---

JENNA

“Rod? You home?” I call out as I come into the little apartment we rented last week.

After only a few months of dating, we decided to take it a step further and move in together. To say my parents were pissed would be an understatement.

Try furious!

But what Rod Manning and I have is as real as it gets. Even if I am just eighteen. A thing my parents tell me is a real issue. Though it’s not really.

Rod’s a few years older than I am. Okay, five of them, but that’s not a big deal to me. My father made me wait until I turned eighteen to date, Rod or anyone else for that matter.

Rod’s been after me for the last couple of years, but being underage had him waiting for me. Dad threatened all kinds of hell on the poor guy if he touched me before I turned the legal age.

The funny thing is Rod’s mother has cautioned me about their oldest son as well. At a senior party, my graduating class had at one of my classmate’s ranches just before I turned eighteen I saw Rod’s mother. She was helping chaperone the party.

She had no idea of Rod’s interest in me and took me aside then asked me if I knew her son, Reed. I knew of Reed, of course. We all live in a minuscule town in Jerome, Arizona.

Reed is only two years older than I am. And I was shocked when she told me he and I would make a perfect couple. He was away at college at that time but would be home for the summer and she wanted to know if she could give him my phone number when he got home.

Her dismay when I told her it was her son, Rod, who was interested in me and me in him, confused me. She was very open about him being a difficult person. Which I found crazy.

He doesn’t seem difficult to me, at all. Quite the opposite. He seems so rugged and manly and tough as nails, but in all the right ways.

His job as a mechanic keeps his muscles tight, and he keeps a five o’clock shadow thing going on his handsome face.

I’ll admit it. The man does have this dangerous edge to him. But I find it exciting as hell.

The way he handles me is so hot!

And he’s told me he has a surprise for me tonight when he gets home. Which I thought would be by now.

“Hey there, Baby,” his deep voice calls out from our bedroom.

I go that way, turning down the short hallway that leads off the living room. There he is, leaning his tall body against the door frame.

His dark ash blonde hair hangs to his shoulders in waves. His steely blue eyes running up and down my body give me chills. “Hey, Rod.”

Clad in only his tight black underwear I see he’s taken a shower and rid himself of the grease of the garage he works in. The smell of his soap fills my senses.

My insides are already melting as he looks me over. “I brought home that surprise I told you about, but we have something to talk about first.” He pulls me into his strong arms as I come to him.

His mouth covers mine as he thrusts his tongue into my mouth. The way it moves like he has a purpose to touch every place in my mouth makes my knees weak and I lean against him.

A handful of my ass he grabs and squeezes it as he growls. My body is hot and now I’m wet and can hardly wait to get out of these clothes and into our bed.

His other hand moves up my arm then over my shoulder and he grabs a handful of my long hair and pulls it back hard. His mouth leaves mine and his teeth graze over my neck then he bites it hard.

The noise I make has him pulling back, and he looks intense.

I love that look. Like raw power.

“I want something permanent with you, Jenna.” His words make my heart pound.

“K.”

A grin creeps across his handsome face. “I haven’t told you what it is yet and you answer already?”

I nod and he smiles. “Permanent is what I want too. I love you, Rod.”

“Love is for the weak, Baby. What did I tell you about all that love shit?” He lets me go and moves away from me. “Life is about other things. Life is hard, Baby. Love is fleeting. Commitment isn’t though. I want that from you. A real commitment.”

He moves to the bed and sits on the edge and pulls a pack of cigarettes out of the bedside table. A long neck bottle half full of beer sits on top and he takes a drink then lights his cigarette.

That’s the one thing I hate. I hate the smell of cigarettes and he knows it. Yet he’s not about to do as I’ve asked him repeatedly to, smoke outside.

But I think he might be about to propose so I’m not going to bring that up right now. Instead, I go to sit next to him on the bed. “So what is it you want, Rod?”

From under the pillow he sleeps on, he pulls a sheet of paper. I can see the large words at the top, ‘Dom/Sub-Slave Contract’ my heart stops and my eyes go wide.

I pick up the sheet of paper and look at it, then at him. His face is sterile.

No emotion. Not a thing.

“Slave? Why is the word, slave, on this paper? And what is it all about?”

His strong hand moves up my arm and tightens around my bicep. “I want you. I want all of you. I want to own you, Baby.”

My heart starts to pound in my chest. “Own me?”

He nods slowly and I can’t think. Then one thought floods my brain. “My father will kill you, Rod.”

“This has to be our little secret. This town is too small to let this kind of thing out.” He takes a drag off the cigarette and the smell intensifies and I cough.

“A secret?” I look around the little bedroom. My eyes fall on a hook that’s on the wall near the closet. A hook that wasn’t there before.

Then I look back at the paper I hold in my right hand. It’s shaking and I hold it with my left to steady it so I can read what he wants from me.

Words pop out at me. Punishments. Sexual tortures. Expectations.

“Rod, is this a joke?” I look into his eyes and find no humor there.

He shakes his head slow and easy. “It’s no joke, Jenna. It’s what I want. And I always get what I want. You know that.”

Smoke encircles his head as he taps the ashes off the cigarette into the clean ashtray on the night stand. “This doesn’t look like a thing I want to be a part of. I thought you were talking about marriage, Rod.”

A low laugh comes from him. “Marriage? Nah. I’m not into that. That can end in divorce. What I’m asking from you can’t end. It’s forever, girl. Isn’t that better than a marriage?”

“This says, you want me to stay available for your every need.” My eyes move to his and find them squinting as he takes another puff of the cigarette. “My job, though.”

He shakes his head. “That little job ain’t making you no money, anyway. See, the way I’m thinking is it’s better for me if you can come to me or I come home and you’re here and you can take care of whatever I feel I need at that time.”

“Sex?” I stare at him. “Are you saying I don’t give you enough already?”

“You don’t. But that isn’t your fault. It’s your job’s fault,” he says as he grinds the cigarette butt into the ashtray. “Like this afternoon I wanted a piece of ass so bad I nearly went across the street from the shop and found one at that little bar.”

My heart stops. “You didn’t though, did you?”

“No,” he says with a shake of his head, sending his wavy locks swinging around his broad shoulders. His eyes move to mine and pierce me. “But, as you’ll find in the contract, that is a thing I can do if I see fit and you aren’t meeting all my physical needs. And you have to take it, Baby. You can’t leave me over it.”

My stomach hurts all of a sudden and I bend over and place my hand on it. ‘No! No, Rod! No, fucking way!’

Okay, I said that only in my head.

My voice is shaking as I say out loud, “Why do you want to have sex with other women?”

“I don’t want to. But if I can’t do the things I want with you then I’ll have to. I have certain desires and if you won’t let me do those things with you then I’ll get that elsewhere with someone who will.” His hand runs over my shoulder and down my arm. “But I really want to do that stuff with you, Baby. Only you. But I’m a little afraid you’re too vanilla to do any of it.”

I turn my head slowly to look at him and my age and experience or lack thereof hits me. “I’ll let you do whatever you want to me. I’m no child, Rod. I can be everything you want. If I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do. And I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else.”

“Here’s the thing, Baby. You can’t tell a soul. Not only would your dad kick my ass but mine might do the same damn thing to me. He’s told me as much.” He looks away and rubs his jaw.

“You’ve talked to your dad about whatever it is you like to do sexually?” I look at him with a face full of confusion.

I don’t even talk to my mother about the things I find arousing.

“Nah, I didn’t talk to him about it. He found some of my literature on the subject. He told me when he found out you and I were a thing that if I ever tried to bring you into that dark world he’d hold me down while your daddy beat my ass then he’d beat my ass himself.” His arm goes around me and he kisses my shoulder.

“God! What kind of literature are we talking about, Rod? That doesn’t sound like your average porn.” I watch him as he peers at me through his thick lashes.

“It isn’t average. I’m not an average man. A bit above, you know?”

I nod then say, “I think you’re the smartest guy I know, Rod.”

He laughs. “Not like that. Like the way I feel. I feel more than some. I want more than some. Fuck, Baby. You don’t know how bad I want you to come down to the shop and suck me off in the men’s room.”

My face heats. “Rod!” I laugh and look at him and see he’s dead serious. “Really?”

“Yes, really. I want to fuck you in the alley behind the grocery store during the rush hour. I want to finger fuck you in the small café on the square while the people we know eat their lunch without a clue as to what I’m doing to you. I want your panties to be soaking wet when we walk out and I want you to hand them to me when I ask. With no hesitation.” His eyes go light and sparkle.

“That’s really bad, Rod. Really bad. We could get caught and then everyone would look at us and think bad things about us. Oh, no. I can’t…” His mouth slams into mine.

He presses me back on the bed and moves his body over mine, pinning me to the mattress. “You can. You will. I will train you. I will show you how to give me everything I want.”

“You think you can train the morals out of me? I was a Sunday school teacher last year, Rod. Not a porn star.” I turn my head and he takes me by the chin and pulls me back to look at him.

“So, Sunday school teacher, what do you think it means that you gave your virginity to me? In the Biblical sense, you already belong to me.” His words hiss from his mouth. “You are already mine, Jenna Foster.” He kisses me hard again. So hard our teeth clash. Then he looks at me as he continues to hold me down. “Or do you want me to do what I have to with another woman? I can keep you too. Only you will always know I’m fucking someone else.”

“Rod! Don’t talk like that. Fuck!”

He smacks my cheek. “No more cussing. It’s disrespectful.”

I move my hand to touch my cheek and he takes my wrists before I can and holds my hands over my head. “Rod! Would you stop?”

He shakes his head. “You need to learn your place, Jenna. Your place as my woman. Do you want that or not? I’m getting tired of having to beg you.”

Wow! This is begging?

“Let me read the whole thing.”

He moves off me and hands the paper back to me. “There, hurry up. You’re making me feel weird.” He walks out of the room and I hear the fridge open and slam shut. Then the sound of him opening another beer as my eyes start at the very first word of the contract have me thinking about what I’m even doing.

Why am I contemplating this? The whole thing is crazy.

He stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame. Then pulls at his thick cock inside the tight underwear. “Read it out loud, Baby.”

I clear my throat. “This contract is between Jenna Foster and Rod Manning. This contract can never be voided. It will end only upon the death of either signing party.”

I look up at him and he smiles. “See, forever, Baby.”

“Jenna Foster agrees to become Rod Manning’s subordinate in all ways. His slave for life. She agrees to do whatever he asks her to whenever he asks her to. Rod Manning agrees never to ask Jenna Foster to do anything deemed inappropriate in front of vanillas, children, or any family members.” I look up at him again. “So, we won’t do anything bad in front of anyone who matters then?”

He nods and takes a swig of beer. “Keep reading.”

“Jenna Foster agrees to allow Rod Manning to punish her in order to teach her what he expects out of her. The punishments will be verbal, physical, and mental. All will be followed by Jenna Foster thanking him for showing her the way to please him and she will willingly give herself to him sexually after punishments if he so desires.” I look up at him again. “You want to spank me, Rod?”

He nods and looks right into my eyes. “I want to spank that ass until it’s red then I want you to beg me to do it some more.” He takes a drink of the beer. “I want to teach you all about pain, Baby. I want to teach you all about the things that make other people flinch. I want you to be fearless, just like I am.”

“By the way this reads, Rod. I won’t be fearless. Because I’ll always have to fear you.” I look at him again to see if he understands me.

“As you should, Sunday school teacher.” He comes to me and places the beer on the table and his hands on my shoulders. His cock is near my face as I sit on the bed. “After all, doesn’t it say something like that in the Bible? Fear the Lord for he giveth and he can taketh away. Or some shit like that. You’re the Sunday school teacher, not me.”

“In essence, you’re saying. If I want you, I have to show you I will give you everything you want.”

“And I will take complete care of you for doing that.” His hand moves down and he pulls his hard-on out of his underwear.

The tip of his dick rests on my lips. He looks at me intensely. I pull my head back a little. “What if I don’t want you to take complete care of me?”

“Then I’ll find someone who does want that.” He presses his very large appendage to my lips again. “It won’t be hard to find a woman who wants this monster to be all hers. As long as she does what I want her to. It’s a fair deal, Baby. You should take it. I have another girl in mind if you aren’t into it, though. Just so you know. Another girl could be sucking this dick. Another girl could be getting her pussy pleasured by this thick cock.”

I stare into his eyes to see if he’s actually serious. This man has begged me to be with him for two fucking years and now, all of a sudden, this shit comes out.

I love this asshole, though!

My eyes fall back to the paper. “The next part says you can have sex with whoever you want to. It also says you can make me have sex with whoever you want me to. It says I have to do anything you ask me to, including have oral and sexual relations with a man or another woman or participate in an orgy. So, I can’t be sure by signing this thing that you will only be mine, Rod.”

“This thing will last forever, Jenna. I had to think about what all might come up in the future. I didn’t want to leave anything out. Just to be on the safe side, you know.”

A knock comes at the front door and his eyes turn toward it then they come back to me. “Time to shit or get off the pot, Baby.”

He puts his dick back into his underwear and walks away. I get off the bed and follow him. “You can’t answer the door in your underwear, Rod!”

He laughs and throws open the door. A small woman with a jet black dye job looks at us through the screen. “So, is she out?” she asks him.

Her lip is pierced as is her eyebrow. Her skin is pale as shit and she’s wearing some fishnet stockings and the shortest skirt I’ve ever seen.

Rod doesn’t open the screen door. He just looks back at me. “Meet the other interested party, Jenna.”

The darkly lined eyes of the woman peer in at me. “She’s so vanilla. come on, Rod, pick me. She’ll never be enough for you, man. I can suck your dick on the front porch if you want.”

He looks at me intensely. “She’ll do whatever I want, Jenna. Suck me off on the front porch even.”

“I don’t know where you found her,” I say.

She interrupts me. “Scottsdale. Off the internet. And you should really just let me have him. You aren’t woman enough to please this man. He’s all man.”

“Close the door, Baby,” I tell him as I pull my shirt off over my head. Then unhook my bra and reveal to the little piece of crap who has come over a hundred miles to steal my man that I am woman enough to please him and I will prove that fact to him if I have to do it right in front of her.

He says, without looking at her, “Beat it, Lola. She’s decided to keep me around.” He slams the door and I push my jeans down.

Rod grabs my hand and pulls me to the bedroom. “Sign it first.” He grabs a pen off the night stand.

I sign the bottom without even reading the rest and then he signs it and puts the pen and the contract back in the drawer then throws me on the bed.

His eyes are almost scary as he grins at me. “And now it’s official. You are mine!”

---

Chapter 2

JENNA

“Undress,” he says as steps away from me and turns his back to me.

I do as he’s said and notice him dropping his underwear to the floor before going to the dresser. He opens the top drawer and pulls out his leather belt.

My stomach tenses as he bends it in half and slaps his left palm with it. Then he reaches back into the drawer and pulls out a small black bungee cord. When he turns back to me I’m undressed and looking at the things in his hands.

“Get on your knees and bow your head. Don’t look at me unless I tell you to. Do you understand?” he asks me as he looks into my eyes with his eyes narrowed.

“I’m not an idiot. Of course, I understand you.” I go to my knees and drop my head then find he has me by my hair and is pulling me back up.

I yelp with the pain. “Rod!”

He yanks my hair and my face is maybe an inch from his. He talks between clenched teeth, “I want no smart mouthing. You get me?”

I nod. “K.”

He pushes me to the floor and I scramble to get back into the position he told me to get into. His words are sharp and clear. “You only talk when I tell you to. You only cum when I tell you to. You only do what I tell you to. Do you understand me?”

I nod and say, “Yes.”

The belt flies through the air and lands solidly on my back. “Yes, Master!” he shouts.

The urge to get up and knock the living shit out of him I have to fight to control. “Yes, Master.” The words do not come easily out of my mouth.

I can feel a welt forming on my back from the hit and I’m not sure I can do this. I don’t know why he needs this. Then I’m reminded of the little slut who is not very far down the road and put everything out of my mind except doing what pleases the man I love.

With my head down I can only see his bare feet walking away from me then I hear a drawer open and he comes back. With another hard yank on my hair, he pulls my head up and I catch a glimpse of a black dog collar and he puts it around my neck.

It’s tight and I feel a little choked by it. He puts one finger between it and my flesh. “It’s not too tight,” he says.

I beg to differ. I can’t even wear turtleneck sweaters because they’re uncomfortable to me.

And he wants me to wear a fucking dog collar!

Then he attaches a matching leash and tells me to get on my hands and knees and go to the far wall. The one I saw the foreign hook placed near the top of.

I go and feel odd and weird and very uncomfortable and not the least bit sexy. Once I get to the wall, I stop and he says, “Kneel and place your hands together in front of you.”

