks at me with a defeated expression. “You’re giving up the hunt for me?”
With a nod, he says, “How can I do anything now that I’m only half a man, Mercy? You tell me how I can compete with other vital men for you. The answer is, I can’t. And you know it.”
“So you want me to walk away from you and act like neither of us holds any love in our hearts for the other? You want me to turn my back on the man I love when life’s dealt him a sharp blow? That’s what you’re asking me to do, you know. Leave you when you’re at the lowest point in your life. Well, I can’t do that, Jude. So suck it up and get ready to lean on me because I’m not going anywhere.”
His eyes follow me as he holds his jaw tight. I know the man is used to getting this way and even I’ve given into him on most everything he’s wanted from me but not this time.
“Mercy, you can’t do this to yourself,” he says as he presses some button and lays his bed back so he’s lying flat on his back. “I’m not going to let you. If I have to make you hate me then I’ll just have to do that. But I won’t let you waste your life on me.”
Closing the curtains, I turn back to find him with his eyes closed and go to his side and kiss his cheek. “I love you, Jude Hurst. And I know you’re a very stubborn and bratty man. But you’re not going to win this fight. I love you too much to allow that. So get ready to hear the word, no. Get ready to hear it a lot out of me.”
“Mercy, leave me alone,” he growls.
I kiss his cheek again then say, “No.”
His eyes open and I see a ton of anger in the greenish brown depths. “Mercy, damn it! Don’t make me hurt you!”
I cock my head to the side and study him for a moment then stick my tongue out at him then say, “Get used to not getting your way, Jude. I know it’s going to be difficult for you but I’m not going anywhere. If you say mean things, I’ll know it’s the protective side of you saying them. Not the man I know you are and will be again in no time. You’ll see.”
The door to his hospital room opens and an older man with a Bible in his hand comes inside. “Hello, Jude. I’m Pastor Stevens. I heard about your terrible accident and I’m here to lend an ear and tell you about some fascinating miracles I, myself, have witnessed. And who is this lovely young lady who stands at your side, Jude?”
“This is Mercy and she needs to leave me alone,” he says with a snarl.
I give the man a smile. “Nice to meet you, Pastor Stevens. I’m Jude’s girlfriend. His live-in girlfriend and I’m not going anywhere.”
The man takes a seat in the one chair in the room and opens the Bible. “Jude, let me hear your story, son.”
I raise the bed back up so Jude can talk to the man and get an icy stare from him. Placing another kiss on his cheek, I say, “So tell him your story.”
“Not much to tell,” Jude says. “This morning things were great. More than great, actually. I had ordered something special and it had come in. I went and picked it up. I had big plans for this evening. Big plans that were crushed like my body was. The end.”
“What was this special thing you got this morning?” Pastor Steven’s asks.
Jude looks up at me and says, “It was an engagement ring. I was going to ask this lady to marry me.”
My heart stops and I stare into his eyes. “You were?”
He nods and the Pastor says, “So why change things now? You can still ask her. You’re not dead, son.”
Jude looks away from me and my head is still spinning from what he was going to do but now it seems marriage is off the table. “I might as well be. I’m not a man anymore.”
The Pastor pulls out a paper from the back of his Bible and looks at it. “I don’t see that here that has happened to you. I see paralysis that might be operable sometime later to restore mobility and some injuries to your reproductive organs but nowhere does it say that you’re not a man anymore. Nope, not anywhere on this paper.”
“I can’t feel anything,” Jude says. “Nothing is moving or putting out any kind of anything. I’d welcome pain right now. That’s how dead it feels.”
I run my hand over his head and whisper, “But you aren’t dead and I, for one, am glad you’re not in pain right now.”
The Pastor smiles at us then looks at Jude. “Jude, you have a good woman right there. Don’t let your foolish pride rob you of her. I’m here to tell you about some of the things I’ve seen. Now, nothing happens overnight, mind you, but with time and work, anything can happen. Even if it’s acceptance of new limits.”
“You haven’t even seen a specialist yet, Jude. You never know what can happen. Don’t try to throw us away just yet. Give this some time. Give yourself some time.” I run my hand over his cheek and smile at him. “Use that determined streak in you to move forward. This is a setback for certain but it doesn’t have to be the end of anything.”
He takes my hand away from his face then moves it with his and holds it near his heart. “I’m sorry, Mercy. I am so sorry I did this to us.”
“I take my part of the blame in this too. So don’t say it was all you because we both know it wasn’t. Since we made this situation together, let’s learn how to live with it, together as well.” I pull our hands up and kiss his. “I love you, Jude. I always will no matter what.”
“Can you please go get Zeek and tell him I need to talk to him?” he asks me.
I nod and walk away to get his brother. I have no idea why he wants to talk to him but I know I need to let him talk to other people about his situation. I know he needs help from everyone.
As I walk outside the door, I see his family leaning against the wall, waiting. They all look exhausted and I know they need to go home and rest. Making my way to Zeek, I touch his shoulder. “He wants to talk to you.”
He nods and goes into his brother’s hospital room as the rest of us wait and I hope Zeek is able to convince his brother to stop trying to protect me and accept the fact I love him and want to be here for him.
Jude
“I honestly don’t know what to do, Zeek,” I tell my brother after I’ve explained things to him about how I feel about Mercy now.
The Pastor heard every word and seems to be sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting for Zeek’s answer. Zeek paces around next to me then stops and looks at me. “You have to ask her. You had planned on doing it anyway. So don’t let this change anything.”
The Pastor nods in agreement. “He’s right, Jude. Don’t let this stop you from doing anything. This is where you take the reins and hold tight and let the Lord know you’re ready to take this little setback, head on. Or you take the other path where you let this terrible thing that’s happened to you take away your spirit. Your God-given spirit.”
Zeek smiles at me and pulls the little black box out of his pocket. “Look what I made sure to bring.”
I hold out my hand and take the box. The diamond sparkles as I open the lid. My plans were so very different from how this is going to happen now. I was going to propose, then we’d make love until dawn.
Now I guess I’ll propose and that’ll be it. No love making. Maybe not ever again. And here I am back to square one again. I can’t do this to her. I can’t tie her to my broken body. I can’t do that to her!
Closing the lid, I hand the ring back to Zeek. “I can’t. I can’t do this to her.”
Zeek takes the box and opens it back up. “Look at this, Jude. You spent so much time picking this ring out. You took one of her other rings to the jewelry store to make sure it was made to fit her exactly. You took so much time when you bought this ring. This material thing that would cement you two together for the rest of your lives. Jude, if this accident had happened one day after your wedding would you ask her for a divorce?”
“Of course not,” I say as I look away. “But you don’t seem to understand. A marriage without the things that make a marriage isn’t fair to ask her to be a part of now. Plus, she’ll say yes now just because she feels sorry for me.”
“Oh?” the Pastor asks. “You think all that love she had for you has gone away and all that has been replaced with merely feeling sorry for you?”
“No,” I say and feel utterly confused. “Look, I just think this isn’t the right time to ask her to join me in what is sure to be a boring marriage. So, keep the ring for me, Zeek. If things change later, I’ll ask you to give it back to me. For now, though, keep it and don’t bring it up.”
The Pastor leans back in the chair and taps his fingers on his chocolate colored Bible cover. “You know, there’s going to be lots of paperwork with your recovery. Lots of things to sign and decide and a spouse can help with all of that. You know, making it all legal will also mean she and those kids you were talking about are taken care of no matter what happens. You did say you wanted that, no matter what.”
With a nod, I say, “Yes, but I don’t want her trapped with me.”
“Trapped?” Zeek asks with a laugh. “What a horrible trap! Married to a wealthy man with so much financial security that even those kids will have it the rest of their lives and then some. That’s some terrible trap, alright!”
I look at him and say, “Trapped in a bed with a man who can’t function.”
Zeek looks at the Pastor and asks, “Can you do me a favor and cover your ears for just a moment? I need to remind my brother of something.”
The Pastor places his hands over his ears and nods. “Sure.”
Zeek leans in close to me and whispers, “Stop talking like you only have one way to please a woman, Jude. We both know there is more than one way to skin a cat.”
I want to laugh but it hurts when I do that so I smile at him. “I don’t think that was so bad the old guy needed to cover his ears for that.”
The Pastor laughs and pulls his hands away from his ears and says, “No, that wasn’t quite so bad, Zeek. He’s right you know, Jude. There certainly is more than one way to skin a cat.”
“But isn’t there a very good chance that I’ll get pretty grouchy and hard to be around as I’m sure I’ll get frustrated a lot by this whole thing?” I ask the man.
He nods. “Sure. But if you have a loving woman to ease that frustration, it sure does make life easier.”
Looking back and forth at them, I lay my head back and think about everything. Life would be easier with her in it. Life would suck without her in it, that’s for sure.
But asking her to marry me now seems wrong. So how do I get around this?
Zeek puts the box with the ring in it in my hand and walks away. “Come on, Pastor, let’s tell Mercy to come see Jude alone and let him do what he’s been planning for some time now. We’ve been in his way long enough.”
The Pastor gets up and gives me a nod. “God bless you, son. I’ll be around to visit you every day while you’re here. And if you’d like me to, I’d love to officiate your ceremony.”
“I’ll let you know. Thanks, guys.”
Pressing the button to take me back a little more, I hear a buzzing sound coming from my IV and see a drip of clear liquid dropping into the line that leads into my arm.
Mercy comes in and her gorgeous smile makes my heart skip a beat. She looks tired and there are dark circles under her blue eyes but she’s still so beautiful. “Hey, the nurse told us we need to let you rest. So everyone wants to say goodbye before they have to go.”
I feel a little tired all of a sudden too. “Whoa, I suddenly feel really sleepy.”
She points at the bag at the very top of the IV stand. “The morphine timer went off. You got a few drips to take you into La La Land. I’ll be here in the morning to hang out with you for as long as they’ll let me.”
“Can you bring the kids tomorrow?” I ask as my words get slurry. “Can you put this on the table for me?”
I hand her the little black box with the ring in it. She doesn’t ask, she just sets it on the table and smiles at me. “I’ll give you a kiss goodnight and send the others in. I’ll bring the kids to see you in the morning. I love you, Jude.”
“I love you, Mercy. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say as my eyes start to close.
She presses the button to lay the bed back and kisses my lips. “You have sweet dreams. I love you.”
“Love you,” I say then I am out.
Mercy
A week has passed and I’ve spent every day with Jude. Everything is healing well and there are no setbacks which is great. The kids are sitting on the bed as his doctors have yet to let him get up and into a wheelchair.
He’s been scheduled for an MRI today to see how he’s looking from the inside and he seems apprehensive about it. I think because the nurse told him a couple of the male nurses would be by to help him get into a wheelchair and position him for the procedure.
