What the hell was I doing here?

I stood in the lobby of Kelli's apartment building, a row of locked metal mailboxes lining the wall in the alcove to my left. To my right was a nicely decorated lobby of sorts, a place for company or visitors to sit. In front of me stood two elevators, one which I’d planned to get on, and now I wasn’t so certain.

People did change. Maybe having a baby had changed Kelli.

After seeing Kelli walk into my office a few days ago, I couldn't deny that I still felt an intense physical attraction to her. Who wouldn't? She was a gorgeous creature, rounded out in all the right places.

Still, I felt undecided. Should I give her another chance? Give us another chance? Could I let go of everything that had happened? She slept with one of my best friends. How did you just let something like that go?

If I couldn't, if I held on to even a little bit of jealousy, resentment, or anger, it wouldn't work. If I ever lorded my graciousness in accepting her back into my life over her, I knew it wouldn't work.

I had to not only forgive, but try to forget, at least to the point where it wasn't a constant reminder every time I looked at her.

After I got back from the walk with Sarah and Ethan at Griffith Park yesterday, I’d closed myself up in my office and given her a call. I let her know I had questions that needed answers and arranged to meet at her apartment.

Once I got in that elevator and knocked on her door, there was no going back. I would be committed to working this out. There would be no in-between.

Unless, of course, her answers seemed off, like this whole situation seemed, just a little bit.

After several minutes, I finally stepped into the open elevator and pressed the button for the fifth floor.

My heart pounded a little harder now, indecision warring with acceptance. I’d resolved to give Kelli a chance. A chance to explain, a chance to reassess the potential of a renewed relationship. This, most importantly to me at this moment, gave me the potential of becoming a real, full-time father to Ethan. I resolved that no matter what happened between Kelli and I, that I did want to be a part of Ethan's life. Not just with child support, not as an every-other-weekend dad, but truly a part of his life.

The elevator stopped and the door swished open.

I stepped out and found myself at the far end of a carpeted hallway, the textured walls painted a soft silvery blue and dotted with well-done artwork. Several antique-looking walnut tables with curved legs held vases of fresh flowers.

The blue carpet squished softly beneath my feet as I took one step forward, then another, eyeing the apartment numbers as I went. There weren’t many numbered doors. I’d been here before and knew that the apartments in this building, while not ultra-luxurious, were large—as were the monthly rental payments.

Finally, almost all the way down the hall and to the left, where the windows of her apartment would face west to catch the sunsets, which I knew she loved, I raised my hand to the door and knocked.

Seconds later, the door opened and Kelli stood before me wearing skimpy lingerie, her pink areolas showing through the white lacy bodice. The bodice was fastened just under the center of her breasts with one large button and then draped down at an angle, opening toward the waistline, exposing her incredibly flat, toned belly.

I idly took in that flat belly, thinking that she must’ve had one hell of a personal trainer, as my eyes continued to skim downward. A small triangle of lace barely hid the mound of her pussy, the thong straps rising high over her hips.

I hesitated on the threshold. What the hell was she thinking?

She reached out, clasped my hand, and pulled me inside.

Shutting the door, she leaned close to me, pressing her breasts against my chest. Of its own accord, my cock responded. I tried to step back, but she followed.

Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough, because the next thing I knew, her lips had locked over mine, her tongue pressing into my mouth. I inhaled the scent of her perfume and a memory flamed in response—her, naked in my bed. Another of her kneeling on all fours, her ass tucked into my groin, pressing against my erection. My hand under her, tweaking her nipples, my other hand cupping her pussy, one finger sliding in and out of her slit, wet with desire. Her hips rotated languorously, my dick throbbing as I slid that finger in and out, the meat of my palm caressing her mound while my thumb circled her nub, eliciting delicious moans of pleasure from her throat—

"You in there?"

My attention snapped back to the present, and I smiled at her, the heat of the memory still fresh.

A flush of color rose in her cheeks. "I remember too. I remember the heat as you touched me. The way my nipples hardened as that heat spread through my body until it settled into a hot ball of fire in my pussy." She grabbed my ass and pressed against me, rubbing her hips suggestively against mine.

I stared down at her, my body responding but my brain wary.

She placed both hands on my ass cheeks and squeezed, pressing my erection tight to her mound. My heartbeat accelerated as a rush of sensations surged from my dick to the muscles of my abdomen. I remembered the feel of her pussy holding my cock tight, clenching as if seeking something to grab, the walls of her contracting of their own will.

She trailed her hand down to my bulging erection, tracing my dick through my pants.

She wanted me.

But I needed to be sure she wanted only me.

Then she unzipped my pants, right there in the middle of the foyer. She wrapped her hand around my hot, throbbing cock, pulsing now with a desire of its own. Rubbed her thumb over the head, my silky shaft under the spell of her fingers.

Lifting herself on her toes and closing her eyes, she pressed her lips to mine.

At first, I didn't respond.

She stroked me, once, twice, and nibbled on my lower lip.

My discipline broke and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close, melding her body against mine. The kiss grew more intense as her warm tongue traced the contours of my lips and then delved farther inside. My body responded, remembering, and my hand automatically reached for her pussy, damp with anticipation. Her heat blossomed in my hand, its flames surging through my body, making my heart beat faster, my breath come harder.