I do what he’s told me to and find him wrapping the little bungee cord around my wrists. He binds my hands together with it then he pulls me up, using the leash.

The collar kind of chokes me as I try to get up without the use of my hands. Once I’m up, he takes my bound hands and loops the cord over the hook on the wall.

I’m facing the wall and can smell the old cigarette smoke as it clings to it from all the times Rod’s smoked in here. I make a note to wash the walls as the smell makes me sick to my stomach.

But to be honest this whole act is making me feel sick.

I feel the heat of his breath as he leans close to my back and moves my hair to expose my neck and says, “I’m going to give you your first spanking, Jenna Foster. This will tell me what your initial threshold for pain is and I will give you this many thrashes each time we do this, adding one more every time. Do you understand me?”

“How do I tell you when I’ve had all I can take?”

“I’ll need you to say the safe-word. No or stop, is not enough because you will not ever say those words to me again when I ask you anything. Your answer to all of my questions or demands will be a simple, yes master. In public it will be only yes. And the safe-word is candy. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” I say and don’t know how I’m going along with this.

He’s like some Nazi and I’m a little Jewish girl he plans on torturing for his own devious pleasure.

“Only say the safe-word when you are crying. I don’t want to hear it before that time. This is to build a bond between us that will last a lifetime. A bond between the Master and his slave.”

I hear the leather belt cut through the air as he draws it back then I hear it again as it flies to meet the tender flesh covering my ass and the first hit stings then burns intensely.

My heart pounds with the strike and I try hard not to scream. His voice is hard and brusque as he counts the thrashes off, “One.”

The sound of the belt flying through the air comes again and the second strike has me biting my lower lip to stop the scream with the burning pain and he says, “Two.”

My heart is pounding so hard I can no longer hear the belt as it moves through the air. The leather hits my skin and I feel tears welling up as he says, “Three.”

I know I had better have them streaming down my face before I say the word which will end this. Another slap stings my ass and its throbbing. “Four,” comes from him.

Then I feel his finger moving to the edge of my vagina and he slides it inside of me. “You’re wet for me.”

He pulls his finger out of me and presses it to my lips. I part them and he pushes it inside and I taste myself on it. Then he pulls it back and the leather belt strikes me again and this time, a sob comes out of me as the tears fall freely.

“Five,” he says.

“Candy!” I cry out. “Candy, Rod!”

“Candy, Baby,” he says as he tosses the belt on the bed and presses his body against my back. He leaves my hands bound and on the hook. “Now, I’m going to fuck you. Don’t move or say a fucking word or I’ll give you five more thrashes. Cum only when I tell you to and you better fucking come for real or I’ll give you five more lashes. Do you understand me?”

I choke the words out as I’m crying very hard now, “Yes, Master.”

His cock is large and pulsing as he moves the tip to my asshole and I tense up as he’s never taken me in the ass before.

I hold my breath and the sobs stop as I prepare myself for the intrusion. The large tip of his cock moves inside my asshole and then he pulls it back out.

“Good, girl,” he says. Then pushes the tip in again. “Just the tip for tonight.”

He moves only the tip in and out a total of twenty times then moves his cock to my vagina and thrusts hard into me. His body is hot and sweaty and so is mine.

My hair clings to my head with the sweat and our bodies glide against the others as he thrusts hard into me. He takes a handful of my hair and yanks it hard then his mouth is on my neck and he’s biting me hard then sucking hard on the place he bit.

I swear every nerve in my body is on fire with the amount of hard stimuli he’s given it. It’s an uncomfortable heat and I don’t find any pleasure in it.

The feeling of being used is what I feel. Then I recall how he said if I don’t cum for real he’s going to give me five more thrashes.

I close my eyes and try to feel pleasure. I focus on his hard dick plunging into me, making me feel full. His cock is inside me deep and the penetration is stroking me in all the right ways.

For whatever reason this pleases him and gives him pleasure so I had better figure out how to make this work for me or I will surely lose him.

His teeth take my earlobe and he delivers a hard bite. I nearly yelp but manage to keep it in. Then he asks, “Do you like me fucking you, Baby?”

“Yes, Master,” I say. One of his hands moves around me and his thumb and forefinger pinch my clit.

He rubs it with his middle finger as he pounds into me from behind. My body starts shaking as an orgasm is threatening me. But I can’t let it go until he tells me to, or it means more lashes on my ass which still burns from the first ones.

Thankfully, I feel his cock stiffen inside me and he moans from near my ear, “Cum.”

I let go and want to shriek with the intensity of the climax but don’t dare. He makes slow strokes until his cock no longer pulses then he moves out of me and leaves me hanging on the hook.

My body sags and my arms ache. Then he takes them off the hook and undoes the cord. My arms fall to my sides and I can’t move them.

He picks me up in his strong arms and lies me face down on the bed. “I’m going to get the medicated cream to put on the lashes. Stay right there.”

He walks away and I don’t think I could move if I had to. Then he’s back and rubbing the cool stuff all over my ass and it numbs it and the burning finally eases.

“You did better than I ever imagined you could for the first time, Baby. I’m so proud of you. I knew you’d be good at this.” He kisses my back as he moves me up on the bed then climbs over me, straddling my back then begins massaging it and my shoulders which already feel stiff.

I don’t say a word as he’s not told me I could yet. And I don’t know what I would say, anyway.

Thanks for beating my ass…

Nah, I have nothing to say.

Rod stops the massage and pulls the hair off my neck and kisses my cheek. It’s a sweet kiss. Nothing like the way he’s been treating my body. “I’m going to get you something for the pain. It’ll help you sleep. I’m really proud of you. Thanks.”

He climbs off me and leaves the room and I try very hard not to cry.

---

Chapter 3

JENNA

Almost six months into our contract and Rod and I are having New Year’s Eve dinner at his parents’ home. Sue and Jason Manning are retired school teachers.

Sue was my English teacher in junior high. I never had Mr. Manning in high school as he taught the Ag class and I wasn’t in Ag.

But he’s a very nice man and I find myself looking at the older couple as they’re very sweet to one another. I have to wonder where Rod got his bad side from.

The lessons, as Rod calls them, are nearly every night. My ass has become numb and I guess I’m thankful for that. Because of the fact I can take so many lashes, he doesn’t always start off with that.

And when he does, it’s him who stops it as I suppose his arm gets tired. I’ve become accustomed to the acts. They don’t excite or necessarily bother me. It’s just something he needs to do.

He makes love to me in normal ways sometimes. And I do love those times. Rod is a complicated man.

I often wonder if something happened to him when he was young. He seems to fight demons only he can see. Using liquor, cigarettes, and me seems to keep them at bay most of the time.

Though he won’t tell me he loves me and refuses to let me tell him as he sees love as weakness, I do love the man I have the deepest feelings for.

Headlights light up the living room and Rod makes his way from the little minibar with a couple of beers in his hand and goes to the door. “Looks like my little brother’s made it.”

Sue grabs her husband, Jason, by the hand. “Oh, come with me to get the food out of the oven. Let’s hurry!” They leave the room and it’s only me and Rod left to greet his brother.

I haven’t seen his younger brother, Reed since he left for college a couple of years ago. And I never really knew the guy before that. He’s only a couple of years older than I am.

Truth be told I was always very shy anytime we found ourselves around each other. Rod’s handsome but Reed’s gorgeous. His hair is really blonde and his eyes are dark blue.

Rod opens the door and in walks Reed and right behind him is a short young woman with glasses and dark hair. She looks smart as hell and she must be his girlfriend.

Reed is all smiles, and he looks happy. “Hey, big bro!” He hugs Rod and Rod claps him on the back.

The two together like that shows me Reed has put on some muscles since he’s been away at UCLA in California. Reed’s a couple of inches taller than Rod. Probably because Rod has been smoking since he was sixteen and Reed has always been a jock and really healthy.

The men are over six feet and both have broad shoulders and muscles. Only Reed looks a bit more sturdy.

When Rod lets Reed go I find Reed’s eyes moving over me. “And who do we have here?” he asks as he pulls his girlfriend along behind him and comes toward me.

I get up off my place on the sofa and give him a smile. “Hi, Reed,” I say, shyly.

Rod comes around them and puts his arm around me. “Her daddy finally had to let his little princess grow up, and I snagged her quick. Jenna and I are living together now.”

Reed’s eyes go kind of wide and he shakes his head. “Already? Shit! Didn’t you barely graduate in May, Jenna?”

I’m surprised he even knew that.

I nod. “Yeah.”

“And you didn’t go to college?” Reed asks as he looks into my eyes and I feel all wiggly inside. Most likely because he’s a gorgeous mass of a man and he probably has this effect on most females.

Rod makes a huffing sound. “She doesn’t need college. She’s my woman. I take care of her every need.”

Reed’s lips form a tight line then he pulls up the young woman’s hand he’s holding. “This is Pam. She and I go to college together.”

She pushes her glasses up her nose some. Her deep brown eyes kind of glisten as she says, “Nice to meet you all.”

Sue and Jason finally come out of the kitchen and Sue shouts, “My baby!”

Reed quickly abandons his girl to go to his mother. He picks her up as he hugs her and she giggles like a young girl. “Oh, Reed! I’ve missed you, baby boy!”

He puts her down and his father claps him on the back then gives his youngest son a hug. “Good to see you, Son.”

“You too, Dad,” Reed says then comes back our way to grab his girl. “This is Pam.”

“Nice to meet you, Pam,” Sue says and Jason gives her a nod and a smile.

The girl is nothing like I pictured when I thought of Reed having a girlfriend. He played the field when he was in high school. But he never got serious about anyone here.

I suppose she’s pretty in a way. Mostly plain, not ugly or anything. And she seems even quieter than I am.

Rod hands one of the unopened beers to Reed. “Here you go. You finally made it to twenty-one.”

Reed takes the beer and opens the top of the long necked brown bottle. “I did. Even though your attempts on my young life were kind of often, I managed to grow up, Rod.” His lips conform to the bottle and I find myself looking far too hard at them.

I look down and shudder. If Rod ever caught me looking at another man he’d skin me alive.

Rod grabs my hand and pulls me with him to sit down on the sofa, placing me on his lap and making me feel very uncomfortable. “I wanted to be an only child.”

Reed laughs. “So did I.”

Their parents laugh too and I look up to find them looking oddly at one another. So I ask Rod, “Did you two fight a lot when you were little?”

“I kicked his ass,” Rod says with a grin. “I wouldn’t call it fighting.”

Reed takes a long drink then pulls the bottle from his mouth I can see from my peripheral vision as I had better not look full on at him. “Until the day I made you eat asphalt. You do recall our very last fight. Don’t you, Rod?”

Sue looks nervous. “Let’s not bring that day up!” She grabs Reed’s hand and pulls him along with her as Pam trails along behind him, looking like a midget as she’s so much shorter than he is. “Help me grab the trays with the appetizers, please.”

I look at Rod. “What happened?” I whisper.

His eyes have gone steely, and he takes a drink of his beer. “Don’t worry about it.”

His mood has gone south suddenly and I wonder what happened between the two that had their fights ending so fast and putting Rod in a foul mood.

Rod’s hand moves up my back and his lips touch my ear. “We’re going to the bathroom.”

I don’t ask why I just get up when he pushes at me to and let him lead me to the bathroom. His father watches us go and I know my cheeks are turning the deepest shade of red.

Once inside with the door closed, Rod unbuttons his jeans and pulls out his hard cock. I know what he wants and go to my knees in front of him.

Opening my mouth, he takes the back of my head and moves my mouth over his hard cock. He thrusts it in and I gag a little as it goes into my throat.

He makes hard strokes with his cock into my mouth and doesn’t make a sound as he does. I have no indication he’s about to cum until his cock jerks and semen flows down my throat. Then he makes a small grunt and pulls out of my mouth.

He looks down at me as I hurry to grab some toilet paper and clean him off. His hand moves over my hair and he whispers, “I like your blonde hair much more than that drab brown Reed’s bitch has. Your green eyes are prettier too. You’re so much better than what he brought home.”

“Thank you, Master,” I say as I clean him all up.

He pulls me up and puts his arms around me. It’s a softness he rarely shows. “There’s mouthwash under the sink. Use it then come out in three minutes. Not one second before that.”

He lets me go and walks out. I have no idea why there’s a time limit but I start counting in my head, one-thousand-one, one-thousand two. Grabbing the mouthwash, I pour some in one of the small cups on the vanity top then swish it around my mouth.

Making sure I have no residual cum on my face I look at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes go glassy as I fight the feeling of being used. I say to myself, “He needs you to be this for him. You love him, Jenna.”

I blink the tears away and the last second goes by and I walk out of the bathroom. And Reed is standing right there. “Oh!”

His hand is in my face. “I was just about to knock. Sorry.”

I move to the side and look down at the floor. “Sorry.”

His hand on my arm stops me. “Jenna, you okay?”

“Yes,” I say quietly.

He lets me go. “Okay then.” And he goes into the bathroom.

I fall against the wall in the dark hallway. His touch sent electricity straight through me.

The entire time I gave Rod head, I never felt the least bit excited and when Reed touched me for a mere second, I went wet in my panties.

What the hell is wrong with me?

“Jenna,” Rod calls out from the living room.

I hurry down the hall and into the room and go to his side. “Yes?”

His arm goes around me and he pulls me tight to his side. “What were you and he doing back there?”

“Nothing.” I look down and his hand touches my chin and pulls my face up.

“You look flushed.” His eyes roam over my face.

I smile and whisper, “You have me that way, Master.”

He smiles back at me and kisses my cheek. “Good, girl.”

Not feeling very proud of myself, I lean against Rod and think about how much he does for me and how I should appreciate him so much more. Looking at other men, especially his brother, is not a thing I should be doing.

Going wet for his younger brother is definitely not a thing I should be doing!

Rod takes a tiny sausage wrapped in a crescent roll and places it on my lips. I open them and accept the food into my mouth. “Like it?”

I nod and he picks up another one off the tray. I eat it too and hold my hand up when he tries to get me to eat one more. “Can I have a drink?”

He has a beer on the table and picks it up and takes a drink of it then hands it to me. His mother’s eyes go right to me as I take the beer from his hand. “I really shouldn’t. I’m not old enough yet, Rod.”

“You can if I let you. And I’m letting you,” he says.

His mother comes to us and takes the beer out of my hand and replaces it with a cold soda. “Here you go, Sweetheart. We don’t want you getting into something before you’re ready for it now do we?”

“No, Mam.” I take a drink of the coke and try not to look at Rod as his mother walks away, and he narrows his eyes at her.

“I’m ready to get out of here.” He takes my hand and pulls me toward the door. Then looks over his shoulder as Reed comes back into the living room. “You want to join us over at Stacy’s Bar, little bro?”

Reed looks at Pam. “Want to?”

She nods and they follow as Sue calls out, “Jenna can stay here while you go out, Rod. She’s much too young to be in that bar.”

Rod’s arm goes around my shoulders. “I got her, Mom.”

His arm tightens around me as Reed adds, “I’ll watch out for her, Mom. Don’t worry.”

As we walk outside I can feel Rod’s body go tense, and he opens the driver’s side door of his old Ford truck. “Get in.”

I slide in and stay in the middle where he likes me to. Reed and Pam take the car they came in. Rod gets in and looks at me. Then starts the truck.

We roll out of the driveway and Reed and his girlfriend follow us. “Your mother is so nice, Rod.”

“A little too nice.” He looks back at me. “Seems my family thinks I don’t have sense enough to protect what’s mine.”

“I’m sure that’s not it at all. They’re all very nice is all.” I run my hand over the top of his thigh and he looks at it.

“Did I give you permission to do that?”

I move my hand. “Sorry, Master. No, you did not give me permission to do that.”

“Seems you bring out the protective side of my mother and little brother. Why do you think that is?” He steps on the gas and goes pretty fast.

“My age, I guess.” I watch the speedometer move up fast and reach around to grab the seatbelt.

“You don’t trust me or what, Jenna?” He looks straight ahead.

“It’s not that. It’s the law, Rod. Nothing more than that. Please don’t read anything into it. Let’s go have a nice time tonight. It’s so rare you take me with you when you go out. I’d like to enjoy it. Maybe you’ll see fit to dance with me some.” I buckle the safety belt and he throws on the brakes and makes a sharp right.

“We’ll see. There are some grown-ass women in this place, Baby. I’m going to let you see how they treat a man.” His eyes go narrow as he pulls the pack of cigarettes off the ledge in front of the steering wheel. He hands the pack with the lighter inside it to me. “Light one up for me.”