I can see it written all over his handsome face that he’s not looking forward to it at all. To top things off, I keep seeing him glance at the black box that’s still sitting on the table where I placed it the night he got here.
I know it’s an engagement ring and I’m not about to bring anything up about it to him. It doesn’t take a mind-reader to know he must think if he asks me that all important question that I’ll simply accept because of his current situation. Which isn’t true.
I would’ve accepted the proposal before the accident so why wouldn’t I accept it now?
“Unkie, Jude, when will you be home?” Mia asks him.
“I hope soon. This MRI will help the doctors decided if I’m stable enough to be moved.” He looks up at me and then back at Mia. “And a bedroom has to be all set up for me at my parents’ estate.”
I can literally feel my stomach drop. “Why not come home to our place, Jude?” I ask him.
He just shakes his head. “Can’t.”
I’m not about to let him stay anywhere but with me so I say, “There’s that large bedroom downstairs that’s completely empty. It wouldn’t be hard to get that set up. Plus, it’s closer to the hospital. Just in case something happens and you need to get here for any reason.”
He looks at me as he bites his lip then looks at Carter. “Hey, buddy, can you get me that bottle of water on the table? I can’t reach it.”
I get up and grab the bottle. “I got it. Here you go, baby.” As I hand it to him our fingers touch and he moves them back very quickly.
He’s told me to keep my hands to myself. He’s said the way it used to make him feel is now bothersome. I’m not in his shoes to know exactly what that means so I’ve kept my hands to myself.
It’s been a week since my lips have touched him and, to be honest, it’s hurting me more than I knew it would. As I watch him coloring with the kids, I can see how this is weighing on him. He feels so much less than he is.
The door opens and a couple of burly men in blue scrubs come in. One is pushing a wheelchair and I see sweat form on Jude’s brow. He looks at me. “Get the kids and go, Mercy.”
The men stand there, waiting in silence. I suppose they’ve done this many times and know the psychological effect it will have on Jude. Men don’t do well with accepting their body has limits. Jude especially doesn’t like the fact he can’t walk on his own.
To be lifted up by some men isn’t a thing he wants anyone to see. So I take the kids and leave the room. “I’m taking them home to stay with Becky then I’ll be back, Jude.”
“Okay. Whatever you want. You don’t have to come back if you don’t want to,” he says the way he says every time I leave his hospital room.
“I am coming right back. And I’m bringing some of the shampoo you like. I’m going to wash your hair with that instead of this cheap stuff the hospital has,” I tell him then leave the room.
As we walk out of the hospital, I see his mother and father getting out of his truck. They wave and we go over to them. “Hi, kids,” his mother says. She reaches into her purse and pulls out two boxes of raisins. “Look what, Mawmaw has for you two.”
She and Jim have decided the kids need to call them Mawmaw and Pawpaw. I think it’s a good idea too. But Jude frowned when his mother asked the kids to call them that the other day in front of him. He didn’t say anything, though.
“Can we talk for a minute?” Jim asks me.
“Of course,” I say and follow them over to a small picnic table under a large oak tree.
The kids are busy with their raisins as I take a seat on one side with them. Jim and Loretta sit down and he says, “It’s about Jude and when he gets to go home. We’ve been talking as a family and he’s told us he wants to be taken out to our estate. But we think that would be a bad idea for him.”
“First of all, we have my puppies roaming everywhere and the environment isn’t sterile. And you know how they bark when strangers come around. The nurses and doctors coming and going would create chaos in our home,” Loretta says.
Jim adds, “But the biggest, most important thing is, he’d be secluding himself from you and the kids. We think that’s a terrible idea.”
“I was just talking to him about that. I told him there’s a place we could easily make for him and he wasn’t agreeing to anything I said. So how do you think we can get him to agree?” I ask.
Jim smiles. “I’ll come up with a list of reasons he has to make a place there or stay in the hospital. You and I both know he’ll want to get the hell out of here as soon as he can.”
My stomach flips and flops and I burp. “Oh! Excuse me! I’ve had terrible tummy problems lately. I know it is stress about Jude. Sorry.”
“That’s okay,” his mother says. “I’m sure you’re feeling tons of stress.”
“Do you think you can handle Jude coming home with you?” Jim asks me.
“I can. What I can’t handle is him not coming home with me,” I say as I run my hand over my stomach that’s really churning. “Um, I better go now. I have to get the kids some lunch and get them home then come back up here to find out the results of the MRI he’s getting right now.”
“Oh good!” Loretta says. “I can’t wait to see how he’s progressing.”
Getting up, I feel a little light-headed and stop for a second to steady myself. Jim’s arm goes around my shoulders as he asks, “Are you okay?”
“I haven’t eaten anything today,” I say. “I’ll eat and be fine.”
“Okay,” he says as he lets me go. “Now, you take care of yourself, Mercy. We can’t have you getting hurt or sick.”
“I know,” I say as I shake my head and start walking toward the car.
I can’t get sick now!
Jude
Being picked up isn’t a thing I ever saw coming my way. I’m helpless and I really can’t stand this feeling. My body is slumping in the chair and I try to straighten up, using my hands and arms to do it. But I can’t pick my ass up.
“I need to get back to my weights. I used to work out daily,” I say as I try to have some self-esteem but I’m losing what’s left of it very quickly.
The two men give me a nod but say nothing. Their silence is somewhat appreciated as what good can be said about such a thing as being nearly completely helpless?
The room where the MRI machine is a relatively small and when we get inside of it, I notice there’s a slender table I’m guessing my body is going to be placed on.
With no mention of anything, the men wheel me up next to it and one takes my feet as the other my shoulders and I’m laid out on the thing before I realize what’s happened.
Another man comes to me and pulls my arms over my head. “Hi, I’m Bob. I’ll be doing your MRI. You’re going to hear some loud beeping sounds and I’m going to ask you to take in breaths and hold them. It’s important that you keep it held until I tell you to let it out or this will take much longer.”
“Okay,” I say as I lie perfectly still and feel a terrible feeling. Fear is coursing through me for some reason. It’s stupid to be afraid of this painless procedure but I feel it nonetheless.
“I’m going to be putting a nuclear dye into your IV to check for any blood clots. It’s going to cause an odd sensation in your lower regions. You’ll feel as if you’re actually peeing but don’t.”
One of the nurses who brought me in interrupts him as he says, “He’s not feeling anything from the waist down.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize that,” the guy named Bob says. “Sorry about that. Okay, just lie still and this will be over soon and you can get back into your bed.”
Back in bed is the last place I want to get back to. I want to get the hell up and walk the fuck out of here. I’m so tired of this and it’s only been a damn week. I’m not sure how long I can take this.
The table I’m on begins to rise up and the donut hole contraption is coming closer to my body. The table moves my body back and forth as the machine makes beeps and then I’m up very close to it as the man tells me to hold my breath and my entire body gets scanned.
It’s over in no time and wasn’t bad at all. Yet, I still feel nervous and anxious. How I wish I was a year down the road already and used to shit. This is terrible and I keep thinking that it would’ve been better if I died in that fucking wreck.
My body is lifted again by the men and placed in the chair and I’m going back down the hallway toward my room. I pass an old man in a hospital bed who’s being moved and he looks tired, depressed, and hopeless.
We just look at each other as we pass. No nod, no wave, nothing but two men who know this is the worst time in their lives.
I see Mom as I’m brought back into the room. “Where’s Dad?” I ask.
I hear the toilet flush and water running in the sink then he steps out of the bathroom. “There he is! How’d it go, son?”
One of the men move to take my feet and I stop them. “Wait! Mom, Dad, can you get out while they do this?”
They leave quickly then the men move me back to my bed. “Your doctor will be here soon to discuss your results,” one of them tells me then they both leave.
Mom and Dad come back in, along with a nurse. “Hello, Jude. Let me get you all situated again,” she says with a pleasant smile.
She moves my IV stand around and fixes the tubes again. Then she throws the blankets back and moves my hospital gown around to make me more comfortable I assume. “You know I can’t tell if it’s all bunched up or not so it makes no difference if you fix it or not.”
“Well, to me it does. I like my patients to look well cared for, Jude. You know that. So how did that MRI go for you?”
“It was okay,” I say as she pulls the gown up and runs her hand over the bandage that’s wrapped around my dick.
I watch her hand move over the white bandage that resembles a hard dick and hate it that I feel nothing. Then her hand disappears underneath it and I know she’s checking the bandage around my balls.
“When the results come back and the doctor approves it, we’re going to take the bandages off and see how the healing is going. Won’t that be exciting?” she asks me.
Mercy walks in just as the nurse is moving her hand over my bandaged cock again and her mouth drops open. She clamps it closed quickly and I have to laugh.
The nurse turns to look at Mercy and smiles at her. “Good, you’re here. We’re going to get to check out how he’s healing in just a little while when the doctor gets here. That’s pretty exciting, isn’t it?”
Mercy nods and then I notice my mother is looking out the window like there’s a parade out there or something. I guess women don’t like watching men get physically inspected.
The nurse pulls the gown back down and the blanket back up to cover me. Then she excuses herself and Mercy can’t seem to meet my eyes as she asks, “Are you feeling okay, Jude?”
“As okay as I can get.” I look at her for a second and see a thin sheen of sweat covering her face. “Are you hot?”
“Huh?” she asks as she takes a seat in one of the extra chairs they’ve brought into the room since I always seem to have more than one visitor.
“You’re kind of pale and sweating,” I say. “Are you feeling okay?”
She nods. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
Dad looks at her then says, “Come on Loretta, let’s go get something to drink. I think Mercy could use a nice glass of iced tea. We’ll bring you one, honey. You sit tight.”
Mom and Dad leave the room and I’m left alone with Mercy. I hate being left alone with her now. I can’t stop looking at her long blonde hair as it’s pulled back in a ponytail and I want to pull that rubber band out of it and run my hands all through it and kiss the hell out of her plump red lips.
She licks them and I move my eyes up to find her looking at me. “You seem nervous,” I say. “Are your worried about the MRI results? Because what else could go wrong with me? No reason to worry.”
“No, I’m pretty sure the results are going to be good. I guess just watching another woman handling you sent something uneasy through me. I can’t say I enjoyed that at all.” She looks away from me and out the window.
“Well, you better get used to it as I’d guess it’s really about to get handled as they check it all out and change the bandages. If you can’t handle it, you can leave. But I can’t feel anything if that makes you feel any better about it,” I say.
It secretly thrills me that she’s not happy seeing another woman fondling me. It proves she still sees me as a man.
And that makes me very happy to know!
