Ethan slept on the bed beside me. He'd been a little fussy, gas maybe, so I’d brought him into my room and stretched him out on the bed beside me as I sat, contemplating my situation.

It was quiet in the house. Joel had gone to work and Kelli had gone on an overnight photo shoot up near San Luis Obispo. I was grateful for the reprieve. Since our conversation the other day, I felt increasingly uncomfortable around her.

She wasn't overt or mean, but I felt as if she were constantly watching me, especially if Joel was around. She couldn't possibly think that I was interested…

At first, her warning pissed me off. Royally. I was the one doing her a favor. Of course, I was getting paid for it, but without my agreement to this plan, without using my little baby as her hook to get Joel back, where would she be?

After I’d slept on it, I decided to let it go. She was obviously not nearly as confident of her reunion with Joel as I had supposed. Of course, I didn't really know what went on between them behind closed doors. When they were around the house together, I pretty much stayed in my room or in the nursery with Ethan.

After the confrontation with Kelli, I’d begun to have doubts that Joel was the bad guy she made him out to be. That bout of jealousy, the warning I had gotten afterward, left me not knowing what to believe anymore. More often of late, I even began to doubt whether Joel had cheated on her at all. I didn't see Joel as the type of person who would cheat on someone, but then again, what did I know? Most of his attention was focused on Ethan. He seemed much more involved with Ethan than with Kelli, even when she was home.

Of course, it gave me pleasure to see the way he had taken to my son, but with every passing day, my concern grew. And not just for Joel's sake. Over the past week, I had noticed that Ethan bubbled with delight when he heard Joel's voice. Of course, I wanted my baby happy, but each time I saw his baby smile, the cooing sounds he made when he heard Joel talking to him, the worse I felt. I wasn't feeling like a very good person lately. More often, I wondered how I was going to get out of this.

And then I would look down at Ethan and ask myself if I really wanted to go back to a homeless shelter. While the money Kelli had paid me to date was a good start, it would only last so long and it was expensive to live in Los Angeles. Rent was exorbitant. I could go back out to the San Gabriel Valley, or even further east to San Bernardino County, but job opportunities would also decrease, along with pay and opportunities for the schooling I needed to provide long-term support to my son.

A conundrum. That was the word. Morality and ethics aside, I was caught in a conundrum. I gazed down at Ethan and decided to put him back in his crib so I could get a few things done. Once snug in his bed, I gazed down at him. I never tired of gazing at his plump cheeks, cute nose, and the way his fingers moved… those incredibly tiny fingernails. My love for him grew deeper every day, surprising me with the force of it.

Leaving the nursery door open a crack, I headed for the laundry room to switch clothes to the dryer. Just as I passed the front door there was the click of the key in the lock and I spun around as it opened, wondering if Kelli had gotten back early, a sense of disappointment surging through me.

Instead, Joel appeared, and my feelings did a one-eighty, my heart giving a quick thump. My excitement at seeing him didn't bode well, but I couldn't help it.

"Hello," I said, locking my knees so I didn’t sway when the sensation of my head spinning hit me. "You're home early, in the middle of the day."

He nodded and gestured with his briefcase, which he placed inside the doorway of his office. "It's been a tough week at work. Anyway, I wanted to see my son."

I didn’t allow my expression to any emotion as I nodded and led the way to the nursery. "He just went down for a nap," I whispered, watching as Joel placed his hands on top of the retractable side and gazed down at the baby. The expression on his face… my heart ached at that look.

The tension was gone, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "He's beautiful, isn't he?"

I nodded. "He is." I glanced again at Joel, a troubled expression now evident. "Is something wrong?"

He spoke softly as he turned to me. "Would you mind if I confided in you once more?"

"Not at all," I replied, though something told me I should have turned him down.

"I'm beginning to think that getting back together with Kelli was a mistake. I've been giving it a lot of thought… and other than the presence of Ethan, our relationship hasn't seemed to change, not for the better."

I didn't know what to say. What kind of answer was he seeking? Silence dragged on as he waited for me to say something. "Relationships aren't easy," I mumbled. Lame, but what was I supposed to say?