He knows I hate doing this and I don’t really know why he makes me do it. And I don’t know what the hell he meant by what he just said. But asking him will get me into trouble so I do what he’s said and light up the cigarette then hand it to him as I cough.

He laughs and puts the nasty thing in his mouth. “Tonight, I expect you to smoke at least one of these. The entire thing.”

My body goes tense and I look down. “I won’t be doing that, Rod. My grandfather died from lung cancer. I’ve told you that a lot of times.”

“No one has proven that cigarettes caused that.”

I hold the pack up where it says exactly that on the side of the packaging and he looks back at me with squinted eyes as he blows smoke in my face.

I place the pack back where he had it and turn my head and cough again.

We pull into the packed parking lot and stop. He gets out and reaches in for me so I take his hand. We wait as Reed pulls in next to us and Pam gets out of the passenger side.

She waves her hand through the cloud of smoke Rod just exhaled. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you smoking is very bad for you, Rod?”

He laughs. “Yeah, Jenna just lectured the shit out of me about just that same thing. What’s up with chicks these days?”

My eyebrows raise up high.

He thought that was a lecture?

Reed comes around and takes Pam by the hand and we all start walking in. “Are they going to let her in here, Rod?” he asks.

“I’m a regular. They give me special treatment here. What I say goes, little brother.” He pulls me in tight to his side. “My woman is welcome anywhere I am. As long as I want it that way.”

Reed moves up next to me and looks at me. “You come here a lot with him?”

I shake my head. “This is the first time he’s brought me here. He always comes here alone.”

Reed looks at Rod with a frown. “You leave her home and come out here by yourself, Rod?”

“So,” Rod says as he pulls the door open and smoke billows out of it and we walk straight into the thick stuff and I cough again.

A tall, skinny, blonde woman looks at Rod. “Four shots and four beers coming up, Rod.”

He smiles. “See, they know how to treat me here.” He leads us to a table in a dark corner and in no time another woman is bringing the drinks on a tray and I wince as after she places the drinks in front of everyone she takes a seat on Rod’s lap and runs her arms around his neck.

“It’s been a week. Where’ve you been, Stud?” Her red lips touch his cheek and he smiles at her after he pulls back.

He gives her a wink. “The holidays, Girl. My old lady had me busy with domestic shit this week. No time for play. But this is New Year’s Eve and playtime is upon us.”

The woman looks at me. “So this is the old ball and chain, huh?”

He nods. “This is my woman, Jenna.”

Reed clears his throat, and the woman looks at him. “And this is Reed Manning. The hottest mother fucker this town ever let go. How you been, college boy?”

“Mona, nice to see you again. It’s been a few years since I’ve seen you on my brother’s lap.”

Heat goes all through me as I look at her. “Are you one of his exes?”

A smile moves over her face. Her very heavily made-up face. The tell, tell lines of a face which has sucked on its fair share of cigarettes and dicks. “I wouldn’t call myself an ex.”

Rod pushes at her to get off his lap. “Mona and I never really dated, Jenna.”

She laughs as she stands up but leaves her hand on his shoulder. “No, we’ve never really dated. But does anyone date the legendary bad boy, Rod Manning?”

“I have,” I say and pick up the shot of whiskey and down it as I look into her light blue eyes.

Rod’s arm goes around my shoulders and his lips touch the side of my head. “Easy, Baby. She’s not a threat,” he growls in my ear.

I put the shot glass on the table and she smiles. “I’ll get you another, Missy.” Then she swings her hips as she walks away and I find Rod watching her.

“Rod!” I say under my breath.

His eyes move to mine. “What?” He takes his shot and downs it. Then looks at his brother. “Well, what are you waiting for, boy? Drink up!”

Reed looks at me and I see a little sadness in his deep blue eyes. He picks up his shot and raises it to me. “Here’s to the girl who got Rod Manning to settle down.” Then he drinks it and slams the glass on the table and glares at his brother.

Rod laughs and picks up his beer. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Reed doesn’t laugh as he says, “Yeah, I may have spoken too soon.”

The woman brings another round already and leans over Rod’s shoulder and whispers something into his ear. He looks at her and then at me. “Someone has challenged me to a game of pool. You don’t mind, do you, Baby?”

“Of course, I don’t.” I pick up the beer and take a drink to calm my anger.

Rod looks at Reed. “Watch my woman for me, little bro. Don’t let any jackass bother her. Get me?”

Reed nods. As Rod walks away, Reed looks at me and says, “You heard what he said. So when are you going to get smart, Jenna?”

“What?” I ask in confusion. My eyes follow Rod as he walks up to yet another woman, and she falls all over him and kisses him right on the mouth.

I look away and Reed turns back and sees what his brother is doing. “I remember you were a smart girl and weren’t you even a Sunday school teacher for a while there, Jenna. What the hell happened?”

“I had no idea you knew a thing about me,” I say and turn my chair so I can’t see Rod head-on anymore.

“What the hell are you doing with Rod?” Reed taps the table in front of me to get me to look up at him.

“He’s been after me since I was sixteen. I guess he wore me down.” I take another drink and out of the corner of my eye I see Rod leaning over the pool table with the woman in his arms and makes a shot. His dick is pressed up against her and my blood is boiling.

Reed and Pam turn back to look at Rod and his antics and they look back at me. The girl looks at me with sorrow in her dark eyes and Reed looks at me like I’m an idiot.

I feel awful and would love nothing more than to go back home. And now that I know this is what happens when he goes out I know I’ll get a knot in my stomach every time he does from now on.

Before I pictured Rod as hanging out with other men and shooting some pool and drinking and not once were there women in the picture.

How wrong I was!

Reed and Pam finish their drinks and he takes one more look back at his brother who’s kissing the woman and his hands are gripping her ass as he grinds his dick into her.

“Come on, we’ll take you home, Jenna. This isn’t cool at all.” Reed gets up and Pam does too.

I sit still. “I can’t go with you guys. Thank you, though.”

Pam looks at me. “Come on. If you want, we can drop you off at your parents or even Rod’s parents if you’d rather not go back to your house. I wouldn’t if I was you.”

“It’s okay. Thank you. I have to stay and go with Rod.” I pick up the shot and drink it.

Reed comes to me and places his hand on my shoulder. Despite the numbing effects of the alcohol, I feel the current of electricity flow through my body and my insides pulse.

I look up into his dark blue eyes as he says, “Jenna, just come with me.”

The next thing I know Rod’s head pops over his brother’s shoulder. “Hands off my woman, little bro.”

Reed removes his hand and turns to face his brother. “I wasn’t really touching her, Rod. And maybe you should stop the bullshit and pay attention to her since you brought her here and all. The thing with the sluts is a bit much and I really don’t like to see someone as good as Jenna is treated the way you’re treating her.”

“Mind your business, little bro.” Rod reaches around him and takes my hand. “Let’s dance, Baby.”

He pulls me around Reed and as our bodies graze past each other I feel the current again and my knees go kind of week. “Bye. Thank you.” I say as Rod pulls me along behind him and I look back at Reed.

The edges of his eyes droop a little and he and Pam walk out of the bar as Rod pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. “Did you like watching me with that girl?”

“No,” I say very fast and then realize I’ve said a word that will get me punished.

He stops dancing and looks at me. Then he laughs. “For that, I want you to follow that slut into the bathroom next time she goes and beat the fuck out of her for what she did to me.”

“You did that to her. It wasn’t exactly her fault.” He starts moving us again with the music. “It’s up to you to curtail that kind of thing. Isn’t that what you tell me about other men?”

“I’m a man with needs and she was in the right place at the right time. If it makes you feel any better, your body is better than hers and I like grinding my dick against you much more.” He twirls us around and then his mouth is on mine.

I feel like pushing him away but I know that will get my ass beat. Most likely right here in front of everyone. He stops his hard kiss and lets me out of his arms. “She just went in. Go in there and teach her to keep her cunt away from me.”

He spins me around and smacks me on the ass. I walk away not sure what to do.

I’ve never been in a fight. Much less provoked one. And the woman has to be at least five or six years older than me. And she looks rough.

Pushing the bathroom door open, I turn and lock it behind me. When she comes out of the stall I look at her. Reminding myself of what will surely happen to me if she doesn’t look kind of roughed up when she walks out of here.

I take in a deep breath then say, “I don’t like what I saw you doing with my man, Bitch!”

She washes her hands then grabs a paper towel and looks at me through the mirror. “That guy is the biggest whore, Baby girl. If it wasn’t me, it would’ve been some other woman. As a matter of fact, he’s most likely fucking around with another woman out there as we speak. Don’t take it personally. Rod Manning is just a dog who likes to stick his dick into any woman he can.”

And just like that, I snap. Her hair is in my fist and I’m banging her head against the porcelain sink.

Blood splashes on my arm as her forehead splits open. I let her go when I see the blood and my body starts shaking. “Keep your filthy cunt away from my man, Bitch!”

I unlock the door and hurry out. Rod is wrapped around another woman and I walk right passed them as I go outside.

The next thing I know he’s grabbing me up and carrying me through the parking lot. “Is that blood?”

I nod and feel the sting of tears in my eyes. He puts me down as he unlocks the truck and opens the door then looks back at me. “Get in, Rocky!”

Getting inside the truck I start to cry as he gets in and starts it up and hurries out of the parking lot. He looks over at me with a big grin. “Don’t you fucking cry!” He frowns as he sees the tears. “I’ll fucking take every tear out of your hide. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Master.” I wipe the tears away and suck it up.

“I’m proud of you. That’s one of the first womanly things I’ve seen you do. You’re taking those steps to being the woman I need. A tough bitch who doesn’t take shit from any other woman. If it was the other way around, I’d beat any mother fucker’s ass who laid a hand on my woman.”

“But you told me I had to accept you being with other women. I don’t understand, Rod,” I say as I look at him in confusion.

“Maybe once in a while, I’d like to see you stand up for yourself. That’s all.”

And now I’m thoroughly confused by this man…

---

Chapter 4

JENNA

Rod and I have made it another year and Christmas Eve has us back at his parents’ home for their annual party. This is my first one. Sue picked me up earlier and Rod is going to meet me here a little later.

I have no idea where the man is as he didn’t have work today but he’s off somewhere and texted me to go with his mother. Hopefully, he’s somewhere buying me a present and not doing anything bad.

Sue spins around with powdered sugar on her cheeks after closing the oven door on her last batch of sugar cookies. “Jenna, would you be a dear and watch these and take them out for me when the timer goes off? I have to shower and get cleaned up before the guests arrive.”

“Sure thing, Sue. I’ll handle this.” I take a seat on a barstool and pick up the food magazine she has laid out on the counter. “Take your time.”

She gives my cheek a kiss as she floats by me and I smile at her.

Sue’s been just like a mother to me. She’s the sweetest thing and it kind of aggravates me how Rod is about her. He calls her meddling and tells me not to talk to her too much.

I like her though and don’t see her like that at all. The back door opens up and my heart stops as Reed comes inside. He looks at me. “Hi, Jenna. I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t see Rod’s truck outside.”

“Your mom picked me up.” I look back at the magazine that suddenly my hands hold very tightly to.

I knew he was coming in today. I have no idea why I’m reacting like a school girl with a crush.

Reed walks right up to me and holds out his arms. “It’s customary to give Christmas Eve hugs in this family, Jenna. And if one catches you under the mistletoe hanging in the living room then you have to accept the kiss. Even if it’s stinky old Uncle Lou.” He laughs and continues to hold out his arms.

I climb off the chair and let him hug me. I try to think of anything else as our bodies touch and all I can do is take in a deep breath.

He smells like pine needles and nutmeg. It’s awesome and I shouldn’t love it so much. I also shouldn’t never want to let him go, but that’s exactly how I feel.

I pull away, anyway and find him gazing down at me. His hand runs through my blonde waves and he lets out a sigh. “I’ve always thought you had the most beautiful head of hair in town, Jenna.”

I smile and blush. “Thank you. I have to admit I’ve always thought your hair was a nice shade of blonde, myself.”

He sits on the bar stool next to mine as I get back on it. He takes the magazine and pushes it away so I can’t reach it and have to talk to him, I suppose. “So, how’s everything been going? Have you jerked a knot in my brother’s tail yet?”

I laugh. “I don’t think that’s even possible. He’s pretty bull-headed.”

“And a complete ass,” Reed says with a laugh. “Is he still going out without you?”

I nod. “I don’t like to go out, anyway.”

“Bet you don’t when he pulls the kind of shit he does. So when do you think you’ll have enough and come to your senses?” His fingers tap the countertop and I watch them.

They’re long and lean and look strong. Not that Rod’s aren’t but Reed’s are well manicured.

“I love the man. What can I say?”

“Love? So when’s the big day? Has he asked you to marry him?” He gets up and goes to look in the fridge for something and takes out two bottles of water and brings one to me.

“Marriage is not a thing he wants. He doesn’t believe in it,” I tell him as I try to open the water.

But it’s proving hard to open, and he takes it from me and opens it then hands it back. “So what’s the plan then?”

“I suppose this is it. We live together.” I take a drink as I notice him watching me.

“You, Jenna, are wife material. Not shacking up material.” He takes a drink.

My faces heats and I know I’m blushing. “Thank you, I guess.”

Setting the water down, he looks me over. “So about college. Have you thought any more about going? I recall you made very good grades in school, young lady.” His hand moves over my shoulder and I freeze with the zing of the sparks that shoots through me.

“How would you know anything about my grades, Reed?” I get up so his hand can’t do that to me anymore.

The timer goes off and I pick up the pot holder and get the cookies from the oven. When I stand back up I catch him looking at my ass with his head cocked to one side.

“So, my grades, Reed? How would you know about them?” I ask, making him look away from my ass. But secretly it pleases me to no end he would do such a thing.

“I helped grade papers for a few teachers and yours were always very good. So college? Tell me what kinds of things you’re interested in, Jenna Foster.” He gets up and comes to pick up a hot cookie off the tray fresh from the oven and quickly drops it back down on it. “Ow! It’s hot!”

“You think?” I ask with a laugh.

His lightly tanned cheeks go pink and I have to look away because I want to run my hands over them so damn bad. Placing the tray on the stovetop, I turn to find him kind of hovering around me.

So I pick up my water and go to the living room. “That was the last batch of cookies.”

He follows me and when I take a seat on the sofa he takes the place right next to me. “So, what kind of thing might you want to go to school for?”

“Reed, I honestly don’t know. And what are you doing out there in California? Rod never talks about it.” I sit back and see his eyes light up.

“I’m actually doing very well selling real estate there. You know if you wanted to go to college, my real estate firm could give you scholarships to go. It wouldn’t cost you a dime.”

“Your firm? Like the one you work for?” I ask as he runs his arm over the back of the couch and his fingertips are near my shoulder. And I swear I can feel sparks coming from them.

“I own it,” he says. Then his fingertips touch my shoulder and I go all hot inside. “And I would love to use some of that money to put you through college. So what is it you’d like to do?”

“To become a teacher of little kids was a thing I always thought I’d like to do. When I was a Sunday school teacher for the little kids at our church I loved it. But Rod doesn’t want me to work,” I say and his fingers leave my shoulder and the heat inside me dissipates.

“Well, Rod can get the fuck over it, can’t he?” He smiles and I frown.

Rod doesn’t get the fuck over anything!

The front door opens and in walks Rod and his face goes frozen as he looks at us. “How fucking cozy is this shit?”

Reed gets up and walks to him, holding out his arms. “Come on, big bro, Christmas Eve hugs!”

Rod looks over his brother’s shoulder at me with a bit of a glare on his face. Then looks at his brother. “When did you get here?”

“A little while ago. Jenna has been keeping me company.” Reed turns around to walk back and my heart stops as Rod looks hard at me.

“Get me a beer, Baby,” he barks and I jump up and move fast to get it.

I freeze as Reed grabs my arm as I try to hurry past him. “Hold up there, Jenna. No reason to run. I’ll grab him one. I am closer to the kitchen.”

I look at Rod but he gives me no clue as to what he wants me to do. Reed lets me go and walks into the kitchen and I go to sit next to Rod.

Anger radiates from him. “Jenna, care to explain?”

Before I can say a word Reed comes back and tosses a beer to him. “About Jenna, Rod. She has this crazy notion you don’t want her to get an education or a job. Tell her how she’s mistaken.”

“She isn’t mistaken.” He takes a long drink. “I take care of her. There’s no need for any of that.”

“When do you plan on marrying her?” Reed stands just in front of him.

“Take a seat, bro.” Rod looks his brother in the eye and takes another drink.

Rod sits in the chair across from us. “So, when was that you said?”

