JAXSON
THE SUN HAD SET HOURS ago, and I was going out of my fucking mind.
The ironic part of this screwed-up situation was that I couldn’t call the cops and report her missing because what if they were looking for her?
I ran a hand through my hair and pulled on it. I wanted to throw something, break something, anything.
I should have thought to ask Finn to check for that. Then again, I wasn’t sure he should be digging around criminal databases. Shit, if his cousin knew anything about his computer skills she’d lose her fucking mind.
His cousin. Not my ex. Things weren’t so black and white anymore. Her name didn’t sear a hole in my gut or make my heart feel black. And I knew why. It was because whatever was going on with Sadie had replaced or rebuilt or maybe even built from the ground up something entirely new and different.
Sadie.
Where the fuck was she?
I’d spent the last six hours combing St. George for her. Up and down every street. In and out of every shop, restaurant, and bar.
She was nowhere.
I’d come back to the room hoping she’d returned or called or left a fucking message in a bottle. Anything.
There was nothing.
I grabbed my keys and tromped down the steps. It wasn’t like she could leave the country. Her fucking passport was here. I was going back out, again. And I’d do it again and again and again until I found her.
She had to be somewhere.
The tightness in my chest only increased when I thought about the fact that she had no wallet, no money, and no phone.
Why the fuck had she ran?
What had she seen?
I was halfway down the hill when I spotted her huddled against the break wall. Water was dripping from her hair and clothes and she was shivering. I think my heart stopped beating.
“Sadie.” Her name came out hoarse, rough, in a voice I didn’t recognize as my own.
I rushed to her and squatted down. Her head was hung, and she had her arms wrapped around her legs. Gently, I placed my hands on her shoulders. “Sadie,” I said again, and it sounded just as strangled as it had before.
Her gaze swung up to meet mine, and I saw all I needed to see—fear and grief and despair. Something terrible had happened. That much I knew. What, I hadn’t a damn clue.
“Sadie, sweetheart, talk to me. Where did you go?”
She pushed the hair that was hanging over her eyes away and looked anywhere but at me. “Jaxson, I didn’t want you to see me like this. I need some time to pull myself together. I’m stronger than this.”
I stroked her face with my palm. “You don’t have to be strong for me. Talk to me. Tell me what happened.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. It’s too bad.”
“Tell me! Did someone hurt you?”
“Not physically. I fell in the water, but I’m fine.”
Fell? My head was buzzing. My body was buzzing. I was feeling out of control. I was feeling like I’d never felt in my life. Helpless.
This time I cupped her cheek to look up at me when I spoke. Demands weren’t going to get me anywhere. “Please, tell me, sweetheart. What did you see? Talk to me.”
Her eyes went wide and she started mumbling about a diary. A bigger plan. Moongate. The accident. Secrets. The money. Her voice was getting higher. Her tone more frantic. It was all coming out so fast and none of it made any sense. But I let her talk until she couldn’t talk anymore because her hysteria had overtaken her.
Nothing she had said made any sense.
I slid my hands down her arms and hated the way her body trembled. Everything about her was icy cold and I thought my pulse was going to explode through my temples.
Forcing myself to remain calm was the hardest thing I’d had to do in a very long time, especially since all I wanted to do was scream, “Where the fuck have you been?”
“Come on, babe, let’s get you inside and cleaned up, and then we can talk,” I whispered.
She shook her head, her arms clutching herself. “I need to leave. I need my passport. I have to go back to the States.”
My heart was about to beat out of my chest. “We’re both going back in nine days, Sadie.”
“I can’t wait that long. I have to go now.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
She grabbed my arms and squeezed with a strength I didn’t know she had. “This is my life, Jaxson!”
I glared at her and took her hands in mine. “And you don’t think it’s mine?”
Her voice had settled and her wounded eyes stared at me. “It’s not the same, and you know it.”
There was a sheen of tears making her eyes shiny in the glare of the moonlight, and my own eyes burned. “You have to tell me everything, Sadie. I can’t help you if I don’t understand.”
Tears glistened in her eyelashes and ran down her cheeks. “It was Simon I saw on the street this afternoon, and I ran after him.”
My heart stopped beating. Motherfucker. I wanted to pound something. Him. I drew in a ragged breath and forced myself to keep my anger in check. “And you caught up with him?” It was a very likely assumption.
“Yes.”
“Where?” My voice was forceful and I told myself to tone it down.
“On a yacht in the marina. A yacht called Moongate,” her laugh was harsh. “He had a freaking yacht. I couldn’t believe it. I had to know what happened to Riley, so I went aboard.”
My heart started beating again and I swore I could hear the thump, thump, thump, right out of my chest. “What happened after you boarded?”
“It’s all such a blur. He was so cold. Not the friend I thought I had. I didn’t even tell him I knew he was Sidney.”
“Why not?”
A gut-wrenching sob tore from her throat when she looked up at me. “Because it didn’t matter. He told me he didn’t give Riley the money and now he’ll never walk again. And it’s all my fault.”
Grief was so thick in her voice that she choked on every word. I wanted to kill the motherfucker with my bare hands.
As gently as I could, I scooped her in my arms. “Sadie, I’m so sorry.”
“Jaxson, I have to go see him.”
There was something in her voice that made me go cold from the inside out. I didn’t want to lose her, but in that moment I knew I never really had her. I couldn’t. She belonged to her past and until she faced it, she could never truly be mine. “I know you do, sweetheart, and you will. Just not tonight. Tonight you need to rest.”
I carried her up the hill and up the stairs to our room. She was shaking and cold and I marched right into the shower. Turning the hot water on, I stepped in the spray with her still in my arms.
Her dead eyes widened when she realized what I’d done. “Jaxson,” she started to protest.
“Shhh.” I set her down and took her face my hands. “Let me take care of you, if only for tonight.”
We were both shivering as I carefully removed her clothes and placed her directly under the showerhead. Then I shed my own clothes and pulled her tight to my body.
Heat swelled around us, warming us, but still, we both trembled. I kept her in my arms like that until the water started to chill. Cranking off the valve, I grabbed for a towel and wrapped her tightly.
Back in the bedroom, I put one of my T-shirts over her head and then tucked her under a mountain of blankets. “Are you warm enough?” I asked.
She nodded.
Over at the coffee bar, I found some teabags and selected the peppermint flavor. I put the kettle on before I bothered to put some pants on.
Once it started to hiss, I poured the steaming liquid and swished the bag around like I’d done for my mother for so many years. Tea was her cure to a hangover for as long as I could remember.
I sat beside her and surprisingly she sat up. I handed her the cup and then stroked her cheek with my knuckles. “Do you want to talk about today?”
She took a sip from her cup and sucked in a deep, steadying breath. “He is exactly who you thought he was—a psychopath. And the worst part is you knew that without knowing the whole truth.”
My gut tightened. “The whole truth?”
She shifted so she could look me in the eyes. “He had been stealing since he was a kid. He tried to teach me for years but I refused. How could I have been so stupid to not see that was what he was doing to me?”
I looked at her, anger burning like fire in my gut. This wasn’t the time.
“Stealing,” she whispered. “Only Jaxson,” she paused, “he wants more than all of my personal belongings.”
I bit back any harsh outburst, but I hated that she held back the truth. It certainly added a whole new level of deceit to the picture. One I had yet to fully process or comprehend. “What else could he possibly want?” I asked.
“My soul,” she cried.
I shook my head. “He can’t take your soul, love.”
Her eyes became wild. “I think he already has.”
And I knew she believed it.