Mercy
Yet another doctor comes into Jude’s room just an hour after the MRI was done and he introduces himself to Jude, his parents, and me. “I’m Doctor Padron. I specialize in back injuries and I was asked to come look at your MRI results.”
Jude pulls himself up a bit and I go to move the pillow behind him and realize my breasts are all up in his face as he pushes at me. “For Christ’s sake, Mercy!”
“Oh! Sorry, Jude,” I say as I back away from him.
The nurse who was in the room earlier, checking his bandages, comes in and goes to the other side of him, lifting him some to position the pillow for him. She has obviously been trained how to do that without getting her tits all up in people’s faces as she does it.
The doctor waits for Jude to get all settled then continues, “So, as I was saying, the results I’ve seen let me know there is a good chance I can do surgery to give you a chance at mobility again. With the improved mobility, the nerves may repair themselves as they will be realigned again and it could occur. You could regain feeling, control, everything.”
“I could go back to normal?” Jude asks as he looks at his father then his mother then me.
His eyes linger on mine then he looks back at the doctor as the doctor says, “I don’t like to make any promises to my patients. But I have had success with this type of injury in other people. Especially people who are physically fit. The recovery period is relatively shorter when the patient has the ability to rehabilitate the muscles by exercising according to our guidelines.”
Jude’s face splits into a grin. “I don’t know why I haven’t thought about this at all. I know most everything about the human body and the muscle systems. I could make sure I exercise what needs to be built back up in order to regain everything.”
The nurse smiles at him and pats him on the shoulder. “Some good news, for you, Jude!”
The doctor turns what looks like a picture of bones toward us. There are two places where the bones look pulverized and he points them out. “I can replace these sections of destroyed bones with a new technology. We use the bones of pigs to make a fusion between the existing healthy bone. The pieces usually adhere to each end they’re joined to and mesh well with the human bones, creating a healthy structure once more.”
“This is amazing,” I say as I look at the picture and can easily picture the smashed bones being taken out and a whole bone being placed in the spot that would be left open.
Jude looks at me with the first real smile I’ve seen from him since this happened. “It is, isn’t it?”
Another doctor enters the room and introduces himself. “I’m the urologist who’s been assigned to your case. Doctor Wieland. I’m here to examine you, Mr. Hurst.”
Doctor Padron gives Jude a nod. “I’ll get the paperwork going for the surgery and have it given to you by the end of today. Then I’ll set up the operating room date and we’ll have everything scheduled. If you have any questions about anything, my personal cell number will be on the papers and you can call to ask me anything.”
Jude waves at the man. “Thanks, Doctor Padron! See you soon!” With a glance at his mother, he says, “Mom, could you and Dad leaves us while he does the personal area exam?”
His mother and father hurry out of the room, and I kind of feel like I should go too. I get up out of the chair. “I guess I’ll get out of here too.”
Jude holds out his hand and gestures to me. “I’d really like it if you stayed.”
A lump forms in my throat and all I can do is nod and go to his side and take his hand. I watch as the doctor comes and pulls back the blanket then the gown and the nurse goes to take some bandages and antiseptic out from underneath a cabinet in the room.
She hands the doctor a little pair of scissors and Jude turns his face toward me. “I can’t watch a pair of scissors down there. Hide my eyes, Mercy.”
I nod and pull his head in between my breasts as the doctor cuts the white bandage along the top of his penis. He pulls the sides of the bandage back as the nurse takes a cotton swab she’s doused with alcohol all over the red skin if the top part of his penis that looks wrinkled but fine. There are no cuts on it.
Then the bandage is completely pulled off and the doctor pulls the catheter out of the end. I grit my teeth as it looks painful but thankfully Jude can’t feel anything.
Jude looks up at me. “How’s it looking?”
“Pretty good,” I say. “You want to look?”
“Should I?”
I nod and he pulls his head away from my chest and looks down. “That doesn’t look so bad to me,” the doctor says as he lifts his penis and looks underneath it.
The nurse looks around and nods. “Looks great.”
I step over so I can see what they see and see two places where there are about five stitches each and the area looks to be healing well. “Are those going to dissolve or have to be pulled out?” I ask.
“They’ll dissolve,” the nurse says.
The doctor nods and smiles. “That looks good. Now for the scrotum.”
Jude looks up at me. “That’s where the fish swim.”
I smile at him. “Don’t worry about a thing.”
The doctor and nurse work together to get the bandage off that area and his facial expression is hard to read so I step back over and see what he’s uncovered. I try to hide my surprise from Jude as I see three lines of stitches that travel around his entire ball sack.
“The stitches look good,” the doctor says. “No signs of infection at all. When the stitches have all dissolved, which will be in about a week, I’ll need to get a semen sample from you to see if those fish are swimming. And in the meantime, I’ll be leaving the catheter out to see if you can urinate on your own.”
“I can’t feel when I need to go, doc,” Jude says.
“I know that,” he says. “You’ll have on an adult diaper. Your body can still function, you just can’t feel it. Even the semen I will get will come from stimulating your penis to produce it.”
“How can it work with no feelings?” he asks.
“Because it doesn’t have to have feelings to work. You are aware that a woman can get pregnant without experiencing an orgasm, right?” the doctor asks.
I nod and Jude seems to be getting excited about things for the first time since the accident. “So, sex is not out of my future? Babies are not out either?”
The doctor looks at Jude with concern. “Jude, your injuries have to heal. So don’t go trying anything. But sex in some form will be in your future. And even if ejaculation cannot occur and you have viable sperm, we can harvest it through an incision in the scrotum to get it.”
Jude’s face is speaking to me even if his mouth isn’t.
I think we’ve reached a turning point!
Jude
Laying in my hospital bed, I look at Mercy as everyone leaves after I told them all the great news I got today. Her blue eyes are all sparkling and her smile is radiant. “I wish you could stay the night and cuddle with me,” I say as I pull her to sit down on the bed with me.
A nurse comes in with a clipboard and a stack of papers are on it. “Here are the forms you need to read and sign for the surgery by Doctor Padron. Just leave them on the table when you get through and I’ll pick them up when I come back later.” She looks at Mercy and smiles. “And stay as late as you want. I won’t tell on you.”
Mercy smiles at me as the nice nurse leaves us alone. Setting the clipboard aside, I say, “Can you do me a favor and hand me the little black box on the table over there?”
She hesitates then nods and gets up to get it. Her hand is shaking a little when she puts the box in mine. “Her you go.”
I pull her to sit back down, facing me and open the box. “I bought this for you and had planned on giving it to you that day when my world turned upside down. You stayed right by my side even when I told you not to. You proved to me that everything I thought about you before was right. You’re the strongest, smartest, most loyal person in my life. I was a fool for the way I’ve been treating you.”
“No, it’s really normal, Jude,” she says with a smile on her beautiful face.
“Well, normal or not, I’m sorry. And I’d like to know if you’d like to marry my mean old, fucked up, ass. You can say no if you want to. I’d completely understand.”
She laughs and holds out her hand, wiggling her ring finger. “If it fits, I’m yours.”
Taking it out of the box, I act as if I’m nervous it might not fit, even though I know it will. “If it doesn’t then what?” I ask as I hesitate at the tip of her finger.
She winks. “Let’s see what happens.”
I laugh and slide the ring onto her finger and she holds it up and looks at it. “That’s one very big diamond, Jude.”
“I picked it out to show you how big my love for you is,” I say as I take her hand and pull it to my mouth. I kiss her finger and look into her eyes. “So your answer is, yes, I know that. But can I hear you say it?”
“Yes,” she says then she leans in and kisses me gently. “Yes, Jude. I would be more than honored to become your wife.”
For the first time since that terrible day, I pull her into my arms and kiss her like we used to kiss. Our tongues flow around the others and we both moan with the sensation it seems we’ve both missed more than either of us even realized.
My hands move up her neck and I pull that damn rubber band out of her hair, releasing the ponytail so I can run my fingers through the soft waves. Our breathing gets heavy as our hands move all over each other. Then she ends the kiss with little kisses. “We can’t get you too excited, baby.”
“Not yet, but soon we can get me as excited as you want,” I tell her as I hold her tight. Now that we have that settled, let’s read this mountain of paperwork and get this all signed.”
She moves to sit on the bed beside me and picks up the clipboard. “Okay, these are a list of all the things that can go wrong. Great! They’ve left nothing out. Paralysis, hives, fever, and even death. So here, you go. Sign at the bottom of the page.”
I take the pen from the top of the clipboard and sign the bottom then look at her. “Hey, how about you and I get married before I get this surgery. That Pastor said he could do it. My father is good friends with a judge who would gladly backdate a marriage license for us. We could do it tomorrow. What do you say?”
“Do you really think we could get that all pulled together that quickly?” she asks as her eyes dance.
She’s excited and I think I have another, yes!
“I bet we can,” I say. “So, what do you say to becoming Mrs. Jude Hurst tomorrow?”
Her smile makes my heart fill with love and joy. “I say, yes. Yes, Jude Hurst! I’d love to become your wife tomorrow!”
She turns and I take her into my arms again and we seal the deal with another kiss. Our hearts are both pounding in our chests. I can feel hers as I hold her tight to my body.
I’ve been an idiot. I’ve had the perfect woman for me right here and waited to ask her to be with me forever. I was a fool but this fool is through feeling sorry for himself and I am taking things into my own hands.
Running my hand under her shirt, I place it over her heart then pull my mouth away from hers. “Mercy, I promise you that I’ll always guard your heart with everything I have in me. I’ll do my best not to hurt you. I’ll do my best to be here for you even if I’m not one hundred percent of the man I used to be.”
A tear falls down her face. “Jude, you’re one hell of a lot of man even when you aren’t one hundred percent. In my eyes, you’ll always be the complete package that you’ve always been. Nothing can take that away from you.”
“Mercy, I’m never going to let you go. Not ever. I love you so much, you have no idea.” I pull her in and kiss her again.
It’s odd the way I’m feeling. I have no sensation in my nether regions at all but my heart is aching with the love I feel for her. Aching with the need to hold her tight and kiss her sweet mouth.
Then I stop the kiss and push her back a little. “Do you think that door locks?”
“Huh?” she asks as she looks worried. “You can’t do anything, Jude.”
“My mouth works, doesn’t it?” I say with a smile. “And this bed lays back, doesn’t it? And if that door locks, I can kiss you somewhere else so I can show you how happy you’ve made me by accepting my proposal.”
Her eyes glow as she shakes her head. “Jude that’s not fair to you.”
“I want to. Let me. Go lock that door, lose those panties and come back over here so I can show you and myself that I’m still a man who can please a woman.”
She hesitates but only for a moment then she’s flying off the bed and hurrying to the door. “Ha! There is a lock! Watch out baby. Here I come!”