“Not that it’s a damn bit of your business, but I don’t believe in marriage and Jenna and I have discussed things and we know what we both want and we’re doing it.” Then his head swivels and he looks at me then back at Reed. “Or did she tell you something different?”

“No!” I say and then shut up as his head snaps and he looks at me then back at Reed.

Reed’s eyes go narrow as he looks at us both. “She didn’t say anything, Rod. I brought it up. I just want to know when you plan on making an honest woman out her.”

“Why?” Rod asks as he runs his hand down my leg. He takes the hem of my dress and curls his fingers under it possessively.

His mother walks in and I sigh. “Hey, Sue. The cookies are out. Want some help frosting them?”

“Sure,” she says all cheerfully.

I look at Rod. “Can I go help her?”

“Sure,” he says and I get up and notice Reed giving his brother a dirty look.

As I leave the room I hear Reed ask, “Does she have to get your permission for everything, Rod?”

I listen for Rod’s response. “If she knows what’s good for her ass, she does.”

Then I slip into the kitchen and stop eavesdropping on them.

I pick up a spoon and stir the red food coloring into the white icing Sue’s dropped into it. “I love Christmas,” she says.

Reed comes into the kitchen. “Can I help?”

His mother is humming a Christmas carol. “Of course, my baby boy. Hey, would you put on some music to help us get into that holiday spirit, Son?”

He goes over to the small television that hangs on the wall of the attached dining room and finds the remote and puts on some holiday music then comes back.

“Where’s Rod?” I ask.

“He went to go get some beer. He said he’ll be back soon.” Reed moves in next to me.

His mother places a bowl of icing in front of him and drops some green food coloring into it. “Reed, grab us all some aprons, would you, Dear?”

He leaves the place next to me and in moments he’s back and I feel his body right behind mine. He’s so close and then his arms are around me as he puts the apron over my head and his hands graze my stomach as he smooths it out and takes the strings and ties it behind my back.

I have to fight myself not to let my body fall back to his. It’s nearly overwhelming. My head feels light and I don’t know how he makes me feel like this.

It’s beyond anything I’ve ever felt with Rod and I feel instantly awful for this. I shake my head to try to clear it. “Thank you, Reed.”

Then my panties go wet as he leans even closer. His lips brush the hair around my ear as he says in a deep husky voice, “You’re welcome, Jenna.”

I’m nearly shaking as he moves back and puts his apron on then hands one to his mother. All too soon he’s back beside me and his elbow gently pushes into my side. I scoot over a smidge to stop the connection.

“I’ll be right back,” I say and nearly run out of the kitchen to the bathroom down the hall.

As I get inside it, I close the door and fall back on it. I don’t understand how I can be so attracted to him. I do love Rod.

I do!

After splashing some cold water on my face and calming myself down, I go back out and find Rod standing under the mistletoe. He’s smiling at me. “Hey, Baby,” he says with a sweet sound to his voice.

His arms open and I move into them and his mouth takes mine in a sweet kiss. Not hard, not demanding. Just sweet. And my body melts into his.

His arms go around me as he sways with me then our lips part and he looks down at me. The blue in his eyes has a silvery quality to them and sparkle a little.

It’s times like this that make him so special to me. Love flows from my heart and I feel it coming from him, though he’d never say the word.

I run my hand over his scruffy cheek and he takes my hand and kisses the top softly. Then the doorbell rings and he reluctantly lets me go. Taking my hand, he takes me with him to answer the door and let in the first of his many family members which will be at the party tonight.

As he opens the door we find his cousin, A.J. holding up a bottle of Jack Daniels. “Ready to get fucked up, Cuz?”

I roll my eyes as Rod says, “Fuck yeah!”

I step back with Rod to let the man near Rod’s age in and say, “Now that’s the Christmas spirit.” My words come out heavily laced with sarcasm.

A.J. follows us to the kitchen and as we travel through the living room, he stops under the mistletoe. “Jenna, look where I am.”

Rod and I turn back and Rod shakes his head. “Not happening, Dude.” Then he pulls me along with him and leans in to whisper. “With anyone but me. Got me, Baby?”

“Yes,” I answer and see Reed glance up then he comes our way.

“You were helping frost cookies one minute then gone the next, Jenna,” he says. “I suppose Rod happened to you.” He gives his brother a look.

Rod lets my hand go, then runs his arm around my neck and pulls me in tight to him. “And I happen to her every night, and sometimes in the afternoon and morning too. Ain’t that right, Baby?”

I faintly hit at his broad chest and feel the heat filling my face with embarrassment. “My, God, Rod!”

His lips press against my temple as he laughs deeply. “What, Baby? I’m proud your mine is all.”

Sue turns around and shakes a spoon dripping with red frosting as she looks at him. “Rod! Stop that! You know I hate when you talk about her as if she’s something that belongs to you. Jenna is a person, not an object you own.”

His hand runs down to my ass and he gives one cheek a squeeze and whispers to me, “If she only knew.”

With his words, my body heats and with some type of excitement this time. I can’t explain what knowing I belong to him sometimes does to me. It’s odd and I think it sets me back in the women’s liberation movement by decades, but it’s hot for some damn reason.

Reed turns back to his cookie decorating and I glance at him for only a moment. He wears a frown, and it makes me feel awful.

---

As the night wears on and Rod and his cousins get thoroughly trashed I find myself sitting in a quiet corner of the den. A room not often used by the Manning family.

I like the fireplace in here, though. The fire has burned nearly all the way down and it gives the small room a nice golden glow.

I watch the embers and what’s left of the flames then I hear someone clearing their throat. “Mind if I join you?”

Without looking up, I know it’s Reed and answer, “Of course, you can, Reed. This is your home after all.”

The room has one loveseat and a chair in it and I’m sitting in the chair so he takes the love seat. He sprawls out on it, taking it all up and lays his head back on the arm of it as he looks at me then his gaze moves to the fire.

“What a night, huh?” he asks.

“Yes, it’s very, let’s say festive.” I smile as it’s so different from how my family celebrates. Wild and full of alcohol and dirty jokes is what this family does.

My family is traditional. We celebrate on Christmas afternoon after church services. A place I have to be at tomorrow and I’m sure Rod will be staying home and sleeping tonight off.

“Your man is tying one on. I doubt he’ll be in any condition to drive home. You should talk him into staying the night here. In his old bedroom. Mom keeps our bedrooms just like we’ve always had them. The bed’s a single but if you work it out right, you’ll fit too.” He gives me a wink. “Or you can take the guest room just down the hallway. It’s next to my room. You could drop by if you wanted to talk or something like that.”

My eyes move from the fire to look at him. Bathed in the golden light he looks like some kind of model. The light brings out the especially shiny parts in his blonde hair. His eyes seem to dance with the firelight and his lips look plump and very inviting.

My body feels the drag of the magnetism it has for him. I guess it’s kind of natural since I have such a strong thing for his brother to have some kind of attraction to Reed as well.

I suppose it’s natural…

“I want you to know you can tell me anything, Jenna. Anything at all. If you need my help, I’m here for you. You should really think about college. You can take online classes. I can help you. I want to help you.” His eyes dance as he looks at me. “Are you really happy with my brother?”

I look back at the fire. “Of course, I am.”

“Will you be happy letting him take care of you forever?”

Being twenty years old does have me thinking of a future for myself. But Rod is adamant that I must be available for him at all times. If not, then he’ll find another female to take care of his needs. I can’t stand the thought of that.

“I suppose so. He and I are in it until the end.” I turn my head to look at him.

I find him smiling. “No ring. No marriage. I think you have too much faith in him, Jenna. You don’t know him like I do.”

I look away and think he doesn’t know his brother like I do.

Reed gets up and comes toward me and leans over. My body heats and my lips quiver as he’s so close. But instead of taking me into his arms or kissing me, he picks up the cell phone in my lap and taps in his phone number and name and saves it.

He places it back on my lap and goes back to his lounging position on the love seat. “There, now you have my number. You call me if you need anything. Anything at all. I mean it.”

A smile creeps over my face as I look down at his name and number still glowing on my phone’s screen. “K. Thanks.”

“Baby?” I hear Rod slurring as he looks into the room.

I hit the button to make my phone screen go dark. “Yes, Rod. I’m in here.”

He’s drunk and leans on the door frame. “What are you two doing all alone in here?”

Reed sits up. “Just talking. What are you doing?”

“I’m ready to take my woman home and give her a good old fashioned Christmas fucking.”

I jump up and move quickly to him. “Jesus, Rod!”

Taking him by the arm I pull on him to come with me. Reed gets up and comes to us. “You should stay the night here. You’re pretty drunk, bro.”

Rod runs his hand over my head very clumsily and says, “Nah. What I plan on doing to her will have her screaming my name so staying here is out.”

Reed reaches into Rod’s front pocket and digs out the keys as Rod protests but can’t seem to function enough to stop him. Reed places the keys in my hand. “Let her drive at least.”

Rod smiles. “You want to drive me, Baby?”

“Yes,” I say as I start to pull him along.

“Yes what?” he asks as he stops and stares at me.

I look into his eyes. “Do you remember where you are, Rod? At your family’s home. With your brother looking right at you?”

“Yes, what?” he asks again.

I lean in and whisper, “Yes, Master.”

He smiles and Reed looks at me. I think he heard me even though I said it very quietly. But he makes no remark other than saying, “Bye. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Reed. Have a merry Christmas,” I say as Rod leans his weight on me and I struggle to the door with him.

Reed follows along and helps me get him into the truck. Rod slumps in the passenger side. Reed seatbelts him in then walks with me to the driver’s side. “If he falls asleep just leave him in the truck. He’ll be fine and it won’t be the first time he’s slept in that position.”

“Thank you. I’ll do that.” I open the door and get in and Rod is already snoring.

Reed chuckles. “Looks like you won’t be doing any screaming of his name tonight.”

I look down and go scarlet. “Good night, Reed.”

He shuts the door and I start the truck up and drive home.

To my complete amazement, Rod wakes up just as I turn the truck off at our small house and looks at me with wide eyes. “You two! What the fuck were you doing alone with another man?”

I get out of the truck and go around to help him but he seems to be no longer drunk somehow. He gets out and slams the door. So I hurry to unlock the house and get inside.

He slams the front door closed and locks the door. “Answer me!”

“I was watching the fire, and he came and sat down and we talked about nothing, really. Not a big deal. And he is your brother, Rod. Not some man.”

I turn to walk to our bedroom as he says, “Well, since you were alone with a man and I have no idea what it is you were doing then you need to know I will be alone with some woman and you will have no idea what it is we’re doing.”

I stop and turn back to look at him. “Are you serious? He’s your brother, Rod. Neither of us would do anything to hurt you. Now don’t threaten me with that, please.”

“He’d hurt me. He has before. And I’m not threatening you, Jenna. I will be doing something with some woman. Just know that, Baby. And have a merry fucking Christmas!” Then he falls on the sofa and promptly passes out.

I slam into the bedroom and fall on the bed and cry.

Merry fucking Christmas, indeed!

---

Chapter 5

REED

The first sunrise of the new year and here I am sitting alone in my parents’ backyard.

A swimming pool would look very nice back here…

I’ll make that happen before summer gets here this year. I have a financial secret I’ve been keeping from my entire family. My real estate business has been good.

Well, great actually. I’ve managed to become a billionaire through the sales and investments. But I’ve kept it all very low key.

My mom and dad and even brother aren’t jackals but the rest of my family is and I can see the Manning clan making nuisances of themselves.

Many would think of me as their personal ATM machine. And many would suddenly want to visit me in California. Maybe want to stay at the Bel-Air mansion I just bought a few months ago.

I could see the old trucks driving through the ritzy neighborhood now. Yeah, the neighbors would hate me for sure.

The sliding glass door rumbles open as Mom comes out. Her steaming cup of coffee leaves her in a cloud of fog as she emerges after the nearly all night party they threw for New Year’s Eve.

“Good morning, Sunshine,” I say very quietly because she most likely has a hangover. “Sleep well?”

She takes the lawn chair next to mine and sips her coffee. Bloodshot eyes look at me. “No.”

I smile at her. “Mom, when will you learn not to take shots at your age? Stick with the wine and leave the tough stuff to Rod and his cousins.”

Her lips curve into a smile. “You’ve always called those rowdy boys your brother’s cousins. Never yours. Why is that?”

“They’re nothing like me. All of them are the same. Work only as much as needed. Spend every last dime they manage to make and broke as hell the day before payday. Then drink away half their paycheck on payday. A vicious cycle Rod and his cousins are in.” The sun catches my eye as is rises over the area I’ve decided the pool should go.

“They are your family, Son. You’ve always stayed to yourself so much. You should try to get to know a few of the cousins now that you all are older and all that rivalry is gone.” I watch her sip her coffee and fight a frown.

To become successful, I’ve learned to start each day on positive notes. Thinking about trying to find some common ground with the men in my extended family is not a positive note.

“So, Mom. I’m going to be sending a swimming pool company out here soon. I’d like to have you a pool in by summer. Something nice and large. You have so many parties and I think one would look nice out here in this big backyard.”

“Reed, that would be nice, but way too expensive. I don’t think we can afford it. Not now since your father and I have retired.” She sips her coffee. “Thank you, though.”

“Mom, I have the money to pay cash for it and I’ll pay a pool cleaner to handle the care of it. It’ll be something that doesn’t cost you a cent. By the way, I found this month’s electric bill in the stack of bills you and Dad have. I set up for it to be paid straight out of one of my bank accounts. So don’t go freaking out when no more of those bills come in. I’m taking care of it from now on.” I stretch my legs out and cross them at my ankles.

“I can’t let you do that, Son. Change it back,” she says as she looks over the rim of her old brown coffee mug she’s had since I was a kid.

“Mom, I’m not changing anything back. As a matter of fact, I went down to Doug’s Autoplex and left some money down there. You and Dad can go down this week and both of you can pick out any brand new cars you want. There’s enough money down there for you each to get something you absolutely love. It’s my Christmas present to you guys.”

Her face turns very slowly as she looks at me. “Reed, just how much money have you been making over there in California?”

“Enough,” I say and put my hands behind my head and lean back on them. “I’m going to take care of you and Dad from now on. You need something, you call me. You merely want something, you call me. I’m leaving a bank card with Dad. It’s an account I’ve set up for you guys. I’m having your card sent in the mail. It should be arriving any day now. Use it for all of your expenses. Groceries, whatever you want or need. Got it?”

She puts the cup down on the small table beside her and stands up. Her hair is flat on one side where she slept on it. The silver curls pressed in neat circles against her head.

Mom has light blue eyes. They used to be dark but they’ve faded over the years. Her thin lips part as she asks, “Reed, just how much money are you making now. Tell me the truth.”

“Plenty, Mom. That’s all you need to know. And it’s all legal stuff.” I smile at her and get up. “I’ll make some breakfast for you and Dad. You want me to bring you out some more coffee?”

She shakes her head. “I’m coming inside with you. You have to leave in the morning and I want to spend every minute I can with you before you have to go.”

I slide the noisy glass door back open and make a note to have it replaced then a thought pops into my head. “Why don’t you and Dad find a nice lot and I’ll buy it and have you a house built on it?”

“Nothing doing, Moneybags. Your father bought us this home only three years after we married. We’re going to die in this home.” She sits at the bar and I refill her coffee cup.

“Fine. But I’m going to have someone come and do some repairs and replace a few things.” I go to the fridge and take out the bacon and sausage I bought yesterday. “That glass door is the first thing I want to be replaced. Don’t you think a nice set of French doors would go great there? And once the pool’s in then it’ll look very pretty.”

Mom looks at the glass door and nods. “That would look nice, wouldn’t it?”

Pulling my cell phone out of my blue jean pocket, I text Rod to see if he and Jenna want to join us for breakfast. Before I put it back I see he’s responded with a very short answer, -fuck you, I’m sleeping-

I place the phone on the counter and wait to see if he wakes up a bit and changes his mind. Rod’s always been a real grump in the mornings.

Then Jenna comes into my mind. I wonder how she’s doing this morning. She was so quiet last night at the party. Rod was roaring drunk, again, and she was to herself.

I don’t know why she thinks she has to settle for life with Rod. I glance at Mom who’s gazing around I assume looking at things that need repaired or fixed up some.

“Mom, do you think Rod’s treating Jenna well?” I ask as I fill a pan with strips of bacon.

The way her eyes go droopy all of a sudden answers my question. “Your brother is a hard man. You know that. But maybe Jenna can calm him down. He seems very attached to her. Protective over her, you know?”

“Possessive of her is how I see it. I’ve watched her around him. She’s skittish. She never was before. I used to watch her when we were in high school together. She was a sweet girl with lots of friends. I haven’t heard her talk about any of the girls she used to hang out with. Have you?” I form the sausage into patties and fill another pan full of them.