She leaned against me for support, her breasts pressed against my chest, and from her moans, aching for my touch. A throaty moan erupted from her as she grasped my shoulder and stroked my chest. Her palm grazed my abdomen, and I watched her nipples protrude through the lace, hard with desire as I traced the contour of one with the pad of my thumb.

Her breath was warm on my lips, my senses alive and attuned to every nuance of her expression. The warmth of soft flesh beneath my fingertips. My burgeoning erection pressed against her mound. The scent of her skin.

Her gaze traveled over my face, looking for a hint of what I might do. Holding my gaze for a second, she lifted up on her toes and kissed me again, plunging her tongue into my mouth. Unless I stopped her, she would take it all the way. Perhaps she felt she had to prove the connection between us, the old rhythm, the sense of familiarity and comfort. I didn't care, not right now.

I abruptly broke off the kiss and reached for her hand.

She grasped mine with what almost felt like desperation.

If we didn’t have anything else, we definitely had sexual chemistry. That was very real when it came to our sex. Always had been.

I let her pull me to the bedroom, relishing the sight of that sculptured back, narrow waist, and ample ass. I could hardly wait to dip myself in.

The moment we stepped into her bedroom, she turned to me again, draping herself across my body as she melted into a kiss, pressing herself close.

My cock grew harder, longer against her upper thigh. Heat surged through me in ever-growing waves. I couldn't have stopped now if I'd tried.

She wanted more, and reaching for the bottom of my shirt, tugged it impatiently upward, her warm fingers brushing against my stomach, my abs clenching at her touch. I reached up to help her and tossed it to the floor.

She laid her hands on my smooth, hairless chest and looked her fill as I let her, my cock pulsing with desire. I felt her shiver, knew it was the heat of my skin sending waves of pleasure through her.

She pressed her lips to the center of my chest, her palms lightly skimming downward to my waist as her tongue teased my nipples, turning them into hard little pebbles. The groan that rumbled from deep within my chest prompted her to continue. Her tongue circled my nipple, her breath hot and fast against my chest as she ran the palms of her hands along my hips and back up, tracing the contours of my ribs. Then she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me closer.

I groaned and wrapped my arms around her waist, then cupped her ass, pressing her groin closer to mine. My cock was full, aching to be inside her.

I slipped the skimpy outfit off her torso, exposing her gorgeous breasts to my admiration. I lifted one hand to gently cup a breast, squeezing softly, my thumb brushing across the tip of her nipple. It grew harder beneath my ministrations. I lowered my head and worshipped that nipple with a thoroughness that had her squirming in my arms, kissing and sucking until she sagged weakly against me, her head thrown back. She clung to my shoulders, her legs widening their stance for support. I nestled my thigh between them, pressing against her pussy. Her body instinctively began to move. I wanted my cock inside her, plunging deeply, eliciting sensations I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Our tongues played tag as my hand worshiped one breast while the other struggled to shove the scrap of cloth she wore down past her hips. Her breath grew faster, her chest rising and falling with barely contained passion. Her pussy was wet with desire when I slid my hand there, my thumb pressing gently against her clit. My fingers explored her lower lips until I finally delved one deep inside as she gasped. I wiggled my finger, curled it to that spot I remembered so well, and she groaned. Chuckling softly in my throat, I backed her toward the bed, removing my hand as she sat, spreading her legs for me.

I unbuttoned my pants as she tugged at them until I stepped out of them, my dick bouncing outward as it was freed from its constraints.

She wrapped her hand around the base of my cock, and then that hand slid gently upward as she took me into her mouth with practiced ease. Her tongue circled my glistening head before she tightened her lips and sucked, not too hard, but enough to pull a grunt of pleasure from my throat.

My legs slightly spread, my hands resting softly on her head, she looked up at me and then rolled her tongue along the length of my cock while her other hand traced my hips and cupped my ass.

Then that hand slid inside my legs, cupped my balls as if assessing their weight. They hardened beneath her touch, and she rolled them in her palm while her tongue continued to work its magic on my shaft. I saw the throbbing, thick veins along its length that her ministrations elicited and grasped a handful of her hair as she worked me to a near frenzy.

I grumbled with impatience when I remembered I hadn’t brought any protection. Fuck. In a quick move, I lifted her onto the bed, her hand still wrapped around my dick.

When she laid facing me, her breasts pressed together, one hand still wrapped around my shaft, the other caressing my balls, we kissed again. Our lips and tongues explored, darting, plunging, and then retreating, only to repeat the movements over and over until she uttered a soft scream of impatience.

I caressed her breasts, taking turns moving between each, tweaking and thumbing her nipples while I softly sucked on her tongue. Her skin felt hot and slick as my free hand trailed down her abdomen until it cupped her pussy again, my fingers dipping inside her slick center. I let the stroking of my fingers match her attention to my cock as her thumb slid over my head. I called and raised the stakes by rubbing my thumb against her clit.