He chuckled low in his throat. "I'm sorry, Sarah, I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I know you're not a marriage counselor, but you're just so easy to talk to. It’s hard to be committed to someone when you’re certain things aren’t going to work out."

I smiled and offered a shrug. "I wish I could offer some sage advice, but to be honest, I don't have any."

I glanced down at Ethan but still felt Joel's eyes on me. I wasn't particularly surprised when I felt his hand move from the crib to touch my shoulder. My chest seemed about ready to burst and I turned to him to make some excuse to leave the room, then his hand dropped from my shoulder and caressed my back, settling just above my hip. My heart pounded as I stood there, telling myself to pull away but unable to. A thrill raced down my spine. This couldn't be happening. Could it? Could he possibly be attracted to me? I’d been tamping down my attraction to him for the past couple of weeks.

"She's up in San Luis Obispo on a photo shoot," Joel whispered.

I nodded. Was he suggesting…

I looked up at him, my eyes wide. The pulse throbbed in my throat and of their own accord, my nipples tingled and hardened. Deep in my belly, desire wanted me to step into Joel’s embrace. I didn't move.

He stepped closer, placing both hands on my shoulders, his eyes riveting as he lowered his head and softly brushed his lips against mine. It was brief, feathery light, lasting only a second.

Then he stepped back, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Sarah, I shouldn't have—"

I reached out one hand and touched his arm, conveying my meaning without words. He turned back toward me and kissed me again, this time with a sense of urgency. Heat blossomed inside me, sending a wave of desire throughout my limbs.

I knew at that moment what I should do. I should step away, put a stop to this. But at the same time, I felt his pull, his charisma, the way his body seemed to emanate a wave of heat of its own.

I wanted him. Right or wrong, ethical or not, I wanted him.

So I didn't think, I just responded. As I stared up at him, I took in the look in his eyes, the flared nostrils, slightly open mouth. A noise escaped my throat as his hands reached for my button-down blouse. As his fingers worked at those buttons, without taking my eyes off his, I unbuttoned my jeans and worked them past my hips, pushed them down my legs and to the floor.

Joel unfastened my bra, my breasts freed to the cooler air, enflaming my already hot desire. This was wrong. But I didn’t want to think about anything but the sensations Joel was eliciting.

In moments, I stood naked in front of him. He grabbed my hand and we quickly stepped from the nursery and into my room. When we reached the bed, I grasped the bottom of his shirt and lifted it upward and he ripped it over his head, his slacks, boxers following. I marveled at his sculpted chest as his own gaze riveted to my breasts.

In the next instant, we lay on my bed, the hot skin of his chest pressing close to my breasts, my heart pounding as his erection pressed against my thigh. The look in his eyes captivated me, I had never felt so desired in my life. It was the way he was taking me in, every inch of me, his pupils dilated with desire.

Midafternoon sunlight wafted through my bedroom window, bathing his skin with a soft glow. My hands traced every contour of his body while his fingers slid along my skin, leaving trails of hot desire in their wake. The mewling sounds erupting from my throat made him grow longer… harder against my thigh. I shifted, wrapped my palm wrapped around his cock, marveling at its size. Hot, hard, velvety at the same time.

His lips were all over me, as if not sure where to land. Nibbling on mine, and then moving downward to nuzzle my jaw, meandering slowly and ever so tantalizingly down along the side of my neck. Then lower. I sucked in a breath as his hot, wet mouth fastened around one of my nipples, his tongue teasing it into a hard nub.

The noises escaping my throat told him how much I enjoyed his attention and he chuckled softly. I grabbed his head and gently pulled his lips away from one breast and guided it to the other, also aching for his touch. He obliged, swirling his tongue over the areola, causing my back to arch as he sucked, teased, blew and then sucked some more.

I wanted more.

Skimming my hands down his back, I grasped his ass, cupping his buttocks as I pulled him closer. He nestled between my legs, his excited gasps matching mine. I slid my hand between us and again clutched his cock, so soft and silky on the outside, all hardness as I slowly stroked its length, then released his shaft to cup his balls.