Mom shakes her head then runs her hand through her silver, short curls. “I have not heard her talk about any of them. When she was in my class in junior high school I do recall her having a lot of friends. She and one girl, in particular, Patty Slater. They were very close. But that family moved if I do recall.”

I nod and ask, “Do you think Rod hurts her?”

Mom shakes her head. “No, Son! Goodness, no! Your father would rip him a new one and you know that.”

“What if he is and Jenna just doesn’t want to tell anyone? Rod used to be very mean, Mom. Do you remember how he was about punishing things when he thought they did wrong? The puppy who peed in the living room when he was ten?” I turn the bacon in the hot pan.

Mom nods and sips her coffee. “We found the poor puppy strung up in the string that opens the window blinds. Rod actually shouted at me when I was cutting the poor thing out of the knots he’d made with the string to hold him off the floor. He told me he was teaching him not to use the bathroom in the house and the puppy had ten more minutes of punishment before he was to be let down. And then he was going to spank the puppy until he thought it had learned.”

A shiver runs through me as I think about another time Rod decided punishment was necessary. I was five and had gone into his bedroom to put some laundry on his bed. Mom had asked me to do it and when I was walking out he came up the hallway and the next thing I knew I was punched in the mouth and locked in his closet.

He left me there, bleeding, crying, and very confused. It seemed like forever before Mom found me and set me free. When I told her what he did she talked to him and he told her he was teaching me to stay out of his bedroom.

Rod’s always been into teaching and not in a good way!

“She asks him before she does anything, Mom,” I say as I pull the cooked bacon out of the pan and place it on a paper towel lined plate.

The sound of Rod’s truck is heard pulling into the driveway and shortly thereafter the front door opens. “Is it ready?” Rod shouts.

“Not quite,” I shout back. “And I thought you were sleeping.”

“So you didn’t make enough?” he asks as he comes into the kitchen, Jenna is quiet and a step behind him. Her head lowered, and she looks pale.

“I’m making more than enough,” I say then look around him at Jenna who’s staying just behind him. “Morning, Jenna. Think you can help me out and put some biscuits on a baking sheet and get them in the oven for me? My hands are kind of full right now.”

She whispers, “Is that okay, Rod?”

Before he can answer, I say, “Of course, it is. Come here.”

“Go,” he says with a gruff voice. “Get me some coffee first.”

“Yes, I will,” she says in a very quiet voice without looking at anyone.

Mom gives me a sideways glance telling me to stay out of it, but I can’t. “So, what have you two been up to this morning?” I take the coffee from the counter before Jenna can and hand it to my brother who looks at me with a slight glare in his steel-blue eyes.

“Not much. It looks like you’ve been up for a while. All showered and dressed. Jenna got up at the fucking crack of dawn too. It bothered the shit out of me as she made racket going in and out of the house. Looking at the fucking sunrise, she said.” He takes his coffee and walks out of the kitchen and into the living room where I hear him turn on the television.

I turn around to say something to Jenna and find her backing up with the tray of biscuits and hit her accidentally on her back with my arm. She doesn’t make a sound but flinches like hell and quickly steps away from me.

“Sorry, Jenna. Did I hurt you?” I take her by the shoulder and gently turn her back to me.

She doesn’t look up at me as she answers, “No, I’m fine. You startled me is all.”

Rod shouts from the living room. “More coffee!”

Jenna hurries to put the biscuits in the oven then grabs the pot and nearly runs to the living room with it to fill the asshole’s cup.

“Lazy, bastard,” I grumble under my breath.

Mom gets up. “I’m going to shower and dress before breakfast. I’ll get your father up too.”

As she leaves the kitchen, Jenna comes back in and places the nearly empty pot in the coffee maker. She takes out the filter full of old coffee grounds and throws it away then gets a new one and fills it with fresh grounds.

I place a jug of spring water on the counter. “You want to use this? It makes better coffee.”

She nods and pours the water into the reservoir. “Thank you.”

I make sure to keep my voice quiet as I ask, “Everything okay, Jen?”

“Yes.” She walks over to check the biscuits. “Would you like me to get the eggs out for you?”

“That would be nice. Thank you.” I try hard not to stare at her as she takes them out of the fridge and places the carton on the counter top. “Can you crack them into a bowl and scramble them for me?”

She nods and gets to work on that. When she reaches up into the overhead cabinet were the bowls are I see her wince again and pull her arm back to her side.

This time, I go to her and run my hand over her shoulder and move her shirt back a little. She kind of freaks out and steps away from me. I take her by the wrist, stopping her and she winces again.

When I look down I see it’s red and I take the other one and see it’s red too. “What’s this about?”

“Nothing.” She looks away. “Normal stuff. I’d rather not discuss it. Rod would hate that.”

I let her go and turn away. “Cuffs?”

“No,” she answers as I reach up and get a bowl and place it on the counter.

“What then?” I ask as I take a whisk from the drawer and place it in the bowl for her.

“Bungee cord. You know a little bondage. Nothing odd.” Her cheeks go pink and she still won’t look at me.

“I don’t think anything is supposed to be so tight it leaves marks and you hurting, Jenna.” I go back to the stove and get the sausages out of the pan and take the empty pan to the sink and grab a new one for the eggs.

“They don’t hurt and the lines will go away in a few hours.” She starts cracking the eggs and putting them into the bowl.

I move next to her and start stirring them with the whisk as she puts them in. “You two do that kind of stuff a lot?”

She shakes her head. “No.”

“Special occasions, I assume.” I look over her shoulder and try to see down the back of her shirt.

I’m sure I’d see something on her back if I could just see down it.

Then she looks up at me and her lips part. Then they close again and she looks down. “Yes, only now and then. You know, normal fun. Nothing odd.”

She’s said normal and odd way too many times so I push it a little more. “You still have my number if you need anything. And I’m going to be sending you some information on Arizona State University. Rod doesn’t have to know a thing. You can do the classes while he’s at work.”

She takes the now empty carton and goes to the trash then comes back to my side and whispers, “Okay.” Then she walks away leaving me feeling off balanced.

She comes back with Rod’s empty coffee cup and as she’s refilling it I deiced to make a daring and risky move. I walk up behind her and run my hands from her shoulders down her arms and lean in close. “This will be our secret, okay?”

Without turning back, she whispers, “Okay. Thank you.”

I step back and she leaves the kitchen and I find my hands buzzing from the contact with her soft skin.

My body reacts to her more than it ever has to anyone. And I am left with such a want for her. I have to readjust my jeans as my cock sprang to life with the electricity that shot through me when I felt her skin beneath my palms.

Why does she have to be with my brother?

---

Chapter 6

JENNA

The porcelain is cold against my cheek as Rod has me bent over the sink in the men’s bathroom at the garage he works at. He called me thirty minutes ago and told me to come over here or he was going to fuck the new girl here who answers the phones.

Apparently this man will put his dick into anything with a fucking pulse as that woman is on the heavy side and completely unattractive.

He holds me down with one hand and with the other he holds my waist as he pounds into me from behind. I don’t know what set him off, but he’s in a terrible mood and didn’t want to talk.

Just fuck!

I cut my eyes up and see him looking into the mirror as he pounds into me. He’s watching himself and gritting his teeth as he grunts with every hard thrust.

He’s filled with angst for some reason and it fills me with sorrow for him. I close my eyes and try to find some pleasure in this.

I’ll be expected to climax and at this point, I’m nowhere near it. I listen to the guttural noises he’s making and focus on how his hard cock is moving in and out of me.

Our skin slaps against the other’s with every hard thrust and then he moves his hand off my back and runs it over my ass. My skirt is flipped up, and he ripped my panties off me earlier. They lay in the trash can only a few feet away from me.

He smacks my ass three times, and it sends my body into a shiver as it knows he’s about to cum. And my body knows it has to join him.

Then he leans over me as he slams into me. His teeth graze my neck. “You like this Bitch? You like my hard cock filling up your tight pussy?”

“Yes, Master.”

“You’re lucky you came when I told you to or this thick cock would be buried in the fat pussy on the other side of this door. You want that?” He bites my neck hard then sucks it and I know it will leave a purple mark.

“I do not want that, Master.” My legs begin to shake as for reasons I cannot understand my body wants to climax with how he’s talking to me.

Heat fills my ear with his breath and then his wet tongue goes into it. “When I tell you to come, I want you to scream my name out as loud as you can and pant loud too. I want the whole shop to know I’m fucking you in here.”

My body freezes. That’s too humiliating. I shake my head. “That’s not in our contract. Please don’t ask me to do that.”

His cheek is pressed to mine, the whiskers rake my tender flesh as he says, “If you don’t do as I say then I will string your ass up for three hours when I get home. I bought some nipple clamps and a new collar. A full collar and I’ll make you hang there with those on for three fucking hours. Now do as I say and know when I come home today, I’m putting you over my lap and spanking that ass while I finger fuck you for talking back to me.”

“Yes, Master,” I say and close my eyes and try to go to another place in my head so I can do as he’s told me to.

Then he adds the kicker, “Plus I’ll fuck Shamu after you leave if you don’t. That bitch has been giving me the eye since she came to work here three days ago. You need to show her you’re taking care of my needs. Get me?”

“Yes, Master,” I say and feel bile rising in my throat.

He moves faster and harder and then his body goes rigid. “Cum!” he says.

I let my body go and scream, “Rod! God! Rod! Fuck!” I pant loud and moan loud. “Fuck me, Rod! You're amazing!”

“That’s enough,” he says as he pulls out of me. “Don’t go overboard or they’ll think you’re acting.”

I kind of was!

I stand up and pull my dress back down and he puts himself back into his pants. He looks down at the trash can and then back at me. “Grab those and toss them into the trash can by her desk.”

I shake my head. “Rod, I’m not that girl. Please.”

His eyebrows arch as he looks at me. “You’re the fucking kind of girl I tell you to be. Now do as I say and for your insubordinate behavior I will be using the thick collar and nipple rings when I spank you later on.”

I take the ripped red panties and wad them up in my hand. Then follow him out of the bathroom.

There are two other mechanics lingering between the bay and the waiting room. At least there are no customers waiting. There’s the chubby chic staring at us as she sits at the dirty desk littered with papers.

As I follow Rod by her desk, I toss the panties into the trash can and can’t bear to look at her as I do it. Rod turns his head just slightly to make sure I’ve done it then he reaches back and takes my hand in his.

As we get to the front door which is made entirely of glass, he pulls me around in front of him and presses me against the wall next to the door. Then he presses himself against me and kisses me hard.

His hand runs down my leg and he lifts it as he grinds his dick against me. Then he slowly lets it go and runs his hand up my waist and ends the kiss. He leans his forehead to mine. “Thanks for lunch, Baby.”

“You’re welcome,” I whisper.

Then he steps back and pushes the door open and I go through it and jump as he smacks my ass. “See you at home, Girl.”

I smile and nod then turn to walk away. Going back home with no panties on and holding the bottom of my short dress so it won’t blow up and show my ass to our small town.

Tears blur my vision as I walk.

This isn’t me. I’m not this person.

The wooden stairs creak as I walk up the old stairs to our small house. The white boards which make up the outside wall are worn, and the frequent sand storms have knocked quite a bit of paint off them.

I turn and look at the neighborhood we live in. All small, little, wood-framed houses. All old and in need of a paint job. All very depressing.

Going inside, I hear the beeping sound of the dryer and go straight to get the clothes out of it. It’s a load of Rod’s work uniforms and I lay them on top of the dryer then get the ironing board out and set the iron on it and plug it in and turn it on.

Then I go to take a quick shower and change my clothes. I turn on only the cold water and quickly undress and get in. The water feels good against my cheek where his beard scratched it.

The sweet smell of the apple scented shampoo Rod only allows us both to use brings me to a better place after the smell of the men’s room at the oily smelling garage.

Urine and oil don’t make a very sexy aroma.

After I rinse my hair out, I turn the water off and grab a towel and wrap it around me. In the bedroom I find another dress and pull it on and a new pair of panties.

I don’t wear a bra unless I’m going somewhere, per Rod’s rules. Then I go to iron his clothes and then I’ll hang them up and wait for him to get home.

My heart aches as well as my stomach as the man always stays true to his words. He will administer the punishment and for the life of me I don’t know why I can’t learn to keep my mouth shut and just do what he says to.

It’s not as if people in this town haven’t seen the way Rod treats women. Of course, he’d be like that with me. I do live with the man after all.

Yet it’s still embarrassing and I can’t stand how people look at me. With sorrow in their eyes.

After the clothes are ironed and hung up, I take the small pile of his socks and underwear and go to the sofa with them to fold them.

And then it starts. The flood of emotion. I sniffle as the tears fall down my cheeks in rivers.

Every once in a while I sob and run the back of my hand over my cheeks and nose. Rod says it’s good for me to cry. He says it means I’m learning.

Yet he sees crying as a weakness and refuses to get in touch with his emotions to grow stronger the way he’s telling me I have to do.

A knock at the door startles me. “Who is it?” I manage to croak out.

“Sue, Sweetheart.”

I hurry to wipe my eyes and take a sock and blow my nose then go to the door. As I open it I can see her expression is confused.

“Come in,” I say and push the screen door open.

She comes inside and hugs me. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Huh?” I run my fingertips under my eyes. “Nothing.”

Sue takes my hand and pulls me to sit on the sofa next to her. “Jenna, why have you been crying?”

She moves the pile of socks and underwear off to one side and looks at me as she holds both of my hands. And I don’t know what to say to her.

Do I tell her that I’m ashamed of myself for fucking her son in the men’s room at his job so he wouldn’t fuck the new girl at work? Do I tell her I’m dreading when he comes home and doles out the punishment for daring to say I didn’t want to scream out his name as I came or toss my torn panties into the trash next to the woman who wants him?

I search her eyes. Eyes that remind me of Reed’s so much. They’re lighter now. They used to be dark blue like Reed’s are.

“I’m about to start my period. I always get emotional around this time of the month,” I say.

“I see,” she says as she looks hard into my eyes. “No other reason?”

I shake my head and the door flies open and Rod comes in and slams the door behind him. “Mom, what are you doing here?”

She gets up and hugs him. “Hello to you too, Son.”

He looks at me with a cold stare. Then gently pushes his mother away from him. “Beer, Jenna.”

I jump up and run to the kitchen. “Sorry, you’re two hours early.”

Sue asks as she sits back down, “What’s she sorry for, Rod?”

“She’s sorry she didn’t have a beer waiting for me when I walked in.”

I hurry back to him with the opened beer bottle. “Here, Sweetie.”

He sits in his chair and I hand it to him. “Boots.”

I kneel and begin to unlace the oily boots and try hard not to pay attention to Sue looking at me with her jaw hanging open. “Rod, you’re more than capable of doing that yourself!”

“It’s part of our deal, Mom. I work hard to provide for us and she takes care of the house and me.” He takes a long drink of the beer. “What has you stopping by unannounced?” Then he looks at me. “Or did she tell you she was coming over and you didn’t say a thing to me about it, Jenna?”

Before I can say anything, Sue comes to my rescue. “Rod, I didn’t tell her either! My goodness, Son! Can’t I stop by? I was in the neighborhood dropping off a casserole to your aunt Betty. She’s down with a virus and she only lives two streets over. So I thought I’d stop by and visit Jenna. Do you have a problem with that?”

As I pull off the last boot he says, “I do, actually. I like to come home and chill.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Sue asks him as she grabs up the laundry and gets up.

“Let her do it, Mom.” Rod gives me a look and I jump up off the floor and hurry to take the clothes from her.

“I’m sure he puts these in the top drawer the same way I’ve always done it at home. I don’t mind.” She tries to hold on to the clothes but I manage to pry them away from her.

“No,” I say as I walk away with the clothes. “He keeps them somewhere else. I’ll do it.”

If she would’ve opened that drawer she’d have fainted with what she would see in it. Collars, leather straps, along with other assorted things he uses on me.

“Mom, Jenna and I have things to do. I’m sure Dad needs you at home,” I hear him tell her.

“God! Fine, I’m leaving. Bye, Jenna.”

I go back out and give her a hug. “Bye, Sue.”

She gives Rod a look. “Bye, Son. I’ll call next time.”

“You do that,” he says. “Bye.” He pulls the brown bottle to his lips as I walk her out.

She gives me a look just before I close the door. So I smile. “See you on Sunday for brunch, Sue.”

She nods and goes to get into her new car.

I go back inside and find Rod looking at me. “Lock the door.”

I do as he’s said then turn back to him. “Look, I’m sorry for talking back to you today. I had a difficult time with what you wanted but I understand now and that won’t happen again. I don’t feel like a punishment is necessary as I completely understand now.”