She offered a soft cry and then rolled onto her back and spread her knees to offer me greater access. I took advantage as my finger retreated from her clit and teasingly traced the contours of her inner thigh. I ran my fingers back to her center and paused long enough to tease her nub, and then slid my finger deep inside while rubbing my palm against her mound. Then I repeated the process with her other thigh. Her hips began to rock with increasing insistence. Every time my fingers even came close to her slit, her hips moved upward, seeking my touch.

Her fingers tightened around my cock, stroking harder and faster. Every few strokes she rubbed her thumb over the top of my head, eliciting a surge of slick wetness. Her other hand continued to rhythmically squeeze my balls, then found the juncture where they connected to my body. I groaned as she massaged that area.

I reached my limit at the same time that her hips rocked faster, both of us impatient now to finish what we'd started. I knew this was only the beginning of what would likely be a long and pleasantly exhausting night.

I worked my magic with my fingers as she made small, desperate noises. My finger slid in faster, my thumb increasing the pressure on her clit while her hand pumped my cock. I felt the engorged veins along the shaft bulging, throbbing… and then the muscles along its length contracted even harder. The pumping motion of her hand met my own as I increased the speed of my finger plunging deep inside her, my lips sucking her tongue in measured time. She rocked her hips upward as her muscles tightened around my finger. I kept it nestled deep inside her, her mound thrusting against my palm. She succumbed to the pulsating waves of her climax, as I allowed myself release, burying my face in her neck as hot semen burst from me, surging onto her sweat-slicked abdomen.

We lay breathing heavily, unmoving for several moments before I shifted and rose from the bed, my dick still throbbing with the aftermath, heading for the bathroom to douse a washcloth with water.

Several rounds later, I lay flat on my back, exhausted, but at the same time more settled in my mind. I had the answer I'd been looking for. It wasn't just the mind-blowing sex that had convinced me to give her another try. It was my desire to have a family, to provide Ethan with a stable environment.

A child needed a father and a mother to have the best chance. I knew. Having grown up without my mom…

I pushed my mind away from that train of thought. I might be making a big mistake, but I’d decided to give Kelli another chance.

I knew that with Kelli back in my life, it would only be a matter of time before tongues started to wag and word got out. Not just about our reunion, but about Ethan. My son. I would have to tell everyone. That meant, sooner rather than later, I would have to tell my dad. I could add the news to the long list of disappointments my dad had accrued against me over the years.

* * *

Two days later, I made that phone call. To say I was taken aback when my dad congratulated me would be a wild understatement. Was it the news that I was getting back with Kelli, whom he'd always liked, or was it the fact that I had given him a grandson? I didn't know, and I didn't ask.

The following week, Kelli moved back in.

When I’d given Sarah the news, the color drained from her face before she turned away to finish preparing Ethan's milk bottles. At first, I was confused by her reaction. After all, she was the one who convinced me to give Kelli another chance.

Then I realized. "You're worried I'm going to let you go, aren't you?" I watched her carefully, her hand trembling slightly as she tried to screw a nipple onto one of the bottles. She gave a small sniffle. "Look at me, Sarah," I said softly.

She offered a quick shake of her head and turned purposely to the kitchen window, looking outside.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and turned her gently to face me. I wasn't terribly surprised to find tears brimming in her eyes. I was touched by her love and devotion to Ethan. With Kelli back, she obviously believed that I was going to fire her.

"Don't worry, Sarah, I'm not going to let you go. Between Kelli's busy schedule and mine, we still need you. All right?"

She offered a nod and brusquely wiped a tear from her cheek. "I… I'm sorry, Joel, it's just that I've grown to love Ethan, and the thought of not being with him—"

At that moment, the front door slammed shut.

Ethan, napping in his room nearby, emitted a startled cry.

I frowned and turned toward the kitchen threshold just as Kelli swept in, stopping short when she saw us at the counter, my hand still on Sarah's shoulder. A look passed over her face but was gone immediately.

"I was just telling Sarah that she didn't have to worry about us letting her go," I said. "That Ethan still needs plenty of care with our busy schedules."

Kelli pasted a smile on her face, glanced at Sarah, then at me. "Of course." She focused her attention back on Sarah. "How are you at planning parties?"

"Parties?" Sarah asked, one hand still holding a bottle of milk. Ethan warbled another soft cry, and she glanced toward the nursery. "I… I'm good at organization," she mumbled, then gestured with the bottle. "If you'll excuse me, I'll go settle Ethan down." She paused to look back over her shoulder at Kelli. "I'll be glad to help you arrange your party or whatever else you need."

I wasn't sure about the look that passed between Kelli and Sarah. Of course, the two had known each other way longer than I had known Sarah.

Kelli turned to me, wrapped her arm around mine, and grinned. "I'm going to plan the biggest and best party you've ever seen, Joel. All our friends and families are going to celebrate not only our getting back together, but our baby. Sound good to you?"

I wasn't sure about a huge party announcing our reconciliation. Then again, perhaps it was better that we controlled the dissemination of information rather than allowing gossip to muddy the waters. I glanced at Sarah, but she was already moving quickly down the hall, offering soothing sounds to Ethan as she went.

I turned back to Kelli. "Sure," I said, her closeness once again stirring my desire. "Sounds good."