Mercy
I lose more than my panties as I go back across the small hospital room to Jude. My fiancé!
His eyes go dark as I reach up under my dress and pull the pink panties off and drop the on the floor. Then I pull the dress off and finally my bra as I make my way to him. “I want to feel your strong hands all over me, Jude.”
“Damn, baby!” he groans. “You’re so fucking hot!”
As I get to him, I untie the back of his hospital gown and pull it off of him. “I want to feel your skin against mine.”
“You have me on fire, Mercy,” he says as his hands move over my bare breasts. “Your tits look more plump, I swear.” His mouth is hot as it takes one into it and his hand squeezes the other.
I climb over him, straddling him, careful to hover just above him. My sex is growing wet with excitement for his mouth to do to me what I know it can. It’s been too long since I’ve felt his mouth on my body and it’s craving to feel it.
Long, hard tugs he makes, making my stomach clench with each one. He trails his free hand down to my personal pleasure zone and finds my aching pearl and goes to work on it.
My breathing is so loud I can hear it echoing off the walls so I quiet myself. I have to be quiet or this will get interrupted and I do not want that!
When his finger goes inside me, I have to bite my lip not to scream with the feeling. I’ve wanted to feel him inside of me so badly. “Jude, yes,” I hiss as I move up and down, riding it as I hold his shoulders.
His mouth leaves my breast as he trails kisses up to my mouth then he takes my mouth with a hot kiss and runs his tongue along mine, stroking it the same way his finger is stroking me.
I move faster and faster until my body is erupting with an orgasm and he’s holding the back of my head with his free hand to keep our mouths together as I moan with the feeling.
When he pulls his finger out of me, he runs it up my body and into his mouth. “Mmm,” he moans as he looks into my eyes. “Now let me have a real taste of that sweet thing.”
My body goes hot with the way he’s looking at me. “Lie back, almost, hubby.”
I push the button to lay the bed all the way down and he smiles at me as his body goes back with it and mine stays in position over him. “You’re so damn hot, Mercy. And tomorrow you’ll be all mine. No one else can ever have you.”
I smile and nod. “I am only for you.”
His hands move up my thighs as I’m on my knees, straddling him. “Bring that sweet thing up here so I can show you why you want to be all mine.”
Moving slowly toward him, I watch him as his eyes grow dark and wanting as he looks at my sex. “Are you doing okay, baby?” I ask to be sure.
“More than okay, hurry up,” he says as he looks up at me. “My mouth is watering for you.”
I moan as his words send a new heat through me. “Damn, Jude! You’re making me super horny!”
“Good,” he says with a hiss. “I want you that way. I want you to come like crazy all over my face.”
“Jude, damn,” I moan as I get up closer and his hands grip my ass. His fingers dig into my soft flesh and he moans.
“Damn, your ass feels amazing. God damn it, girl!”
My pussy is all the way up to his face and I look down at him. “You ready?”
He licks his lips. “Are you?”
“So ready,” I whisper.
“Good, because I’m about to make your night. Don’t even think about climbing off my face with the first orgasm. I’m going to keep going until you can’t come anymore.”
“Jude, don’t over-exert yourself,” I say as I look into his lust-filled eyes.
“Mercy, shut up and sit on my face,” he says.
Well, what else can I do?
I try to go slowly down to make sure I don’t really sit on his face but he pulls me down hard. I have to put my hands on the head of the bed to hold myself up to be sure the man can breathe.
His tongue goes crazy on my clit and his mouth is ravenous on my pussy. He lifts me up and down as he sucks my clit. I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming.
“Jude, damn, that feels amazing,” I whisper. “Damn it, your mouth is insane.”
His hands squeeze my ass, sending shocks of electricity through me. I can’t take it anymore and come. My body shakes with the release that’s so much better than the orgasm his finger gave me. “Jude, God!” I whisper.
I move up a little and his tongue goes inside me. I lift my body up to stroke myself with his tongue so he doesn’t have to do all the work himself. I am feeling kind of guilty that he’s not getting anything out of this.
Up and down I go as the orgasm ebbs a little then he moves his tongue really fast back and forth as I’m moving up and down and I fall apart again. Gasping for air as my body is in Heaven.
I move down so he can breathe as I can feel him breathing hard. “What are you doing?” he says as he looks at me with a sweaty face. “I can go longer.”
“I’m sure you can. But I can’t,” I say as I move down his body.
When I get down to where our faces are close, he grabs a handful of my hair and pulls me to kiss him. As our tongues mingle again and I taste myself on him my body reignites with passion and I find my hand running between us as I have my body lifted off his so I don’t put any of my weight on him.
Over his stomach, I go to touch him. Then I feel the top of the adult diaper and he yanks me back by my hair. His eyes are dark and he looks mad. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I was going to just touch you a little. On the top where there are no stitches. Don’t worry, I’d never hurt you,” I say to try to relax him.
“No!” he says. “No, you can’t stick your hand in there. No!”
“Jude, it’ll be fine. I just want to see if it got hard or not. The doctor said you didn’t have to feel it for it to happen.”
His eyes go wide and he says, “Get off!”
I move to one side of him and he presses the button to lift the top of the bed up. We sit perfectly still as he pushes the blanket back and then he takes the top of the adult underwear and pulls it up so we can see what’s going on inside.
We look at each other and the smile on his face makes me cry.
Miracles can happen!
Jude
With the knowledge that I can get an erection, Mercy is looking at me with some worry in her expression. “Jude, should you go through with that surgery if you can manage to do this without it?”
“Fuck yes!” I say as I pull the blanket back to cover that nasty diaper. “Mercy, I want to walk again. I want to feel! You have no idea how terrible it feels to have men moving your body around because you can’t. So I am having that surgery.”
Mercy looks at me for a long time then she takes my hand and places it on her stomach. “Jude, I was going to wait to tell you this. But in light of what we know now, I want you to know everything.”
Her hand on mine, covering her stomach, has my wheels spinning. I’m completely aware that we haven’t used and type of birth control since I brought her home with me the night of the tornado. But she took a test that said she wasn’t ovulating or something like that and she said we were safe for a while.
She better not be pulling some shit on me!
“Jude, I felt sick today. It’s not the first time, either. So I decided that it would be smart to take a test. It came back positive. Now, I have no idea how far along I am or anything like that. I don’t know for a fact that the test was accurate. But we might be pregnant.” She looks at our hands covering her stomach and then I look at her to find her eyes very misty.
I’m numb. I can’t think. I really don’t know how to feel.
I may be paralyzed forever, or die on an operating table in the near future and I may have a kid coming. “How?” I ask.
She laughs then says, “Okay, Jude. When a man and woman really love each other they show that in a way that can create human life.”
“Mercy, damn it!” I can’t believe I’m yelling at her but I am.
She looks at me and frowns. “I know. This is a big deal. All of it is. I know that. It is part of the reason I didn’t come up here doing a dance and jumping for joy that you and I might have made a little human out of our love. I know this can be looked at as a blessing or another tragedy.”
“Don’t ever say that,” I tell her. “The baby is no tragedy. So don’t ever say that. Okay?” I look at her with a stern expression. “It’s not a mistake or anything like that. But it has come at a difficult time in my life. And yours.”
I run my arm around her shoulders and pull her back to lie with me on the hospital bed. “I know this isn’t how you wanted things to happen, Jude. I really do. Things have never really happened the way I wanted them to either. I never wanted to become a mother the way I did. By losing my family. I never wanted to do something to cause the man I love to become so broken. And I certainly never wanted an unplanned pregnancy. This cycle seems to be following me. I am the key at the center of this cluster-fuck tornado that is my life.”
“Don’t, Mercy,” I say as I lean my head against hers. “Don’t act like this is anything that’s your fault. It’s life and things like this happen.”
“But in my life, they happen a lot more often than in other people’s lives. I’m a jinx. I have a dark star following me or something. Maybe I should do everyone a favor and disappear.” She looks spaced out. Like she’s so far away right now.
She doesn’t look like Mercy at all!
“Never say that stupid shit again.” I kiss her cheek. “Okay, so here we have it. Tomorrow we get married here in the hospital. You need a gorgeous white dress and if you could find one of my black tux jackets and a white shirt to go under it that will suffice for me. A nice black blanket would look good to cover me for our photos, I think.”
She looks at me and I see it in her eyes. She’s thinking about the surgery and what might go wrong. “Please consider not doing the surgery. I will marry you tomorrow, anyway. But think about it long and hard before you agree to the surgery. You are alive right now and obviously more than capable of being a man.”
“But I can’t walk, Mercy. I’d like to do that and the surgery sounds like it could do that for me. Come on, baby. Be in my corner. Show me some of that faith you have. You told me that you prayed for me to make it through that crash and I did. Believe, baby.” I touch her warm cheek and graze my lips over it.
She sighs. “But maybe you were in that wreck because of my bad luck or whatever you call this. A curse is really what it is. A horrible curse.”
“You’re being crazy. I’ll be fine. I have to do it, Mercy. You know I do.” I pull her into my arms again and hold her tight. “You’re pregnant! I want to walk the floor with my little man.”
She laughs a little. “Or little girl.”
“Yeah, maybe that. Whatever that baby is, I want that kid to know they have a daddy who has the courage to do what he had to in order to be all he could be for them.”
Mercy climbs out of my arms and off the bed as she gathers her clothes. “Jude, do me a favor. Read every word on those forms. Make your own decision without me. Because I’m telling you that I can’t, in good conscience, tell you the safest or best thing is for you to go through with that surgery. I love you. I want you around to help me raise this kid. I just want you around, period.”
I watch her pick her clothes up and put them back on then she comes to me and puts the hospital gown back on me and ties it up behind my back.
I take her face and hold it in front of mine and say, “Do you want to push me in a wheelchair while poor Carter pushes our baby in a stroller? Do you want to change both mine and our baby’s diapers every few hours? Tell me how great that sounds to you, Mercy.”
Her eyes cloud over as she says, “If this was my first bout with tragedy, I’d say go for it, Jude. I would! But this isn’t my first or even second. This is our life. This is me and you and a baby and my niece and nephew we’re talking about. I can do it all on my own. I know I can. I have. But I want you there with me. I want you there every step of the way.”
“You said it yourself, Mercy. Every step of the way. So I’m getting the surgery and you will just have to pray and have faith and that’s that.”
I wish like hell she could wipe that unbelieving face away and show me that face she had when I first came to this hospital with hardly any hope at all. I need her to have faith!
Surrender Part 10
Mercy
Page by page, Jude signs them all, cementing the fact he will be getting the surgery. With each page he signs, my worry increases. I can’t think of a life without him in it.