Rod sets the bottle on the table next to him and pats his leg. I go to him and he pulls me to sit on his lap. His fingers twirl a piece of my hair. “So you understand, do you?”

I nod and he moves his hand underneath my dress. He pushes my panties to the side and his finger goes inside me. He looks at me as he pumps it inside me then he turns it over and hits my G-spot.

I grip his shoulders and take in a sharp breath as my body wants to climax. He looks into my eyes. “Don’t.” His finger wiggles and it sends waves through me.

My fingers sink into his flesh as I try hard not to cum. He wiggles his finger more and then it just happens and I cum. I gasp as it happens. “I’m sorry!”

“Why?” He looks at me as he pulls his finger out of me and puts it in his mouth. “Didn’t that feel good?”

“It did, but you didn’t give me permission to.” My heart is pounding in my chest. I have no idea what he’s going to do about this.

“That bitch didn’t bother me after you left. I overheard her talking to someone on the phone and she said you were a little scary and she had no want to get on your bad side. I heard her say she was going to move on to another one of the mechanics.” His hand runs up my thigh, pulling the dress with it.

“That’s good then,” I say and run my hands through his hair.

He nods. “Yes, it is. Seems I’m teaching you how to be a woman, Jenna. And I want to show you how proud I am of you. I’m even proud of you for standing up for yourself with me. That’s what I want from you. To grow into the woman, I need.”

He gets up and carries me to the bedroom. I unbutton the buttons on his dirty blue work shirt with his name embroidered in white on the upper left side of it. He caresses my cheek as I push it off his broad shoulders.

“You’re beautiful, Jenna.” His lips touch my cheek.

I unbutton his pants and push them down. They fall around his ankles and I pull his underwear down and he steps out of the pile. Then I take his hand and lead him to the shower.

Turning it on and letting it heat up, I pull the dress off over my head and push my panties off. Then I take his hand and get into the shower, pulling him in behind me.

The apple shampoo I pour into my palm and run my hands over his ash blonde hair and over the beard he’s been growing. He gazes at me with those steely blue eyes.

I can see the love in them. He doesn’t have to tell me the words. I can see them in his eyes from time to time.

Gently I push his head back and rinse out the shampoo and when I bring his head back up he takes my wrists and pulls me to him. His mouth falls soft on mine and he moves me to the side and presses me up against the wall.

My hands run over his muscled back as he runs his hands down and takes my ass in them. His cock slides into my soft center as my legs wrap around him.

He moves slow and easy as we kiss. Our tongues moving around the other’s in a lazy fashion.

It’s times like these that cement the bond between us. It’s when he lets his soft side out that shows me who he really is and with time will become.

His movements grow faster and he takes his mouth from mine and begins to pant as his need grows. Faster and harder he goes then he whispers, “Cum whenever you feel like it, Baby.”

My heart grows with the love I have for him and I kiss his neck and run my tongue up and down it. When I feel him go stiff I let my orgasm go and we moan at the same time as our bodies unite in the middle.

I want to tell him I love him so damn bad. I won’t though. That would ruin this and I don’t want anything to ruin it.

After his cock stops jerking and pulsing, he lets me down and eases out of me. With one look I know he does love me.

And this is why I stay…

---

Chapter 7

JENNA

Two weeks ago a laptop computer was sent to me anonymously. The package came to my parents’ address and Mom called and told me I had something there.

I called Reed who told me he was the one who sent it and I was to click on the Arizona State Icon when I turned it on. He’d set everything up for me somehow.

He enrolled me into the college. Setting me up in the basic classes and paying for it with a scholarship from his business.

I’ve been doing the work online the last couple of weeks and hiding the laptop from Rod in the top of the closet every day before he gets home.

I’m loving taking the classes and using my brain for the first time since I graduated almost three years ago. And with my twenty-first birthday coming up, I’m feeling like I’m really doing something for myself. For my future.

And I have Reed Manning to thank for that.

I open up my math class on my computer and see the grades for last week’s test have been posted. I open up the grade book and see a perfect score there. I jump off the sofa and dance around while wiggling my ass.

Then I grab my cell phone and type in a quick text to Reed. -Wanted to let you know I made a perfect score on my math test. Thank you so much. This is so appreciated-

I don’t even get the phone sat back down and hear the ping of a text. I look and see he’s texted back. -Jenna, I’m so happy to hear that. You should give me a call if you can-

I look at the words then hit the button to call him. My heart’s beating all fast and I pace around.

“Hey, Girl!” his deep voice meets my ears.

My stomach gets a little wobbly. “Hi, Reed.”

“Way to go on the math test. How are the other classes going?” he asks.

His voice is so deep and smooth and very sexy. It gives me chills and sends desire straight through me. I shake that off and say, “I’m doing great in all of them. I’m trying hard to make you glad you gave the scholarship to me. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me. So how’s everything else going?” he asks.

“Fine.” I go to the window as I hear something and pull the curtain back and see Rod pulling into the driveway three hours early. “Shit!”

“Something wrong, Jenna?”

“Rod’s home early. I have to go and hide the computer. I’ll text you sometime. Thanks again, Reed.” I haul ass to grab the computer.

Reed says, “Delete this phone call and the texts, Jenna. Hurry. Bye.”

I stop and do what he’s said to. And manage to get that accomplished when Rod throws the door open. I put the phone down on the coffee table just in time but his eyes are on the laptop.

“What’s that?” he asks as he nods toward it.

“Oh, that? Uh, well, my parents gave it to me. No big deal. I was just on this little social media thingy. A lot of my old school girlfriends have accounts and I was talking to them. Kind of like exchanging notes.” I pick it up and start to walk to the bedroom with it when his hand takes my shoulder and pulls me back to him.

“Let me see it.” His words are sharp and I hold it to my chest like a sacred book.

“Rod, it’s really fragile.”

His eyes narrow. “Let me see it.”

With a heavy heart, I hand it to him and he pulls it open. “I don’t want you on social media. Bad things happen on any of them. And no good ever comes from having one of these things.”

Horror fills me as he snaps the lid back and the cracking of the screen screeches as he breaks it. I fall to my knees in front of him. “Rod! How could you? That was mine. It was expensive!”

I start crying as the pieces of the computer fall on the pea green shag carpeting from the seventies that covers our living room floor. “Stop crying, Jenna, or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

He walks away as I pick up the broken pieces of what would’ve been my future. His voice is loud as he shouts, “Beer, Jenna! Now!”

I stand up with what’s left of the computer and walk into the kitchen and toss it into the trash as I don’t even attempt to stop crying.

He’s gone too far!

Getting a beer, I walk back to find him sitting in his chair. He’s looking straight ahead and I move the beer in my hand and throw it like a football, straight at the side of his head.

He moves just in time to avoid it hitting him and then he’s up and has me by my hair. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he screams.

I fight as he drags me to the bedroom and rips the dress off me. Then my panties and I fight him as hard as I can. He never lets go of my hair as he drags me over next to the dresser and grabs the bungee cord.

Then he has me face down on the bed and sits on my back as he pulls my hands over my head. I kick and thrash under him. He binds my hands with the cord then he lifts me up and hooks the cord over the hook on the wall.

I’m shrieking and crying and trying to kick backwards and trying to move myself in a way that will get me off this hook.

“Stop crying!” he yells as the belt slices through the air and lands on my ass.

I shriek louder with the lash but don’t stop crying. I’m not crying from the pain of the strike. I’m crying in absolute anger.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more angry in my life. “Fuck you, Rod!”

Another hard hit has me screaming louder. “Stop crying, Jenna!”

Then my body falls limp against the wall and I sob like I never have before. I can barely breath as he hits me over and over and every time he shouts for me to stop crying.

I don’t feel any pain at all. I’m numb. My brain is numb and my body is numb and I finally stop crying.

I close my eyes as he takes me down and throws me onto the bed. He leaves the room and comes back with the ointment and rubs it all over my ass.

It doesn’t matter, I can’t feel it, anyway. I lie there on the bed and know I can’t do this anymore.

Then I hear something I’ve never heard before.

I turn over and find Rod on his knees beside the bed. His face is in his hands and I think he’s crying.

I sit up and blink as I can’t believe what I’m seeing. There are no words. And there is a flash of something that shoots through me.

“Rod? What are you doing?”

When he lifts his face out of his hands I see the first tears I’ve ever seen come out of his eyes, my heart breaks into a million pieces.

What have I done to him?

I go to him and wrap my arms around him as he sobs. “Jenna, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

He stands up, pushing me away from him. Then he pulls open the drawer of his nightstand and pulls out the paper which binds us together.

Our contract!

“What are you doing, Rod?”

My body is trembling as I watch him hold the paper up. His eyes are rimmed red and his deep voice is shaky as he says, “I’m tearing this up. You can leave if you want to.”

Something snaps inside me. I get up and reach out for the paper. The paper I’ve lived my life by for the last few years. “No.”

He looks at me with tears running down his face. “I have to, Jenna. I’ve worked on you for over two years and you came at me like a tiger. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He takes the paper and begins to tear the top of it.

“Stop! Don’t. I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please, don’t let this be the end of us, Rod. Please.” I fall to my knees and wrap my arms around his legs. “Please, Rod. I’ll do anything. Don’t end this. I’m begging you.”

“Jenna, this isn’t working and you know it.” His hand runs over my head. “You were not cut out for life the way I want it.”

“I can be. I’ve come so far, Rod. Don’t quit on me now. Please.”

I look up at him and it kills me to know I’ve made him cry. He sits on the bed and I climb onto his lap and we both take the paper in our hands.

It’s all we have. There is no marriage. There is no talk of love. This is it.

I gently take it from him and put it back in the drawer. My lips touch his cheek then I tell him, “Forever, remember, Rod. That paper binds us forever.”

I move off his lap and take his boots off as he looks down and seems so sad and somewhat broken.

After I get his boots off, I take off his shirt and then undo his pants and pull at him to stand up. “Come on, Baby. Let me give you a bath and then I’ll rub you down with some oils and after that I’ll make you some meatloaf.”

He follows me but I feel something missing. The cockiness, the control, the strength.

And it makes me sick to my stomach that I did this to him.

What’s wrong with me?

---

Chapter 8

JENNA

The months have passed since our fight and things haven’t been the same. Rod’s been passive and I feel like it’s only a matter of time until he ends this.

I broke something in him that day and it looks like no matter how hard I try to get things back to normal between us, I can’t.

I told Reed about the broken computer and he said to use one at the library so that won’t happen again. He told me to be very careful as he’s afraid if Rod catches me doing this then he might hurt me, physically.

He told me to tell him if he does.

It made me feel bad for not being truthful with him. He’s doing so much for me and I’m lying to him. It feels wrong.

On a good note, I’m acing my classes and was able to take a few tests that gave me credit without having to take the actual classes.

Seems I am smart!

As I close out the tab for my English class on the library’s computer my cell rings. It’s Rod so I hurry to answer it. “Hey, Sweetie.”

“Where the fuck are you, Jenna?” He sounds pissed.

I hurry out of the library as the librarian looks over her glasses at me with a scowl on her wrinkled old face. I try my best to ignore her and hurry out. “I’m on my way home. I took a walk. I was feeling kind of cooped up and needed some fresh air.”

And as I go around the corner, I see him standing there, looking at me. I put the phone in my purse. He puts his in his pants pocket. Then his arm goes around my shoulders.

“In the library. Not out for a walk in the fresh air,” his words are controlled and tight. “Lies, Jenna.”

“I wanted to find a book to read too. I was doing a few things on my walk, Rod.” I laugh and try to act cool about things.

“Someone, your mother I suppose, left a letter for you taped to our front door. A letter from Arizona State University. Seems congratulations are in order, Jenna. You managed to gain six credits for classes you tested for. How wonderful is that news?” He stops and turns me to look at him.

“I was able to get into the college’s online program. I got financial aid to pay for the classes. I was going to tell you. I wanted to surprise you, Rod. I wanted you to be proud of me.” My words are coming out very fast and my heart is racing.

“Did my brother talk you into doing this behind my back?”

“Reed?” the name comes out high and shrill. “No! I don’t talk to him.”

“Then who?” His arm leaves my shoulder as we get to our little house and he moves his hand up into my hair.

“I did this on my own, Rod.”

Then he has me by the hair and lifts my feet off the ground then puts me back down so hard I fall. Then he drags me through the yard.

I don’t fight or scream. I try to get my feet under me so my body doesn’t drag any more than possible. My knees are burning as the ground scrapes the flesh from them.

The old woman from next door looks outside and shouts for him to stop. But Rod seems not to hear her. He lets my hair go and I fall to the ground. “Get up, Bitch!”

I try to get up and as soon as I do he pushes me back down. “Get up!”

I scramble to my feet once again and keep my head low. I stand still.

“Come here,” he says with a low and firm tone.

I go to him and he pushes me back so hard, I fly a few feet then fall on my ass.

Sirens fill the air as one of the three cops we have in this tiny town skids to a stop at the front of our house. He jumps out of the car and takes his gun out and points it at Rod. “On the ground, Rod!” he shouts.

The fall on my ass knocked the breath out of me and I struggle to get my wind as I watch Rod fall to his knees with his hands behind his head then he slowly goes to his stomach and lies face down in the dirt of our front yard.

The officer walks up to him and holsters his handgun then takes out a set of handcuffs.

With a cough, my breath returns and I shout, “No! Don’t do that to him!”

I get up and stumble over to the officer. He looks up at me from his kneeling position behind Rod. “Look, I’m taking him in. Your knees are bleeding and a few other places on you are as well.”

“Please, let him go. This is my fault. I was lying to him. I’ll take what I have coming to me for that.” I give the cop a pleading look.

He shakes his head as I see the dirt move near Rod’s mouth. “Let him take me away, Jenna. My heart is broken. I may as well sit in jail after what you’ve done to me.”

I break down crying hard and go to my bloody knees in front of him. “Please, don’t take him, Sir!”

Tears pour out of my eyes as the cop just shakes his head. He looks at me. “You sure about this?”

I nod. “Please, Sir. I am sure.”

He stands up and says, “Okay, Rod. She saved your ass. I hope you repay the favor. If I get called back out here for any domestic situation I’m taking you both in.”

Rod rolls over on his back as the cop walks away. Tears fill his eyes again. Only the second time I’ve seen this.

Then he holds out his arms and I go into them.

Right there in the front of the little home we’ve made, he takes me into his arms and we cry together. He keeps murmuring to me that he’s so sorry and I say it right back to him.

“Let’s go inside, Baby,” he says and I climb off his lap and hold out my hand for him.

He takes it and I help him to his feet then he picks me up in his arms and carries me inside. In the bathroom, we both get washcloths and wet them and I clean the dirt off him and he cleans the dirt and blood off me.

He puts some antibiotic ointment on my knees and kisses the bandages after covering the scrapes. Then he picks me up and carries me to the bed and sits me on it.

I watch as he goes to the top dresser drawer and he takes out all the devices he has in there and the leather belts and carries them out of the room. I hear the squeaking of the trash can lid and then he comes back in with a screwdriver and takes the hook off the wall.

My stomach is tight as I think he may be about to tear up the contract. I don’t say a word as he comes back and touches my chin. “No more punishments.”

My eyes go wide. “What does that mean?”

“It means your training is over. When it came down to it, you kept your head and told the cop to let me go. You know who you belong to. You know how to keep my dick out of other women and out of jail and in your life. You’re done. And now we can move on to the next step.” He climbs onto the bed, pushing me back as he does.

I fall back as he straddles me then leans over and kisses me. Soft and easy. Different.

We both stink like sweat, blood, and tears and never have I felt more comfortable with a person. The salt of our combined tears I can taste on his lips and I know he can taste them on mine.

Our relationship has seemed a little like a level of hell. But it seems that level has been passed and the sweet taste of victory is ours now.

Somehow our clothes are removed and we’re nothing but flesh against flesh and it feels freeing and amazing. His hands move over my skin like water over pebbles.

His muscles ripple with every stroke and his mouth coaxes my tongue to slip further into his mouth than I ever have before. His cock moves further into me as he takes my ass in his hands and pulls me up to him.

Short strokes have our bodies connecting in a way we haven’t before and in no time I can feel the wave building in me as his body pushes against my clit.

Faster and faster he makes the little pumps and then it hits me and I moan with the sweet pleasure. He keeps doing it until I’m a writhing mess beneath him.

Then he stops his kiss and looks at me as he cums. His liquid heat fills me as our eyes remain locked.

If I wasn’t on the pill this man would’ve just gotten me pregnant. Of that, I have no doubt. And I have never felt closer to him than I do now.

