I'd left Sarah's room several hours ago for mine, but I couldn't settle down, couldn't stop my mind from running back over having Sarah beneath me, and above me. I shifted under the covers that were suddenly too hot.

I’d come to a conclusion about my relationship with Kelli.

After being with Sarah, I’d made my decision. It wasn't just the sex, though that had forced me to this decision. With her, I felt so… I wasn't even sure how to put it. Natural? Comfortable? In tune with my partner?

It was all of those things. Sarah's personality continued to attract me to her. Being intimate with her had just emphasized those feelings and the certainty that Kelli was just not the one for me. I should've realized sooner. Should have thought twice about reestablishing my relationship with her, which I’d done because I wanted to believe that just because she'd had a baby everything would change.

And there was my problem. What would happen when I told Kelli that things were not going to work out between us? Would she take Ethan away? I scowled. Married or not, I would fight her for custody of my son if it came to that. In just a short amount of time, the boy had become extremely important to me. My heart clenched at the thought of him not being under my roof every day. I loved Ethan.

Not only that, but I was beginning to wonder if I'd fallen in love with Sarah as well. Inadvertently, in increments, day by day. It didn't matter to me that I didn't know much about her background other than what she’d told me about her parents. What I did understand was that she was different. Much more mature than Kelli, more grounded, more… motherly toward Ethan. I’d tried not to be too critical of Kelli in that regard. Still, seeing Sarah with my son gave me the impression that she would always do the right thing, by him and by me. Plain truth, I trusted her. Completely. And even though it'd only been hours since I'd had her in my arms, had her completely, I couldn't get her out of my head.

The only issue was how I was going to—

A soft knock on my bedroom door interrupted my thoughts. I threw the covers back, pulled on my jeans, and opened the bedroom door.

Sarah was standing there, looking timid and worried, all which disappeared as she stared at my chest.

I grinned. Was she back for more?

Her gaze remained fixed on my chest, but she blinked clear of the lust that apparently took over whenever we were within feet of each other now. "Joel…"

No. She wasn't here for more sex. She looked exhausted, not physically, but emotionally. "What's wrong? Is Ethan all right?"

She nodded. "He's fine, sleeping."

"What is it, Sarah?" I had a sinking feeling I already knew what she was going to say. Her quick glances up at my face presaged something I didn't want to hear.

"Joel, what we did…" She swallowed. "What we did was a mistake. We can't let it happen again."

"Sarah, I already told you that I wasn't, that Kelli and I weren't going to work out."

She looked up at me, a stern expression on her face. "Be that as it may, she still lives here. I still officially work for her. I don't want to be that woman, the woman that is blamed for breaking up a relationship."

"Sarah, I understand what you're saying, but—"

"Joel, please don't make this any more difficult than it already is." Her voice wavered. "Don't get me wrong. I am attracted to you, and I love the way you are with my—with Ethan. But I need this job more than you can imagine. I know things haven't always been the best between you and Kelli, but that's something that you two have to work out together." She offered a slight shrug, her hazel green eyes huge.

As I gazed at her heart-shaped face, a surge of disappointment rocked me, but I understood. And she was right. I had no right to pursue another woman while Kelli remained under my roof. I would take care of that when she got home.

"I respect your decision, Sarah, I really do," I said, letting my tone convey my emotion. "I won't forget what we did. And I don't think it was a mistake, but I respect your decision. I will tell you one thing though."

She glanced up at me again. "What's that?"

"Kelli and I will have a conversation about our future when she gets back. I'm going to ask her to move out. But I also… I know this might be a bit awkward for you, but I hope that you'll still be Ethan's nanny. You can still live here, if it works out that way." I paused, knowing that a separation from Kelli would not be so easy. "I'm going to insist on partial custody at the minimum. We'll work something out, if not, I’ll fight for custody. What I mean is, if you want to, and she's agreeable… I know you've grown increasingly fond of Ethan, and I don't want you to feel—" I was surprised by the sudden frightened expression that appeared on her face. Her mouth dropped open and her face drained of color. "Are you all right? I'm sorry. I shouldn't put you in the middle of this. It's just that I know—"

"Fight for custody?" she asked, her voice strangled, expression horrified. A hand lifted to her mouth as her lips began to tremble and tears filled her eyes.

I instinctively stepped forward to wrap my arms around her, but she backed away, hands still covering her mouth, eyes wide, a tear spilling from the corner of one while she backed slowly away.

"I'm sorry," she stammered. "I just… I didn't realize…" She quickly turned and walked down the hallway and there was the sound of the door to her room closing softly a moment later.

I wanted to go after her, talk to her, comfort her. I could've kicked myself for getting her so upset. I felt bad, but if there was one thing I was going to be with Sarah, it was completely honest. Just as I knew I could count on her honesty with me.

I wouldn't push. I'd give her space. It was the least I could do.