“Stop,” he says as he glances at me. “Just stop. You’re getting all worried and I’m not even going into surgery yet. You’ll be a wreck by the time the actual surgery date comes if you keep this up.”
“I can’t,” I say then his fingers go to my lips, shushing me.
“No,” he says. “You can and you will. I want you to go home and get some rest. At eight a.m. sharp, I want you to get up and get going on our plans. Get a dress and I want it to be really gorgeous. I know it’ll have to be off the rack but make it a great one and spend lots of money on it. You have three of my cards so you better not spare any expense.”
“Jude, I shouldn’t,” I say then he pulls me in for a kiss, stopping me again.
He ends his sweet kiss and looks at me with so much love in his eyes it makes me want to cry. “Go do what I said. Get the kids something nice to wear too. I want tons of pictures with us all and I want everyone to look fantastic. Get your hair and makeup done and come back here when you’re ready and we’ll do this thing.”
I don’t know what to say to him. So I don’t say anything. I just nod and climb off the bed and grab my purse and head toward the door. Then I stop and turn back to see him still signing papers. “Goodnight, Jude. I love you.”
“I love you too. Go get some rest. Tomorrow you and I are tying the knot and I want that worried, doubt-filled expression you’re wearing, completely gone. Got it?”
I nod and turn to leave the room. I wish he could see inside my head and feel how heavy my heart is. I wish he could understand how much has gone wrong in my life and know that just him being alive is enough for me.
A woman’s voice stops me in the darkened hallway. “He’s up for that surgery with Doctor Padron.”
I lean against the wall to listen as I know she has to be talking about Jude. Another woman says, “He should definitely do it. I know the risks are huge but he’s young and has a lot of life in front of him. Being a paraplegic has more problems that go along with it than just the inability to walk. All kinds of health problems come along with it.”
“I know that,” the other woman says. “But the risk of death is worse than that. In my opinion.”
“What about the fact that being a paraplegic most definitely will limit his lifespan and his quality of life? My uncle completely lost his legs in the war and he had one ailment after another. He was miserable. When he passed away at forty-five from pneumonia, his wife was sorry he was gone but happy he was no longer miserable.”
I lean back on the wall and press my cheek against its cool surface and know in my heart she’s right. So I turn and go back into Jude’s room. “I’m on board with you, Jude. I’ll be in your corner through this whole thing. No matter what happens, I want you to know that I am on your side.”
I watch his eyes turn glassy and he puts the clipboard down then holds his arms open. Moving into them, we hug and I know there’s a huge risk but I’m going to put fear and worry behind me and only allow faith and hope in my head.
“It’s good to hear you say that,” he tells me as he lets me go and runs his hand through my hair. “I know I’ve only been in this condition for a week but it’s been one horrible week.”
“I know,” I say and try hard to put my worries away but it’s not easy. “I mean I have no idea how it must feel to be so helpless but I know it has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.”
“I’m glad you’re starting to understand, Mercy. The risk is worth it to me.”
The word, risk, is a word I don’t like very much. I don’t like taking risks. I never have. But I guess I’m learning that when you get involved with someone, everything becomes a risk.
There’s always a risk that one day they will simply be gone. I know that better than most people do. Just like in the matter of a few minutes I found out I just might be bringing another life into the world, someone else might have been finding out someone they love just left it.
Running my fingers through his dark hair, I say, “Jude, you’re teaching me so much more about life. You’ve been a Godsend in more ways than one. So I’m going to go home and get some rest and wake up in the morning and get myself ready to become your wife.”
His smile makes my heart pound as it’s a thing I haven’t seen much of this last week. “Good. Go home. Sleep.”
As I turn to walk away from him, he slaps my ass and I laugh. “Bad boy.”
Walking back out into the hallway, I make my way down it once more. As I pass the nurse’s station I see Jude’s night nurse. “He’s got those papers signed,” I let her know.
“So he’s going to get the surgery?” she asks.
“He is,” I say then walk away.
“Mercy,” she calls out to me. “I know it’s scary but I think he can make it.”
I turn back and smile. “I hope he can.”
She nods and I turn to walk away. The fact is life hangs in the balance most of the time. Little things here and there can happen to change it all in the blink of an eye. So I have to accept it and move on.
But I’m praying with everything in me that my bad luck, or whatever this is that has tragedy following me around, doesn’t affect Jude and his outcome.
“Walk you to your car, ma’am?” the security guard at the entrance asks me. “It’s pretty late.”
“That would be nice of you,” I say and walk out of the door he’s opened for me. “I’ve never stayed here this late before. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.”
He walks next to me, and I notice he keeps looking around the parking lot that’s not completely empty but only a few cars are still in it. “You have someone here in bad condition?”
“My fiancé,” I say and hold up my hand and wiggle my new ring. “He asked me to marry him tonight.”
“That’s some rock. He must be loaded,” he says and smiles.
He has a crooked smile. Looking at him, I can sense that he’s a sweet young man. “He is. How old are you?” I ask him.
“I just turned twenty-five last week. Why do you ask that?”
I unlock the car using my key fob and answer him, “I have this girl who could use a nice man in her life. You seem very nice and protective. She needs a man like that.”
“What’s wrong with her?” he asks as he opens the car door for me and makes sure to look inside of it.
“Nothing, she’s just a poor judge of character. I don’t suppose you’re available.”
As I slide into the car he smiles at me. “I might be. What’s this woman look like?”
“I tell you what.” I look at his security badge and read his name. “Mr. Crosby, I’ll be getting married in room number 553 tomorrow evening. I’d like to invite you to join us there and you can check her out for yourself. She’ll be the only single lady there.”
“I might just do that,” he says then gives me a wink. “Will there be cake?”
“Of course,” I say. “What’s a wedding without cake?”
He extends his hand and I shake it. “Names, Randy. And what might yours be?”
“I’m Mercy and the young lady’s name is Rose. If you forget the room number all you have to do is ask for Jude Hurst’s room and they’ll get you there.” I start the car and he closes the door so I roll my window down. “See you tomorrow, Randy.”
“I think you just might,” he says with a smile. “I never pass up cake.”
With a laugh, I roll the window up and smile to myself. Maybe Rose can find a nice man with a tiny bit of help from me.
Jude
“Mom, you are a miracle worker,” I tell her as she’s managed to get everything lined out for Mercy and me to get married this evening.
“I have Judge Clancy bringing the marriage license up with her and she’ll just need your signatures on it. Then that Pastor can do the ceremony and you two will be officially, legally wed.” Mom kisses my cheek as a nurse comes in with a smile on her face.
“I hear we’re losing another bachelor today,” she says as she comes toward me with a thermometer.
“You are,” I say then she places the thing into my mouth like she’s done every day for the last week.
A beeping sound has her frowning and pulling the thing out of my mouth. “Uh oh.”
“Uh, oh?” I ask.
“Let’s be sure this is right,” she says then puts another sleeve over it and places it back into my mouth.
When it beeps again, her frown makes the grooves on either side of her mouth deepen. Mom looks over the nurse’s shoulder and reads the thermometer too. “Jude, you have a fever,” she says, now wearing a frown too. “Do you feel bad?”
I haven’t felt good since I woke up here,” I tell her. “How high is it?”
The nurse shakes her head. “Not too high. One hundred right now. But this means we need to have a doctor come in and check you all out. Sorry.”
Dad comes into the room with a tray of coffees and sees Mom sitting on the edge of the bed with her hand on my forehead. “What’s this about?” he asks as he sits the tray on the small table.
“Your son has a fever,” Mom says as she looks at me. “Stick out your tongue.” I do as she says and she peers into my mouth. “Your throat’s not red. Hmm.”
“The doctor will figure it out, Mom. I am in the hospital you know.” I laugh and lie my head back. “I have felt kind of light-headed today. I thought it might be from how excited I’m feeling about getting married today.”
After a few minutes, some female doctor comes into my room and says, “I’m Doctor Sweeny here to examine you, Mr. Hurst.” She eyes my parents then me. “I have to do a thorough examination. Would you prefer for them to step out?”
“Yes,” I say quickly. “Bye guys. Do me a favor and don’t call Mercy and tell her about this. She’ll stop what she’s doing to haul ass down here and I don’t want that.”
They nod and leave and I watch the young woman as she pulls out a small light and shines it into my eyes. “I read your file and it looks like you’re being placed in line for the operating room for the day after tomorrow. If you have any fever at all, that surgery will be postponed.”
“Okay,” I say and she places a tongue depressor in my mouth and shines the small light down my throat.
“Nothing there.” She gets out a slender silver cylinder from her pocket and then looks into my ears. “Ears are clear.”
With one hand, she tosses back the blanket and pushes my hospital gown up then rips the side of the adult diaper then the other side as well and lays it out. I find myself feeling warm with embarrassment and say, “It’s so not cool to have to wear a diaper.”
“No it’s not cool,” she agrees. “But it is better than a catheter. And have you been touching yourself, Mr. Hurst?”
“No!” I say with surprise she’d ask me such a thing.
Her light blue eyes look into mine with a no-nonsense expression. “Someone has.”
I shake my head. “No, mam.”
“I’ll be right back. I have to go get a kit and bandage this back up since you broke the stitches,” she says as she turns away from me.
“The stitches are broken? Where?” I ask.
She opens a drawer and pulls out gauze and medical tape and turns back to me. “Your penis. So you want to tell me who was messing with you in that particular area? If it was a nurse, I have to know that.”
“It wasn’t a nurse and it wasn’t messed with,” I tell her. “Not exactly.”
“What exactly happened?” she asks as she runs an alcohol soaked cotton ball all over my dick as I watch her and find my cheeks heating with embarrassment. “My, fiancé and I made out a little and my penis got hard.”
She shakes her head and the little dark bun of her pulled back hair wobbles. “Didn’t the urologist tell you that there is to be no kind of sexual stimulation until your wounds have healed? That means the stitches are no longer visible.”
“He did,” I say as I look away and hate that this happened. I had big plans for tonight. “I’m getting married a little later and I was hoping for a repeat of last night.”
“Well, I’m afraid you’d be a fool to do that again. You see the blood flow to this area is limited because of the crushed bones in your pelvic area and your back. Your white cells have already begun to fill in the open areas and you’re now leaking them in the form of pus.”
“Sick!” I say as I groan with the thought. “Man, yuk!”
“Yes, yuck,” she agrees. “Now, if you don’t follow your doctor’s orders, you can expect delay after delay in your recovery. So this is very important. No messing around. No stimulation of any kind. Get it?”
“Yeah, I get it,” I whine. “What a crappy wedding night I’m going to have.”
“Be glad you’re having one at all, Mr. Hurst. From what I heard about your condition when you arrived, you’re lucky to be alive at all.”
She’s right about that and I’m a dumb ass for forgetting about that all the time.