His lips quirk to the side. “You are mine, Jenna. You will always be mine.”

I press my fingertips to his full lips. “I will always be yours, Rod.”

Staying on top of me, he reaches over and picks something up. It’s the letter from the college.

I wait to see what he’s going to say or do and he touches the tip of my nose with the envelope. “I want you to know that I’m proud of you for this. Keep going if you want. I think it’s cool to have a smart old lady.”

Wrapping my arms around him, I bury my face in his chest. “Thank you! You have no idea what your approval means to me.”

“Your happiness means everything to me, Jenna.” His lips press against my temple and he rolls over, keeping me with him.

I look down at him and see a difference in his blue eyes. A little softness I’ve never seen before.

I lay down on his wide chest as his dick is still inside me and his arms are holding me to him. My eyes close and his breathing steadies.

We fall asleep in a position we’ve never fallen asleep in before and things feel different.

Things feel better!

Chapter 9

JENNA

Greens and reds leave the Manning’s living room in a Christmas colored hue. Lights flash on the huge Christmas tree which is strategically placed by the new bay window in the front of the room.

Christmas evening is set aside for only immediate family. This is the first year I’ve attended the dinner with Rod. I suppose I’m getting to be like family in his eyes.

Since the incident, that’s what we all call it, Rod, and I have gotten along better than I ever expected. He no longer goes out. He comes home right after work and takes off his own boots, gets his own beer, and takes his own shower.

I’m usually still busy with schoolwork when he gets home. In the corner of the living room, I’m usually at work where I’ve set up a desk and use the laptop he bought me to do my classes.

It’s normal now. A great normal.

Sitting in the living room on the sofa, I gaze at the tall tree and think about one day having a house big enough to have a real tree for our own Christmas.

We have a tiny fake tree that sits on the kitchen table. The house is just too little for anything more grand than that.

Rod and Reed are cleaning the kitchen and refused to let me help after their mother and father prepared a very yummy Christmas dinner of a not so traditional meal of sausage and potatoes with green beans mixed in with them. A side of cornbread rounded out the filling yet inexpensive dinner.

I found out it was the very first Christmas meal Sue and Jason had in their first year of marriage when they were both broke college students living in a tiny efficiency apartment in Tempe, Arizona, where they both went to college and met each other.

Jason’s family was from here. Jerome, Arizona had always been his home and when they graduated, they moved back here and started teaching.

So this little odd meal is a tradition and as we were eating Rod made mention that he’d like us to carry the tradition on with our family, once we have one.

I noticed Reed’s eyes cutting at me when his brother said that. He looked a little unsure for some reason. Like Rod and I making a family wasn’t ever going to happen.

A thought which seems ludicrous to me. Of course, Rod and I will have a family someday.

Sure, he still won’t let me say the word love and he won’t use it either. But I can see it in his eyes. And feel it in his touch.

He’s different now. A great different.

I think he could break down and say the word anytime now. And if for some reason it’s a thing which can never break free from his lips then I can accept that.

Reed comes into the living room, wiping his hands with a dishrag and running his deep blue eyes over me as I sit here. “So, how did you like your first Manning family Christmas dinner, Jenna?”

“It was great,” I say with a smile. “When will you be bringing a woman home to join us, Reed?”

He looks away. “Not anytime soon. I just can’t seem to find Mrs. Right. There are plenty of Mrs. Right Now’s, though.” He laughs and Rod comes in behind him.

He claps Reed on the back. “Still playing the field then, little bro?”

Reed nods. “For now, I am. I’m only Twenty-three. No need to rush. I’m not an old man like you are, Rod. At twenty-six, you’re nearing the terrible thirties.”

Sue and Jason come in from the backyard. They wanted to take a Christmas night dip in the swimming pool Reed bought them.

Clad in matching, fluffy, white robes with their names embroidered in royal blue, they smile like newlyweds as they come in. Sue shakes some water from her silver, short curls. “Thanks to Reed, we swim every night. It gets the old blood pumping. Adding in the heat to it was genius, Son.”

Jason sits down in a chair and pulls Sue to sit on his lap. “Can’t thank you enough, Boy.”

Reed gives them a smile and a nod and Rod comes to sit next to me. He takes my hand then moves to the floor in front of me as he takes something from his pocket.

The fact he’s only on one knee has my heart racing. A quick glance at his parents shows me his mother is covering her mouth with her hands and his father is smiling.

My eyes roam over to find Reed looking at his brother with what looks like a clenched jaw. His body is tense and his eyes are a bit narrow.

Then I look back at Rod and see the diamond in the middle of the ring shining in alternate green then red lights as the Christmas lights reflect off of it.

His hand is shaking as he holds the little black box. “Jenna Foster,” his words come out very soft and quiet. So quiet I can barely hear him. “Will you marry me?”

For some reason, I look away from his glistening eyes for a split second and see Reed still staring at his brother. Then I look back into the man I love’s steely blue eyes and say, “Yes, I will marry you, Rod.”

I hold out my hand and he slides the ring onto my finger and lets out a breath. “It fits! I was so worried it wouldn’t.”

A laugh comes out of me and I blink back tears. And out of the corner of my eye I see Reed leave the room. It makes me feel bad for some reason.

Rod stands and picks me up in his arms. He hugs me and then kisses me. A soft kiss. A kiss that tells me more than he can say.

He loves me!

When he lets me go, I find his mom and dad waiting to hug us and his dad grabs him up as his mother grabs me then they exchange us and I feel like a real part of their family.

“This is so fantastic,” Sue says as she holds Rod back and looks at him with tears in her eyes. “You couldn’t have found a better woman for you, Son. Since you’ve been with Jenna you’ve come such a long way from the moody child and teenager you were. She’s been a very good influence on you. Congratulations.”

And with her words I see a flash of anger in his eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t give her all the credit, Mom.”

Then Jason adds, “I’d give her most of it.” He laughs, but it doesn’t soften what seems like a blow to Rod it looks like.

Then his eyes cut to me. “Is that what you think too?”

I laugh and shake my head. “It’s Rod who has been the influence on me, in my opinion. He’s made me into the woman I am today.”

The smile returns to his face. I guess as long as I see him as the hero is all that matters to him. “Thanks, Baby.”

Sue pulls Rod toward the kitchen. “Let’s grab that bottle of pink Champagne I picked up for New Year’s Eve and open it. This is more special than that day, anyway.”

Jason follows along and I go to the bathroom to make sure I don’t have mascara running down my face from the tears I shed when he asked me the big question.

After dabbing a bit of water on my face and wiping away the streaks the tears made down my pink cheeks I walk out of the bathroom and find Reed leaning against the door of his bedroom.

“Hey,” he says. He wiggles his finger at me, gesturing for me to come to him.

I go and ask, “What’s up?”

After he looks down the hallway I suppose to make sure no one is there, he asks, “Is this really what you want, Jenna?”

“Of course, Reed. Why wouldn’t I. You know he’s changed. You know he’s okay with me getting my education now. He’s really different. I told you this.”

My body feels like it’s been zapped with electricity as his hand touches my shoulder. “Jenna this is always how Rod’s been. He can be very good for a year or two at a time. But never any longer than that. He will go back to the way he was. He always has.”

“I haven’t always been a part of his life, though.”

“You’re great and all, but there is no one who can keep him from the self-destruction he’s always been known for. Not even a little angel like you, Jenna.” He moves his hand off me and the energy he sent through me starts to go away.

“I’m going to try, Reed.” I look into his eyes and see so much he’s not saying. “Is there any other reason I shouldn’t marry him, Reed?”

He takes in a deep breath and runs his hand over my cheek and my knees go weak. “I don’t see him getting married, Jenna. You’ve said it yourself, he doesn’t believe in marriage. I know he made the grand gesture and I think you’ll be waiting forever to get him down the actual aisle.”

I don’t know why my body reacts to this man’s touch the way it does. I know I love Rod. I absolutely know it. But when Reed touches me I heat and melt inside.

I can’t stop looking at his lips. They’re perfect. A slight dip in the top lip makes it look a little like a bow. And the cleft in his strong chin is a thing I’ve never really paid that much attention to before.

It’s so cute and then I say without thinking, “I hope one of our children has that dimple in their chin like you have. Does it run on your mother’s side of the family? I’ve never seen one on anyone of your family members from around here.”

With a smile, he answers, “My maternal grandfather had one.”

I touch it with my fingertip and smile as I feel heat flow through me. But I fight the feeling. “Good. Maybe one of our kids will get it then.”

“Maybe one of our kids will,” he says then winks at me.

I hear Sue calling for him and turn. “We better go drink to the impending nuptials, don’t you think?”

“Tell Mom I’m going to bed.” He turns to go back in his room.

“Reed?”

He turns back. “Yeah?”

“I think everything is going to be okay. I don’t think you’re right about him.”

His smile is weak. “I hope you’re right, Jenna. I’d hate to see you hurt.”

I turn and walk down the dark hallway to the kitchen and find Rod has downed his first glass of Champagne. “Yuk!” he says then puts the empty glass down. “If I would’ve sipped that like you said to, Mom, I’d never have gotten it down.”

Sue hands me a glass full of the pink bubbly stuff and I take a sip. “I have to agree with Rod. Yuk!”

He pulls out a couple of beers from the fridge and opens one and hands it to me then opens his and taps the tops together. “Here’s to me and you, Baby.”

“To me and you, Rod.” I tap the tops again and take a drink as I look into his eyes.

I see it there. The commitment. The change.

Reed’s wrong. I know he is. He has to be.

And Rod will stay this way. We will get married. We will have a family.

And I will manage my body and eventually it will stop responding to Reed the way it does.

I love Rod!

End of story. He and I are the ones who are meant to be together. Reed will be my brother-in-law and nothing more than that.

Rod pulls the bottle from his lips. “Where’s my brother?”

Sue starts to leave the kitchen to go find him, so I say, “I saw him as I was leaving the bathroom. He said he’s going to bed.”

Jason looks at his watch. “At ten. Is he feeling well?”

I shrug my shoulders and take another drink. Rod puts his arm around me. “He’s just jealous.”

My body goes tense. “No.”

Rod nods. “He’s always been jealous of me, Baby. No big deal. Whatever I had, he wanted. My big wheel, my G.I. Joe’s, my first car.”

“He doesn’t want me, Rod.” I take another drink.

The laugh that comes from deep in his chest rattles my body and he tightens his hold on me. “The hell he doesn’t. But you belong to me and always will.”

Sue interrupts him, “Stop talking like that, Rod. Your brother doesn’t want to take your girlfriend away from you. He’s being silly, Jenna. Don’t listen to him. And Rod, what have I told you about saying Jenna belongs to you? She’s a human being, she belongs to no one.”

He levels his eyes on me. “You do belong to me, don’t you?”

I nod and love the smile I see go all over his face. His lips touch mine and I lean into the kiss.

I hear Sue say, “Don’t give into him, Jenna. Stand firm. You’re a human being not a possession.”

Rod used to treat me like that. Not anymore, though. Not since that day. And I don’t see him going back to that.

When Rod tells me I belong to him it hits me as if he’s really saying he loves me. That’s how I take it, anyway.

As he lets the kiss end, I look at Sue, “It’s okay. I know what he means when he says it.”

Rod moves his arm off my shoulders and takes my hand. “It means you belong to me. Just like I said. I think it’s time to hit the road, Baby. It’s been a long couple of nights. I’m still kind of nursing that hangover I woke up with this morning.”

“Bye,” I say as he pulls me to the front door.

His parents say their goodbyes and wave. As we move through the living room I see Reed in the dark hallway. I lift my hand and wave and he waves back.

I can’t see his expression, he’s merely a shadow in the dark at the end of the long hallway. But I can feel his emotion from here.

And it’s sad.

What if Rod’s right? What if Reed really does want me?

Then I push the thought out of my head. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I am with Rod. I am marrying Rod.

So what if Rod doesn’t bring out the same heat in my body when he touches me that Reed does?

Rod brings out other things in me. Things like compassion and empathy.

Those are good things too!

---

Chapter 10

JENNA

Sun streams through the curtains that have been left open for some reason. I don’t recall leaving them open but I don’t recall much about last night, to be honest.

Rod and I had way too much to drink it seems. And it seems like I’ve slept most of the morning away.

My head aches as I turn to the side to pick up my cell phone and see what time it is. When my eyes finally focus I see it’s nearly noon.

I turn back over and run my hand over Rod’s, still dented where his head was, pillow.

The poor man had to get up and go to work!

Dragging myself out of bed, I make my way to the bathroom where I start the shower. Brushing my teeth as the water warms up I notice some things are missing.

Rod’s toothbrush is gone from the holder.

I look in the trashcan to see if he tossed it for some reason. But I don’t see it in there. I rinse my mouth out and look around and notice his deodorant is also missing from its usual place on the shelf.

As I open the medicine cabinet the new package of razors I bought him the other day is gone and so is the bottle of acetaminophen.

My heart starts pounding hard as I walk out of the bathroom and go to the closet. Half his clothes are gone. The work uniforms are all that’s left. His work boots are placed neatly on the floor but his other shoes are gone.

I kind of fall backward until my legs hit the side of the bed then I fall onto it.

He’s left me!

After a few minutes, I shake my head to try to clear it. “No, he wouldn’t just leave me.”

I jump up and run to the bathroom and turn the water off and go to grab a dress and pull it on, then open my drawer and pull out a pair of panties. Slipping on my sandals I run out of the house to go to the garage he works at.

My pace is fast as I walk down the street. The place is about a mile away and I don’t want to show up all sweaty and panicked.

He has to be there!

I can’t remember so much about last night. Maybe he told me he had to go somewhere for his job and be there overnight.

But why are so many of his clothes gone? And none of them work related?

After turning a corner, I can see far enough down the street the garage is on and usually, I can see his old Ford from here. But I don’t see it.

My feet start moving faster on their own and now I’m running as fast as I can. I run into the parking lot and the smell of oil hits my nostrils and I see his truck is not here.

One of the guys he works with sees me and comes out. “Hey! Where the hell is Rod?”

I can barely breathe. “He’s not here?”

He shakes his head. “We’ve been calling him since eight this morning and sending him texts. He hasn’t answered. I was going to come over to your house when I got off for lunch to see what the hell’s wrong with him.”

I have to lean over and put my hands on my knees and try to catch my breath. My heart is pounding and my head is going very light.

Once I’ve regained my air, I stand up. “He’s gone. He left. Has he told you anything?”

The man I’ve never really been introduced to but know his name is Craig looks at me and shakes his head. “Rod is a quiet man. No one knows anything.”

“I have to go. If I can find him, I’ll let you know,” I say then turn to go back home.

As I get into the house which seems very empty now, I go back to the bedroom and get my phone. Calling his mother seems like the next logical step.

“Hi, Jenna,” Sue answers.

“Sue, do you know where Rod is?”

I cross my fingers but her words let me down, “No. Why?”

“His things are gone. And he didn’t go to work. He won’t answer their calls or texts.”

“Did you two have a fight?” she asks.

“Not that I know of. I mean, we drank a lot last night and much of it is a blank. But we haven’t fought in a long time so I can’t see why we would’ve. Can you try to call him?”

“Yes. I’ll tell Jason and we’ll see if we can’t find him, Dear. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I call Rod next and it goes straight to voicemail. I text him. -Baby, where are you?-

My hand is shaking as I place the phone back on the nightstand and stare at it as if it’s a magic looking glass that will tell me where the man I love is.

An hour passes as I stare at the phone then it rings and I grab it without taking the time to see who it is. “Rod!”

“It’s Reed, Jenna. What’s happened, Mom called me and said Rod’s left you.”

“Did she talk to him? Did he tell her that?” I ask as I fall back on the bed.

“No. She just said you told her he was gone and his things were gone and he’s not answering their calls. I tried to call him too, and he’s not answering me either.”

“Reed, I got very drunk last night. I can’t remember much at all.”

“Damn, Jenna. I’ve never even seen you get tipsy. Have you two been fighting?”

“Not at all. It’s been three months since we got engaged and we haven’t fought even once.” I feel my bottom lip beginning to quiver. “Reed, I feel lost.”

“Jenna, everything will be okay. This isn’t the first time Rod’s disappeared.”

“It’s not?” I sit up and wipe my eyes as a few tears have slipped out.

“No, it’s not. When he was eighteen he left for six months. No one knew where he was and the man refused to tell anyone where he’d been. When he was twenty, he left and came back a little after his twenty-first birthday.”

I met Rod six months after that. And now I do recall him not being around for about four months when he was twenty-two as well.

“Reed, what is it he does, do you think?”

