SADIE
I WOKE WITH A HARD male body wrapped around me.
Feeling trapped in the dark room, I started to panic. My entire body went taut, and I felt the need to flee. Then my eyes flickered open, and I remembered where I was.
Everything came back to me in a flash.
How Jaxson had come to me.
Let me in.
Told me he was sorry. That he wanted to keep me close to him rather than turning me away. What he’d said, and how he wanted to take care of me, it was more than I could have asked for.
I also knew he meant only for the time we had together, and I was okay with that. I had to be. He couldn’t be in my life afterwards. That was something I had to face on my own.
Sex and him for five weeks was more than I deserved, and I greedily accepted the terms. Accepted the no-attachment clause he’d inferred. Attachments wouldn’t work where I was headed, anyway.
I glanced at the time. We had less than an hour before we had to leave to board the plane for St. Kitts.
“Are you awake?” I whispered.
“No,” he answered grumpily.
I laughed and reached for the light. I wanted to shed the dark. To see the light.
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Turn that off.”
I did not. Instead, I looked at him. His naked body was uncovered, and I stared at the tight coil of muscles that marked his arms. At the lazy, kind of messy wash of dark hair that fell over his forehead and flipped out at his ears.
A grumble came from his throat, but then I burrowed back in the bed and pushed my body against him, and his complaints turned into groans.
It took less than a second for his erection to rub against my naked bottom. I’d forgotten I wasn’t wearing any underwear. That I had none. I never slept naked. It was the fight or flight in me. Years of never knowing when I was going to be woken up and locked away.
The blunt tip of his cock rubbed against the entrance to my ass, and my entire body reacted as if he’d set it on fire. Desire roared through my veins, and there was no dousing the flame.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “You can’t do that.”
“I’m sorry,” I offered, immediately pushing forward, and away from him. Unsure if I had misread him and the way he wanted me endlessly. But I knew I hadn’t, and I knew he wanted me.
“I lied,” he whispered into my ear.
I looked over my shoulder and played coy. “About what?”
“About not wanting you to do that. I do.”
“I know you do,” I giggled.
He advanced on me, his arms circling me, pulling me to him with an air of dominance I found completely sexy. Lust and authority swirled his delicious blue eyes. “How exactly do you know that?”
“It’s in your gaze. The way the blue in your irises dilates when you’re turned on. But I want to be clear about one thing,” I told him.
He laughed. “You don’t get to make demands. I think I made that clear yesterday.”
Heat shot into my cheeks at the memory of how he made me wait, and how much I didn’t want to, but did. “Yes, you call the shots in bed. You made that clear. But I want to make sure you know this isn’t a payment of debt. That me having sex with you whenever you want isn’t in any way meant as a form of penance.”
He shook his head. “You need to get over that. Letting me bury my cock inside you isn’t paying me back. And allowing yourself pleasure that I think you want more than you even know is definitely not repayment to me,” he breathed.
I didn’t respond. I did want pleasure. It was a pleasure I’d never had. It could be the place or the man, or the fact that I was free of the world I had worried about for so long.
“Am I right?” he prompted.
I sucked in a breath. “Yes.”
“Then come a little closer. Let me give you that pleasure.”
I wiggled back against his hard, thick cock until his tip hit the seam of my ass. Anal play was nothing I’d ever thought about, but I was thinking about it now.
With a groan, he placed a gentle finger on my clit. “Fuck, you’re dripping wet for me.”
I moaned in delight at his touch. “I can’t help myself.”
Rolling me back onto the pillow, he shifted his body over mine, so he looked down into my eyes. “Have you been this wet for days?”
“No,” I said firmly.
“That’s a lie.”
I nodded.
He grinned and maneuvered a little more until my legs were spread wide. “Tell me how much you want me.”
With his heavy erection resting between my legs, I couldn’t stop the heat that crept over my entire body. “So much it hurts.”
His lips twitched in annoyance. “Good, then stop talking and kiss me. We don’t have much time before we have to leave for work.”
I reached up to meet his mouth. His lips moved hungrily over mine, demanding, taking, and his eagerness to have me stole my breath. No one had ever wanted me the way he did.
“Tell me. Tell me you want me to fuck you,” he demanded.
“I want you to fuck me,” I replied breathlessly.
He kissed me again, as if he couldn’t stand to have his mouth away from mine for another second. Then he reluctantly dragged his lips from mine.
I took his face between my hands. “Where are you going?”
His eyes simmered with lust and arousal, but then he sighed.
“What’s the matter?”
“I still don’t have any condoms.”
I pulled him back down to me. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I’ll get some, I promise,” Jaxson said skimming his lips down my body and placing his mouth between my breasts.
We were clean. We’d established that. I didn’t care, but I did care that he wanted to do this again because I knew I wanted to, as well. I arched into him, seeking more of his mouth. And he gave me more, kissing a line down to my belly.
For the first time in months, my stomach didn’t twist. Instead, it quivered beneath his mouth, and a soft moan escaped my throat. “Jaxson, I need you inside me.”
Just as softly and slowly as he’d trailed a line of soft kisses down my body, he trailed one up, not stopping until he reached my mouth. “And I can’t wait to be there.”
Looming strong above me, he smiled, and then molded his lips to mine. Our tongues tangled, clashed, twisted, and rolled until I was breathless and panting.
Jaxson groaned low in his throat, and then he pushed his arms underneath me so he could bring me closer to his body.
“You can’t hurt me,” I managed.
As soon as I said this, his hips arched fluidly. And then his cock was sliding in and out of my body until I was dizzy with pleasure. And he was close. So close to me. There wasn’t a part of him that wasn’t touching me. He was surrounding me. Filling me in places that had never been touched. He made me feel safe, wanted, alive.
I closed my eyes and hugged him to me. Not wanting the barest distance between us, I clung to him as he rocked into me, deeper, harder, faster, penetrating me to my very soul.
“Sadie.”
His tender voice pulled me from my scattered thoughts.
“Look at me, Sadie.”
I snapped my eyes open to see him staring intently down at me. “Are you certain you’re okay? I should have asked you last night, but didn’t.”
I nodded. “I’m certain. Just kiss me.”
And he did.
Fiercely.
Possessively.
Like he couldn’t get enough of me.
“How close are you?” he whispered.
“Close,” I said, clawing at his back.
“Good,” he breathed. “Good.” His eyes flashed and his jaw clenched in pure adulterated pleasure as he thrust deeper, harder, faster. I didn’t think I’d ever made anyone go this insane.
“Don’t stop. I’m almost there,” I called out as my release built higher and deeper—so deep I felt like I might turn inside out.
Then he was kissing me again. Harder. Faster. Hotter. Until I was breathing his air and he was breathing mine.
“Oh, God, Jaxson. Oh, God.”
All of his control seemed to be gone, and he began to move at lightning speed. Up. Down. In. Out. “Oh fuck, what you do to me.”
I went slick around him, and he moved easier, pushing into me until I gasped at how deep he had gone.
Calling out his name, I closed my eyes and unraveled beneath him. Coming in bursting rays of pleasure, like a rainbow. Magic. The world blurred for a moment, and then he stilled, plunging one last time into me. He came with his cock buried deep inside me and calling out my name.
As I floated down to earth, Jaxson lowered himself on top of me. I couldn’t move. I felt trapped. But I knew it was okay because with him, I felt safe. I felt good. Alive.
Even though I had no right to.