Mercy
In an empty hospital room down the hall from Jude, I’ve gotten a white wedding dress on and Rose took the kids to the room already. Everyone is waiting for my arrival so the ceremony can begin and I’m shaking as I take one last look in the mirror and have to admit that the hairdresser and the makeup artist have made me the best possible version of myself.
As I walk out of the room, I’m met with some ooh’s and aah’s as the nursing staff gazes my way. And, as if on cue, the handsome young security guard, Randy, is walking this way.
His eyes roam over me and he gives a wolf-whistle. “Hey there, sexy lady, you need a lift to your big date?” He comes to me and holds out his arm and I slip my hand into the crook of it.
“That would be greatly appreciated, Randy. And the uniform makes me feel like royalty.” I find a smile plastered on my lips as we walk down the hallway.
One of the nurses grabs her cell phone and attaches a speaker to it and begins playing the wedding march as she follows us down the hallway. I look over my shoulder at her. “Thank you. You all are so sweet.”
“Hold up!” A nurse shouts and we stop and watch two of them run around us. The taller of the two gives me a wink and a smile. “You have to have some bridesmaids. And we have these extra flowers from the ICU ward where they’re strictly prohibited.”
The other older woman, who is now my bridesmaid says, “So, at least, they won’t be wasted.”
“Thank you both,” I say as I beam at them. “You don’t know how much I appreciate all of this.”
Randy starts walking again. “So, here we go. Your official wedding procession.”
Just as we get near the door, the wedding march ends and the nurse behind me says, “Wait! Let me start it over and I’ll cut it off once you get to his side, Mercy.”
So we stop and wait for her to get it going again and then continue on our way to make me Mrs. Jude Hurst. One of my bridesmaid nurses opens the door to Jude’s room and they go in then Randy takes me in and I see Jude’s family and find Jude looking completely gorgeous in his black tux top and black blanket bottom.
He can only look at me and his jaw is unhinged. Then he mouths, “Mercy!”
I know I’m blushing as my face heats up. Randy walks me to the right side of the bed and Rose steps in on the other side of me and whispers, “I have the ring you’re going to give him.”
I give Randy a nod to gesture he might want to stand on the other side of her which he does with a huge smile on his handsome face. I also notice that Rose cuts her eyes sideways to check him out.
I might have just become cupid!
I hand my bouquet to Rose and take Jude’s outstretched hand. All I can see is him as the pastor starts the ceremony. I suppose he says the normal things. I have no idea, really as I look at the man who is about to be my husband.
All I can think about is how we’ve come to be here. In a hospital with our family around us and a few of the people who’ve taken such great care of him. I think about the baby who’s presently in my tummy and wonder what kind of kid we’ve created with our love.
He looks so deep into my eyes I wonder if he’s reading my mind. Then I see his lips move and the words, “I do.” Come out of them.
So I stop spacing out and start listening as it’s about to be my turn to say those words. The Pastor asks me if I promise to love this man and I agree to. He asks if I will honor this man and I agree to that too. He asks me all of the questions there are to answer when you want to join your lives together. I agree to them all and then he tells to put the rings on each other’s fingers and we do then he tells us that we can kiss.
Jude’s eyes as so sparkly as his hands go to either side of my face and he pulls me in for a sweet kiss, no tongue, but still pretty fantastic. Then all I can hear is cheering and a couple of little kids are hugging my legs.
Jude’s lips touch my ear and he whispers. “The next ceremony will be when you and I officially adopt the kids.”
I look at him with tear-filled eyes and throw my arms around his neck and whisper back, “You are the best man in the world, Jude Hurst!”
I don’t recall a time when my heart felt as full as it does now. And this is only the beginning. We have more and more that needs to fit into this heart of mine and I just know it will continue to grow so it can fill even more.
Champagne is popped and fizzy glasses are poured. Jude gets some sparkling white grape juice and I join him in drinking that bottle. No one knows our little secret yet and we’re not going to tell that bit of news until I’ve seen a doctor.
As I sit next to him on the bed and we gaze into each other’s eyes his mother comes up to congratulate us. “You two look great. So happy. The fever reducer worked on you just fine, Jude. You look like you’re feeling fine now.”
“Fever reducer?” I ask as I look at Loretta.
“Never mind,” Jude says a little too quickly. “That dress is amazing. I can’t believe you found something so beautiful that quickly and off the rack.”
“Well, it didn’t come off the rack. It was my sister’s and it cost our parents five thousand dollars so I went back to my house and got it out of what was once her closet. We’re the same size, so it all worked out.” I lean in close and whisper, “I knew it would fit. I’ve drank some wine from time to time after the kids went to bed and tried it on.”
He laughs and then I recall the mention of fever and place my hand on his forehead. “Don’t, Mercy.”
I pull it away but only because it’s cool. “You had a fever earlier?”
He nods. “Let’s not talk about that. They gave me pills, I’m better, end of story. So that hair is completely gorgeous. So many beautiful pins and curls, it’s amazing!”
“I got a picture off of Pinterest and showed it to the stylist and she was able to recreate it for me. It is pretty, isn’t it?” I tilt my head so he can see it all. “Don’t touch it, though. It’s stiff as a board. I’m a bit worried about washing it later. I bet I’ll have to let the shampoo sit for a while to break down all the stiff hairspray. And I don’t even want to think about all the makeup wipes I’ll have to use to get this goop off of my face.”
With a chuckle, he kisses my cheek. “You look like a movie star. Thank you, Mercy. Thank you for doing all of this for me. I mean it.”
And with his simple little words, he’s made all the trouble and effort I went through to get this all done worth it.
Appreciation goes a hell of a long way!
Jude
With the deed done and the congratulations said, our wedding guests are taking off a couple at a time and I notice my sister talking to the security guard who walked Mercy to my side. “Who is that guy, Mercy?”
“Oh him?” she asks with a grin. “I met him last night. He walked me out to the car and I thought he was nice and might make Rose a better love interest than her usual suspects.”
“So I’ve married a matchmaker, have I?” I ask her with a laugh.
The festivities come to an end as Doctor Sweeny enters the room with her usual stoic slash intimidating expression and she’s got those steely eyes trained on the woman sitting on the bed next to me. “Mrs. Hurst?” she asks as she walks straight up to Mercy.
“Now I am, yes,” Mercy answers.
“I need a word with you,” she says and looks around the room at the last of the guests. “The rest of you need to leave. This man needs his rest.”
Mercy cuts her eyes at Rose. “Rose, can you take the kids out and wait for me?”
Rose nods and she and the security guard take the kids and leave the room. I wait for them to get out before I say, “Look, I’ll talk to her about it, doc.”
“Talk to me about what?” Mercy asks with a frown.
“About your make-out session last night and how it set him back several days in his recovery process and could’ve even been worse,” the doctor tells her.
“What happened?” Mercy asks and gives me a little shove. “You should’ve told me about this, Jude.”
“Mercy, come on! There was a room full of people. It wasn’t the right time to bring this up.”
“Well, I want to talk to her, anyway,” the good doctor says as her hands go to her hips. “Being that you two just got married, I feel compelled to educate you on your husband’s condition. That little erection he got last night ripped some of the stitches on the underside of his penis. It’s imperative for his recovery for you not to induce such things.”
Mercy looks at me and her lips form a straight line as she hisses at me, “Damn it, Jude. I told you so.”
“I know,” I say and look at the doctor. “That was really all my idea. She wasn’t the one starting anything. And now that I know what can happen, I’m not about to go trying to get excited again until I’m healed.”
The doctor focuses on Mercy once again as she says, “I need to hear it from her.”
Mercy laughs a little. “I won’t be trying to excite him either.”
“Okay, because I don’t know you but I know this man has a ton of money and you just married him right before he’s to go into a dangerous surgery and I have no idea of you love this man or want him to die so you can end up with his money,” the doctor says, making both, Mercy and my jaws drop.
Before I can say a word, Mercy gets off the bed and throws her arms around the young woman who seems to think I need her to guard me for some reason. “Oh my God! Thank you,” Mercy says then stops hugging the woman who looks as if she hasn’t been the recipient of very many of them as she’s as stiff as a board. “Thank you for really looking out for him. That means so much to me. And I love this guy with everything in me. We haven’t told anyone as I haven’t gone to the doctor yet, but I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I want this man alive and well. But thank you for caring enough to tell me what you did.”
I look at the doctor who is still wearing a stoic face. “She handled that a lot better than I thought she would,” I tell her. “So, we’re all good here.”
The doctor nods and spins around and now I can see she was nervous about the whole thing as she stumbles a little. “Okay, see you in the morning to examine you again, Mr. Hurst.”
“In the a.m. doc. Goodnight,” I say and take Mercy by the hand and pull her back to sit next to me. “So, that was weird.”
Mercy’s eyes are shimmering and she dabs underneath them with her fingers. “That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”
I pull her in for a hug and say, “I think those pregnancy hormones are already kicking in. I thought you’d be mad for her talking like that.”
“No, she cares and that’s a relief. I want all of the doctors and nurses to care that much,” she says with a little whimper. “And now I’m going to get the kids so they can tell you goodnight and we’ll go home and let you rest. It’s been a long day and you apparently weren’t feeling well.”
“I keep telling everyone that I haven’t felt well since I woke up here but no one seems to get that,” I say as she walks out and waves then comes right back in.
Carter and Mia come running into the room. “Tell, Uncle Jude, goodnight, kids.” Mercy picks up Mia so she can reach me and she gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“Goodnight, Mia.”
“Night, Unkie Jude.”
As I run my hand through her perfectly coiffed, blonde locks which are usually on the unruly side, I think about the day when we adopt her and make her our first Hurst daughter.
Mercy puts her down and Carter gives me a salute. “Goodnight, sir,” he says then laughs. “Me and my friends were pretending we’re in the army. That’s how we say hello and goodbye now.”
So I give him a salute back. “Goodnight to you too, sir.”
And that little man will be our first Hurst son. Our oldest child and my heart swells with love for my little family. Mercy kisses me on the forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning after I drop the kids off at daycare.”
“Mercy, about that. About help with the kids. How about we hire Becky as our full-time, live-in, nanny?” I ask.
The kids’ faces light up and they both jump up and down. “Yes!”
Mercy looks at them and then me. “I’ll ask Becky what she thinks about that.”
“Make sure you tell her a safe car comes along with that to cart the kids around when necessary. And tell her she’ll have every other weekend off. We won’t monopolize her time.”
“I’m sure she’ll like that.” Mercy kisses my lips only for a moment then they’re gone and I feel the absence of them already. The room is quiet and I feel lonely.
For the first time since I’ve been here, I feel lonely. I wish I was going home too and spending the night in bed with my wife. But that day will come soon.
