That night George and I make an executive decision to close early. It’s not like Dick would even realize. As George had said, if he took his head out of his ass long enough to get anything done, it would be a miracle in itself. I walk home in the dark in a daze, thinking over the conversation I had with Ryan, replaying it over and over again in my mind. But re-running our little chat doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change the words that he said or the undeniable fact that he was threatening to hurt the only member of my family I still have. And I know that I can’t let that happen.
I take my cell from my pocket out of habit to dial Jake’s number, but I stop abruptly with my finger hovering over the call button. What was it that Ryan had said? If I call him, they’ll know. It could easily be a bluff; as far as I know, the Bleeding Angels haven’t advanced to phone tapping yet. They're just your run of the mill criminals, rather than masterminds of international espionage. But was I willing to run the risk that they weren’t joking? Was I willing to put everything on the line because Ryan may have just been trying to scare me? I already know the answer: no.
Instead, I choose another contact and wait for the call to go through. I’ve been calling her over and over again, but Suzie doesn’t pick up her cell. I don’t know why I think now might be any different. And it’s not—all I get is a recording of a perky, younger version of the Suzie that I saw the other night in The Hideaway telling me to leave a message after the beep.
“Hey Suze,” I say, “I just wanted to check up on you, see how you’re doing.”
I’m simply repeating the same things I had said in my previous five messages that she hadn’t returned yet. “I really need to talk to you, so call me when you get this, okay?” I ask, wishing that I didn’t sound so plaintive and needy.
She hasn’t shown up for her past two shifts and I’m starting to wonder if she’s ever going to show up again. George had pretty much said that if she didn’t make an appearance (and an apology for leaving us high and dry) in the next couple of days, then she wouldn’t have a job to come back to.
He knows as well as I do that the waitressing job is the only thing that has been keeping her grounded since her mom left. It’s given her a routine, a reason for getting up in the morning, a sense of achievement as she was earning her own money. But Suzie had always opted for the easy option. If there was a way to pass a test at school by not studying and cheating instead, then that’s what she would do. If there was a way to earn money without working a 9 to 5, by maybe selling a little weed on the side, that’s what she would do too.
I have no doubt in my mind that if she had found a way to stay afloat and gain protection… to live in this town without having to really deal with anything by dating an Angel, and getting so high she doesn’t remember what she does, then in my head I’m pretty sure that’s what she would do. I wish that it wasn’t true, but Suzie has proved me right more often than she has proved me wrong.
I take another look at my cell, checking that Jake hasn’t tried to get in touch with me. But there’s nothing—no messages, no calls. Maybe the Angels had spoken to him as well, I reason with myself. Or maybe he was pissed with me for sneaking out in the middle of the night. Or maybe he felt awkward about the whole thing and didn’t know how to make things right between us.
Or maybe he doesn’t care, the little voice pipes up. Now that he’s got his end away, perhaps he doesn’t really care about you at all. I know in my heart of hearts that’s not true, and all I want to do is run over to the body shop and talk to him, see him, hear his voice, touch his face.
I stop walking and give myself a little shake, forcing myself to get to grips with what is going on. That is not an option. I can’t do any of those things. The only thing I can do is to stay away from him. I can’t even bear to think about what will happen if I give in to what I want rather than doing what I’ve been told.
Come on Aimee, I tell myself, just man up and get this show on the road. I nod, agreeing with the voice in my head for once, and carry on trudging home in the dark.