“I’ve always thought drugs were involved in it. And that’s what our parents think too. Is he doing drugs at home, Jenna?”

“No. He drinks and smokes cigarettes but that’s all. Do you think he has a secret drug problem?” I hold my stomach as it aches so badly.

Reed’s voice is shaky as he says, “I’m pretty sure he does, Jenna. I’m sorry. I tried to get you to understand he’s not a reliable man. You deserve better.”

“But we’ve been together a little over three years, Reed. That’s a long time to be stable. How could he do this to me?” And then the tears take over and I can’t even see as there are so many.

“I’m sorry, Jenna. I really am,” he says. “Keep up your schoolwork. Don’t let this stop you or slow you down. I’ll keep it all paid for. Just don’t let him doing this stop you from going on and doing what you need to do to be the person you want to be.”

“I have to go,” I say then put the phone down and cry into Rod’s pillow.

The apple scent is still there from the shampoo. I take in jagged breaths as I try to get what’s left of him into my body and into my soul.

I don’t know how I can go on. I don’t know how I can live not knowing if he’s okay.

How will I ever be whole again? How will I ever trust again? How will I go on without knowing if he’s okay?

---

The day turns into night and back into day again before I can pull my weak body out of our bed.

His pillow I have soaked with my tears. So many more than I knew I had. I can hear someone knocking at the front door and manage to get to it.

Sue and my mother are standing on the other side of the screen door. Both wear sorrowful expressions. Mom pulls the screen open and they come inside.

I try to turn and walk away but they have me in their arms and I start crying all over again. “I can’t do this.”

Their hands run through my hair and over my back as they murmur things like, it’ll be okay and you will get over this.

I won’t get over this!

Not ever!

Then anger spreads like a wildfire through me and I pull out of their arms. “Sue, how could no one have ever told me that Rod disappears like this?”

My mother looks at me with a confused expression. “Jenna, this town is tiny. You knew he did this kind of thing. Why are you asking her that question? The man had a bad reputation. You knew he was into questionable activities. It’s the main reason your father, and I cautioned you so much about moving in with him.”

Sue takes my hand. “Jenna, I told you he was difficult. I didn’t know you were unaware of his past.”

“How did you make it when he disappeared those times, Sue? I have to know how I’m going to be able to live not knowing if he’s okay.” My hand shakes in hers.

“Prayers. That and hope.” Sue pulls me to sit down on the sofa with her and my mother takes the other side and runs her hand over my leg. “It nearly killed me the first time. He left right after his graduation ceremony. We thought he was coming to meet us at the party we threw him at the gun club out on the old Freeman ranch.”

“Let me guess,” I say. “He never showed up and when you went home his things were gone.”

She nods. “Then we at least knew he wasn’t kidnapped or something awful like that. We reported him missing and the police never found out a thing. One day, the door opened and in he walked. When we asked where he was he told us to lay off him or he’d leave again. So we shut up.”

“I can’t live like this,” I say.

My mother pats my leg. “And you shouldn’t. Even if he comes back, Jenna, you shouldn’t take him back. No one should have to put up with this kind of thing.”

I look at Sue who nods at me. “I hate to say that. But what your mother is saying is for the best. You deserve better, Jenna. Rod is a destructive man. He’s always been hard to get to. And damn hard to understand. I can’t blame drugs for it all. He was an odd little boy.”

“But I felt like we were connected. I felt like I did understand him. I feel like an idiot,” I say then put my face in my hands. “How can I show my face in this town? Everyone knows we were going to get married. It was in the damn newspaper.”

Sue’s hand rests on my shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Jenna. Time will heal you. You’ll see.”

“Come home with me, Jenna. Let’s get you out of this house. It’ll only keep you upset without him here,” Mom says.

“I can’t leave. What if he changes his mind and comes back home?” I pull my face out of my shaking hands and look at her.

“Why would you want to go back to life with him? After what he’s done, why would you do that to yourself?” Mom asks me with a frown.

“I love him. Maybe he got scared. Maybe this marriage thing is too much for him. I never had to have the marriage. He and I had our own thing.”

Then it hits me.

The contract!

I jump off the sofa and run to the bedroom and pull open the drawer he keeps it in. “No! No! He took it! No!” Sue and my mother come into the room.

Mom’s arms come around me. “He took what, Baby?”

“Our paper. He took the paper that said we would be together forever. Why would he not even leave that?” I turn to look at them. “Maybe it means for me to wait.”

Sue looks at me with so much sadness in her light blue eyes. “Jenna, you shouldn’t sit around and wait to see. This isn’t right what he’s done. He shouldn’t even be able to come back and have you again. Your mother’s right. You have to move on. Even if he comes back. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Sue, you know how much I love him. I can’t stand to move on. I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

“Did he leave you any money, Sweetie?” Sue asks me.

I shake my head. “He kept all the money. He’d give me some when he needed me to buy things. But he kept it all.”

My mother takes me by the chin and makes me look at her. “Sweetheart, how are you supposed to wait for him here with no money?”

“I guess I have to get a job. I’ll get a job and keep this place and when he comes back he’ll know I waited and that I love and accept him for who he is. He’ll know he can trust me to always be his. Then he’ll change for good. Then he’ll know someone cares for him so much they’d just wait for him.” I look into his mother’s eyes for a sign.

That has to be what this is, a test to see if I’ll wait for him!

No matter how hard they try to get me to leave, I will wait here and keep this home for him until he comes back to me. He’ll see, they’ll see, we will all see then that he does love me and this is just his way of testing my love for him.

I can’t think any other way. It’s what I have to do.

I swallow hard and look back at the women who think they know what’s best. But Rod and I have secrets they know nothing about.

He’s tested my limits before. It may seem harsh what he’s done, but I get it. I get him in a way no one else ever has.

“I can do this. I’m okay now. I can take care of myself. Don’t worry about me. I can handle this.” I walk into the living room and go to my desk. “I’ll talk to you guys later. I have to get my classwork done. I’m starting late on it and I don’t want to get behind. Rod would be disappointed in me if I did that. I want him to come back and see how self-reliant I am and capable of being the woman he needs me to be.”

Sue takes my mother by the hand and pulls her to the door. “Let this settle into her head, May.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see my mother nod then she says, “We’re only a phone call away, Jenna. Don’t hesitate to call. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom. He’ll be back. You’ll see. You will all see. This is just a test. A test I will pass.”

“I love you too, Jenna. I’ll be here if you need me, Sweetheart,” Sue says then they leave.

With a shake of my head, I feel better. More clear about things now. Opening my laptop, I get to work.

He’ll be back, I know he will!

---

Chapter 11

JENNA

An entire year has passed and still there’s been no sign of Rod Manning.

I moved out of the house when the rent came due and I didn’t make enough money from the tips I made at the very small café I managed to get a job at in Jerome.

After a couple of months living at my parents' home, back in my childhood bedroom, I decided to move to Tempe and go to the real Arizona State University at Reed’s prompting.

He’s called me once a month to see how I’m doing and check on my grades. He always lets me know he’s proud of my achievements and knows his company’s scholarship money is going to good use.

Truth be told, though, his voice always leaves me full of sorrow. But there’s no way I’d stop taking his calls. Not after all he’s done for me.

But it does hurt when I’m reminded of Rod. I try very hard not to think about him and our time together. And I find I have no trust in people.

No matter how many guys have asked me out, I can’t seem to make myself give any of them a chance. That’s a thing my dorm roommate doesn’t understand about me.

Of course, I haven’t told a soul about what Rod and I did. How much trust I put in him and how bad it hurt to know he did all that to me and left me, anyway.

Somewhere deep inside me, I know he’s a man with deeper problems than I ever understood. And that alone helps me sleep at night.

Sure from time to time I wake from some nightmare where Rod has shown up and wants me back. Tells me I’m his and drags me away with him.

I’m sure it’s an unfounded fear. But it’s there.

And if I was to have some guy with me when he did show up I have no idea what he would do to both of us. So it’s best to stay alone.

It seems I have more than a few reasons not to date.

As if on cue the door to the dorm room opens and my roomie, Lane comes in. “Still in the same place you were when I left to go out with Jeremy. When are you going to come out with us, Jenna?”

“Never.” I look at her then back at the book in my hand. “I’m here to learn, not mingle.”

“All work and no play, Jenna. Have you heard that little saying?” she asks as she pulls her tight T-shirt off.

“I have and don’t care what others say. I’m on a mission to graduate and get out of Arizona and on to a life far away from my past.”

“Tell me about this past of yours.” Lane drops her jeans and pops her bra off and climbs into her little bed across the room from mine.

“Nope.” I look at her over the edge of my book. “It’s a boring story.”

“It can’t be. It has you a near recluse.” She pulls her red blanket up to cover her bare breasts them she wiggles around and her panties are thrown to the floor.

She likes to sleep naked. Says it’s more comfortable.

I know it is. That’s how Rod and I slept every night for three years. But now I wear pajamas and I don’t sleep that well, anyway.

I ignore her and go back to reading. But she won’t stop. “Jenna, you know that really gorgeous guy from our child development class, Cam?”

I nod. “You like him now, or what?”

“Or what,” she says. “No. I saw him tonight at the club and he asked where you were.”

“So,” I say as I really don’t care.

“So, he asked for your cell number and I gave it to him.”

I put the book on my lap and glare at her. “I gave you that number in case you ever needed me to come rescue your ass from either a rapist or a kidnapper. Not to give out to men. And I’m pretty mad at you right now, Lane.”

“You can talk on the phone can’t you? He’s nice and good looking and I think he’s also loaded. I saw him get into a fancy sports car when we were leaving the club.” She sits up in the bed and the blanket falls off her ample tits as she does.

With a roll of my eyes, I say, “You know, Lane, it’s chicks like you who give female college roommates the stigma of us all being bi-sexual.”

I catch her holding her boobs and squeezing them together and shaking them. “Oh, am I enticing you with these little things. Has it been so long since your vag has had any action that you’re getting interested, Jenna?” She laughs and I look at her with a blank face.

“Really, Lane? Go to sleep.”

She turns over and leans her head on her hand. “Come on, Jenna. Tell me about the guy who ruined you.”

Rod’s face flashes in my mind and I find tears spring forward. She spots them and says, “Jenna, it will help to talk about him. No matter what you believe. It will help.”

I push his face out of my mind. “You have no idea, Lane. Talking about him would only bring up wounds which have closed and rip them open again. I have a hard time even talking to his brother once a month like I have to. Talking will only hurt me, not help me.”

“What did he do to you?” she asks.

I look at the book in my hands but don’t see the words. How do I explain to anyone what Rod Manning did to me?

How would they ever understand why I’m not just so thankful he left and I don’t have to live that way any longer?

“Nothing really. He just made me believe things that weren’t true. Hence, my issues. Not a big deal. Now go to sleep. You have a nine o’clock class and you’ll be in no condition for the pop quiz I overheard the professor say he was giving you guys.”

“Fuck!” She turns over and pulls the blanket over her head. “Thanks for springing that on me. Good night.”

“Good night,” I say then put my book away and turn off my lamp and try to go to sleep myself.

But she’s put Rod back into my head and now I’m afraid sleep will be hard to find.

I can feel his rough, calloused hands running over my body as I close my eyes. His hot breath on the back of my neck as he pulls me close to him.

Then I recall the way he’d blow smoke at me when I got onto him about smoking in the house or the truck. The way he’d look at me with no emotion in those steel-blue eyes and make me call him master.

Even though we had a whole year of not doing any of that, I have this fear that he’s going to come find me. Demand I go back to him and start the whole thing over.

Condition me to bend to his will again. Train me to accept the pain he dishes out. Beat me into submission again.

When I look back and see myself, I shudder. On my knees in front of him, waiting to see what things he was about to put my body through.

My body jerks as I hear in my mind the sound of the leather belt flying through the air before it slammed against my skin. A sound I’ll never forget.

A sensation which fills me with shame. The burn of the strike would send my body into such an odd state. Pain but excitement.

I always became so wet as he hit me over and over. And when he pulled me off the hook and threw me onto the bed or the floor and took me like he owned me, because he did, it made me quiver with desire.

A desire to belong to him. To make him the center of my universe. To hand myself over to him so he could do anything he wanted to me.

And the shame goes all over me.

Why did I allow that?

I wasn’t raised that way. I was a good girl and I’m a good girl again. But now I’m one who has these dark secrets.

Secrets of enjoying the pain and the intense pleasure he’d follow it up with. Secrets of feeling elated that he kept me as his own. Secrets of knowing other women wanted him and most times he stayed away from them because I allowed him to do whatever he wanted to me.

I was young back then. Stupid and naïve and thought that was love.

That was control, that was manipulation, and that was unhealthy.

I can see it all very clearly now. Age and getting away from it has helped.

And I do thank God nearly every day that Rod left me. I’d still be right there in that if he hadn’t.

After he left and when I was anywhere in town, I’d hear people talking about me. Saying how they thought I was smart and how they never saw me messing up my life with someone like Rod Manning.

I just thought I’d be humiliated by the whole town knowing he left after we were supposed to get married. How wrong I was.

I should’ve been humiliated before that. Once I heard how people thought about me even being with him had me thinking more about myself.

That’s why I decided to get out in the world. Go off to college and try to grow a lot more than I had allowed myself. Or Rod had, anyway.

And maybe Lane is right. Maybe I should date. But God knows I’m afraid to.

I’m afraid there’s a weakness inside me I can’t see but others can. A weakness which allows others to control me. A weakness I’m not sure I’ve overcome yet.

Without being sure of myself, I can’t risk getting myself into a similar situation. Alone is best. For now, anyway.

My phone lights up as it buzzes and I pick it up and see a number I don’t recognize has texted me.

Involuntarily, my body tenses.

What if it’s Rod?

I swipe my finger over it and read the message. -Hope you aren’t mad. Lane gave me your number. It’s Cam from one of your classes. I know you keep to yourself and I want you to know I respect that. But I also want you to know I’m a good guy. And I’d like us to get to know each other. So how about I bring you a coffee to our class and afterward we can talk. Just talk, Jenna. I swear. I see a sadness in you that actually hurts me. I don’t think I can fix you or anything. But I’d like to be your friend. You seem to keep people away. As you well know as we’ve learned in our child development class, keeping away from the group is unhealthy and as teachers, we’re expected to not only notice these kinds of things but help the person who needs it. I’m here to help, Jenna. That’s all. No pressure. Some coffee and conversation. That’s it. So tell me what kind you like.-

I wait for three minutes while I contemplate this. He is right. We have studied this very thing, and it’s an unhealthy way to be.

Can I believe he wants only friendship from me?

Friends are a thing I let go for Rod. They’d never have understood our relationship, so I cut them off.

It was stupid of me back then. And refusing a friend now is just as stupid. So I text back – Mocha, caramel and thanks. I’ll take you up on the friend thing.-

-Great! See you tomorrow-

I put the phone down and feel like I’ve just taken a huge step forward. A step out of this mess I’ve made of my life. A good step toward a normal future.

Rod Manning is my past. A past best left in the dark shadows of my memory. A thing I need to learn from but not let cripple me.

So I close my eyes and hold my breath for as long as I can as I let the memories flood my mind. This is it, this is the last time I’ll allow myself to be held back by Rod Manning.

His face, his muscled back, his tight abs, his ash blonde waves, his steely blue eyes. His smell, his voice, his essence flash through my head.

There all put away in the recesses of my mind. The leather belts, the collars, the nipple clamps, the bungee cords, the hook all put away with the rest of the things I associate with Rod Manning, shoved into the small space.

No longer will I allow that to be at the forefront of my mind. It’s over and the fear and shame and the fact there will never be any closure I throw in there with the rest.

It’s time to start fresh. Become who I am meant to be. I want to be a teacher of young children and I need a healthy mind if I am to be the right kind of influence on them.

It’s a big responsibility and my college days are nearly over. A year away from graduation and becoming a real teacher. I have to work as hard on myself as I have my studies.

So I’m going to drink some coffee with a member of the opposite sex. I’m going to leave the shit with my first relationship where it belongs, in the past.

I’m going to stop thinking of myself as a weak idiotic female with no will of her own.

Nope, that young girl is gone. She’s grown up and now she will be influencing young minds. And with such a responsibility has to come to terms with life now, not then.

I take in a deep breath to replenish the air my body has used up and stop thinking about myself in the third person.

I am going to be better than okay. I am going to sleep tonight the Jenna Foster I am now. I am waking up with a new attitude and outlook on life.

All men are not trying to control me. All men are not assholes. All men are not a thing I have to fear.

The man I’ve been so afraid of showing up and using a piece of paper to take me back to a place I don’t want to be in any longer is not a thing I will give power to anymore.

Four years is enough!