Please let that day come soon!
Mercy
In the small waiting room, we all wait for news of how the surgery has gone. We had an update a little while ago and the nurse said Jude was doing well. The surgery was pushed back three days after he spent two of them with fever. But once the small infection cleared, he was fever free and eligible for the surgery once more.
Rose and I are sitting in a corner, looking at the pictures on her phone of our little wedding and laughing at some of the sillier ones. We look up as we hear a man’s voice say, “I wanted to be the first to tell you,” Randy walks in and says as he looks at Rose. “He’s in recovery. He looks great.”
Rose gets up and goes to hug him. The two have been inseparable since they met at our wedding and I have to say my matchmaking skills rival those of the best. I get up to hug Loretta as Doctor Padron comes into the room.
We all look at him as he smiles at us. “It went better than I even expected it to. I was worried about all that time in bed affecting his muscles and I have to say if it did, I sure as hell couldn’t tell. That man is in perfect shape. I don’t know how he did it, but he needs to patent his workout and diet.”
I laugh. “He pretty much is going to do that, doc! So he might walk again?”
He nods. “The odds are in his favor now with the repairs I made and the new bones I put in to replace the damaged ones. His recovery time is around three months, give or take. In my opinion, with his determined spirit, it will be less than that.”
I fall back into the chair and let out a sigh of relief. This is the first good news we’ve had since the accident. I needed this little pick me up. “When can I see him?”
He wiggles his finger at me. “Right now, Mrs. Hurst. You’re his wife, you can come see him in recovery. Your face can be the first one he sees when he wakes up.”
I jump up and go to the waiting doctor. “Well, what are we waiting for? Come on, doc!”
Going with him down the different hallways I find myself giddy with emotion. “You know, Jude told me that you went to the doctor yesterday and got the news that you two are having a baby.”
“He told you?” I ask as he takes another hallway to the left and I’m now completely lost. “He told me not to tell anyone until tomorrow.”
“Well, he told me right before we put him under. He said if he didn’t make it he wanted us to know he was having a baby and he felt he’d accomplished at least one good thing in his life.”
I get a little choked up as I think about my Jude, lying there on an operating table and thinking he might not make it through the surgery. “That man.”
Finally, we get to a door that says recovery on it and he opens the door. “This is Mrs. Hurst, Bonnie.”
The older woman gives me a nod as she runs a wet cloth over his forehead. “Good, maybe he’ll wake up for you.” She hands me the cloth. “Run it all over him and call for him to wake up.”
I look back the doctor. “Thank you for everything, doc.” Then I turn back to Jude and wipe the cool cloth over his cheeks.
He looks pale compared to his normal tanned skin. But he’s been inside for quite some time now and with more surgery and blood loss, I guess it’s pretty normal. “Jude, honey, it’s time to wake up.”
His hand moves to touch my arm and he holds it with a weak grip then his dark eyes flutter open and he’s looking at me. “How did it go?” he croaks with a scratchy voice.
“It went better than the doctor expected. He said your recovery time is around three months.”
His smile is weak but he looks a thousand percent happier than I’ve seen him since his accident. Even happier than on our wedding day.
“Good. I had a dream, Mercy. I had a dream that we had five kids, including Carter and Mia. I had a dream we lived in a beautiful home,” he whispers to me, then his eyes close again.
“He needs to stay awake,” the nurse tells me.
So I try to keep him talking. “And what kinds of kids were they? Boys, girls, a mixture of them all?”
I touch his cheek with the cloth and his eyes open again. “Uh, uh. You have to be surprised.”
“Come on,” I say with a smile. “Did we have any pets?”
“There was a bird,” he says and he looks past me like he can see something behind me. “Hey, is that her?”
“What?” I look back and see no one there. “Is who her and who is her?”
“I think that’s your sister, Mercy. She’s nodding her head. Her hair is blonde but her eyes aren’t blue like yours, they’re green like Carter’s.”
I look back again and feel no presence at all. Then I look back at him. “You’re right.”
“She’s mouthing, thank you, to me.” He blinks and smiles. “You’re welcome, Hope. I promise to always take excellent care of them all for you. I’ll never let them forget you guys.”
I look back again. “Me too, Hope. Even though I can’t see you. Which isn’t fair in the least, may I add.”
“It’s the drugs, baby,” Jude says, making me turn back to look at him. “She’s gone.”
I run my hand through his hair and kiss his forehead. “The drugs, huh?”
“Yeah, these are some good drugs. I don’t feel anything but in a good way this time. And when I get all the way better you had better watch out for me.” His hand moves slowly up my arm and then it’s resting on my breast. “Because I’m going to make up for lost time, over and over.”
“Shush, Jude!” I say as I blush. “There’s a nurse in here.”
The older woman laughs. “I think it’s sweet.”
I lean over and kiss his lips. “Okay, we can talk about that much later in your recovery.”
“I get it,” he mumbles. “You’re afraid of that little doctor Sweeny getting all over our asses again, huh? Don’t worry about her. I’ll protect you.”
I look at the nurse. “He sounds like he’s drunk.”
She nods. “You wouldn’t believe some of the things people say when they’re coming out from the effects of the anesthesia. It’s hilarious.”
“All I know is, I can’t wait to get this man home where he belongs.”
“And in our bed. Right, baby?” he asks as he pulls at a lock of my hair.
Oh Lord, how am I going to keep him calm with this attitude?
Jude
Standing in front of the judge, Mercy, Mia, Carter, and I become a legal family under one name. “I know pronounce you, the Hurst family,” the judge says.
Carter asks, “So now my name is Carter Hurst?”
The judge nods at him. “How do you like that?”
“I like it just fine,” he says with a smile and he turns to me and holds his hand up for a high-five which I give him. “So can I call you Dad, now?”
“You better call me that, buddy,” I say as I pat him on the back. “I’m your Dad now.”
Mercy picks Mia up and straddles her over her large baby bump. “You can call me Mom now Mia. If you want to.”
Mia takes Mercy’s face between her palms and places a kiss on the tip of her nose. “I do, Momma.”
That little girl has never been able to call anyone that before and it stirs my heart. I just might cry. But men don’t cry in my family so I sniffle and shake away the tears. “See you, Judge. I’m taking my family for pizza.”
Carter jumps up and down as he walks out ahead of us and Mercy puts Mia down to join him in his jumping as they shout, “Pizza, yes!”
I put my arm around her as we follow them out and whisper in her ear, “I love you, Mrs. Hurst.”
Her hand flows over my cheek. “I love you too, Mr. Hurst. We’re a real family now, aren’t we?”
I nod. “We always were but now it’s official.”
She runs her hand over her stomach. “And in about a week, we’ll have this little guy to add to us all.”
Our son will be born soon and then things will really be flowing with us. It’s hard to believe that less than a year ago I had no hope of ever walking again much less having an entire family of my own.
Mercy won’t let me talk openly about things like her days of tragedy being behind us all but I do think that’s the case. We’ve only had blue skies since my surgery to regain mobility and feelings. Which went better than the doctor ever expected it to.
I feel almost like the man I was before the accident. Thanks to his special work on my broken body and my continuous work on keeping it strong and healthy.
It seemed like forever until I could take those first steps but once I managed that, the rest went pretty quickly. And as we get out to the parking lot and we each grab a kid’s hand, Mercy and I look at each other and all we can do is smile.
All those little things that make people aggravated each day, roll off us like water off a duck’s back. We don’t sweat the little things. Not one bit. When you know you’ve come to the edge and made it back, it makes you see life in a whole new light.
As I buckle Carter into his car seat, I say, “How about you join me later to go fishing at the pond this evening. If you catch a fish, I’ll teach you how to clean it and Mom can teach you how to cook it.”
He holds up his little hand and I give him another high-five. “Cool, Dad,” he says with a laugh. “That feels funny calling you that. But don’t worry, Dad, I’ll get used to it. Dad!”
Mia laughs and kisses her hand then throws it at me. “Dad, wuv you!”
I’m having to fight back the tears.
Man, these kids are making it rough on me today!
So I mess up Carter’s hair and throw a kiss back to Mia and climb into the driver’s seat of the new Range Rover I bought to replace the Jag. I figured something a little more family oriented would be better than another speedy car.
Mercy takes my hand once I get going on the road and holds it on the armrest between us. She smiles at me. “Dad, looks like we have a pretty great day ahead of us, doesn’t it?”
“Why, yes it does, Momma,” I say and pull her hand up to give it a kiss.
Carter asks, “Can we name the baby, Rock?”
Mercy laughs. “No, Carter. We’re naming him Stanley after my father.”
I watch Mia in the backseat as she crinkles up her nose. “That name’s not good. Not at all. I don’t want to call the baby, Stanley.”
Carter nods. “Come on! Let’s name him, Rock. I think that name sounds cool.”
“I don’t want him to be cool. I want him to be my little man,” Mercy says as she turns to look back at the kids to try to explain to them for the one thousandth time why she’s insisting on that awful name. “Cool is not a thing I want any of you kids to be. Forget cool. Just be good and nice and kind.”
Mia giggles. “You can be all of those things and still be cool. And I don’t want to call my new baby brother, Rock, either. I want to call him Paco.”
I have to interject because it’s obvious all of these people are related and have terrible ideas of what a person’s name should be. “How about I get to name this one? And maybe if you guys can learn anything about picking out good names, one of you can name the next one.”
“So, what name do you like, Dad?” Carter asks then laughs again. “Dad, that’s still weird. But anyway, Dad, what name do you like?”
Mercy’s forehead is creased as I think she’s not super happy with my idea. But I kind of hate the name Stanley too so someone has to step in and save this kid. “I would like to name him Rogan.” I wait and let the name sink into their brains for a moment.
“Rogan,” Mia says.
Carter echoes her, “Rogan.”
Then Mercy, the person I’m most worried about, looks out the window for a second then whispers, “Rogan.”
“So, what do you think?” I ask as I tug at her hand.
She looks back at me. “You know I hate to let you have your way all of the time, Jude. I don’t know how come you are so easy to spoil and give you everything you want. But, damn it! I like it. Rogan, it is then.”
I don’t know why it’s so easy for me to get my way either but I’m not trying to find that out, anyway. All I know is I get to call my son Rogan, instead of Stanley and I’m damn happy about that!
As I pull into the pizza place’s parking lot, I look back at Carter. “Bet I can beat you at Skeeball, buddy.”
“Bet you can’t!” he says as he holds up his little fist. “Cause I am the champion of that game, Dad!”
I know it sounds crazy but hearing that little guy calling me that just sends sparks of love all through me. And all I can think about is how lucky I am.
I’m so glad I took that horrible bitch to the spa that day!