The groan that my attention pulled from him made me feel powerful, and I repeated the action, stroking, cupping. Desire pulsed through my body, and I instinctively spread my legs wider. His lips came down on mine and his tongue plunged into the depths of my mouth as he opened a condom, then the tip of his cock nudged against my opening. He dipped inside gently, my muscles grasping his shaft.

As if we'd done this millions of times before, our hips began to rock in a perfect, languorous rhythm. Delighting in the sensations and impatient, I picked up the pace, faster, harder. With each thrust of his hips, I lifted my own, gyrating in a small circle, trying to pull him deeper inside me.

I couldn't believe how good we were together, especially for the first time, as if we were meant to be. It was as if he could sense what I needed, and what he needed slipped through my pores and into my blood.

I pressed my hands against his buttocks, urging him deeper, closer. He obliged and in seconds the heat in my core bloomed and burned hot as I reached the crescendo. I came like a tide coming in, unstoppable, reaching new heights. He rocked his hips harder. One wave crashed over the other, each one filled with a greater sensation that took my breath and filled me with warmth. White lights flashed behind my eyelids, my lips parted on a loud cry as I rode the waves. Joel plunged deep and held himself there as he groaned long and low, the contractions of his shaft and the shortened, abbreviated rocks of his own hips telling me he'd found his release, and another wave washed over me.

He collapsed on top of me and I relished his weight — the solid feel of him on top of me, inside me. I felt safe wrapped so tightly in his arms. I let my hands drift softly upward from his buttocks, letting my fingers say what I felt as I entwined my arms around his waist, reveling in the moment. My heartbeat slowly returned to normal, but my head still spun. I'd never experienced such intense feelings before. Not with anyone.

Breathing hard, he lifted his weight off me and rolled to the side, pulling me up against him until we were spooned, my back to his chest. So safe and secure. As our breathing slowed, I thought about what I was doing, then pushed that from my head and instead pressed my ass against his groin.

He chuckled and shifted, then lay on his back, pulling me on top of him. "Let's go to my room."

I shook my head. I didn't want to go there, where Kelli slept. "Let's stay here," I whispered and he nodded. He smiled as I passed my gaze over his body, his dick wiggling under my attention, still encased in its wrapper. "Got another one?"

He grinned and pointed to his wallet, laying on the side of the bed. I lifted an eyebrow. "I follow the Boy Scout motto. Always be prepared."

I laughed as he removed the used condom, carefully wrapped it in a Kleenex from the box on my bedside table, and then retrieved a fresh one from his wallet. In seconds, he had unrolled it along his still erect length.

"Ready for round two?"

I grinned as he pulled me on top of him. Emboldened, I straddled him, placing my hands on his broad shoulders, a surge of power rising in me as his gaze devoured my breasts. Slowly, drawing out exquisite sensations that made me wet with desire again, I lowered myself onto his cock. My head tilted back, reveling in the way he filled me, and my back arched, thrusting my breasts forward.

When he was hilted, I leaned forward, my breasts pressed against his chest. I took his lips with mine in a kiss that was long and hard, impatient, like the cock pulsating inside me. My blood surged with renewed passion.

As my hips began to rock, he urged me up slightly and took one of my nipples in his mouth. I groaned with pleasure as he circled his tongue around first one nipple and then the other. Our hips rocked together, a perfect rhythm, as he filled me completely, every thrust sending shocking waves of pleasure through me. It was so intense that without warning we climaxed at the same time. My muscles tightened around his shaft as they rippled with the strength of my second orgasm, his engorged cock pumping fast in his release.

As the intensity gradually ebbed, I leaned onto his chest, my breath coming in ragged gasps. After a few moments, he pulled out of me and quickly removed his condom.

As I lay next to Joel, our chests rising and falling with exertion, to say that I was conflicted would be an understatement. I felt guilty enough about this ploy that Kelli had undertaken, and about my own part in it. Now I'd slept with him.

Looking for an excuse, I wondered, could it still be considered cheating after Joel confessed that he wasn't committed to Kelli? That he didn't think that things were going to work out between them. That inviting her to move back had been a mistake.

And even more importantly, where did that leave me and Ethan?