Mercy
Getting out of the bathtub after a nice, long, hot soak as Jude puts the kids to bed, I find myself a little nervous about tonight. The baby turned six weeks old today and my doctor officially released me and I can get back into physical action with Jude.
I know we had a much longer time of no sex while he recuperated after his surgery but this time, it’s me who’s been through a body altering experience. I have a host of stretchmarks on my stomach and it’s a little saggy still. My boobs are pretty full of milk and I don’t know how that’s going to go.
But I pull on my robe and go out into our bedroom and find my husband lying naked on our bed. He turns to one side and watches me as I come out. “Lose the robe.”
I knew he was going to say that. I’ve been kind of keeping myself covered at all times since the delivery. My new body needs a major overhaul and now that the doctor has released me, Jude is planning how he’s going to work me out to help me regain my former body.
“Jude,” I whine.
He shakes his head. “Lose it.”
I do as he says and drop the robe on the floor and he smiles. “Don’t.”
“I can smile if I want to, Mercy. You look so gorgeous. Come here.”
I walk slowly toward him, not feeling one bit sexy. “Don’t expect a miracle. I feel like a deflated balloon.”
“I can fix that,” he says as I get to the edge of the bed and he reaches out for my hand and pulls me down to lie next to him, facing him. His finger trails over my lips then he kisses them.
Soft, sweet, and gentle, he kisses me as his hand moves over my back and down to my ass where he takes a handful of it and massages it. I move my arm around him and feel his tight muscles.
I wiggle my body closer to him until we’re touching. My breasts are pressed against his chest and the nipples are growing hard and starting to get a buzzy feeling around them.
Jude’s heart starts pounding so hard I can feel it and his kiss changes as his tongue moves into my mouth and strokes mine. His hand on my ass grips harder and I feel his cock going hard between us.
He flips me onto my back and hovers over me, pulling his mouth off mine. “You let me know if anything hurts you, baby. I’m going to go down south and get you fired up and ready to reintroduce you to my most favorite part of my anatomy.”
I giggle at him as he moves down my body. Kissing along my stomach as he goes. He takes my legs and pulls them up to bend my knees. My body is already quivering with anticipation.
He looks at me as he presses his lips to my little pearl and I hiss with how good it feels. He smiles and licks it as he continues to watch my response. “You like that, don’t you?”
I run my hands down to run them through his hair. “You know I do.”
He kisses it again then he turns all of his attention to what he’s doing and takes me into another world. My moan is continuous as the wet heat of his mouth sends me into a frenzy of nearly forgotten feelings.
I feel his hand moving over my leg then his finger is circling my opening and I get an ache to feel it inside of me. As he slips it in, I let out a sigh of sweet relief, “Yes.”
He moans and it vibrates my clit and sends a jolt of pure joy through me. His mouth grows hotter as he licks me over and over until I’m a quivering mess who can only shriek his name again and again until I can’t take it anymore and yank his hair to make him come up.
Moving up my body, he looks at me like a wolf who’s come after a sheep and is about to eat it all up. His mouth is shiny with moisture and he moves right on up and kisses me with my taste in his mouth and I feel his hard cock on the edge of me.
Slowly, he moves it into me and I groan with the feeling. My body remembers him and stretches to conform to him again. I feel the heat as the delicate tissues move to accommodate his massive organ and I can’t stop groaning.
Once he’s all the way in up to the hilt, he pulls his mouth away from mine. “Is it all good, baby?”
“Better than good, Jude. Show me what I’ve been missing these last six weeks.”
He makes one long stroke and my stomach tightens. I trail my fingers over his back as he makes another and another then he leans back against me and kisses my neck, sending me into oblivion. I moan and arch up to meet his strokes that are getting faster and harder. My breasts are smashed between us and I feel a sudden wetness.
He doesn’t stop stroking me as he pulls his upper body back and looks down to see what the hell is going on. “You’re kind of leaking there, Mercy.”
“Oh, God!” I shout. “I’m sorry!”
He just laughs a little and leans back down on me and starts rubbing his body up and down mine as he continues his hard and fast strokes. “Don’t be. This feels awesome!”
It feels great to me. My tits are hard and tingling and so is my personal pleasure zone. And if he’s not grossed out by having my milk all over his chest then we have no problem here.
His movements get more frenzied as he lets out an animal-like growl as he goes faster and deeper. Then my body goes over the edge of the cliff and I’m shrieking with the orgasm he’s created inside of me.
My nails sink into the hot flesh of his back as I wrap my legs around him to hold him to me. He moves in and out of me faster and faster, then he goes stiff and I can feel the heat I love to feel so much as it fills me.
He leans on me and I haven’t felt that comfortable weight for what seems like forever. His mouth is hot on my neck as we breathe heavy and hard. “I love you, Mercy.”
“I love you, too. That was awesome. I missed you.”
He trails little kisses along my neck and over my cheek until he finds my lips. “I missed you too.” He rolls off me. “I’m squishing you.”
I roll to face him. “I like the way you squish me.” I kiss his lips again and love the way I feel all wet and hot and kind of sticky. “I think a shower is in order. I can’t believe I oozed milk all over us.”
His hand moves up and down my arm as he looks at me. “I think it’s cool.” Then he rolls away and gets up then comes around the side of the bed and grabs me up in his strong arms. “And now I’ll give you a nice long shower to get rid of the stickiness.”
I gaze at his handsome face as he carries me. A thing I was never sure he’d be able to do again. “I’m glad you hunted me down, Jude.”
“Me too,” he says then kisses me. “You’re the best trophy ever.”
I think he is!
Jude
“You see that footprint right there, Carter?” I ask him as we walk through the woods to our hunting blind.
“Coyote?” he asks.
“Good job, buddy. Do you have the new camera I bought you in that backpack full of snacks you brought with you?” I ask him as we start walking again.
“I sure do. I hope to add some new animals to my collection today. When do you think we’ll see one of those jack-a-lopes, Uncle Ram told me about?” he asks as he steps over a fallen tree.
“I’m afraid your uncle was kidding you about that. Those aren’t real,” I tell him as I chuckle.
“He showed me a picture,” the little six-year-old tells me as he looks at me from underneath his orange hunting cap.
“Some people put little deer horns on stuffed jack rabbits. That’s how he showed you a picture. I’m not about to start lying to you about anything, Carter. But your Uncle Ram’s just pulling your leg, son.”
“Well how about me and you get a picture of something and add some things to it and pull his leg right back?” he asks with a grin on his little face.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about. I saw a fish one time that had the bottom half of it covered in hair. That had to be a joke,” I say as we get to our hunting blind and I help him climb up to the long seat that’s up in a tall tree.
“I like it up here, Dad,” he says as he climbs up and gets all settled in.
I pull the safety bar up in front of us and settle in for our front-row seat to nature’s movie studio for the next few hours. “I like it up here too, Carter. My grandfather and I would sit up here almost every morning and every evening during hunting season when I was a kid.”
“Yeah, but you actually shot the animals with a gun, Dad.” He looks at me and shakes his head. “You said I can’t have a gun yet.”
“You’re a bit on the young and small side yet, son. Learn how to shoot them with a camera and later on when you’re old enough to make your own decision about actually shooting them then we’ll talk about getting you a gun and teaching you how to shoot. It might not be a thing you want to do.”
He nods and points to a squirrel at the bottom of our tree. “You think he’ll come up here?”
“No,” I say and point to a hole in the bottom. “I think he’ll go into that hole. I bet that’s his home.”
We sit and watch the little animal scurry around for a while then he slips into that hole and Carter seems amazed. “How did you know that?”
“When you spend a lot of time in the woods, you learn things. So how was school today?” I ask him as we settle back and look up into the tree above us. The sun’s light is filtered through the already sparse leaves as fall is setting in well and most of the leaves have fallen off the branches.
“It was okay,” he says then he bumps his shoulder to mine. “I think this girl likes me. Her name is Trudy and she’s kind of pretty. She’s missing one of her front teeth right now but I can see past that and see that she’s pretty.”
“Well, that’s good. But the main thing is this,” I tell him. “Is she nice?”
“Well, she had an apple in her lunch today and she asked me if I wanted it cause she hates them now on account of it was one of them she bit into and that’s how her tooth came out. So I think that was a nice thing for her to do,” he says then points at a cardinal as it flies into the tree and lands on a branch not too far from us.
“You should get out your camera,” I tell him.
As he takes his backpack off and digs through it to find the elusive camera, the bird flies away with the noise. But he finally finds it and takes it out. “I’m ready now.”
With a nod, I look around and so does he. A little baby deer comes out of the brush and I touch his shoulder to get him to look that way. He pulls the camera up and takes the picture then shows it to me as he whispers, “I got it!”
“You did!” I whisper back and pat him on the back.
When I was a kid with my gramps I just thought I loved doing this. But I found out it’s even better on this side of the game. The teaching side.
Every single day these kids teach me a little something I never knew about myself. I learned from Rogan that I am an expert diaper changer. I’m much faster than Mercy is at it. A thing I wish I hadn’t gloated about so much because now she uses that to get me to do most of the diaper duty.
Mia taught me that I can braid hair like a professional. She likes the way I do her hair so that’s another thing that I’m the go-to guy for. And Carter has taught me that being a good role model is my top priority. That little guy watches my every move so I have to be on my game when he’s around.
Never did I think the thing that would make my life better than it had ever been would be having a family to call my very own. Life is good and it just keeps getting better.
Mercy
Sitting in a rocking chair on the wrap-around porch of the ranch house we recently bought, I rock little Rogan to sleep as I watch Jude teaching Carter and Mia how to rides the horses he just brought home for them.
He spoils these kids the same way he was spoiled. Not a thing comes out of their mouths that they have the slightest interest in that he doesn’t show up with one day out of the blue.
At first, I was all over him about doing that. But in true Jude fashion, he was going to do what he was going to do. So, like everything Jude-related, I got over it and let him have his way. There’s no stopping the man, anyway.
That determined spirit he has might seem like a real pain in the butt at times but it got him through a patch of his life that would’ve been devastating if he didn’t have that. So I have to respect that aspect of him.
Jude has made my life so much more than what my initial plan was. To become a lonely woman who lived her life merely to work and raise kids and leave romance and relationships out of it.
He forced his way into my world and I can’t stop thanking God that he did that for me. Pulling the baby off my shoulder, I look at his sleeping face. He’s a combination of me and the man I love with all of my heart. A testament to our love and our commitment to one another.
Our family will be strong because if Jude and his love for us all. And I’ll never take that man for granted. He is a gift to us and I’ll always treat him like that.
The day Jude Hurst came into my life is a day I’ll never forget and I will cherish the gift I was given on that day for the rest of my life, and then some.
The End